ƒar out Bell§prout! 🌱
Rune Spectre’s GodWiki (This has more chapters, memes and images)
So you’re curious to know a little more about us, aye? Well buckle up, butter cup! You’re in for a ride!
Current Focus:
- Datamining for words and that sweet sweet Bosscoin
- Earning Careerist Achievement – Guild hopping. Hate to lose my rank 😞
- Spelunking for perfect boss and gold (Death to AFKs!)
- Chronicle – Drafting Chapter 14. Won’t be added until hero finishes Book and/or Savings as it will tie in to those achievements. It will be something completely different and relies heavily on Voice of Gods and Datamining.
- GodWiki – Adding Chronicle and other content to God Page for easier viewing
Achievements / Personal Bests: 🏆
- 🎉 Celebrated Godvilles 8th, 10th & 12th Birthday! 11/5/ 18,20,22.
- ⛩️ Temple completed on: 15/4/15 – Aged 10 months, Lvl 48;
- 🎂 Celebrated Azrath Bunny’s 4th & 8th Birthday! 21/5/ 18,22.;
- 🎨 Made it into ƒorsakens Lament Hall of Portraits 4/6/18;
- 🙏 Entered into the Pantheon of Gratitude on 5/6/18;
- 🎊 Celebrated Godvilles 3000th day! 27/7/18;
- 🛥 Completed Ark on 5/12/18;
- 🐾 Earned Animalist Medal on 13/12/18
- 🐠 Collected Two of Every kind (1000 Pairs) & earned the Creature Master Medal on 12/9/20;
- 📖 Entered into Pantheon of Storytelling, Ranked 5th on 09/24/20;
- 👹 Created 1st Boss Monster (Detrimentalist with 130% power) on 14/11/2020;
- 👹 Created 2nd Boss Monster (Oxydjinn with 323% power) on 11/6/2022;
- 📰🗞️ Featured In Godville Times
19/8/21 08:05 AM Wow, I’m in the newspaper. That’s news!
Featured in Famous Heroes: 19/8/21 Day 4119;
“Azrath Bunny — 110th-level adventurer, member of the “The Forsakens Lament” guild, with the motto “Paradise Evicted”, stands at the 37th position in the pantheon of Storytellers under the vigilant supervision of the god Therunespectre. He always wanted to rub someone the wrong way, but never found the time.”
Featured in Ideabox News: 27/5/22 Day 4400;
“• Popular consensus is that Therunespectre’s genius knows no bounds.”
<3
📖🙏✨👻
The Book of The Rune Spectre
Written by Azrath Bunny, Edited by the Bureau of Rhesus Transcriptions
Chapter I
In the beginning… A lot of stuff happened. But due to the current political structure all reports have been redacted.
What I can tell you is; The Great Random rolled a natural 20 and Godville was born from the destruction.
Chapter II
Unfortunately, The Rune Spectre had a fondness for bunnies and after losing his new character sheet Azrath was born with a negative Intelligence modifier. By the time this happened all the original quests were taken and he was softly patted on the butt and told to go build a temple with some shiny bricks. Children love playing with blocks.
But what kind of god is this?
If you wanted wealth, health or growing crops don’t look here! You could try rubbing the Rabbit’s foot for luck, but it might become rather embarrassed.
The last known Epic quest was to Extinguish the Eternal Flame. Campfire stories became more dramatic. Pure Evil
Chapter III
Jenga! The Temple is complete. Celebrations were assumed (There were a lot of drinks that night and no one quite remembers).
It was the first of many times to come that the little Rabbit woke up in a random cave with strange adventurers searching for a box of junk.
According to The Godville Times a flood is prophesied and the name of the game is “Pick up Sticks!” Upon questioning the astrologers where they got their data from, they silently rolled a pair of dice, looked at the result, consulted a notepad and replied with “No comment.”
After several ice blocks were consumed, it was deemed too slow and brain freeze became a severe threat. In retrospect, he may be immune to neurological conditions due to absence, but why take that risk?
By solemn decree from people who seem like they know what they’re doing, it was decided that caves were the best places to find wood. The demand for axes faltered, resulting in a financial crisis and the slogan “Turn back the monsters” became the new catchphrase as the beasts were used as a political scapegoat. This meant that previously mentioned caves were annoyingly occupied.
Needless to say, the forests overgrew and the air has never been cleaner.
Chapter IV
Joined the ƒorsakens Lament Guild because there is no rest for the wicked.
His portrait was hung in the Guild Hall with following inscription:
Emodiment of Influence: The Rune Spectre
This ancient earthbound spirit was once the Herald of Peace seeking to change the world. His name and life became long lost through the generations, as his intentions became twisted to condemn Godvillians into madness by their own hand through an aura of haunting. The Rune Spectre can only be seen at night as a glowing, ethereal shadow lazily drifting at the edge of where good men do bad things.
Luckily, Azrath doesn’t need any beauty sleep. Kicked a puppy for good measure and gained a free glow-in-the-dark Haunting Aura, to no effect. He did however become every childs’ choice of nightlight.
