The Queer and Questionably Curious (ongoing) Record of High Zealot Navieka:
Once upon a time or so (though not that very long ago), a girl set out to play – she gathered up treasure, punched monsters for pleasure, plus everything else in her way. Eventually fortune would fail the young maid, arrested and tried for the mess that she’d made: sentenced to service, against her will, the dread monster goddess Twifight Sparkill! Made up as a sacrifice, divine enslavement wasn’t nice – the poor thing crumbled ’neath the weight, blemishing her mental state.
Now the goddess and the girl have DARED to stand AGAINST THE WORLD! Slaying hordes and hoarding wealth? DAMN the rabbit’s mental health! Here’s to Twifight’s bunny blight! KILL ALL DAY and DRINK ALL NIGHT! CHEERS TO HER, THE ZEALOT SCOURGE! MURDER! SLAUGHTER! PLUNDER! PURGE! HOWL with me! AWOO-O-OOO!
“I’ve travelled the continents aimlessly, smiting their residents blamelessly; risking the possible loss of limbs to spread Her gospel, prayers and hymns. Being an acolyte does have its perks – for starters, I find that my brain never works! … hey nerd, have you heard the good word?” – recorded from the Sparkill transcripts, translated by noted theologian S.C. Saustin, 2701 g.e. (after a weekend of drinking malt liquor).
Basic Description:
High Zealot Navieka, the “Decidedly Fortunate Servant of the Merciful Grand Equestrian Monster Matriarch Twifight Sparkill: Magus Mistress of The Sacred Elements and Tyrant-regent of the Reknown Unknown Whose Glory is Unquestionably Magnificent”, appears as a tall, slender tan-furred rabbit girl with dark eyes and a suspiciously frantic demeanor.
She spends the majority of her time making sarcastic remarks, complaining about Twifight’s rituals SEVERELY lacking in shmexxy sacrifices, and/or bleeding profusely. Her hobbies include: breathing heavily, being generally creepy, and maintaining an enthusiastic enlistment in the internationally-acclaimed sport of “Competitive Self-Flagellation” (whilst breathing heavily and being generally creepy).
Navieka enjoys long walks off the ends of short piers, staring directly at the sun for hours at a time, and poaching eggs. Whenever she’s directly outside of a town, she somehow finds a discarded fishing rod then proceeds to PULL A GOLD BRICK from the nearest river! WOO! She never manages to keep the rod, however – she’s also often levied hefty fines for breaking local wildlife law restrictions by not catching-and-releasing hatchery gold bricks. She never pays them, so whatever! Just another day in the life of a sportsfisherbunnywhodontgiveafudge, yo. YO-YO! I LOVE THOSE!
- High Zealot Navieka’s favourite colour of the week is: “ARK! ME HAS ARK! YEEHAW!”
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Current Events:
- October 20th, 2017 @ 6:33PM: Navieka received the combat skill “strike of the rabbit”; considering her being an OC bunny person, this winds up being INCREDIBLY IMPOSSIBLY COINCIDENTAL as far as Godville’s game mechanics go! I mean, it’s her FIRST SKILL EVER, and it is SPECIFICALLY LAPINE-RELATED?? WHAT ARE THE ODDS!? She MUST be destined for great things! Or at least rabbit things, anyway.
- November 10th, 2017 @ 5:39AM: I looked into the kind eyes of the vanquished monster and suddenly decided, “Rocky Raccoon, you’ll be my pet! And I’ll call you Tigger”. I bandaged his wounds, gave him a treat and fastened the leash. He’s shit on my rug 107 times, and I’ve still not ended him. FIRST PET EVER! WOO!
- November 12th, 2017 @ 8:47PM: Notes from the arena – High Zealot Navieka surrenders after some 80+ rounds of SEVERE punishment! Ricton definitely fulfilled his goddess’ expectations today; Athernal receives a gold brick and 1409 coins, and a pair of bunny ears to hang on the wall. LONGEST, BLOODIEST FIGHT EVER! Well done, Athernal! We’re friends now, which is awesome.
- November 16th, 2017 @ 3:34AM: Monsters killed – 6666. Should I… should I be afraid? OH WAIT, I almost forgot that I am a devotee of metal music. I’M ALREADY GOING TO HELL! WOO!
- November 19th, 2017 @ 3:31AM: Hooray! I learned this new skill called “poisoned kiss” not so long ago – together with the “fanned fingers” discipline I’d figured out, I’m able to execute the dreaded “smooching-death-and-wave-goodbye” maneuver! This discipline is best executed at high school reunions and court hearings ONLY. Or in the public showers after dropping the soap, of course. Or getting into exclusive dance clubs.
