Born to a lowly drunken hooker, and an eccentric thief. Raised by wolves and accepted as one of them after he won a pissing contest with the alpha male. After getting captured by some hunters, he was taken as a prisoner and made a slave until he escaped with the help of a Great White Wolf. The Great White Wolf Lead him to a cave where he hid from his captors. Inside the cave was small altar of sacrifice. Kaniball used it as a make shift bed and made the cave his temporary home. Every night as he slept he dreamed of great hunts in the wild with a small pack of wolves. The largest and oldest wolf in the pack was named WaKKO151. He would lead the pack on great adventures and always seem to get them out of trouble in the nick of time and they never wanted for anything. One Night while Kaniball was sleeping He Awoke to see the Great White Wolf Standing in the cave entrance. The Great White Wolf he now recognized as the splitting image of the Alpha Wolf of his dreams known as WaKKO151, although he looked much younger in real life then he appeared to be in his Dreams. The Great White Wolf, Stood up on Two legs and became a naked man with a huge battle axe. He walked over to the sacrificial Altar and smiled. WaKKO151 picked the axe high above his head and said “Kill or Be Killed” and then swung the axe deep into his chest.
Kaniball woke up screaming. He felt his chest and there was a new scar the size of the battle axe from his dream. It was then that Kaniball knew he had been chosen by a God to form his own pack and spread WaKKO151’s message of “Kill or Be Killed”
Act 1
Kaniball began his journey by learning the language his God Spoke. It was an ancient dialect called Ebonics. Apparently not as popular as Russian and lost to the ages. Kaniball’s life quickly became a series of messed up events on the road and shady traders, along with waking up in a lot of crazy places drunk as a dwarf. He quickly learned that WaKKO151 would resurrect him if he died he began to feel invincible. He went around talking crap to everyone he met. He became cold and reserved. People started to dislike him. His God noticed this and became upset. WaKKO151 was a nice guy and he felt like his Champion was not getting the point. So of course he punished him. Over and Over again. Kaniball’s life became a living hell. Every turn was met with monsters and giant fireballs, lightbolts landing right near him or even hitting him. This made Kaniball very bitter. He was sad and scared all the time. And now people in towns began to fear him. A lonely road indeed.
Turned out this road is not as lonely as previously thought. Kaniball met a ton of great guys, and he killed them and took all there stuff. They were pretty upset about it. But he didn’t care. WaKKO151 looked down from the heavens with pride as Kaniball killed 5 very nice guys. Then Kaniball met Vey. She was different then the other heroes. She was… really mean. While he was introducing himself she was picking his pocket and stabbing him in the back. And when he tried to steal his money back they ended up fighting it out. He won by a hair. But then noticed that he was bald. Vey had shaved his head and stole an artifact from him. Finally some fun. He found out the she was a member of the Harvest Moon Guild and decided he would try to join to learn more about his rival.
12:10 11/14/2012 On the way back to town, I saw Lady Hash fighting a Faux Hawk. I waved, and the monster waved back. Awkward.
Heard some other heroes talking about getting stuck in walls and skipping milestones. I’m not too bothered. I’ve got 99 problems but a glitch ain’t one.04:45 Trollbridge is nearby. Very nice, I need to rest. 04:46 Told my guildmates to shove it: I was going to see the doctor first. Now I have even more wounds for the doctor to heal. 04:48 I’m trying to take a bath right now, my Lord, so please stop peeking. 04:53 The guild doctor transplanted an Encryption Keeper’s liver in place of my own. Can’t wait to test it out in the local tavern! 04:57 Dropped by my guild’s estate and was rewarded with a root of all evil as the 1000th visitor. 04:57 Had a good rest. 05:03 Pleasantly surprised that my root of all evil was worth 256 gold coins. If only they grew on trees… 05:04 The merchant chased me out of his shop, frantically spraying air freshener in my wake. 05:07 I heard someone shouting from the trader’s hut: ’I’m working all the time, it makes me sad.’ (➠) 05:09 They had nothing in my size. I’m so angry.
11:16 Shikaichi tried to blind the enemy with a snow-white smile. Unfortunately, yellow snow is not very blinding.