With the flood imminent, we find the Hero rehearsing that scene from the Titanic, with his 58.5% completed ark. On Top Of the World? More like on top of his meds.
And in other News: The Rune Spectre yawns lazily; A butterly flaps its wings and a tornado is created to the demise of many pinwheels; Scientific research reveals “Deities are always watching” and; Healers, why didn’t you adjust?
Chapter V
Quest #1000 (Epic)
19/7/18 09:13 PM An epic journey of a thousand milestones begins with a drunken dare to do six impossible things before breakfast.
Well-travailed Azrath was invited to the fanciest tea party of Godville. Seats assigned but rarely enforced. Hats mandatory. The aroma of tea and sweet cakes irresistible.
As he sat down and sat down again in a different seat, a courier rushes into the courtyard with his messenger bag flailing wildly. He drops an envelope onto the table addressed to the Bunny, saluted and ran off spilling sandwich stands along the way.
“Azrath Bunny. The ƒool of Godville.
Thunder clouds have left my voices unheard so I am writing my demands to you.
Put aside that sizzling bacon and side of eggs. You must prove your worthiness before you eat this feast with these six impossible tasks, each more difficult than the last.
The first; to drink the tea that I have imbued and brewed. You will see visions of the future and meet with me on the spirit plane as you realize your size in the scheme of things.
The second; to take the cake. You will see the truth of the universe, gain purpose and grow in soulfulness. Your title is well-received.
The third; talk to the creatures of nature and become one with the animals. You are halfway there in this form. Recruit the gophers for your constructions, and the woodland creatures for your armies.
The fourth; Find Schrödinger’s Cat and learn its quantum secrets so you may live forever in theory. I’m tired of resurrecting you.
The fifth; Continue your travels. You have not explored all there is to see. Go beyond the spiral map and find the place called Wonderland
And sixth; While there; slay the Jibber-Jabberwocky. It knows too much and needs to be silenced.
Until you have done these you shall not have breakfast. In fact, every time you wake the sun will always be high in the sky and no alarm will rouse you.
The Rune Spectre"
The queen was not amused as Azrath read the letter and abruptly excused himself before his execution could be declared. He poured a steamy cup of chai ginger and cinnamon tea into his fat gob. It burned on the way down and warmed his fuzzy insides. His whiskers twitched with delight and caffeine. The pupils widened and everything he viewed became shiny and vibrant as he floated away from the table.
After passing Bad Gateway, the hero realised he’d wound up far from his home. It appears his dyslexia caused him to mistype the IP Address. The forest here was lively and it was a great place to fulfill part of his quest. Chasing butterflies was ineffective. They’re very judgmental.
Luckily, he found some dryads whom shared his sweet tooth.
21/7/18 02:07 PM Some wood nymphs were hosting a cake sale. Spent a few coins on cute cupcakes and an extra-large jelly roll.
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Fat on sugar and merry dancing, a Guild of Forestry was formed. From then on Gophers were trained to leave logs of wood for the hero at his temple.
The fae told of other secrets too which will aid the bunny further; A pet thought to outlive them all. If it were alive, that is.
They hastily shoved a box into the bunny’s paws and told him that the secret to immortality lay inside, as long as the dope didn’t open the lid and spoil it. The smell of rotting meat wafted from nearby and the buzzing of flies protected the case. Intrigued, he fingered the edge of the lid and got a static shock. Surely that was from his god, watching with careful attention.
Energized, the Bunny ran in circles. The trees and hills saturated with fantastic colour. The towns he saw! There was one covered in snow. Another, populated by a single old lady with a nasty temper. A ghost town, without any ghosts. He saw The Awful Tower and Mount Always Awake. He somehow fell off the map. (Or just hit his head).
[Censored]
Mid-battle we find the bunny next against a most foul beast. Many heads and claws and jaws all gnashing. Have you tried talking to many people at once? That’s what it’s like. And they’re all talking non-sense. And it never stops. The bunny tied it’s long ears into a bow. (Someone called it a girl but he couldn’t hear). He picked up his pointy stick and went straight for the heart!
There were no parades or confetti. But the following day, as the sun peaked from the edge of the world, the bunny’s eyes opened with ease. A drooling grin eased against his fluffy face as he smelt pancakes and rich syrup.
Chapter VI
One fish, two fish, boy fish, fenfish.
12/9/20 11:15 PM Fearsome One, I just re-counted the pairs and I think the ark now has a thousand of them. We’re not going to cram another thousand in there, are we?
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Where did all that bait go?! Shorely this rabbit has better things to do than sail and fish.
Who doesn’t love tuna? Well, now that The Gold Magikarp (Yes, that is the ships name) has become twice as woodier- 201% to be exact, I do believe the Bunny can move on to bigger and better things. A BIGGER ARK! Nah.
Hey! Why is the hull full of… everything? And in pairs! What is this, the love shack? Please tell me that they’re paying rent. I look away for one second. Ok, I was asleep at the wheel. Helm? Do Gods even drive? And maybe it was more than one second, maybe I’ve been passively leaving it up to free will for too long. Oh my. Azrath Bunny has his god doubting himself… This will require sacrifice and a deep spiritual recompense to attain order before the hammer of destruction meets mortal head and summons big cartoony stars. Do Gods also hammer? Oh, crisis!