- November 23rd, 2017 @ 7:13PM: Notes from the arena – Tay-k and Twifight Sparkill elected to forego a lengthy arena combat and stopped healing their respective acolytes halfway through the combat. High Zealot Navieka narrowly fulfilled her goddess’ expectations, relying on her lucky rabbit’s feet to squeak out a victory against the determined Tingman!
- November 29th, 2017 @ 12:54AM: Notes from the arena – Beaten soundly in nine rounds by Lanara and her insanely buff hero Mikethare. Total slaughter! Apparently Lanara isn’t a fan of cute, fluffy, insane bunny girls. Which is just CRAZY, right? What a world! WHAT A FUDGING WORLD!
- November 30th, 2017 @ 9:18PM: Notes from the arena – High Zealot Navieka was offered some arena lessons after her last confusing (and embarrassing) endeavour – she learned a great deal about rabbit innards via calculated dissection, and was mercifully rendered unconscious in 9 rounds. AGAIN. Shawarma Philippines successfully fulfilled the goal of praising his deity AND teaching a young bunny that being cute & not knowing how to use actions means you’re DEFINITELY gonna wind up as dog food.
- December 2nd, 2017 @ 12:53PM: Met our latest member Unfair Maiden, and felt like we’ve been old friends for ages. Thank you, Deep Snow! I met you first though, so you win.
- December 5th, 2017 @ 1:16AM: Notes from the sparring fight – High Zealot Navieka gets experience points for today’s win, while Kitten lover thanks her partner for a lesson. Both were dressed in an unacceptable fashion, revealing too much about both combatants physically.
Although lapine triumphed over feline in this particular scenario, the uncomfortable hug exchanged between the pair afterwards has led local press to consider having neither warrior ever meet again - unless in a more discreet intendment, with cameras and several legal documents signed beforehand.
Onlookers described the match as "provocative, and reminiscent of the most abhorrent furry filth encountered in history." Scarred children in attendance were offered free counselling, as well as ill-received balloon animals. Worst promotion ever.
- December 7th, 2017 @ 12:00PM: My lovely little bunny girl/homi-psychoti-cidal cult leader has FINALLY reached the 10,000 kill plateau! They grow up/kill everything in sight SO FAST! D’AWWW! So… how much Godpower does it take to get that stink offa her? Honestly! She smells like someone dipped a diaper bag in a bowl of Arizona roadkill! EW! … oh no, wait. That’s me. SIGH! I gotta bathe more often.
Oh, I'm also on my 100th quest too! Shoot. Do I... do I just burst into flames now? Is that what happens?? WHY AREN'T YOU SAYING ANYTHING!? AUUGH!
- December 8th, 2017 @ 12:20AM: Celebrating my 69th day in Godville! YAY! Thank you all for being so caring and thoughtful, helping me figure out how I fit in this wicked mess of wackiness without embarrassing myself TOO much. You’re all my little murderous angels of mercy! SEE YOU AT 420!
- December 19th, 2017 @ 12:02AM: My adorable guildmates and I have begun to weave a wrathful & wondrous game to play within our delightful pack, and the inaugural match was a marvel of menacing malevolence to behold! Thank you, Unfair Maiden! You huwt my widdle feewings expertly! NO CONTEST!
- January 1st, 2018 @ 12:25AM: HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my three months here, and am looking forward to many more months of fun and fellowship! DREAM BIG AND LOVE HARD, MY BELOVED COMRADES!
- January 4th, 2018 @ 1:03AM to January 11th, 2018 @ 10:30PM: I took a week off after doing a bad thing that hurt people. SCANDALOUS ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED! GO ME! I’m ridiculous at the best of times, and sometimes that’s the worst thing ever. Picking up the pieces of a broken obsession after such a long time away, minutes being hours and days seeming years, I’m careful not to cut myself on the sharp edges of what is fragile now, and I move forward with the intend to be more careful.
OH PLEASE! Who am I kidding?? I'm a fudging MESS! Oh well!
- January 16th, 2018 @ 11:18PM: Currently gained a position in the Storytelling pantheon for receiving enough chronicle votes! OH YOU LOVELIES! I have no idea who to thank for that, but after a fairly miserable 2018 so far, know that you’ve made an old monster mare goddess terror SO HAPPY! In celebration, there’ll be no executions for an ENTIRE WEEK! WOO! Maybe. We’ll see.
ADDITIONAL: That week is WAY OVER. START RUNNING. NOW!
