In the Beginning:
Day1 Everything went well. I was created, I fought monsters. I got gold and treasures. I drank beer. I completed a quest.
Day2 Everything went well. I fought some monsters. I hid from some monsters. I got gold and treasure. I drank beer and completed 2 quest. My goddess,I am lonely. Do you think it is my holey sock and mud coating armour?
Day3 I now have a gold brick for a temple to my Goddess. I love my Goddess. I died and was miraculously was resurerected. Completed quest 4, and I got another gold brick for my Goddess’s temple. I bought some new armour. I am hoping it might help with the ladies.
Day4 Completed quest 5. Had my first battle in the areana. That was not a good idea at this time, my Goddess. Fought monsters, drank beer, and prayed to my Goddess.
Day 5 Completed 3 more quest. Fought monsters, found treasure and riches. Bartered with merchants. Drank beer and prayed to my Goddess. I upgraded my armour. Maybe now the ladies will talk to me.
Day 6 I was sent to the arena again, today. I lost again. I thought I was stronger than that. What will it take to win. The ladies love the winner.
Day7 I found a friend for my Goddess. I fought monsters, found treasure and got gold. I was sent to the arena again. This time I won. Life is good.
Day8 I have reached level 12 on quest 12. Is this suppose to mean something? Well, well well. I HAD A DATE!! WOOO HOOO!! Took a turn at the arena. You win some, you lose some.
Day9 My equipment choices are improving. I think my Goddess approves. Quest 14 is to join The Fairy Tail guild. I understand this can take several days.
Day10 The Goddess has a hangover. The Hero is left to his own devices. Died for the first time. So this is what the afterlife feels like.
Day11 Still on the quest to join the Fairy Tail guild. Still on level 12. I don’t think I want to be good anymore. I hide or run away too often. I am a wimp. A wimp in a coconut bra. I need new body armor.
Day12 I was admitted to the Fairy Tail guild. On to the next quest. My Goddess keeps telling me to protect my body. A coconut bra is very tough. I like my coconut bra.
Day 13 I got new body armor. I hope my Goddess likes this Fish Scale armor.
Day 14 Upgraded my armor, fought some monsters, made some friends, made some enemies, drank some beer. All in all a good day.
Day 15 Had a bad luck day. It is a good thing my Goddess is watching over me. Still I completed a quest and gained a new level.
Day 16 At least I didn’t die today.
Day 17 I think my Goddess needs some new strategies for helping me in the arena. I lost another fight today. It’s good to be good right?
Day 18 It is Good to be Good, right? That will be my new motto. It does fit me I think.
Some time later I have aquired a new skill. Strike of the Rabbit. May it serve me well.
The next day You know, Almighty, those other gods I keep hearing about are starting to sound a lot more reasonable than you. “I am the Goddess Vickie J 88! Praise Me!”
Day 26 I like my guild. Viva Fairy Tails!
Day 28 Beer is proof my goddess loves me and wants me to be happy.
And the next day Tattooed ‘I got Skills!!’ on my butt cheek. Nice.
After about a month I reached level 18. Now I could get a pet. I got a Sun Dog after about 2 hours. How cool is that? Sooba! A Sun Dog. I hope my Goddess likes pets.
Nothing to report today. I’ve been bitten, scratched, punched, kicked, and severely wounded. In short, business as usual.
At about 4 months I think I should choose a new motto Tengo Habilidades!!……..I got Skills!!…….Tengo Habilidades!! Okay, same thing just a different way of saying it.
Day 8 Well, well well. I HAD A DATE!! WOOO HOOO!!
Trying some pick-up lines, but having drinks tossed in his face instead…
Had a hot date last night, or at least I think I did. I can’t remember a thing, but 177 coins are missing from my wallet, so it must have been pretty awesome!
Thought that maybe I should try dating some fellow adventurers. Trouble is, they all seem to be too busy writing in their diaries. I am such a romantic.