Chapter VII
00:18 It’s alive… It’s alive, it’s moving, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, IT’S ALIVE!
The bane of the Hero has always been the realization of its own mortality. Thrown to the mercy of its deity forever. Forced to fight in the Pantheons of Old, against beasts and other Heroes alike in the Arena. To demand favor of the Gods through survival and the knowledge of powerlessness in the face of those Gods.
What could be done about this station, an attempt to rise up and claim Godhood? Why, harvesting the bodies of the fallen of Course! In the basement of the Temple a laboratory of gruesome proportions exists. A slab with said parts sewn together in an attempt to create a new dominion.
To look down at Fate through the moustached leer of villainy. To conquer life itself!
The Rune Spectre rolls his eyes; being a ghost and all. How many times have you died, Azrath? 118? But if you want a mindless Abby Normal pet to dominate. Go ahead. Your corruption strengthens for when you too, and you will; See the futility of existence with or without death, your heart will blacken and indulgences met with madness.
23:43 Woke up in the middle of sleep, in a room with walls covered by strange pentagrams, still muttering a word.
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Chapter VIII
First, a recap for those of you tuning in for the first time, or more likely, just haven’t been paying attention; Here’s what you missed. Let me set up the PowerPoint. Click Here you can see a little fluffy bunny playing with gold blocks. An architectural wet dream, so full of potential and innovation. Then, the voices started and he became a Psychiatrist’s’ nightmare, and truth be told, everyone else’s. An order of community service saw him removing trash from the caves. Somewhere in his eclectic noggin, he decided to assemble a raft from the litter to escape a Beaver’s warrant. A few squatters turned into permanent house guests which provided many, many adventures and odd-couple shenanigans like:
Azrath being introduced to a Fenimals’ parents. Here are the parents leaving, covered in what was meant to be dinner. Ugetcoal (Pet Satan Claws) dressing up for the Winter Solstice, and handing out gifts. The Wedding of Saint Bernard and my fourth cousin, Beatrice. No, wait, that slide shouldn’t be in there.
When we last saw Azrath he was collecting Boss parts. (I’d hate to have him in my employ, I’m rather attached to my limbs). The gruesome Detrimentalist, mostly just lays there twitching and moaning. Boring! There seems to be an abundance of spares, perhaps he’s going to build an army, or at least a bride.
Today, we will follow him on a Dungeon quest. Down we go! [Rapidly zoom in on a hole in the ground until the viewer gets nauseous]
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An old-looking goblin-gatekeeper confides: “Hey, this is a Labyrinth of Surprise! Quiet, but weak bosses tend to appear out of nowhere and attack all of a sudden. Watch your steps!
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Shhh, be very, very qwuiet, The party of three have burst into a full dungeon. Clearly, three’s a crowd, because they keep getting asked to leave. Another Hero takes the lead, heading straight to the Nook and Grannies. (Well, the Nook. The Grannies are playing bingo and overfeeding their grandchildren).
Out of the cracks of the walls an Auriferous Tumerisk appears. This angry spice seems to lacking in curry, but makes up for with bitterness. Fortunately, it prevents infection so the heroes are not afraid to strike while the stove is hot.
A few more steps and an Auriferous, Scurrying Hellevangelist came into view. Its dual personality proved no match for the trio who clearly outnumbered the beast! “Pick a side!” Shouted one of the heroes as the Hellevangelist tried to decide whom to pray to. The heroes Gods manifested for effect and intimidation. The Boss was made short work of and Azrath kept a Rib as a trophy.
If this is all the Labryinth has to offer, Midas-touch bosses; we are indeed looking forward to a huge payout.
Arrows pointed to the East and the Heroes took this as a sign. An ominous hallway creaked during the egression of the Hulking, Sweeping, Mutating Difficultist. He put down his broom and looked up through empty eyes chanting “ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn” before approaching. The sheer mass of Squidward was intimidating enough that Azrath and one of the other Heroes called on the aid of their own monsters to attack. The Detrimentalist, still moaning and twitching and a very enviable AfterlifeGuard heard the call. The reject was no match for the party of 5. Dinner was served! He didn’t even have time to mutate into something worthwhile.
Azrath plucked the Eye of the Difficultist from its gross socket, tried to use the lens as a monocular. It gave him visions of an octopus and he suddenly craved seafood.
Just 27 steps from start to finish. The treasure, was of course, behind this spooky janitor. A Gold-coin counter and 9082 recently counted coins. A comic timer and pun decontructor as well: Perfect for next night’s stand-up at the Athena. Think how intelligent Azrath will appear when he laughs at all the jokes this time!
For now, a quick rest at GodVille to tinker in the lab, and a sail. Time for some seafood! All aboard!
There you have it. A day in the life of a wackjob. Stay tuned for more tales from Bunnies Gone Wild! And Who Wants To Be A Deity’s Slave? 9/8c.