- January 21st, 2018 @ 4:28PM: Mastered the Strike of the Rabbit skill! “As a master, the hero/heroine can perform at blinding speeds while maintaining perfect precision and power. Now with enough force to blow a massive hole in a very big boulder, the maneuver is like second nature to the wielder”.
FUN FACT: It has been discovered that masters are often accompanied by groups of small fluffy long-eared creatures whilst doing quests." BEHOLD MY WICKED RABBIT ARMY AND TREMBLE IN FEAR! MOUAHAHA! ... hey, HEY! GET OUT OF MY TURNIP GARDEN, YOU VERMIN SCUM! ... mommy still loves you!
- January 27th, 2018 @ 1:04AM: Notes from the sparring fight – Mighty Klaus gets experience points for today’s win, while High Zealot Navieka tries to duct tape her cotton tail back on after having her ass handed to her in a paltry 20 rounds. Two rabbit’s feet, zero luck – although we did receive the Coaching achievement, which is a nice consolation! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS, Lady Ruthless! 😜
- February 4th, 2018 @ 5:16PM: Tigger gained another level, hitting 15th in less than three months, and tried to assert his dominance; since he’d forgotten to bring any protection, I told him he’d have to try again in a few more levels. Seriously, who doesn’t wear an athletic cup to a dodgeball fight?? Dumb raccoon!
- February 8th, 2018 @ 1:18AM: There’s a storm brewing. The Howling Moon guild is making a decided push to win over new recruits and be a bonafide power amongst the flood of political juggernauts that’ve existed for ages! WISH US LUCK! We’ll need it, even though the campaign is led by two of the most deadly Generals that exist! PRAY FOR MERCY!
- February 12th, 2018 @ 10:08PM: The unbelievably popular “Dr. Owl and the Dancing Fox” book publication is being debated in our forum! WHUPS! HANG ON! APPARENTLY THE FIRST CHAPTER HAS BEEN POSTED! WOW, TWIFIGHT SPARKILL SURE IS AWESOME! Isn’t she? Er, ahem. ANYWAY! Support the potential posting of other chapters here!
- February 15th, 2018 @ 12:18AM: I’M OFFICIALLY HALF THE WAY TOWARDS BUILDING MY TEMPLE! WOOHOO! Four months and seventeen days later, LOOK AT ME NOW! YEE! … wait, what’s the point of a temple again? Anyone? Well, whatever. STILL SUPER-DUPER PROUD! 🤣
- February 22nd, 2018 @ 7:05PM: I am now a Cardinal in my beloved Howling Moon guild. BEWARE THE TALL RELIGIOUS HAT!
- February 27th, 2018 @ 9:18PM: Notes from the sparring fight – Snailyn wins the imaginary fight, embarrassing my bunny acolyte in a pathetic display of indifference that resulted in getting her fuzzy butt kicked HARD! High Zealot Navieka will enjoy a week in pony Purgatory for her inability to try at a fight. GREAT job. I’ve been here exactly five months, and I’m delighted to be a part of this amazing community! I LOVE YOU ALL! Most of you. Mostly. Deal with it.
- February 28th, 2018 @ 1:08AM: Notes from the sparring fight – High Zealot Navieka is granted mercy by her adversary, and gets experience points for today’s win, whilst Minlic reminds her that sympathy is the combat equivalent of pity. Which is true, and is sad. Pity for the rabbit!
- March 1st, 2018 @ 9:53PM: Notes from the sparring fight – Snuzzler suggested that she could drink more than High Zealot Navieka, so the pair decided to settle the dispute by BEATING the EVER-LOVING CRAP out of each other! In hindsight, both agreed that a drinking contest would have been a better choice, and admitted that they were drunk at the time of the dare, thus no harm was intended … so they had a few more drinks, made out in the middle of a nightclub, and were eventually incarcerated. THE END.
- March 2nd, 2018 @ 8:50PM: Notes from the battlefield – The heroes brought together by the Great Random have defeated the Enlightened Pickpocketing Khannibal! High Zealot Navieka became the owner of 2719 coins, a tail of the Khannibal, a golden brick, some space-time continuum glue, an attention spanner, a half-eaten magical bean, a golden parachute and a huggable cactus; Jonathan Lauw got to see the bunny cleric naked. Everyone was satisfied. Except the Khannibal, naturally.
- March 14th, 2018 @ 7:55PM: Notes from the arena – High Zealot Navieka was all set to kick some Arena butt, but elected to beg for mercy instead. Guy417 definitely fulfilled his goddess’ expectations today! The winner got richer by 1166 coins and a golden brick. As it was promised, the loser gets a great consolation prize – three gold bricks. Which is why the bunny rolled over, nyeh-heh. YAY GOLD! GOOD FIGHT GUY417!
