I am Zarra Alice Star, the child of Nymphetamino and Nymphetamineboy… (see their chronicles for the whole back story)… I am a baby and very cute.
01:23 AM Felt the need to write in my diary… Guess this is it. Whoo…
04:28 AM What happened? Where am I? Is this a temple? How did I get here?
04:33 AM Felt life flow back into me like milk into a glass. Now I have a craving for chocolate chip cookies.
04:41 AM Watched a chicken cross the road. I asked why but only got a “cluck” in reply.
03:10 AM Drew a picture of a bipolar bear in a snowstorm for you, Mighty One. I hope you’ll stick it on your holy fridge.
10:29 AM Punched the air. Got winded.
01:21 PM It’s so cold today, even my sock puppet is wearing a sock.
Monsters I have crushed:
01:21 PM Finished off the Wild Balloon Animal with a spectacular combo.
04:45 AM Unsure whether to overestimate my own abilities or underestimate the Playdough Golem’s.
04:47 AM The Playdough Golem claimed to be a great fan of mine. It couldn’t quote any of my diary phrases though, so I killed the liar and was rewarded with an “Act of God” insurance policy.
07:57 AM Tried to intimidate the Full Metal Jackrabbit by staring it down, but I’m not very good at that. Yet another glaring weakness.
07:45 PM Distracted the Evil Monkey with some bubble wrap and fled.
07:50 PM Convinced the Vengeful Mole to play hide-and-seek with me. While it was counting, I quietly crept away.
Equipment I have known and loved:
Head: Milk moustache -2
Legs: Bunny-ear slippers +7
Body: Lead chastity belt +6
Head: Dwarven cap +7
Body: Lead chastity belt +6
Head: Armored dunce cap +8
Arms: Glow bracelets +7
Body: Armor of purity +14
Talisman: Milk tooth of Lao Tzu +11
Body: Grandma’s handmade sweater +18
Legs: Boots of resistance +27
Weapon: Naked gun +28
Talisman: Macaroni necklace +30
Body: Chain-letter mail +31
Legs: WALL-E’s tracks +33
Armor: Personal-space bubble +34
Quests I have MASTERED:
♥ Provide the princess with a good night’s sleep.
♥ Find out where heroes come from.
♥ Say the alphabet backwards while walking in a straight line.
♥ Avoid doing any work.
♥ Find out how to keep a fool occupied for a few hours.
♥ Find out what victory tastes like
♥ Help Little Bo Peep find her sheep
♥ Climb to the top of a family tree
♥ Figure out why the person in the mirror is such a copycat
♥ Banish the night and call it a day
12:05 PM Yearning for some arena fun, spent some time throwing empty bottles at a random passerby.
Battlefield Victories:
12:34 PM Notes from the battlefield: Frottershy is defeated. Silly Parents got 616 gold coins. Silly Parents got a new piece of equipment: cupboard door. Silly Parents put Frottershy’s dog tag, and a golden brick into her bag.
02:48 AM Stacato slammed Silly Parents rashly. Silly Parents easily dodged most of the blow, taking almost no damage.
Svupper is defeated and so it will be with all the others.
Krymp has been defeated and so it will be with all the others.
Andrzejlina has been defeated and so it will be with all the other.
05:18 PM Silly Parents suddenly turned green and increased dramatically in size, before yelling “Silly Parents smash!” and tossing Yoshyosh around like a rag doll.
04:14 AM Kn1ght St0rm smiled cutely and punched his rival in the guts. Silly Parents felt her second wind being replaced with a breeze from a referee’s towel.
Kittymoomoo has been defeated and so it will be with all the others.
02:23 PM Silly Parents thought she saw her life flash before her eyes, but then realized it was a white-hot thunderbolt streaking past her on its way to a scorching landing in the center of Teklogikal’s body.
01:22 PM Silly Parents slapped Bernkastel Furude. It seems that the tooth fairy is going to visit her tonight.
03:41 AM Silly Parents spotted an open window of opportunity and quickly slammed it shut in Deadman Walking’s face.
02:34 PM Lilmama has been defeated. And so it will be with all the others!
10:53 AM Silly Parents stuck a ‘Kick me!’ sticky note onto Kobaya’s back when he wasn’t looking. The crowd gladly followed this suggestion.
07:15 PM Lucius IX blasphemed the opponent’s god. Silly Parents mauled the heretic.
10:34 PM Silly Parents grinned with thrilling vigour as the omnipotent power of her goddess closed her wounds before Light-Illumi’s eyes.
02:34 PM Notes from the arena: Tai follower of fur begs for mercy. Silly Parents definitely fulfilled her goddess’s expectations today! The winner got richer by 1106 gold coins and a golden brick.
10:26 PM ArmadilloXXL was removed from my potential threats list. She will remember not to stand in my way again.