Chapter IX
Following are some drafts of the Book of The Rune Spectre. Please note: The Wretched Prophet hasn’t learnt all the glyphs yet so the alphabet is incomplete.
And it shall soon be written that the commandants of our most infernal trickster, the divine influencer, corrupter of mortal souls and pamper-er of fluffy animals shall be adhered to and etched into the eyelids of the faithful, under punishment of eternal disfavour… And like some really nasty stuff.
- Thou shalt hoard all the shinies
- Upon the Full Moon of the Blood Harvest anoint thyself in oil and wrestle with thy brethren. In cases of solitude; store bought is fine.
- Offerings must be floral and bloody.
- Obey prophetic visions. Heroic conquests, of Rapture and Hellfire. We gods have plenty of popcorn.
- A̸̢͙̹͍͉͖͎̜̣̟̙͕͔͖͍̹̔̊͛͒̍̿͒̋̄̊̂͆̂̏́̑̎͆̽́̍͊͛̈́͊̅͘͠l̷̜̭͋̈̆̃̈̆̑̌̍͛̊̎̚͘̚͝l̴̛̛͖͛̋͗̉̐͌̏̿̄̓̀̅͘͘͘͝͝͠͝ ̸̧̡̢̩̹͉̦̺̭͇̯̦̜͈̗̻͈̳̙̠̳̫͓̜̀̀͌̆̓į̸̡̢̛̥͇͚̹̹͓̝̻̝̜̲͓̮̲̰̻̹̹̉͛͛̂͛́̾̔͑͘̕͝ṡ̶̨̛̛̗̥̼̫͔͔̅̽̌̋̂̃͋̃̉̋̋͒̐̉́̚͘̕͠ ̸̨̧̧̡̛̣̥̯͔̣͈̣̮͍̯͎̠͚̭̖͕̱̥̳̹͕͕͔͕̲̿͑͋̀̒̾͗̽̅͗̒̌̏́͋̄̉͒͆͐̀̈́͘̚͝͝t̷͎͍̘̺̟͎̗̣̮͈̬̺̞̳̲͇̺͐͒̑̒̆̄̇͛͗̐͂͂͛͊̾̾͗̍̿̓̓̒͆̓̕͘̕ͅḫ̸̛͇͗̆̏̈́̓̊̆͑̿̆̐̓̓̇̈́̆̔̃̄̈́͘͜e̵̠̎ͅ ̶͖̬̼̹̭̫̱̙̲̫̖̙͆̆͐̏̆r̵̨̗̦̮̪̟̃͂̏͊͌̒̍̋͝͝e̵̪̘̯͕͍̍̄̄͐̌͂͠a̶͍͇͚̭̬͉̝̫͒͒̏̏̂̒͐͆͊̋͂̌͝ͅĺ̶̡̫̱̥̱͉̣̹͚̱͙̈́̀̒̃͐͐̔̀͐̃̌́͛̀͋̒͊̃͘͠m̷̨̡͕͎̦̼̲͚͕̱̲͍̜̤͉͙͍̼̉͌͗̎̉̽͒͛̋͐͆̓̎̋̐̃͛̓̇͗̏͒̑͘͘̚̕ ̷̢̢̜̦̣̟̬̯̞̦̼̦̳̳̖̜̟̱͈̞̰͙̏͌̒ơ̴̧̢̙̱͕̹̺͇̣̫͍̱̦̲̟̙̘̜̦̿̋͋̀̃̈́͌͛͊̊̿̈̋͌͑͐͜͜͠͝ͅͅf̸̰̥̖̲̹͖̥̬̞̤͚̭̻̺͎̅̀̾̑̏̅̇̿̍͂́̾́͗̚ ̴͇̝̮̺̰̄͋̍̋̋͋̄̃́̅͊̽̏̅̽̏̇̂͘̕R̸͉͚̀̋̈́ͅǔ̵̡̢̢̡̘̞̠̘̬̭̺̭̭̗̠̍̄̀̽̐̉̓̑̎̏̌̊̕͘̚͝ͅͅń̴̜ę̶̡̡͔̙̥͖̗͈̬̖͉̳̩̬̠̩̠̃͂͒̆̊͆̔̄̚͠ ̵̟̺͚̘͕̪̹̫̹̭̤͍̫̹̻̳̓̉̏̏̀́̃͆͑̎͂͘̚̕͜͝͠͝S̵̨̡̨̞̲̺̮̟͍̞̩̱͕̥̖̹̳̠̦̫̙̠̍̉̌̇̊̀̀̋̓̎͐͘͝p̶̨̧̫͇̲̺̙̲̟̜̠̲̗͚̳͉̜͉̈́́̇̒̚͜ę̷̧̡̣͕͖̬͕̮̜̘̘̱̰͖̖̮̠͚͎̟̯̙͕̲̌͑̀̾̌̽̊͗͑̀̈͑̌̇͛͋̈́̕̕͜ͅċ̸̡̡̩̝̠͔̳͎̯̘̲̟̭̼͈̩̙̪̞̽̓͂̎͝ͅt̶̨̡̛̟̮̫̯̳̘̳͙͇̖̰̜͔̞͚̗̤̲͎̰͉̂̉̈̈́̊͗̐̚͜͝ͅŗ̷̛̥̯̟̥̱̻͚͕̰͇̄̊͊̀̍̇͌̓̄́̐̉̈̇͋̌̌̿̓̈̕̚̕̕͜͝͝e̴̡̧̧̡̛̬͚̱͚̺̝͇̬͙͔̱̦̦̭͖̰͈͖̿́̄̊̈́̇͌̀̅̈́́̃̀̌̇͌̍́̽̀͋̆͑͝ͅ
The rest are spoilers. Roam free you vagabonds, with no more obligations. Wreak havoc!