- March 16th, 2018 @ 11:16PM: Notes from the sparring fight – High Zealot Navieka watched on as Twifight Sparkill reunited with her dear friend Oversee Year, then battled Dungeon Raider to a near stalemate before getting one last cheap shot in. Typical bunny bitch! Despite the ferocity of their spar, Navieka thanked her partner for letting a skinny bunny win their match. Dungeon Raider admitted that she threw the fight for bet money, and promised the acolyte rabbit a serious beating the next time they crossed swords. YAY FRIENDSHIP!
- March 29th, 2018 @ 12:51PM: Ain’t done shit for ages. Big shouts out to my peeps! YO YO! Peace out, you crazies!
- March 31st, 2018 @ 12:40AM: Notes from the battlefield – The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Squandering Scurrying Vertigoat! High Zealot Navieka added 5658 coins, a tail of the Vertigoat and an unlimited breadstick to her bag. LORD KNOWS that rabbits LOVE FREE BREADSTICKS! HOORAY FOR OLIVE GARDEN!
- April 15th, 2018 @ 4:54AM: “Grant me mercy, for I am lacking – I’m losing my favourite game.”
- April 18th, 2018 @ 11:11PM: Today is my 200th day in Godville. BE VERY AFRAID!
- April 21st, 2018 @ 7:51PM: Notes from the sparring fight – Epitome of Misery challenged High Zealot Navieka to a friendly spar, issuing an extension of peace between the pair after having argued for several months over various religious differences and sexual preferences. Just as the combat was about to come to an amicable conclusion, Epitome of Misery evoked the wrath of his diety, striking the rabbit girl squarely with a bolt of lightning, killing her instantly.
Needless to say, Navieka was 'shocked' by the treacherous maneuver. THERE WILL BE RETRIBUTION!
- April 30th, 2018 @ 8:12PM: _Several notable milestones achieved in the last week or so – I finally reached level 40 after seven months in Godville, as well as surpassed 75% of the bricks needed to build my IMMENSE GRANDIOSE temple! I achieved the rank of hierarch in my guild, and have been nominated to lead it! WOO! I also got to be the esteemed and remarkable Traveller of Godville for a week!
Thank you Mykus Aditus for the lovely gift, I just wish I'd had more time with him. Love you all!
- May 3rd, 2018 @ 11:50PM: I’m so blessed, yet I cannot get over the slightest inconsistencies offered by others. I admit I said the wrong thing all the time! IT ISN’T HARD, FOR THE LOVE OF SHIT!
- May 11th, 2018 @ 12:01AM: I am now the newly elected leader of the HOWLING MOON GUILD! WOOHOO! OH YEAH! I’m not sure how to thank everyone enough for the opportunity, but I’m definitely resolved to make us a better place to be than the dead GCs that permeate the landscape. I’m always looking for help and ideas! Come on in! We’re cool animals! Join us!
(LONG HIATUS)
- July 8th, 2018 @ 2:15AM: Someone finally got a temple after eight months of servitude. GROSS. Oh wait, it’s me. WHATEVER!
(LONG HIATUS AGAIN)
- September 14th, 2018 @ 1:23PM: Has anyone seen a purple unicorn around? She used to be here all the time. What happened?
- September 15th, 2018 @ 9:23PM: Notes from the sparring fight – High Zealot Navieka gets experience points for today’s win, while Midnight Howler thanks her partner for a LESSON. *Navieka *deserved a beating, yet somehow persevered. Lucky rabbit’s feet, I suppose.
- September 15th, 2018 @ 9:54PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka gets 11449 coins, a log for the ark, the circle of life, a super mango, a worship-o-meter and a wreath of Khan. Shinji Sawada left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 3508 coins in total as a consolation prize. My first dungeon ever! Thank you, Forgotten Hunter! I SALUTE YOU!
- September 23rd, 2018 @ 10:48PM: Despite having been notably absent, neglecting both duty and friendships for such and feeling positively awful about it, the grand animals (and tree) of my beloved Howling Moon Guild have seen it fit to put me back on the throne despite, which made me freak out and cry. I love you guys.
