A Brief Introduction
At approximately 01:40a.m. 08/12/2016, the brave or very foolish hero Atheo Heron started his journey as the Champion to his Deity Valeour.
Before becoming the faithful champion, he was a rather smart and well-mannered lad. A friendly and cheerful person, Atheo has little trouble making new friends.
Unfortunately, being a hero has the occupational hazard of developing incompetency.
Atheo’s subpar performance in the usual heroic acts of violence and decent barter of wares has given his Lord much amusement as well as exasperation. The hero of his chronicle is as stubborn as ever, generally clueless as all protagonists are and very much loves drinking.
Here starts the recordings of his misadventures as his scribe sees fit to remember or happens to witness
09/12/2016 08:08 1st Death
“Won the game of “kick the bucket” against the Dreaded Gazebo and stood victorious… for about a split second."
Way to greet me first thing in the morning, Atheo…
13/12/2016 21:29 (Level 12)
Defeated the Boss Alpacalypse as well as a Mini-Alpacalypse with the aide of heroes Christopher Dark (Valrez) and Karagh (Netherium).
They grow up so fast…
16/12/2016 16:23 2nd Death
“Decided to sell my life dearly. A golden brick seemed a fair price.”
(much to Valeour’s exasperation)
17/12/2016
Became the 55th member of the Guild Drunken Heroes.
Now hold on a minute, I thought you were going to be the 48th member… Atheo, explain yourself.
18/12/2016 14:19
Just found out that the locals of The Oasis of Deadman’s Hand have dubbed Christopher Dark and me “The Dream Team”! Apparently it’s because we both pass out at the first sign of danger.
This seems to have become true.
21/12/2016
I had to use my outdated diary pages to start a campfire again. It’s unfortunate that this forest doesn’t have twigs for kindling.
Great. Just Great.
21:46 3rd Death
“Overcome by the Gnomebreaker, I boldly told it “I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.” Well, next life it is then.”
He was revived a minute later.
22/12/2016 20:26
Why don’t you have your own holy book, Great One? All the other gods have one. Please accept 116 coins and hire a holy ghost-writer.
Oh Atheo, I am my own ghost-writer.
And what do you mean I don’t have a book? I’m the one with the book, they aren’t.
24/12/2016
Learned the Tin Throat Skill
Well that’ll be useful.
18:27
I feel like I’d be a better hero if I had a personal theme song. My God, please send a band of wandering minstrels to compose songs about my great deeds!
How about… No.
29/12/2016 20:19
Felt a burning desire to disassemble the Davy Jones’ locker. Found a notarized document inside stating that I’ve died fewer times than I thought. Splendid.
Huh. That’s nice.
31/12/2016 17:17
Now I feel really guilty. The Vegetarian Vulture stroked my cheek and used its final breath to ask, “Et tu, Atheo Heron?”
Well, that’s just depressing.
19:00 (Step 21)
Notes from the battlefield: The Mad Clown was used up for gold and experience! Time to return to my heroic deeds.
You beat it! Great job, if only you didn’t need me to heal you 5 times.
04/01/2017
Learned the Eye Scream Skill, My Lord!
That sounds… terrifying. How can an eye… Nevermind, I’m sure it’ll scare many monsters away.
06/01/2017 09:46 4th 3rd Death
As I lay dying, the Biological Nightmare whispered into my ear, “Where is your great god now?”
As I lay dying, the Biological Nightmare whispered into my ear, “Where is your great god now?”
Damn it Atheo, clearly your Eye Scream didn’t work!
07/01/2017
22:37 Suddenly had a burning desire to open up the continuum transfunctioner. As I raised the intricately marked lid, memories started flooding back and I remembered a death I had suppressed. Darn!
DAMN IT! Well, at least you’re one step closer to martyrdom.
08/01/2017
11:11 PM Here I lay in the throes of dying agony and the Mighty One elects to send a potted aloe plant to sit on my chest. Why do I worship you, my Lord?
11:11 PM The fillings in my teeth picked up a radio signal, saying: “Because.”
09/01/2017
10:22 PM I looked into the kind eyes of the vanquished monster and suddenly decided — Rocky Raccoon, you’ll be my pet! And I’ll call you Gleep. Bandaged his wounds, gave him a treat and fastened the leash.
Finally! Took you long enough.
11/01/2017 4th 5th Death
11:16 AM The Deer God ripped out my guts and showed them to me. Hey look, a golden brick! I don’t remember eating that.
Seriously? I went to take a shower and you die?
17/01/2017 6th Death
03:29 AM Told the Seven Year Lich that I was sorry and would never attack its kind again. It pointed out that I made the same promise last week, then struck me down.
Are. You. Kidding me? You died Again?
At this point, Valeour just got lazy and didn’t bother recording down Atheo’s multiple deaths.