No copyright infringement intended
Date of birth: 31/3/17
12/3/19 – My Lord, you won’t believe this! I’ve just heard a choir singing a song with the words “As your god I don’t ask for much. I just hope I’ve changed the way you think about life” in it. I guess you’re getting famous and godpowerful!
If you can even call it 'life'.
5/3/19 – Quest #1000: Get away from it all
One thousand quests! And I don't even feel old.
16/1/19 – Divine enlightenment politely made it clear that I was calling my pet by the wrong name all this time. I’ll be calling him Sagecrates from now on!
Oh my... self. What have I done?
16/1/19 – After such a glorious battle with the Philosoraptor I could not bring myself to deliver the finishing blow. Instead, he will be my new companion. Come along, Toto, let’s go questing!
I'm eager to ride you! ...Wait.
8/1/19 – Divine enlightenment politely made it clear that I was calling my pet by the wrong name all this time. I’ll be calling him Methuselah from now on!
My tortoise might live even longer.
8/1/19 – A log! A thousandth log! I’m even ready for a flood now. Not that I’m asking for it, Omnipotent One.
Ta-daaa! I'm feeling like Noah. Sorta.
29/12/18 – Saw a paper with the headline, “I’m the opposite of Santa Claus”, Exalted One! You’re front page news!
!samtsirhC yrreM ,oH oH oH
20/12/18 – Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “I am so holy, I am so holy, I am so holy, I am so holy, h,l,o… I mean h,o,l,y.”, Most Righteous One!
I won't need my god-school diploma anymore.
9/11/18 – Reported my success at side job agency and was rewarded with a valuable prize. Got two logs for the ark.
First side job completed. Aren't all my quests enough? Anyway...
13/10/18 – Suddenly had a burning desire to open up the improbability drive. As I raised the intricately marked lid, memories started flooding back and I remembered a death I had suppressed. Darn!
Death #50. It was supposed to be more epic.
1/10/18 – Saw a paper with the headline, “One morning I shot an Oxydjinn in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.”, Most Righteous One! You’re front page news!
Those are my godvoices, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
30/7/18 – Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “You are not lost; it is normal for you to walk in circles, little one. I mean, look at the map…”, Mighty One!
I always thought the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Monty's feet must be swollen and painful.
7/7/18 – You know, Almighty, it looks like people are passing your saying, “How dare you call my hand “impudent”!”, around as a prayer. Isn’t that great?
Sometimes, I have to teach some manners to my hero.
3/7/18 – Nessie’s first birthday is today. It’s a special moment and all that stuff, but I want a rideable pet so bad…
27/6/18 – A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “Who the heck writes the dungeon journal?.” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, my Lord!
I was just wondering it...
24/6/18 – My Lord, you won’t believe this! I’ve just heard a choir singing a song with the words “Do you know, hero of mine, that real life is also procedurally generated?” in it. I guess you’re getting famous and godpowerful!
4/5/18 – I changed my motto. Yes, this deserves a place on my chronicles because it happens less often than an eclipse.
16/3/18 – Got my Animalist medal. Nessie must be proud.
21/10/17 – My face must be glowing like this golden temple I just now finished for you, Almighty. I have to say, it does look great!
Long days of hard work... finally paid off.
21/10/17 (My last golden brick) – My knuckles are sore and bleeding, but that’ll teach these books to never fall off the shelf onto me ever again.
I’ve finally managed to hit the books until they don’t hit back. My titanic efforts were rewarded with a golden brick and some pocket change!
His face was running with sweat, but somehow Monty was happy. He finally got some pocket change.
22/9/17 – Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “Always look on the bright side of life… (whistle sound)”, Great One!
Just a simple reference, isn't it?
11/9/17 – You know, Most Righteous One, it looks like people are passing your saying, “My Harvest Moon. Oh e oh e oh. I think I wanna know ya know ya … yeah, what.”, around as a prayer.
8/7/17 – I looked into the kind eyes of the vanquished monster and suddenly decided — Ninja Tortoise, you’ll be my pet! And I’ll call you Nessie. Bandaged his wounds, gave him a treat and fastened the leash.
My stalwart friend. My loyal companion.