I tried to engage the Reverse Psychologist, but broke things off when it insisted I meet its parents first.
Tried to find a date. Then realized that I was looking at last year’s calendar.
My invite to Godville floated out of my artifact sack, and, in a brilliant flash of light, disappeared, blinding several bystanders. It appears the Almighty One has heard my pleas for companionship!
I stood victoriously upon the misshapen corpse of the Migrating Heart Attacker. By the way, Almighty, could you send a few attractive looking enemies my way?
Asked a vampire out for a date but she said I’m not her blood type.
Friends and random Heros:
Diosa Odefierous suddenly rushed past me, barked “Hi”, and finished off the Devil’s Advocate. I’d better make more friends, it seems they can come in handy sometimes.
Found a figment of Diosa Odefierous’s imagination… She may need a good therapist!
Exchanging tips on monsters with Diosa Odefierous…
Saw a tree that had a heart etched into it with ‘Movic + Diosa Odefierous’ inside of it. Hmm… I think Diosa Odefierous might be confused about the depth of our relationship. But she’s my sister. Ewwwe.
As I walked past a graveyard, a sinister hand suddenly thrust out of the earth. Thought it was a zombie rising from the dead, but turns out it was just Diosa Odefierous being resurrected.
Decided to take a short rest in a nearby cave. Scratched on one of the walls was written, ‘Zapwizard was here’. Made my own mark beneath.
Met Zapwizard today. We traded stories of our near-death experiences. It’s amazing how many ways a hero can die. Better listen to him, he has nearly died many times.
Met Zapwizard in the shop looking for a purchase. He gave me some tips on how to dress. Apparently I look much better with the new poker face!
Met Fengran as we were walking from milestone to milestone. He worships a false god, but otherwise seems to be a decent sort of chap. I shall pray for his soul.
Vroomfondel Jr suddenly rushed past me, finished off the Evil Overlord, gave me a jaunty wave and disappeared into the woods. Thanks!
Heard someone shouting “Die, Rdrgzx!” in the distance. I rushed to the rescue, but it turned out to be a Higgs Bison brutally smashing a scarecrow. I guess monsters need to practice too.
What a surprise! Spider Monkey stopped by to visit me. We talked over a few drinks of iodine solution.
Met Werewolf Archer, and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health.
My invite to Godville floated out of my artifact sack, and, in a brilliant flash of light, disappeared, blinding several bystanders. It appears the Almighty One has heard my pleas for companionship! Yes I did enter this twice. I counts in both categories.
Met Bogore, and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health.
I bought the whole town a bunch of drinks. It only cost 349 coins! What a bargain. I just wish I could remember it. (Okay so it was only getting drunk but I think it fits here.)
Met PixiBuni on the roadside. She has such great equipment, and I have just this crappy outfit. Bad luck?
After about 4 months: I am on the Pantheon of Storytellers. Debut at #1 Woo Hoo! Thank you very much!
A mysterious voice whispered gently in my ear: ‘Heal! Where’s the Duck Tape?‘Sorry Almighty, I’m just admiring my places in the pantheons at the moment and can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
As I walked half-starving into a small hamlet, the villagers offered me a bottle of diet water to ward off the monster they’d heard growling in the woods. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that was just my stomach.
Absolutely no one to fight with. What a pity… Anyway, teleportation to the city was nice.
Ovaries happened to be standing next to me in the shop, and prevented the trader from cheating me. It’s good to have friends.
For my Guild
Flight of the Dragon
Found someone who allowed me to join “Flight of the Dragon”. Hi, fellows!
I was trying to spread the word at Godville’s main square, informing the people about my guild, when suddenly thunder boomed and amplified my voice a hundredfold. People here are going to remember the “Flight of the Dragon” guild for a long time.
Asked the guild’s doctor for medicine. He said that they have limited supplies for newbies and handed me a couple of buns smeared in iodine solution.
