03.25.12 18:24: Quest to find the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything has been completed! Received some experience and a wish for good luck.
07.03.12 17:14: A quest to find the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything has brought me a very nice reward of 24333 coins right into my pocket! Hope I won’t lose it on my way back…
10.29.12 12:04: Nice beard of epicness! This thing will look great on me.
11.05.12 19:17: Found a package with the label “BACON” on it. Ate it without question.
11.27.12 00:14: The mayor of Godville suddenly started choking during a public ceremony. I leapt from the crowd, yelled out ‘Not on ’Blue Feather’s watch!’ and performed the Heimlich maneuver until the mayor coughed up a leprechaun and started to breathe again. They’ll remember our guild around here, that’s for sure.
♪ I’ve been digging by the milestones, all the live long day. I’ve been digging by the milestones, just to pass the time away. Can’t you hear the monsters growling? Rise up so early in the morn’. Can’t you hear the monsters growling? Stitch blow your horn! ♪
04.17.13 11:44: I was concentrating so hard on all the reasons I want to live that I forgot to breathe. I hope you’re happy, Almighty.
04.19.13 07:59: Carefully placed the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all doors, and cut the ribbon in a stately manner with my sword. I can’t believe it’s finally happened! After all these months of work, the temple in your name is finished, my Lord! I feel crazy with happiness.
04.29.13 22:22: My Lord, don’t rush me on completing my quest. I’m making mistakes as fast as I can.
05.01.13 23:40: Dug a hole. Found some beer! This is the best day ever, Most Righteous One!
07.22.13 14:38: Felt a burning desire to disassemble the box with a question mark. Found inside something unbelievable — a scroll with instructions on how to get a premature level up!
10.19.13 01:08: As thunder rumbled and lightning split the sky, Stitch began to shine with a glorious and terrifying light. Great One, why can’t leveling up be this impressive for me?
05.03.15 00:40: A log! A thousandth log! I’m even ready for a flood now. Not that I’m asking for it, Mighty One.
After managing to hitchhike to the other side of the galaxy so quickly, I’ve got a pile of wooden ark planks and 7374 coins as a bonus.
10.13.17 10.24: Successfully filled out all squares on the daily Bingo.
10.28.17 05:56: Luminous One, I just re-counted the pairs and I think the ark now has a thousand of them. We’re not going to cram another thousand in there, do we?
01.11.18 14:06: You were 1-st to solve the crossword today!
01.15.18 22:04: It’s alive… It’s alive, it’s moving, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, IT’S ALIVE!
02.05.18 10:44: Couldn’t find the enlightening bolt, awkward silence generator, flying fish feather, flask of living water and “Post Mortem Communication for Dummies” book in my inventory, but found 20000 gold coins instead. Bingo!
02.17.18 19:38: I’m now ever so slightly closer to my retirement. I may have spent 3670 gold coins at “Molotov’s Cocktail Bar” instead of saving it, but all that beer has aged me considerably.
07.24.18 20:07: Wahoowa tries to influence having forgotten his own decision not to do so.
08.29.18 15:05: Yesterday’s Results – 1. Wahoowa (67)
10.06.18 22:13: Set new personal record for most gold on hero – 83784 coins.
Smokingoak — 115th-level adventurer, member of the “Blue Feather” guild, stands at the 75th position in the pantheon of might under the vigilant supervision of the god Wahoowa. He thinks that a Desperate House Elf slow roasted in its own juices is one of the finest delicacies that Last Resort has to offer.