02:26 PM Zarra Alice Star suddenly let loose a toxic cloud over the field. Earthshaker, along with a few observers, were mercilessly choked while Silly Parents cluelessly wondered what all the fuss was about.
03:20 PM Cartsly zigged when she should have zagged, consequently failing to dodge Silly Parents’s blow.
12:38 AM While Jones Jones feebly attempts to convert to the metric system, Silly Parents beats her to within 2.54 centimeters of her life.
08:12 PM Silly Parents tore into Sir Zodrick like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage.
01:51 AM Silly Parents raised her hands to the sky and murmured something unintelligible. Siboire immediately felt the wrath of the heavens rain down on him.
06:56 PM Gankashi was blinded by the sun. Silly Parents helped out by poking her opponent in the eye.
Jasper Cacbay has been defeated. And so it will be with all the others!
12:55 AM Zambam got distracted by something shiny and missed his turn. Silly Parents’s fan puts his pocket mirror away.
04:46 AM Lightning struck the ground, ripping open the grave of an undead hero, who climbed out and gnawed on Richard Danger’s arm. Silly Parents falls to her knees in praise of her mighty goddess.
10:08 PM Notes from the arena: Ganimed begs for mercy. Silly Parents definitely fulfilled her goddess’s expectations today! The winner receives a gold brick and 1018 coins.
03:53 AM Silly Parents bites into her rival’s neck and sucks out Blackadder II’s vitality, smacking her lips.
05:00 PM Silly Parents was so impressed with Catanar’s “acid tears” skill that she bowed out of respect, causing Catanar to miss her entirely.
05:38 PM Obeying the strange voice, Silly Parents carefully aims and throws the broken slinky at Wonder Woman I.
03:10 AM With a savage cry, Silly Parents swatted her enemy with all her might, showing Letiel The Bloody that there is in fact more to fear than fear itself.
07:28 Silly Parents tried to choke Asnanon with her hands, yelling “Why you little!”
07:32 AM Silly Parents wins a heroic staring contest. Nothisistheguy takes dry eye damage.
07:33 AM Silly Parents struck his opponent. Sumayya tottered from the resulting injuries.
05:49 PM Silly Parents told her opponent a bedtime story. While Cougar Tina’s eyes were closed, Silly Parents took a mighty swing at her head.
06:14 PM Encouraged by the support from the stands, Silly Parents threatened to sneeze on her opponent. Giveny1 was so afraid of infection that he turned pale in horror.
11:42 PM Silly Parents shut her eyes tightly and shouted “I can’t see you so you don’t exist!”. Ohforfsake was filled with terrible, existential dread and doubted her own existence.
11:46 PM Silly Parents glanced at her watch and tried not to look bored. Neron1236’s feelings were hurt.
12:17 AM Silly Parents told Gnarf to close his eyes and he’d get a surprise. Gnarf agreed and got a punch in the face.
12:18 AM Silly Parents wins a heroic staring contest. Masha Grey takes dry eye damage.
12:09 AM Silly Parents threw a punch at Amara Aquilla. The bowl broke and the liquid went all over her.
12:11 AM Smiling impudently, Silly Parents made her rival an offer whereby Daeldules could neither refuse nor stay healthy.
05:24 AM Silly Parents bites into her rival’s neck and sucks out Death Reaper2’s vitality, smacking her lips.
05:38 AM This time, Sazerac was too strong. That’s ok, I’ll have my revenge next time.
11:54 PM Silly Parents tried to punch the air but missed, giving Death The 14 a black eye.
Astar pladown has been defeated and so it will be with all the others.
05:25 AM A swarm of insects fell from the sky onto Eater of Locusts, who was severely traumatized by the experience. Silly Parents gleefully filled out a bug report.
03:07 AM Silly Parents glanced at her watch and tried not to look bored. Canga’s feelings were hurt.
06:18 PM Mishkin was removed from my potential threats list. He will remember not to stand in my way again.
12:15 AM Silly Parents jabbed Gray Pierce in the funny bone. Gray Pierce didn’t laugh.
08:06 PM Armeana has been defeated. And so it will be with all the others!
05:26 AM Sazerac pointed behind his enemy’s back and shouted, “Hey look, it’s a Doppelgangster!” As Silly Parents looked over her shoulder, she was rewarded with a moderate hit on the head… the fight resulted in a tie.
One day my goddess wasn’t paying attention, then I got into a fight with Ohforfsake and he won…
04:39 PM Nitroglycerin used her fearsome “teeth gnashing” skill on Silly Parents. Strange, but it was super-effective!
12:14 PM Silly Parents tried to use her “spontaneous combustion” skill, but ended up twisting herself into a pretzel. Kaylen Zephire laughed so hard she cracked a rib.
Spock A Volcan has been defeated and so will all the others.
12:16 AM Looks like Jeremy Jettson suddenly had severe lag, so Silly Parents tried to hit him as many times as possible.