The coffers of Azrath Bunny are slowly filling. Each gold penny brings prosperity and abundance. Lots of carrots. Frightened villagers are paying through the nose to stay safe. Sometimes literally.
It was just last week that Azrath went to Accountant (Name withheld; or just never bothered to learn), to check on the old piggy bank. 🐷 It squealed. Maybe a vault would have been preferable. So after a hearty breakfast 🥓, the rumpus room in the Temple was turned into a treasury. Good old Tige, the Double Dragon set to guard.
The Mayor of Godville staged many attempts to enforce his taxations. Threats of repossession were met with Rune Spectre performing his own… possession. The whole city soon learnt the color of the Mayors knickers as they held him down and recited an ancient language. His head rotated. Spun right round baby, right round.
The subsequent change of office put this matter at rest.
The tale generated much interest. It seemed to multiply as news spread. People wanted to know the full story and were willing to pay for it. What visions did the mayor see? Can I get possessed to get the day off work too? Does The Rune Spectre do children’s parties?
Chapter X 🎂 11/5/22
06:39 am Visited the soothsayer. She said I should celebrate Godville’s anniversary. I’m not one to argue with destiny, so off we go!
Sugar sprinkled from the heavens on this glorious day. God’s dandruff, surely the ambrosia of the city! The milestones were littered with candles and wishes for the future. Coloured wax dripping into the streets. There were no lost heroes today. Blue bricks mysteriously appeared at the doorsteps to every temple.
Sweet scents of cakes and pastries filled the air and balloons drifted listlessly in hazy celebration.
The culminating of years hard work was paying off today. Another bar filled, this time, instead of booze (That was later), but of experience.
01:51 PM Suddenly noticed that my experience bar was empty. Panicked for a moment, before I realized that I’m now level 117!
So when does the wisdom kick in? There is no meter for maturity.
A rush has come to the little bunny’s head. Meep-meep. All the way to Bumchester for it’s lavish parties. Tonight, we shall crawl back to the capital for the fireworks and jolly ranchers. Even Sour, ole faithful Gummy Wyrm pet is starting to look delicious despite it’s lemon flavour.
After some long-haul dungeoning lately; The lab can wait. A 231% Gastronaut sits it its box in mint-condition, far beating the current rusty 130% Detrimentalist model hooked up into power-saving mode. Time to recoup some blue bricks thanks to the celebrations, so that the hunt can continue for more DLC parts. Rune is unsatisfied, and wants a new shiny Scientist medal. Even if it costs his sanity. Some call him mad! They shall see mad! These are dark sciences tangled on puppet strings.
(Decided to support the game today by buying 45 charges. Happy Birthday Godville and thank you for the amazing content!)
Chapter XI 🎈 🍰 21/5/22
12:45 am Today is my birthday, Almighty! I’m ready for something nice.
7:16 am Happy birthday to me! A gift for myself will be this huge chunk of experience and for you I’ll offer this holy powercell, Angry One
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Azrath woke with egg on his face. And flour… and chocolate. Alright, it was the whole cake! And he got to eat it, too! It was a special day. Eight years since his creation and divine subjugation. This year, punishes took the form of hot candle wax. Even the Rune Spectre was in a celebratory mood! It helped that Godville’s anniversary had such an abundance of party supplies left over. (Cheapskate, thought Azrath, whom was immediately met with hot candle wax)
Not to brag.. But today also meant the completion of the 1st rank in Freelancer medal. Clearly he has other priorities than what Rune Spectre wishes. Sizzle
Disappointingly, the two dungeon runs done for the day, led to AFK teams and wipeouts. Rune Spectre sips his tea in spite- The emotion, not the soft drink: can you imagine?! 🤢 Despite (See, what I did there with that segue?) working for most of the day, attention was deserved. The stars were aligned for a glorious tale- which now needs to be made up on the spot because of epic failures on the parts of strangers and personal lives.
So, I want you to imagine the largest beast that you can. A skyscraper with teeth! Maybe some wings and a tail. Lets just say a dragon. Now, along comes a hippy-dippy fluffy white rabbit. Far out, It’s a David V Goliath rehash! He draws a sword; He’s like a mule with a spinning wheel, no one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it. With the pointy end identified and his Mental defense (Shield) raised, those Habit kickers (Legs) came into motion. Chaaarrrggggeee! The Non-stop watch (Talisman) keeping up with tempo.
CHOMP
Ok, that wasn’t Azrath. But the gear was passed onto him.
