0001 – I awoke this morning like a new man, no really, a brand spanking new man!!! I have no idea who I am, where I am, how i got here and why! I awoke in a barn just like baby Jesus did in the pop-up book my mother gave me…..Wait, how did I know that?......... Puzzling still, what’s a pop-up?..... And as fast as the memory popped in my head the information fleeted from my mind just as fast…. What day is it, or WHAT year is it, oh well I have this uncanny sense for adventure now, and for some reason to become a hero in this meek two dimensional world…..Where did this journal come from?
0100 – After searching around I seem to have located some basic essentials a spoon, a jar of peanut butter, and a roll of tum’s. So I start my new adventure in this strange land
0130 – I found a knight to train me in sword play, he seems very shady, better keep mom’s buck knife hidden….There it is again, how did I know that?
0256 – The Late Knight bled thick, gooey slime. The smell was more pungent than a pile of rotting guts! I held my breath, picked up a green fairy in a bottle, and hustled away.
0449 – Searched for memory lane, but couldn’t remember the directions.
0611 – Noticed a less fortunate hero who looked like he was starving. Left him some money so he could afford a good dinner.
1220 – Just got hit with a can of living soda. Thank god it was a soft drink!
2339 – A stranger came close to me and whispered: ‘Klaatu barada nikto.’
0334 – Shouted ‘For my one true god!’ so loudly that even the distant echo scared me.
2210 – Ate. Prayed. Killed something.
1359 – Smoked a peace pipe with some wandering minstrels.
0304 – A fierce rustling in my backpack ended with an aura of abstinence appearing around me. Nice.
0350 – Somehow I’ve managed to travel to the edge of the earth and try not to fall off of it. Found a chest full of money. Gonna go and bust a move.
0532 – This time, Smoot Puppie was too strong. That’s ok, I’ll have my revenge next time.
05:18 PM Nessie glows and his eyes sparkle. It seems that my brute just achieved a new level.
01:08 PM Found a new quest written on the billboard near the town hall: pin the tail on the donkey.
12:32 PM I’ve managed to experience a plot-twist. My titanic efforts were rewarded with a golden brick and some pocket change!
10:52 AM The trader was impressed by my “Knights who say Ni” guild membership card. Received street gang leader’s sneakers as a free gift.
02:27 AM An old sage from the ivory tower asked me to experience a plot-twist. I hope the reward for this will be good.
00:12: Dreamt I was eating a huge marshmallow. When I awoke, my pillow was gone.
08:43: I looked into the kind eyes of the vanquished monster and suddenly decided — Firefox, you’ll be my pet! And I’ll call you Oy. Bandaged his wounds, gave him a treat and fastened the leash.
01:29: Oy knocked over some candles in the temple. What a clumsy oaf! We hid behind a curtain and watched as a priest put out the flames with some holy water from a basin. Don’t worry, my Lord, it was a public temple and they don’t pray to you anyway…
01:42: Can you hear me, Mighty One? I’m never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
20:35: Found out that toxic waste doesn’t give you superpowers.