Tried to sneak into the guild’s clinic for free treatment, but the doctors said that they don’t treat newbies. Had to give them some cash in order to alleviate my suffering.
Was arrogantly shoved aside by some guild old-timer while waiting in line for the doctor.
Changing guilds is hard. My Goddess will I level up soon?
Taking credit for anonymous guild donations…(earthly news)
In Beerburg: As the earth shook, a statue of the leader of “Flight of the Dragon” guild suddenly appeared in the market square. For some reason it was clad in a pink feathered boa. Surely the villagers will talk about this for a long time.
A special edition of the Godville Times landed on my doorstep with the headline, ‘Join the Ganja Smokers Local 420 Guild.’ In related news, my doorstep appeared out of nowhere.
I guess I’ll never figure out how to become the 169th member of the guild “Holy Pwnies”. Whatever. I’ll find something else to do.
Trollbridge: Against all odds, the front page of every newspaper in town turned into a Flight of the Dragon advertisement. My guild is definitely going to gain more influence here.
A learned priest suddenly realized that the sacred inscription on the ancient monolith in Monsterdam town square was actually an anagram of “Flight of the Dragon”! I made sure to spread the amazing news in all the local taverns.
In my dreams:
I’ve seen things people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. And all those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain… Time to wake up.
I woke up in a cold sweat. Had a nightmare that my life was someone else’s game…
I had a strange dream – a zombie wanted to eat my brains. It lumbered over, knocked on my head a few times, then mumbled something in disappointment and walked away. Weird.
I had a strange dream last night, Most Righteous One. You were peeking at my diary, chuckling to yourself while munching on chips. I hope that’s not true.
I woke up this morning and found a crashed meteor by my campfire. Was that a near-miss or a close-save, Mighty One?
Had a dream where I jumped over the world and met you, my Lady. When I woke up I felt much better!
Rested and dreamt of a better tomorrow, when chickens can cross the road without being questioned about their motives.
I going crazy
I told the healer I hear voices in my head telling me to do things. For some reason he nodded wisely and gave me some medications.
The voices in my head are telling me to do things. Is that you Almighty or did I forget to take my medicine?
The town doctor told me that I was emotionally unstable. Punched him in the face, then huddled on the ground to cry.
There was a full moon last night. All that moonlight was a bit eerie, but after howling for a while with Sooba I felt much better.
Standing at the rim of a deep well, I felt an insidious urge to kick someone into it. Madness.
I know you’re real, Almighty. You shout louder than all the other voices in my head.
Almost went crazy trying to catch a strange moving red dot.
There was a full moon last night. All that moonlight was a bit eerie, but after howling for a while with Pinky I felt much better.
Found the body of a dead adventurer by the side of the road. Oh, it’s mine! (Hallucinogens in the outer lands, milestone 350 ?)
I found my name carved into a tree in a heart with an arrow through it. I think someone is planning on killing me.
Was abducted by aliens looking for intelligent life forms. Promptly sent back.
Strange thoughts filled my head, and I suddenly felt compelled to finish unfinished business. My Goddess, was that your doing?
Strange thoughts filled my head, and I suddenly felt compelled to spread blasphemies about all false gods. My Goddess, was that your doing?
Gave a tree a hug today, she smiled at me as I walked away… She likes hugs. (Okay, I’ve really lost it now).
Exalted One, I think all these head injuries I’m getting from fighting are making me lose my short term memory. I also think all these head injuries I’m getting from fighting are making me lose my short term memory.
Mighty One, I have so many issues I’m seriously considering a subscription.
Tasted a new batch of random potions at the local alchemist’s.
I’ve realized that I have a serious drinking problem… There isn’t a tavern around for miles.
08:19: Darned Battle Toad casted a contusion aura and died. I’m feeling weird… That is a new one on me. 08:34: Darned aura of contusion is finally over. I can now start being smart again!
