Flup Flap… Who is that again, you say? You don’t know? Let me tell you a story. I like to call it:
The Evolution of Greatness!
One day, it must be, maybe September? October? Anyways, somewhere in that month, in the ancient year 2816eB, universe Glab-0€@, known for its hazardous time-vortexes, lived once a civilisation called “The Braved” (translated of course, because let’s be honest, who knows what “Gno Fwq0q!” means?) called after the abitily to live in a range of 2 km(!) of time-vortexes. This was honored and respected far and wide in Glab-0€@. Because, if you leave the vortexes away, the planet (did I mention it was called Vgakf?) was flooded with nature like flowers, trees, bushes with delicious berries and even monkeys that were SO fast, they could easily flee from an incoming vortex! The civilisation, however, had a different method: when arriving in a new place, since they has to move constantly (because of the nature that was not on place A, but on place B, constantly changing of course!) they built, as soon as possible, a “Metal Shrine” (Gnognog k0h@@t) to throw it in a nearby vortex, and it was so heavy that the vortex collapsed immediately. Since the vortexes kept on forming, this story repeats over and over, for generations. And this is only the backstory!
Chapter One
The Beginning of the Journey to Greatness
Now on a certain day, a young yet brave hero named Dushie (it’s a polite name there) decided to investigate the time-vortexes, and not only because he is curious as damn, but also sick and tired of constantly moving, clinging to new pet rocks, then being forced to leave ‘em again because it should be “too dangerous” (’but why can’t I take this with me?’ ‘Too heavy.’). So, he gathered some ancient technology like lasers, sensors and that kind of stuff, a group of less brave but loyal friends and went to a vortex. But not just a random one, no, the feared Yeass, which has been attacked with Metal Shrines for, like, 5206 gjuks! (About 2 years.) It just wouldn’t go away; a perfect opportunity to test the stupidity of someone!
I remember: it was September 26th! The “day of the doom”. Yeass came too close without being noticed. The local people were screaming, fearing for their lives, but then Dushie stood up and said, I quote: “Don’t worry my evil (sorry, I think my translation device meant good) friends! I will now, with all the data I already have, save you from going under! Now, please let me…”
But while showing off his enormous ego, he didn’t hear the townspeople scream and warn him, that the suction was too strong…
He was sucked in Yeass. That came in, er, out wrong.
Chapter Two
The Cube Planet
Dushie landed, not was he was expecting, on a planet completely consistent of cubes! First thought: Why am I not dead?! Second thought: Did I just pee my pants? Somewhere in the 23rd thought he realised that he was actually on a cube planet. They called it Minecraft. He called that stupid.
After some research he found out not everything was cubulair (is that a word?). You had things like “redstone” and “mobs” that could be activated and either made things explode or exploded. He also found out most humans are called “players” or “steve”, not sure which. So, because he thought it would be stupid to name himself one name, he renamed himself Player, thinking this planet was his new eternal home. Oh boy how wrong was he.
After spending either 3 or 4 weeks, the sun didn’t quite go straight, slaying some mobs, mining and crafting, and brewing invisibility potions (the look so… nothing!), a strange portal opened, called by locals “End Portal”. He got a bit carried away, mostly by the Ender Dragon. But then, he was thrown into another kind of portal, a green shiny one. It turned out to be an alien ship that, on the quest to find the begin of existence (he learned a new word: quest!) headed to the End. At first he was a bit befuddled, but later he found out that everything made perfectly sense because it was:
Chapter Three
It’s Always Opposite Day!
To Be Continued…