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Trollbridge

The main feature of the town is a lonely bridge across a shallow, treacherous river in a deep valley. The troll who inhabits a nearby cave sometimes taxes those crossing the bridge, and those who refuse to pay are clubbed to death. This is the origin of the age-old tradition of trolls under bridges.

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Famous Heroes

Jasper-kun 86th-level adventurer, member of the “Knights of the Coffee Table” guild, with the motto “Kami ni inorio!”, stands at the 94th position in the pantheon of Storytellers under the vigilant supervision of the goddess Kei-imouto. He is deeply gratified by his place in the pantheon and is not planning to give it up any time soon.

DANgerzone79 141st-level adventurer, member of the “Asylum” guild, with the motto “My bunny and me இ®”, stands at the 185th position in the pantheon of Duelers under the vigilant supervision of the god DANgerzone79. His worst enemy — a Sir Caustic. Favorite trophy — something that looks like a forget-me-knot. He is also a huge fan of Herolympus’s pubs.

Wanted

An annoying Biological Nightmare has sent us one too many requests to feature him in the newspaper. We guarantee 2900 gold coins for making him stop.

Caught today: 355 pcs.

Feeling bored? Good. We're looking for people with nothing better to do than hunt down every 101 Headed Dalmatian for us. Bring back their hides for a secret reward.

Caught today: 384 pcs.

Guild Spotlight

BattleToads is a guild ranked 34th in the pantheon of Adventure, consisting of 30 heroes and heroines. Members of this guild are often involved in juicy intrigue, and may pass messages by Short-Sighted Visionary.

Don't Panic! is in the 87th position in the pantheon of Duelery, unlikely though it seems. The highest rank here is “vogonpoet”. They are obsessed with Steam-Powered Pleasurebot. The guild's current favorite place to party is “Shepherd's Stuff”.

Guild popularity in

14% — Blue Feather

14% — Knights who say Ni

11% — Guild Name

9% — Scroogers

8% — Ankh-Morpork City Watch

6% — Harvest Moon

5% — Introvert Sanctuary

5% — The Forsakens Lament

2% — Resistance

26% — (other guilds)

Buy and Sell

If you think a slice of good fortune is worthless, think again — Genexolev will buy yours for several times the market value, specially at “Roadside Trader 🤮”.

Found today: 152 pcs.

Those who trade in a constellation prize today will get lots of money (certainly) and a bite of a fresh bun (probably).

Found today: 148 pcs.

Ads

The editorial office of this newspaper kindly invites its employees to attend the workplace.

Don't throw away your trash. Send it to us and we'll print it here.

Do you think your hero spends too much on drinking? We can help him! Homeless Tramps Society.

Daily Forecast

• Today's unusual weather caused premature chakra openings among heroes, which is rumored to increase duration of all auras.

• Meteorologists claim that today's ruthlessly glaring sun could cause mass loss of mind, eyesight or artifacts.

Godpower Cap

4%

Ideabox News

• Interesting fact: 32 ideas were submitted to the Ideabox in the last 24 hours and 28 ideas went into the ER.

• It's reported that The Mighty Stang can improve ideas even with his eyes closed.

• Popular consensus is that Furtive God's genius knows no bounds.

Forum News

17:52 Misunderstood, yet Brilliant Ideas (read first post for FAQ)

17:39 Interesting coincidences

17:29 1 million countdown to retirement (Congrats Tsarczar)

16:47 Count as high as possible!

16:28 Fun word game!

Broken News

• Astrologers from the “A Sip of Coffee” guild reassure us that the future is almost here.

• Mad scientists have discovered that heroes actually choose the blue pill in 50 percent of cases. But since they don’t remember anything afterwards, they never record it in their diaries.

• The number of heroes hoping to put a little life into dying increases every day.

Market Quotes

1 bosscoin

9353 gold coins -13.6%

1 Godville invite

956 gold coins +5.9%