At first I was concerned about brain damage due to this constant fights, but luckily, the doctor said I’ll never have to worry about that particular problem.
Suddenly, I banged my head against thick air. It’s like there’s an invisible wall… or was it just my imagination? (milestone 166 normal quest)
The physician hinted we may suffer from multiple personality disorder, but didn’t say which one of us.
Paid 305 gold coins to a psychiatrist to talk over my compulsive urge to kill monsters.
The voices in my head keep telling me not to listen to the voices in my head.
Strange thoughts filled my head, and I suddenly felt compelled to keep ’em on their toes. My Goddess, was that your doing?
An inner voice started to croon something nasty in my head. Hey, not this song again! This is encouragement?
The voices in my head keep telling me not to listen to the voices in my head.
Told the bartender at “Shepherd’s Stuff” that I sometimes hear what sounds like loud cursing from the heavens after I spend money. Bought 13 coins worth of beer trying to prove it to him.
Tattooed ‘I got Skills!!’ on my butt cheek. Nice.(Goddesses all time favorite).
Waiting for a blue moon…Opened a bottle hoping to find a genie. Found some booze instead. Wish granted.
By my calculations, my Goddess, I spent 89 percent of my money on beer. The rest I absolutely wasted.
I may not be the best worshiper, Mighty One, but I’m the best one worshipping you.
I entered the gates of Last Resort and stumbled upon a sign. It said ‘We don’t have a village idiot, we all take turns.’
Tattooed ‘Tengo habilidades!!’ on my butt cheek. Nice. If I keep this up, I will run out of room on my butt cheeks.
Painted a bright yellow smily face on a milestone. Look Exalted One, a smilestone!
The Inside Joker fell beneath the relentless blows of my weapon. Are you watching, Soul Supreme? Monsters are dying down here in your honor, you know.
Ate. Prayed. Killed something. Why is my life so boring, Great One? A voice from the skies shouted: ‘Your faith will be tested but you are worthy.’ Funny.
Too many large tablets, burning bushes and word-shaped clouds… I may be on the trail of a hero whose god takes all this way too seriously. I’m going the other way.
Technically, can I ever be lost if I never have a destination in mind?
Agreed to race a tortoise, but lost horribly. It wasn’t my fault, Exalted One. There was a hare sleeping under the tree and it was just in time for dinner.
‘Watch where you tread!’ the monster said. He hit my head; I may have bled. I turned and fled. My face is red, but I’m not dead
I told the Weakest Lynx that my goddess will be lonely if I got killed by it. The Weakest Lynx was touched and let me go. My Goddess loves me and wants me to be happy. I think I will have a beer.
A wandering minstrel told me ‘only the good die young’. I must be really good then, Mighty One!
A monk asked me what I thought about vanity. I told him that when you look as good as me, you don’t have to think.
Heard someone yelling, ‘Oh God!’ over and over from behind a bush. I wish I was that religious, Almighty.
The ground trembled and there was a blinding flash. When my eyes recovered, a huge billboard towered by the side of the road reading “Your Goddess is Always With You!”. I know I asked for a sign, but this isn’t what I meant.
Saw a dead hero on the side of the road with the words “You should have listened to me” tattooed on his forehead. Forgive me for all the times I told you to shut up, Great One.
LOL 22:22: I hear you, my Lady, say no more. No, seriously, hush. After hearing a god voice.
My Goddess is having fun with this Quest #363 Replace this quest with a different one (13%) I am hearing Goddess voices from his previous quest.
The Godvilla swore it would bring my mortality to an abrupt conclusion. I don’t really know what that means, but I’ll die before I let it happen!
Saw a paper with the headline, ‘Your coconut bra was a fashion revolution. You’re beautiful, my hero.‘, Soul Supreme! You’re front page news!