4/7/16 – I heard that if you love someone, you should set them free. I released Sparky into the wild to pursue his hopes and dreams. Meanwhile, I’m off to pursue all my greatest ambitions, in the tavern.
He was a good guy. But not enough.
31/5/16 – Left bromance and joined Harvest Moon. Got a warm welcome.
Sunshine is nice, but moonshine is so much better.
27/5/16 – Got a dust bunny pet: Sparky “Harsh”.
18/5/16 – Goodbye, Sneezy. You’ve been a loyal firefox.
MY BEST TIPS FOR GODVILLE
- Send “heal” voices when exploring a dungeon and not fighting a boss; they’re more effective.
- Even if someone is driving, don’t hesitate to send directions. Who knows, maybe you’re right!
- Feel free to tell the driver off, as if you die, it’s totally their fault.
- If you’re sailing, you may want to go AFK. Auto steer works fine, and your hero’ll end up exiting via the port and activating artifacts automatically.
- Post random and annoying texts in some guilds’ forum so that people will know you.
- Always send the same useless voice. Every day.
- Tell everyone to vote your chronicles. As soon as you friend them.
- Giving away your password to a rando online has always been a good idea.
- Hacker wannabes are well looked upon in this game.
- Don’t care about being nice; no one can see your face so you’re safe.
- Whatever you do, cheat!
MY WORST TIPS FOR GODVILLE
- Find an active guild, don’t be afraid to talk and send your hero to dungeons/sails with your fellows: this helps to get to know them, to get treasury or booty successfully and to make your guild go up in pantheons.
- Vote other gods’ voices: be fair (don’t abuse!) but, if you do it regularly, you’ll get an extra boost on your GP. The same applies for the Ideabox; vote all entries and an extra boost on your prayers will be granted.
- You can also get a boost on your GP sending voices of god and submitting ideas to the ideabox. Just try to be witty.
- Always keep a 50% of godpower: this ensures you’ll always have enough GP for arena, dungeon, activatable artifacts, etc.
- During a duel, influences and voices work better in your turn.
- If you’re concerned about your hero’s personality (besides encouraging/punishing) try to craft a Hammer of realignment on a regular basis.
- Turn your phone notifications on so that you can benefit from special monsters, Invites to Godville (gather as much as you can, friends are useful), and on the whole all activatable items you get before your hero gets rid of them.
- If you have a lot of gold or bold items, don’t send to ZPG arena, neither go AFK in arena/dungeon. At least, try to keep your gains under control!
- If you want to miracle when travelling, wait until your hero has low HP. You don’t want to spend 50% of GP on healing a healthful hero, right?
- Don’t overdrive at dungeons. If the driver is making a mess, try to add him or send a voice of god asking to take over driving.
- Use Discord to find active dungeon mates. Although this is not guaranteed, your chances will be higher. Anyway, if you announce in Discord, be active and try to drive.
- Treasury at dungeons is usually a few steps away from the nook. It can be your first clue. Also, sticky traps and wormholes tend to show up when you are on the way to treasury.
- Watch out when digging; make sure you have enough HP and GP in case you bump into a boss monster. There’s good advice out there on how to prevent that from happening, but not mine.
- Try not to send to arena/dungeon/sail when your hero is about to finish a quest – especially an epic one.
- Go for the bingo after activating an orange box, bag of trophies, etc. Anyway, you should always be careful; make sure you don’t get rid of those valuable bold items!
7/11/17 – The day I “fished” the same golden brick I used as bait:
01:39 Squatted to fish. I don’t think I’d bite for the golden brick, but it’s worth a try.
01:47 Without the slime and silt, this brick I fished out of the water could easily be golden.
9/7/18 – This is so fitting…
03:55 PM What’s taking the quest giver so long? He’s usually awake at this hour… Oh, whatever. I’ll just find something better to do while I wait and check back for a mission later.
2/9/18 – Highest amount popped in the GP cap: 62%
10/12/18 – Highest amount of gold carried: 50302
21/12/19 – Put 27233 gold coins away for a rainy day instead of buying an umbrella. I’m soaking wet but marginally wealthier. (highest deposit so far)
8/1/19 – Fastest pet rez: 1h 38 min
20/2/19 – Highest bingo score: 47