03:52 PM Silly Parents threw sticks and stones at Django Unchained since words failed to cause any damage.
04:50 AM Silly Parents showed Ceruman the nutritional value of eating dirt.
04:03 AM Murnenator declared a time out. Silly Parents promptly responded by smashing a clock on Murnenator’s head.
02:17 AM Razmerella is defeated and so it will be with all the others.
Smart has been defeated and so it will be will all the others.
10:44 PM Silly Parents spotted an open window of opportunity and quickly slammed it shut in Xena Warrior Prince’s face.
01:11 PM Silly Parents sadly noted the pieces of her shattered confidence after the last attack, then grabbed a sharp one and without warning brutally stabbed Merou.
02:34 AM Charlotte Jaeger has been defeated. And so it will be with all the others!
01:10 AM Silly Parents blinded Airskape with science and took advantage of the situation.
06:43 PM Silly Parents tore into The Dud Dude like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage.
07:49 PM Silly Parents struck her opponent. Kite44 tottered from the resulting injuries.
05:03 AM Silly Parents slashed at her enemy. Orion Pax responded with an impolite remark.
12:51 PM Silly Parents threw a punch at Ra-El. The bowl broke and the liquid went all over him.
11:31 AM Silly Parents offered Angia a page from her diary to read, only to pull it back at the last moment, causing a really painful paper cut.
04:43 PM Silly Parents struck her rival’s jaw with all her might. Shaedo rocked on his heels.
08:50 PM The heroes agreed not to hit each other below the belt. Part-time Model wore his belt as a crown. Silly Parents flipped him upside down, and punched some health out of his entire body.
08:30 PM Silly Parents tore into Percbeth like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage.
01:37 PM Sinfully Seductive blew and pulled out Silly Parents’s eyelashes.
01:46 AM Silly Parents leaned forward and produced a shiny gold coin from behind Aja69’s left ear. Aja69 was so astonished that she bit her own tongue.
Lucen has been defeated and so it will be with all the rest.
MiniGrubb has been smoted.
06:25 PM Silly Parents ran into her opponent as hard as she could. Slartibartfast77 almost fell to his knees.
10:35 AM Silly Parents introduced her weapon to Daisy Wigglesworth’s face.
11:08 PM Silly Parents introduced her weapon to Terentus’s face.
07:30 PM Macabre Farmer has been defeated. And so it will be with all the others!
12:15 AM Silly Parents tried to choke Carhana Serpentine with her hands, yelling “Why you little!”
03:33 AM Silly Parents suddenly turned green and increased dramatically in size, before yelling “Silly Parents smash!” and tossing Massacre4 around like a rag doll.
Item I have acquired and enjoyed
Hand in a cookie-jar
Blank birth certificate
05:46 PM Spent several minutes staring at the offshore piggy bank. Nothing happened.
12:14 PM Found a floating bottle with a message inside that read ‘examine Unnecessary-hyphen.’ Odd, considering I was nowhere near any bodies of water. Great One, was that your doing?
02:31 PM Spent several minutes staring at the family tree seed. Nothing happened.
π-sided die
Personal milestone
Friends I have crushed:
Nymphetamino (Nymba) Nymphetaminegirl (Nymphetamine)
Looking far out into the distance and seeing hope…
Mastering the arts of lounging and idling about…
Silently mouthing benedictions…
05:05 AM Started fighting a dark presence… And then I realized it was just my shadow.
09:17 PM Must. Resist. The. Urge. To. Cry.
01:26 AM A silly yellow bear gave me a hug, restoring several pixels of my health.
11:19 PM Rested. Now it’s time to get back to business.
09:21 PM A witch claimed that she could curse me to speak in rhymes forever. Old lady thinks she’s so clever. But I know better. Whatever.
05:09 AM A grandfatherly old hero resting by the road found a gold coin in my ear! No wonder I didn’t hear that last monster coming.
05:55 AM Spent a few hours at a roadside tavern, and stunned the locals with a stirring rendition of ‘My Little Buttercup’.
12:11 PM I can’t sleep, Almighty. Can I please have a glass of water? And could you read me a story? And I need another blanket, because this one is too itchy.
02:02 AM Lightning bolts streaked across the sky and burned “Silly Parents was here!” into the hillside. Impressive. Not very useful, but impressive.
12:48 PM I was told some of the greatest ideas were first written on bar napkins, so I’m off to the bar to find some great ideas.
06:30 PM Found the goose that laid the golden eggs. It was delicious.
11:18 PM It is indubitable, my Lady, that I have no need for theoretical sciences, such as math. Yet, I have an exponential need for understanding the physical sciences, such as the motion of liquids. To the tavern!
09:39 PM Everyone should do their best, which, hopefully, will allow me to get by without doing much of anything.
09:57 PM Left the doctor’s office with a band-aid and a big lollipop. Now back to business.