My bunny knows how to flee. Like the wind. Stale, stale wind. 🌬️
Next time, he’s not getting to blow out the candles 🕯️
07:01 Spent some time eating cucumber sandwiches and daintily drinking tea. I may have looked like an idiot, but at least I restored some of my health.
Such class.
Chapter XII 24/5/22
Alas we find ourselves at a quiet point. The midsection between major milestones and the heroes yellow-bellied antics. The boring stuff. Another quest, check. Another monster slain, check again. Bunch of junk hawked off to unsuspecting traders, double check. Someones trash, is indeed someone else’s treasure.
Slowly, our book is being written (60.6%). The decision to have Azrath tested for learning difficulties was eventually vetoed by the prospect that his hyperactivity is compensating by the ways of bringing in the golden sheep. Success in the spelunking department and an aptitude of malevolence and disembodification is its own reward for such a unique personality. Dont tell me cruelty is just a lifestyle choice!
A Megatribble was defeated today. It’s bloody hoof stands as testimony to the might of The Rune Spectre, whom focused his rage on someone else for a change.
This tea is lovely 🍵 Thought The Rune Spectre. The brew was eerily red, and the steam seemed excessive. Perhaps it’s just a little too wishful thinking that it could be some kind of new herbal blend. I do love boys & berries! harped the God. 🍓
It was at this time that the hero reconsidered all of his life choices. A dark revelation at the sweep of reality. An alignment change imminent, however the influence that the God had was strong and after 8 years, a commitment and blood pact- why stop now? Old habits, but monsters die hard.
It was the cozy compliment to the forewarning of Winter. Frequent downpours, early sunsets and chilly darkness. Roasting a nice Azrath Bunny by a lakeside fire. Marshmallows with gooey centres and the jingle of a wind chime made from an assortment of bones.
There are those that will not survive the season, not without the favour of the Gods!
How to curry favour with The Rune Spectre: (For more, buy the published book when it becomes released)
- Offer curry 🍛 (with flavour🌶️)
- Animal sacrifices include, but not limited to; Tribble, April Fool, Spirit of Halloween, Nachomancer, & Sinfluencer.
Significance is key. Must be timed with Moon phase and special events for maximum satisfaction. No returns!
- Burning of sentimental and holy artifacts; javascripture, obscene constellation chart
- Complete quests of epic proportions in His name
- Call the other gods wimps.
- Spread the Word of The Rune Spectre as published in the Book
- Pet all the Silent Lambs🐑
Chapter XIII Friday, the 13th chapter 11/6/22
Note: This was published on neither a Friday, or a 13th. We just liked the title and couldn’t wait another 7 months for Friday the 13th of January
After a particularly troublesome night, Azrath slammed open the Temple doors, XXX jug in hand and 5 o’clock shadows. He walked out onto the busy streets and became a sight for the morning vendors hurriedly setting up their marquees before peak trading. A wagon abruptly halted in the road out of fear of colliding with the oblivious bunny. A few aptly chosen words bellowed out into the public scene. These laid on deaf, hungover ears.
His queasy belly shook with each step, as he motioned behind a potted plant and nibbled on some of the leaves. The fibre helped him focus. The florist trying to peddle her arrangements, changed her tack to -peddling- pelting Azrath with spare pots.
The clink of shattered ceramics started a trend in plate-breaking. From then on, for a time, restaurant patrons would declare their compliments to the chef by hurling their dinnerware to the floor and demanding “another!” A strange custom which will puzzle historians for generations to come.
Next on his stop of loitering was the job board. An adventurer without a fetch quest was merely just a peasant and he had big aspirations to match those perspirations. Other seekers took a step back and positioned themselves upwind as he sounded out some of the ads. The ones with pictures helped.
The townsfolk took his rare moment of concentration to group up, hoist him into the air and toss him into the harbour. A cake of soap and a crate of tea soon to follow. Ugetcoal (Satan Claus) waved sheepishly from the side of the ship and hurled a black rock from his sack into the water. He is very useless outside of the season. 😒
Azrath climbed out of the sea and shook himself dry. A stray dog was sprayed with the excess water and subsequently shook himself to the displeasure of a tourist standing on the pier.
An issue of the Godville times caught in a breeze and blew into the hero’s face. There’s no escaping the ad algorithm
“The mark of a true hero is their ability to learn to distinguish the small monsters from those that are far away on their first attempt!”
Perhaps it’s time to think about quitting the day job. He was born to be a layabout and it would be nice to have a lawn to tell kids to get off of. He just needs an idea…
And new avenues have been opened to the hero. At the ripe age of 8, he was due for a mid-life crisis. And what does he have to show for it? It was time to get a hobby and explore even more of the outside world. Maybe find someone who can stand to be around him for more than a night. The old haunts just didn’t have the same thrill anymore. The voices in his head, the only companions that he didn’t have to feed. Heck, Boo (Godvilla) only ever showed it’s ugly face when it was nudging an empty bowl towards Azrath.
He hastily wrote a letter of resignation to The Forsakens Lament and after many tears and guilt trips, he handed in his Wretch rank badge. “You’ll be back!” shouted a fist-shaking leader. “They all come crawling back.”