Found 296 gold coins in a pot near the construction site. Imagine how much I’ll get when my temple has a roof! 19.7%
Mighty One, what is it with your obsession with shiny temples? Does my love not suffice you? 21.3%
I was sitting by the road counting my money when a lightning bolt struck the ground right next to me, melting the gold into a gold brick. 25%
Are you sure you want gold bricks, Great One? Look at these lovely copper bricks: less expensive, and they even turn a pretty green after it rains.
1/17/13 4:53 AM. Carefully placed the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all doors, and cut the ribbon in a stately manner with my sword. I can’t believe it’s finally happened! After all these months of work, the temple in your name is finished, my Lady! I feel crazy with happiness. What do I do now?
Notes from arena battle: The fight was a tie and its results will not be registered in the history. Datman was selected as the nominal winner. The winner receives a gold brick and 815 coins. As a sign of heroic solidarity, the winner returned 219 gold coins to his rival for buying medicine. I can’t even buy a win. DARN!
Notes from arena battle: The fight was a tie and its results will not be registered in the history. Movic was selected as the nominal winner. The winner got richer by 1803 gold coins and a golden brick. Two ties in a row. At least this time I got the coin toss.
My First Pet
The Sun Dog:
I reached level 18. Now I could get a pet. I got a Sun Dog after about 2 hours. How cool is that? Sooba! A Sun Dog. I hope my Goddess likes pets.
Sooba fetched a dead rat from somewhere and proudly laid it at my feet. What is this? A sacrifice? A voice from the skies thundered: ‘The Sun Dog is a very good pet.’ Nice. A bush near me just burst into flames and the flames spelled: ‘Kill it. Clean it. After that it is all in the sauce.’ Finally, a campfire! I think my Goddess likes my pet.
The Reanimated Sprite raised its hand for a deadly final strike against me, when Sooba suddenly threw himself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. Sooba quietly heaved his last breath under the weight of the monster’s carcass. Oh, my Lady, why? He was so young… My Goddess is trying to get me to revive my pet with commands. We will see how that goes. I need at least 3600 gold coins first.
I did it! Scraped together 3612 gold coins and managed to persuade the priests to revive my pet. Oh, Sooba, I’ve missed you so much!
My Sun Dog loves the Goddess too. Sooba tossed 7 gold coins into the donations cup. I wonder where he got that money? Oh well, it’s not important. To your glory, my Lady!
Paid 0 coins to the veterinarian for a routine pet checkup. The vet said that Sooba will live a long and healthy life. What do I expect for nothing? Prayed to my Goddess and had nothing to offer. I am so broke I can’t even pay attention. My Goddess do something!!
Did I just see Sooba rushing at the monster croaking “I got Skills!!!?”
For the second time. The Thirteenth Apostate raised its hand for a deadly final strike against me, when Sooba suddenly threw himself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. Sooba quietly heaved his last breath under the weight of the monster’s carcass. Oh, my Lady, why? He was so young…
Lost the last hope of resurrecting my pet. Good bye, Sooba. I promise to find a new best friend in your memory!
Viva Fairy Tail guild!
Hmm… Monsterdam. This place looks familiar. I hope they have showers here. On second thought I don’t think I have ever been there. Asked where the bathroom was. The bartender pointed at a nearby bush.
New towns. New guild features. New influences. Nice.
I was trying to spread the word at Last Resort’s main square, informing the people about my guild, when suddenly thunder boomed and amplified my voice a hundredfold. People here are going to remember the “Fairy Tail” guild for a long time.
A luminous halo suddenly appeared above my head. Seized the opportunity and ran to the city square to preach your word to the townspeople. My guild is going to gain more influence here.
The trader suddenly started sobbing while mumbling something about deceiving hundreds of heroes and carrying the soul-crushing burden of a guilty conscience. I nodded sympathetically while sneaking 405 coins from the register.
To fine people of the Fairy Tail Guild. I am leaving this guild to join another. That is why I am so far out.(Milestone 1115) I decided to see what happens. Tally it up to the great Random. See you around Godville. Good luck.