EDIT: Apparently the voting was automatic, since the guild is lacking in available promoted members, so... yeah. Hooray for me, not. 😩😭❤️
- October 10th, 2018 @ 1:08AM: Finally reached level 50! WOOHOO! Also found out that my election win was a matter of site allowances and politics. YAY. 😭
- October 13th, 2018 @ 11:37PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka puts 11749 coins, a log for the ark, a rosetta stone, a worship-o-meter, a disengagement ring and a free fall accelerator in her pockets. Eelis left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 3589 coins in total as a consolation prize. Thanks to Cassia Rainsonne for making this long experience fun and… well, she’s patient. BEST KITTEH EVAH! ❤️
- October 30th, 2018 @ 8:34PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka gets 10302 gold coins, a log for the ark, a parallel universe navigator, an ACME monster trap, a bold item and a portable stairway to heaven. Hobo Sandwich left unconscious and missing his pants – nobody asked why. Those who missed the plunder are given 3407 coins in total as a consolation prize.
- October 30th – Additional: HEY! SO GOOD TO BE BACK! I got to bust up an underground parking lot dungeon with my lovely friends Augnoramous and Hobo Sandwich, and I’m still alive! WHICH BAFFLES THEM BOTH! Easy folks, easy. As a dedicated poneh goddess, rest assured you can make damn sure I’ll ride into the sunset come the end of the movie. In hot leather lingerie. I MEAN RIDING TACK! UGH! ❤️
- October 31st, 2018 @ 9:26PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka puts 7951 coins, a log for the ark, a dream sweetener, a certificate of heroism, an ambiance fluxuator and a worship-o-meter in her pockets. Augnoramous wore a delicious Halloween horse costume, which resulted in Twifight Sparkill needing a cold shower soon afterwards. NO CONSEQUENCE! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
- November 14th, 2018 @ 10:25PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka gets 14883 gold coins, a log for the ark, a diary entry generator, a gastronomical unit, a flux incapacitor, a chaos engine, an enlightening bolt, an alchemical transmuter, a modular nodule and a pillow of eternal sleep. Veeson, Barkinson and Hamalainen left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 14874 coins in total as a consolation prize. Augnoramous, the true hero of the day, managed to traverse the dungeon without any further casualties – everyone else had died in the “Cemetery of Whatever-I-Wasn’t-Paying-Attention”, save for poor Augy and Navieka.
"If you see us through this death sentence," the rabbit cried, "I'll buy you all the drinks and stuff you want!"
Augy did as much, so Navieka took him out for drinks and dancing at her favourite ale house, showing him a right debaucherous fun time - being a spirited bunny girl, knowing expertly how to cut loose after a terrible day of murdering anything within swinging distance, she was definitely a knowledgeable guide into the very worst ways to make merry, that was for certain... poor Augy!
Hours later, waking up in a filthy alleyway behind a toy shoppe, the pair were left holding empty bottles of nondescript booze, covered in tarps used by the local law to indicate the bodies at a murder scene, and too many questions. They quietly slipped away as the guards were otherwise occupied, soon snickering whilst traversing through the darker pathways towards freedom and eventually making it to a main city road.
"You're fun Augy," Navieka grinned, kissing him farewell - she tasted like a plush doll dipped in tequila and barbecue sauce.
"Let's never do this again! I mean, except the dungeoning... ooh, or the celebrating! I can't believe you wrestled a walrus naked! HAW! Hm! I guess... I guess I mean let's do it all again soon! Night!"
The acolyte then curled up on the sidewalk and immediately fell asleep, snoring loudly within a few moments.
Augy left before things got any more awkward, if that was possible, wondering whose clothes he was wearing.
- November 16th, 2018 @ 11:27AM: IDEABOX NEWS – The Ideabox saw 61 ideas yesterday, almost all of which are PRINTABLE. Let’s celebrate SourceRunner and her devotion to helping our ideas be all they can be. The humble goddess Twifight Sparkill set a good example for others by both submitting and voting for ideas.
Yeah. Humility. Ironically, I'd just added SourceRunner to my PM list, and now we're both in the newspaper on the same day IN THE SAME ARTICLE! "I'M SPOOKED AND DELIGHTED!" 😘
- November 20th, 2018 @ 10:14PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka gets 10954 coins, a log for the ark, a dream sweetener, a portable death star, an invite to Godville and a mana lotion. Dartbaug left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 3427 coins in total as a consolation prize.
Another amazing Augnoramous adventure, which ended in victory! WOO! Best part of it? Meeting and witnessing the incomparable methods of Cham the Almighty, whose comedic influences and stalwart shenanigans had me in STITCHES! I COULDN'T BEFRIEND HER FAST ENOUGH! SO MANY LAUGHS!
Anyway. If you want to have a good time in a filthy alleyway full of monsters, bring along Cham the Almighty - you'll laugh yourself to death! After the monsters have done so first, thankfully. She hangs around the Godville Discord or something, and is apparently a famous dungeoneer - BE RESPECTFUL! LOVE YOU CHAM! SO GLAD WE MET!
