level 74

♞It's only a flesh wound♞

Age 9 years 6 months
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 164 thousand
Death Count 49
Wins / Losses 393 / 46
Temple Completed at 04/09/2012
Wood for Ark 33.5%
Savings 4M, 881k (16.3%)
Pet Santa claws Pinky


Weapon sea saw +87
Shield static field +85
Head happy new ear +84
Body armored tank top +86
Arms gadget arms +83
Legs plumsoles +88
Talisman Orb of Incremental Idiocy +87


  • brain dilution level 58
  • glance of Kaa level 51
  • strike of the rabbit level 50
  • cobweb gulp level 50
  • swear-o-matic level 50
  • rickrolling level 49
  • disarming smile level 47
  • concrete placer level 44
  • scissorhands level 40
  • full throttle level 30




  • Honored Favorite
  • Animalist, 1st rank
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Invincible, 1st rank
  • Champion, 2nd rank
  • Coach, 2nd rank
  • Fiend, 2nd rank
  • Hunter, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Shipwright, 2nd rank
  • Careerist, 3rd rank
  • Martyr, 3rd rank
  • Renegade, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

So, one day in your hero’s wandering travels they were accosted by a vicious monster, and their faithful sidekick sacrificed themselves for your hero’s survival.

Now what? Do you just give up on them? Do you let your hero carry the corpse of their friend around until there is no longer any hope of bringing him/her back?

I say NO! There IS a way to bring them back from the dead!

“How?”, you say. “Isn’t it nearly impossible!?”, you whine.

Buck up my friends, take heed to my words fellow gods, there is a way, and it WORKS nearly EVERY TIME!!!

You WILL have to take an active roll in this matter, it will take time and effort and quite a few charges. There are a few conditions that have to be met for this to work; Temple owners, jump to the bottom, for temple specific directions.

First: you have to finish a quest.

Second: you have to have a health bar in the red.

Third: you need about 450gold per pet level.

“How do I do all that?”, you ask?

Easy, you micro manage your hero for a while.

First thing you do is goad your hero into traveling as far from Godville as possible while on their quest. KEEP them healed, up to the point that they have around 5-10% of their quest left. At this point, let their health slowly drop down into the red, but not TOO low! As soon as their health bar turns red, start spamming a specific god voice at them, “Complete your quest faster!”, do this when they are moving forward in their quest, not during battle or traveling to/from town. This will randomly give them additional progress in their quest, and should end it rather quickly. The best situation to hope for is to end the quest far away from Godville with an EMPTY, or nearly so, invintory with your hero’s health at about 15-20% or so.

Now that you have achieved the first two requirements, you need to gather the funds. This is why I say you need to be as far from Godville as possible. You are now going to spend the WHOLE return trip instructing your hero to dig or search for gold and treasure. The godvoice I personally use is “Search for gold and treasure my minion!”, it works for me. Discounting the failed attempts, there are a few possibilities when your hero actually listens to you;

First: they dig through the sand and come up with a small amount of gold.

Second: they dig up a random artifact/item. (thus the empty inventory)

Third: They dig up a treasure chest with a small amount of gold, ~200-500 or so.

Fourth: Jackpot, they dig up a treasure chest with ~1000-5000gold

Fifth: they find a gold brick.

After your hero responds, succeed or fail, wait 30-45 seconds to instruct him/her again so as not to waste too many godvoice attempts.

Remember, though, do NOT encourage/punish your hero on the way back to Godville, as this might heal your hero, or worse yet, smelt some of your hard earned gold into a brick, making it harder to build up the funds needed for your goal! This is why I recommend starting your trip back with your health bar red, but not TOO low, so you have a cushion of HP to cover the random events that can hurt your hero. You have to reach Godville with your health bar still red for this to work!

If you can reach Godville with these conditions met, you are in luck! They won’t bother with new equipment, or waste funds in the local tavern. Your hero will sell off his/her inventory (Maybe buy potions (upgrade skills??)), heal, fiddle around with their temple, and then PRAY to you! Your hero’s pet has finally been returned to them, safe and sound!

I’m not sure of the triggers for skill purchase, so unfortunately there is a possibility of it happening. :(

Temple Owners:

Retirement is playing havoc with rezing pets atm

One of the wonderful side benefits of temple ownership is you no longer smelt bricks when you influence. You are going to use that to your advantage. :)

The best and quickest way to rez your pet I have found thus far is to jump in the arena with as many bold items in your inventory as possible. You can achieve this by using miracles to gather bolds, until you have all but three inventory spots full. Jump in the arena and, when you’re done, win or lose (hopefully win :) ) while selling your loot, influence like crazy, to get the extra gold/items you can. Then wait for your hero to pray. Unless they have wasted gold upgrading skills you should have your faithful sidekick back!!

The benefit of this approach is you can try every 3+ hours whenever you can jump in the arena, instead of having to wait until you finish a quest far away from Godville, if they buy skills instead of saving their gold for pet resurrection. :)