04:57 Found a mini-quest on a bulletin board: help an angel earn its wings. Good time for a side job, I guess! 05:01 Apparently, pain hurts. Who would have thought? 05:02 The final score of that match was Kaniball – 1, Rain Deer – 0. Received 4 coins as a match fee and was awarded a Fibonacci sequencer as a winner’s trophy. 05:03 This Surreal Killer may be a little moody, but its heart is in the right place. Or at least it was, before I moved it quite abruptly to a very wrong place. Collected a peer pressure valve and 24 gold coins for my trouble. 05:04 A vile and filthy Surreal Killer is robbing the golden brick caravan! I’d better run away… 05:08 Abracadabra! The Thin Client was vanquished and turned into a no-leaf clover and 41 coins. 05:08 Based upon my precise calculations, we should be nearing our goal. Based on everyone else’s gut-feeling, we are hopelessly lost. 05:08 I helped an angel earn her wings. It put a smile on everyone’s faces. 05:08 Easily managed to help an angel earn its wings and got an angel’s feather as a reward. Hooray! The mini-quest has been completed! 05:09 Huh, to help an angel earn its wings wasn’t the last task of the quest! Now I have to find where angels fear to tread. 05:13 Sacrificed the Ballpoint Penguin to the Almighty One at an altar I found in the wilderness. 05:13 Oh, Pathway of Lemmings… It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be, and I don’t like the way that Minitaur is grinning at me. I’d better get moving. Fast. 05:19 The Cod of War was gloriously torn to pieces! While rifling through its remains, I found Excalibur’s stone. It will need a good wash before I can sell it. 05:19 Heard a tree fall in the forest when nobody was around. 05:19 Found it. Time to rush in. 05:19 Easily managed to find where angels fear to tread and got an invite to hell as a reward. Hooray! The mini-quest has been completed! 05:19 Huh, to find where angels fear to tread wasn’t the last task of the quest! Now I have to calculate a snowball’s chance in hell. Let’s see who’ll have the last laugh. 05:21 The Rejected Monster was set on fire by a thunderbolt from the skies. Great One, you are so wise! 05:21 Punched the Rejected Monster so hard it coughed up a holy smoke generator and died. 05:23 Suddenly got hit on the knee. That really hurts, you know. 05:25 The Snow Angel was gloriously torn to pieces! While rifling through its remains, I found a worst case scenario. It will need a good wash before I can sell it. 05:28 Distracted the Photocopycat with my amazing dance moves. While it was busy clapping, I slipped away. 05:28 A goofy looking man with a stew pot on his head whispered to me: ‘Pick me up a latte while you’re down there, won’t you?’ Is he a member of some kind of secret society? (➠) 05:31 Fighting the Prancing Pony is the closest I’ve been to anyone since my last relationship. 05:31 I never chose to be a hero, but I can’t remember being anything else. 05:32 Easily managed to calculate a snowball’s chance in hell and got a pair of wet pants as a reward. Hooray! The mini-quest has been completed! 05:32 Shiver me timbers, to calculate a snowball’s chance in hell wasn’t the last task of the quest! Now I have to die another day. Hope this task is the last one. 05:33 Lightning struck a nearby tree. What was your target, Great One? 05:33 Told the Blind Watchman that my friends will miss my silly antics when I’m gone. It felt guilty and let me go. 05:38 With one clean blow, the Flying Spaghetti Monster was sent on its final journey. I searched the surrounding area and found 16 gold coins and a golden eye. 05:38 Found a crashed whale in an open field. Got lost in thought. 05:39 I asked the Generic Enemy if we could agree to a peace treaty. While it was laughing at my idea, I slipped away. 05:40 I don’t understand how some people lose their motivation to exercise. This Wall Dog sure motivates me to start running! 05:40 This mini-quest seems to be harder than I thought. Better stop now before it’s not too late. 05:42 I never chose to be a hero, but I can’t remember being anything else. 05:48 I suppose this is a good place to save the world in the nearby village. Let’s go! 05:48 Greatly decreased travel time by using my “asynchronous swimming” skill. 05:49 I’m just going to copy and paste some previous entries. Hopefully the Almighty won’t blast me from the sky. 05:50 I’m back in town! Home sweet home! 05:51 Showed the doctor my “Harvest Moon” membership card and got a handful of pills for just 99 coins. 05:54 Calvin The Great gave me a potent placebo for my hypochondria. At last, someone takes me seriously! 05:43 I feel like someone is stalking me… Wait, it’s just my shadow.