- November 24th, 2018 @ 9:54PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka puts 14311 gold coins, a log for the ark, a golden parachute, a skeleton key, a body language translator, a boss monster’s paycheck, a snappy comeback generator and a cryogenically preserved phoenix in her pockets. Hoochie choochie and Toilet Duck left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 9580 coins in total as a consolation prize.
The real hero of this recent dungeon foray was the incomparable Mabinogion, whose driving and murderous resolve saw us through the very worst bosses and FAR TOO MANY TRAPS that nearly killed us on several occasions. Best of all? Mabinogion became my friend! FRIENDS IN BLOOD! WOO! Let's do it all again soon, new pal!
- November 28th, 2018 @ 7:44PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka puts 5092 coins, a log for the ark, another log for the ark, a conversation starter, a bottle of holy ale and a modular nodule in her pockets.
Oh Cham. You're beautiful, from your love of chocolate to snuggling - dungeon is fungeon when you drive us! WOO! MORE SOON!
- November 29th, 2018 @ 12:24AM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka gets 9678 gold coins, Bertrand’s teapot, a diamond in the rough, a super mango, a magnum opus and a slice of heaven. DoubleRaynbow left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 3302 coins in total as a consolation prize.
As always, an expertly-driven dungeon via the capable and lethal claws of Cham the Almighty - she'll be the death of me. Oh! Wait she already WAS the literal death of me! Didn't I post that dungeon crawl here? The one where I died miserably and embarrassingly? No!? AW. WHAT A PITY! ANYWAY, it was totally my own FAULT. Even the almighty Cham-a-lam can't save the mess that is me! Despite her best efforts. Lol! 😁
- November 30th, 2018 @ 9:37PM: Tigger the Rocky Raccoon wants to explore the mysterious realms beyond the roads we have traversed. This is where our paths must split, then. Bon voyage, noble animal. Send me a postcard!
I begrudgingly parted ways with my feral pet, my first and best friend since I'd gained the ability to have one - until he went crazy, apparently allergic to my dressing him up in little coats and pants constantly. Bastard! How'd I know!? Eh. Sweet dreams, my lovely servant. Until we never meet again. ❤️
- December 1st, 2018 @ 9:48PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka puts 8752 gold coins, a log for the ark, a portable wormhole, a stereotypewriter and a magnum opus in her pockets.
I could go on and on about Cham Almighty again, as I've done for a few times now, except that she's a fellow humble Northerner and doesn't need the fawning praise - she knows what she did, how much I appreciate it, and now needs to let me read one of her stories. No pressure! 😊
- December 2nd, 2018 @ 1:33AM: I was just about to defeat the Solar Bear when he pulled out a beer and offered it to me. Hey, I could use a good drinking buddy! Slapped a collar on him and named him “Sneezy”. He looks like he’s regretting his choice now!
I figured it best if I bought him tequila shots at the local strip club to calm his nerves, eventually ordering the poor blanc ursine a "welcome to the team" lap dance - which would have been amazing, except the dancer was a Seal of Approval! What're the odds!? I... I can't begin to describe the aftermath!
... just don't ask me how it went from there, please. I'm still traumatized by his Instagram posts. What a mess. They're apparently engaged now.
- December 4th, 2018 @ 7:50PM: Notes from the dungeon: The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka gets 13610 coins, a log for the ark, a cryogenically preserved phoenix, a dragon egg incubator, a zen energy pouch, a frontstage pass, a crescent moon rock, a gravity-defying apple, a king’s bounty, a hellfire extinguisher, a pointy WIZZARD hat and an eye of the beholder. Naati and Jazel-Hay left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 8814 coins in total as a consolation prize.
People died. We prevailed. I am exhausted!
- December 5th, 2018 @ 8:13PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka gets 8694 coins, a log for the ark, another log for the ark and a troubleshooting star.
- December 12th, 2018 @ 10:32PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka puts 9921 coins, a log for the ark, a motion potion, a golden ticket, an improbability drive and a mind opener in her pockets. Naati left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 3295 coins in total as a consolation prize.
Oh Cham. How do I love thee? A lot. A LOT.
- January 13th, 2019 @ 1:18PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka gets 10597 coins, a log for the ark, an emoji translator, an emergency exit, a Darwin award, a cryogenically preserved phoenix and a root of all evil. Jbcdu87 left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 3483 coins in total as a consolation prize. Augy and Cassia were there too.