Applications to join the Cult of the Sparkle Pony were sent in and accepted and he began his new internship learning what a brony is and fetching coffee. He’s not into it, but when he reaches Cardinal, watch him whip and watch him neigh neigh up the Careerist achievement a little. The shameless social climbing will be enviable of house wives everywhere.
Hubble bubble, toil and trouble
Azrath’s evil knows no bounds. I would say it was an ungodly experiment, but it was under the heavy supervision of one Rune Spectre. A lot of random junk was thrown into a steaming cauldron. The perfect brew was Azraths goal! Beer was just too expensive now and he was saving for retirement! (73.8%) An entrepreneurial seed had been planted into his mind. He just needed a business plan. Perhaps a recipe. (A recipe for disaster more like).
The foul pungent aroma wafted through the temple as Tige was put on stove duty, breathing a steady fiery breath onto the pot.
The first attempt: A cutting of forget-me-now flowers and sprinkled with a bag of empty promises seemed to create a Pot of strange brew. Tasted terrible. Without the direct Voice of God, crafting was much less than an exact science.
While “researching” at the Godville tavern, Azrath heard that brewing beer involved -yeast- beast (He misheard) and committed to more dungeon exploration to find only the finest ingredients from the toughest treasure beasts. Faithful Sour to sniff out the rooms ahead. The subsequent batches became meaty flavoured. A vegans’ nightmare!
This project was quickly abandoned when one batch started talking back. It was probably for the best. We were denied a liquor license.
The Golden Magikarp has become triple as woodier (296.9%) by this time and has been upgraded to the Red GaryDDoS. Perhaps Azrath’s fondness for sushi can be an industrious endeavour! The vessel could be used for many seafaring adventures: from couriering to fishing. Experience in Dungeon navigating hasn’t quite transferred into the open seas just yet. Bunnies prefer the underground.
10:00 am Nothing lives here. Thought about starting my own fishing company, but the net loss would probably be too high.
Quest: #3600 Go west until it becomes east (epic)
Those roadside traders have always had an enviable freedom. Gypsies dangling along the path adorned with cheap jewellery, and chests of essential goodies. The vagabond life has been a dream of Azrath for years. The gift of gab, the silver tongue.
My hero don’t haggle haggle; he sells. Maybe he can sell doom! The end is nigh and such! A deck of tarot cards to perform & channel the divination that has been focussed on him for so long. Finally become the conduit instead of the lightning rod.
Inspired by the infamous Traveller of Godville, Azrath set off to explore the globe. Touring was hard. Why is the map of Godville a spiral, yet underground dungeons are square grids!? Every region had it’s own design. He wanted to hop barefoot to the edge of the world and spit in the wind. How many more towns can he get kicked out of do you wonder?
How many roads must a Hero walk down, before you can call him a man?
One notable adventure took place in Herolympus, 253 milestones from home. Being Winter, it was incredibly cold and the temperature plummeted the closer Azrath got. You see, the town is on the peak of a mountain. A sign of both ego and prestige. The geezers here looked down at the land below them with contempt for they “got theirs” and have already retired. They took being closer to their gods literally, by establishing their village on the point highest from sea level. So bitten by frost and hungry beasts, Azrath sought sanctuary at the only place nearby radiating what he hoped was just warmth. This didn’t extend to the townspeople in their gated community. Young, smelly heroes with barely a gold to their name don’t belong here. And lucky him, he met all three of the criteria!
The townhall, was a Pantheon with a well-kept sacrificial flame and rocking chairs. He huddled over the fire and waited for dawn. A disorderly reminded him that visiting hours were over but the seasoned warrior was intimidating enough to not be bothered further.
He awoke to a cane prodding him in the gut and generational abuse. “Back in my day” Was shouted so many times it lost meaning.
Skipping out of the temple, he found numerous shrines buried in a thin layer of snow and examined them with respect. He did not know the names of the Gods worshipped here, but knew his one needed a place like this! A pebbled path led to a cave carved into a mountain wall. The mosaic adorned throughout the entrance was exquisite and the deeper he went into the shaft the more steam seeped from within. He worried he’d just wandered into a Dungeon of Hotness but then remembered that heat meant treasure! Quicker, down the rabbit hole he paced!
He was not alone down here. He heard voices before he could see them while cautiously approaching the source. It was then that he saw the horror! Geriatrics skinny-dipping into a hot spring! "Hey, you don’t need the Fountain of Youth!’ Shouted one of the members, shaking a flabby arm from the edge of the stream. A bath would be nice… But not like this! The threatening thought of the man climbing out of the water to chase him nude from the cave was enough motivation to make another swift exit.
Onwards! this time across a bridge along the River Stinks, rickety and traffic-coned.; into a garden of bones left from braver heroes. Foolhardiness prevails!
Azrath somehow ended up at Bad Gateway. Again! And that squirrel looks familiar… 👀 It approached, morphed into a wood nymph, and slapped him across the face. “You said you would call!” She screeched. That’s an adventure best left to the courts.