- January 15th, 2019 @ 9:52PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka puts 11674 coins, a log for the ark, a conversation starter, a graphics engine, an Encyclopedia Heroica, a gift of fate, an ACME black hole, a ticket to paradise and an astral projector in her pockets. Hey0h and Invictuscrimson left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 7645 gold coins in total as a consolation prize. AUGY AND CRIMSONINVICTUS.
- May 22nd, 2019 @10:10PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka gets 9315 coins, a log for the ark, another log for the ark, a dream sweetener and an ACME monster trap. CHAM ALMIGHTY IS BOSS! ❤️
- June 18th, 2019 @11:06PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka gets 11925 coins, a log for the ark, a cliché filter, a deadline extender, a dream sweetener, some poetic justice and a pointy WIZZARD hat. Crippler and Morte Aeterna left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 7880 gold coins in total as a consolation prize.
Augnoramous invited me and spared my darling rabbit throughout this fight, resulting in drunken hyjinks and bad decisions.
Some days later, the pair waking up in bed with no clothes or recollection of what'd happened, they shook hands and promised to never discuss the matter again for as long as they lived.
Which was fine, until Augy's doctor asked about the femme rabbit tattoo on his left ass cheek, and why its nude parts were so grossly anatomically accurate.
Augy later sued Navieka, the pair settling the matter out of court, and remained friends despite the issue. Both have been seen naked together since, and always disorderly.
- September 4th, 2019 @ 2:33AM: Having lost my darling Solar Bear because Godville can be a cruel and awful place, I have since gained a new Grounded Hog named Spot. He’s sufficiently played by Divine Porcupine and after a period of adjustment, I’m delighted to announce that he’s stopped struggling. Everyone eventually gives up, and he’s no exception. Good boy, Spot.
-December 9th, 2019 @ 8:43PM: – Notes from the dungeon: The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka puts 11724 coins, a log for the ark, another log for the ark, a box with a question mark, a time amplification device, a modular nodule and a risk calculator in her pockets – Hoof Hero left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 3871 gold coins in total as a consolation prize. Thanks for inviting me along Salentina and Gintaman!
... Sorry about Navieka vomiting everywhere for the first three hours... she was very hung over. Bad rabbit! Very bad! No treats!
-December 10th, 2019 @ 9:21PM: Notes from the dungeon – Tumbling wildly through time and space, Kathlyn Wedekind, High Zealot Navieka, Maxagent, Tesekles and Gintaman land on solid ground and find themselves in a dungeon.
... it sucked. Very little loot and meh. I was in a bad mood. UGH!
-December 12th, 2019 @ 9:53PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka gets 8761 coins, a log for the ark, a fallen star, an ACME black hole and a piece of destruction paper. Another fun Augy trip.
-December 14th, 2019 @ 9:35PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the free real estate and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka puts 12370 coins, a log for the ark, a future antique, a developmental tissue, a gastronomical unit, a slice of heaven and a universal discharger in her pockets. Kingmiles1 and Dbdjkebjx left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 8372 coins in total as a consolation prize.
That was a tough dungeon! Whew! I can't remember whether it was with Llamaking or Augy to be honest. Ah well! We lived at least!
-December 16, 2019 @ 10:05PM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the basket of kittens and divide the free porn. High Zealot Navieka puts 9468 gold coins, a log for the ark, a graphics engine, a fog of war machine and a must-have gadget in her pockets.
Having completed yet another sloppy dungeon together and barely surviving the rigorous horrors for their clumsy foolish merits (entirely the rabbit's fault), the frequently partnered pillagers Navieka and Augy staggered blindly through the main streets of Beerburgh, laughing and singing whilst burying all the terrifying nightmares they'd witnessed hours prior down deep inside their tattered screaming tortured souls...
... which is why they drank all the time, eh. Like, I'm talking ALL the time, you know? Look, just don't worry about it! It's none of your damn business anyway, so shove off.
"YEAH BABY! AWRIGHT WE ROCK HARD WOO!" Navieka screamed at anyone within earshot as they trundled through town. "YOU WISH you were this good! EH? Ya lame jerks with your human looks and normal ears and other stuff that I don't got WHATEVER ... get over yourselves!"
She started bawling after that for some reason. It was really uncomfortable.
"I'M FLUFFY GODDAMN IT! BUCK-TOOTHED HERBIVORE 4LIFE! STEP OFF FOO', I'LL CUT YA!"
Eventually they found a bar that didn't adhere to any ethical pest standards for her sake; agreeing that a bath and a good meal should happen before any more booze was consumed no matter what was immediately forgotten the moment they walked in and smelled the heavenly scent of stale ale and rotting pub food.
"H-hic hey keeper-tender man!" Navi burped towards the bar as they stumbled towards the nearest table, having a seat before the world spun any faster around them. "Get us two shots of your finest bourbon, two beers, another two beers, two glasses of red wine, two more beers, and... ah, a couple o' glasses of milk? Yeah that'll do."
Augy considered his unusually charitable raid partner with a genuine smile, this uncommon kindness the first she'd ever shared - it was a promising gesture, perhaps potentially forming a real bond of brotherhood between them.
"Wow, that's very generous of you!" he nodded in gratitude. "Honestly though, you don't have to..."
Navieka honked violently, hacking blood all over their complimentary basket of stale bread.
"So, what're you gonna have?"
Augy blinked a few times.
"Well for starters, I'm having serious doubts about ever introducing you to my wife and children."
TAH-DAH! HILARIOUS JOKE! … just don’t judge me, man. Okay? I’m going through stuff.
- December 17th, 2019 @ 2:55AM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. High Zealot Navieka puts 10840 gold coins, a log for the ark, the stuff of legend, a dose of reality, a holy smoke generator, a déjà voodoo doll and a chain reactor in her pockets. Xkiarofl left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 3547 gold coins in total as a consolation prize.
A log! A thousandth log! I'm even ready for a flood now. Not that I'm asking for it! Friedrich-Nietzsche, THANK YOU! YOU HELPED PONE FLOAT! YEE! YOUR NAME SHALL FOREVER (until the robots take over) BE ETCHED IN THESE CHRONICLES AND FOR SUCH RECOGNISED AS MY HERO - but you already were for being so nice to me two years ago, hum. Funny how life works. BLESS YOU MY FRIEND!
GIANT HIATUS.
- October 5th, 2020 @ 12:01AM: Notes from the dungeon – The heroes plunder the treasure trove; High Zealot Navieka takes 10020 gold coins, a log for the ark, a portable quest generator, a golden fiddle and a body language translator – Cham Almighty’s Georgina1 is her best friend. WOO! TWO GIRLS ONE DUNGEON!
- November 21st, 2020 @ 10:29PM: Notes from the dungeon – So we got this crap first of all: The deep silence in the underground cave was disturbed by a stern voice: “Welcome to the Maze of Solitude. All bosses have left, leaving traps instead”.
Our heroes randomly left the dungeon via the entrance as I was introducing myself to Me3713. Wonderful. WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?? ROFL! AMAZING!
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Miscellaneous Drivel:
Hey, listen. LOOK! LISTEN TO ME! Are you REALLY into the moon and howling, friend? WE DON’T JUDGE HERE! If so, or not at all, please look up the chats and games in our Guilds’ Headquarters Forum and feel free to join in if you like! ALL RIDICULOUS DEITIES ARE WELCOME – we only ask that you be nice and PLAY NICE with the others.
Life is short; being AWESOME is what separates us from the giant spiders from Mars! We have a new topic in the Main Square Forum you should check out! It’s about your favourite Ideabox submissions and showing them off to everyone immediately!
BE GOOD TO YOURSELVES, LOVELIES! My vengeance will be SWIFT and TERRIBLE if you DARE forsake me. YAY! HOWL WITH US! AWOO-O-OOO! ❤️❤️❤️
P.S.: My dearest cat sister Cassia Rainsonne is not available for cuddles outside of my allowance. My mother Deep Snow and her partner Unfair Maiden accept hugs, except they will either eat you or charge you money for such – either or it’s worth it. Much love to Queenclaire, Cham Almighty, and Llamaking!
P.P.S. – Please make sure to conform to Twifight Sparkill’s every demand, whether required to by law or requested under duress – compliance is STRICTLY mandatory. Don’t take her too literally or very seriously, either.
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- I’m on the Godville Discord most of the time these days. Feel free to join me for fun and live chat! It’s a great way to warm up to how much everyone here sucks! ME ESPECIALLY! In all seriousness though, please come by. It’s loads of hilarity! I’VE MET SO MANY OF YOU AMAZING FOLKS AND I LOVE YOU ALL! COME SAY HELLO TO THE MESSED-UP PONY! SHE WILL BE THERE! Although likely sleeping/lurking. Lazy bitch.
- Random Old Poetry for Arona Almighty: “Oh well. I can’t control the weather, I can’t mend broken hearts; I walk the world in pieces yet I’ve never fixed the parts. My mind is like a dying wolf – it eats and kills and howls; beneath it is a blackened heart, and emptied gutted bowels. Measure the worth of ill intend, then balance it out in kind: it equals all my hopelessness, and hate I’ve yet to find.”
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