Some days, all roads lead to Godville. Whatever he chooses, he believes there will be a special place for him right here. (No, not the stocks!) Of course he had to build it himself out of expensive gold bricks, but beggars can’t be gold-plated choosers. We’ll see what the future has in stall… (Maybe he’ll have his very own stall. Right next to that florist- to her pure JOY)
I was working in the lab, late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab, began to rise…
A recipe for disaster 🧟
Passed down from Mother Rune Spectre over her dead body; to be mass produced for all the profits. More secret recipes will be published in the Book (62.3%)
Pre-heat the oven to within 5 steps of the treasure in a dungeon of Hotness.
Stir once for quick results. If you’ve gone stir-crazy, continue until arms fall off.
Remember; presentation is everything. Some pretty petals really accentuate the claws and cursing enriches the flavor.
Fur – Lagviathan (lvl 4)
Horns – Megatribble (lvl 4)
Ear – Oxydjinn (lvl 3)
Eye – Megatribble (lvl 4)
Heart – Spamurai (lvl 4)
Rib – Balrogue (lvl 4)
Fillet- Lagviathan (lvl 4)
Paw – Magnifisaint (lvl 4)
Hoof – Lagviathan (lvl 4)
Tail – Skeletaur (lvl 4)
Here’s one I prepared earlier: A beautiful Oxydjinn with 323% power. We called it -Airwick- Airwish due to copyright issues.
It recieved a shiny silver 2nd rank Scientist medal which we pinned to its display and let everyone who both did and didn’t ask about it know of its prize-winning status.
If you enjoyed this; Check my GodWiki Page for more chapters, images, memes etc. I find it easier to update, navigate and display than this chronicle.
Rune Spectre’s GodWiki
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<3
My Ingenious Ideas 💭
Here is a list of approved idea box suggestions submitted by me. Good to be a part of this awesome game. Look out for them while adventuring!
Artifacts
- Obscene constellation chart
- Javascripture
Quests
- Rattle a few cages (My quest to rattle a few cages is complete. The bird is no more)
Dungeon
- After a lengthy cutscene and dramatic dialogue we find the heroes to the %dir%
- The heroes took a turn for the worse. Which was %dir%
My dream is get to a monster submitted which becomes a dungeon boss.
<3
Commands 📇
- 🎯 Healers, why didn’t you adjust? ⚕️(Meme reference)
- 🥤 This punch tastes terrible 👊 (Attack)
- 🍹 Shaken, not stirred. With an umbrella and crushed ice please! 👊 (Attack)
- 💰 A little praise goes a long way, but I’d rather a raise 🙏 (Pray)
- 👇 Down, down. Prices are down (Enter Dungeon Basement)
- 👠 Click your heals together three times and say “There’s no place like home” ⚕️ (Heal)
- 🕷️ I am the hunter, you are the pray! 🙏(Pray)
<3
Extracts from the Hero’s Personal Diary
Without his Permission, of course
03:44 pm After such a glorious battle with the Double Dragon I could not bring myself to deliver the finishing blow. Instead, he will be my new companion. Come along, Tige, let’s go questing!
Quest #900 (Epic)
13/5/18 09:12 PM I was standing in the sunset, looking across the golden rooftops of Godville, with the breeze ruffling my hair. A passerby called up from the street, “What’s with the epic pose? Did you extinguish the eternal flame, or something?” Well, not yet…
15/5/18 02:02 AM Sealed the eternal flame inside Schrödinger’s box. Now it’s both burning and extinguished.
For completing the epic quest I was complimented, fed and given six logs for the ark and a golden brick as a reward.
19/7/18 05:50 pm Awoke to a rooster crowing “When casting spells, it is efficient to defrost the chicken before sacrificial burning..” Ate the fiend and went back to sleep.
Popular Voices to the masses 🎤
5/5/18 08:56 PM A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “Have an angry God? Keep getting punished? Call 787-2 Bad -You’re stuck with it. Zzzap.” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, Most Righteous One!
15/5/18 07:26 PM A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “It’s just a jump to the left! Oh DAMN! there’s rabbit hole and I fell down and now I’m lost. Bye,.” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, my Lord!
16/5/18 07:46 PM Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “This bootleg T-shirt is better than the official merchandise.”, Mighty One!
17/5/18 03:46 PM Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “Wandering Sages are just herbs wearing capes.”, Almighty!
7/6/18 12:26 PM Great One, you won’t believe this! I’ve just heard a choir singing a song with the words “Your panhandling is envious of many culinary experts. The sage on the other hand, isn’t very wise.” in it. I guess you’re getting famous and godpowerful
18/6/18 01:05 PM Great One, you won’t believe this! I’ve just heard a choir singing a song with the words “The flows of magic are whimsical today.” in it. I guess you’re getting famous and godpowerful!
19/6/18 09:45 am Exalted One, I just became aware that your saying, “Nobody expects the Godville Inquisition!”, is widely spreading around. Sounds like a great prayer to me.
27/6/18 02:06 PM Saw a paper with the headline, “Do 6 impossible things before breakfast?! Done, but the cereal has gotten soggy. :(”, Almighty! You’re front page news!