06:42 pm Walked up to a Rockin’ Troll and in a conspiratorial voice whispered: “Kitties Go Rawr”. The monster went pale with fear and ran away, leaving behind a bag of gold coins.
08:13 am Ran into Kallisto Waters at the tavern and ended up betting on a drinking contest. Long story short, Great One, I’m out 2319 coins, the tavern is a wreck, and the barkeep is considering a restraining order.
01:07 pm Look! It’s a bird! No, it’s a plane! Ok, all right. I accept it. I’m bad at origami.
06:49 pm Kodi Sommers asked me if I could finish her quest to find a dozen fresh rooster eggs for her. I’d do anything to help a frie… Hey! She hasn’t even started!
09:06 pm I’m not talking to you, Great One. I’ve had this new hairdo for a week and you haven’t even noticed.
09:17 pm I am a leaf on the wind… Watch how I soar.
11:37 pm The Hall Minotaur claimed that when it was done with me, I’d be sleeping with the fishes. I guess that must be where mermaids come from.
03:22 pm From now on, I shall completely devote myself to my quest, my Lord! I shall not deviate from… Oooh! A little puppy!
08:57 pm Someone once told me: “You are what you eat.” I must be pretty nuts then.
04:04 pm Talked with Daman Thorrison from 50 milestones away using smoke signals. I love this instant messaging thing.
10:42 pm Looked for a diamond in the rough, but I kept finding these useless golf balls.
10:51 pm Jumped out to ambush a passing Swiss Army Knight, but it turned out to be Kodi Sommers wearing some outlandish armor instead! We had a good laugh about it, and I managed not to tell her how silly she looked.
10:38 am A giant cable descended from the sky, wrapped itself around me, and re-energized my body. Thanks, my Lord, but we need to talk about where to plug it in next time.
02:26 pm The Prosthetic Arms Dealer bit me and swallowed enough of my blood to get drunk. It was easy to defeat after that! Got 40 coins to make up for the blood loss.
11:33 pm Came to a sign reading “The point of no return”. Took a step past it, then stepped back and giggled.
11:15 am A wind nymph proved to me that if she blew in one of my ears hard enough air would come out of the other. Mind blown.
09:53 pm It was an epic fight: swords clashed, sparks flew, blood poured, tummies were tickled… Hey, don’t laugh! I was serious!
10:37 pm Found a note with an old saying that read: “When you find yourself in the company of a dwarf and an ill-tempered dragon, remember: you do not have to outrun the dragon… just the dwarf."
04:31 pm Found a crashed whale in an open field. Got lost in thought.
09:04 pm Saw a little bunny rabbit hopping in front of a cave with bones strewn all around it. Something tells me I should walk the other way.
09:29 am Had an epiphany. Every sentence is an innuendo, if I think long and hard about it.
07:13 pm Ran into Kodi Sommers. She distracted the monster with some magic tricks, giving me time for a quick prayer.
11:13 am When I turned around, the trader and his whole shop mysteriously vanished. When I turned back again, they both reappeared… What is this sorcery?
11:20 am Monsters are so strange. It was nice of this Flugelhornet to give me a warm bath while I was unconscious. Unfortunately, I don’t like celery and carrots in my bath water. And the water was a bit too warm. So I gathered my stuff and moved on before it returned.
09:34 am Saw a homeless beaver begging by the side of the road. Didn’t give a dam.
08:05 pm Omnipotent One, you know how we each have a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other? Should I be concerned that my angel has wrapped my devil with duct tape?
09:38 am Decided to trade with the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I dealt it a fatal blow and got 15 coins and a destruction manual in exchange.editors note: I think I just proved the church of the flying spaghetti monster was going to bring the apocalypse.
08:06 pm Screw this quest. I’m going home.
02:05 pm I was writing a terrifying story about an epic battle with a cruel monster, but the diary entry appeared to be limited to 140 characters.
11:22 pm Yelled ‘Kitties Go Rawr’ at the Personal Drainer and it died laughing. Found 34 coins.
07:51 pm The light switch was right inside. The black hole turned into a star. Who knew that was how that worked? My quest to venture into a black hole and turn on the light has been completed! Received some experience and a wish for good luck.
01:56 pm Stumbled across a sign that read: “Warning: typographical errors will be punished by intsant dea….”
12:18 pm Found a yellow submarine at the seashore yesterday, but it was infested with beetles so I let it be.
08:14 pm If an Ent falls in the forest and there’s no one around to hear it, do the trees laugh?
11:23 pm Came to a sign reading “The point of no return”. Took a step past it, then stepped back and giggled.
04:43 pm As I trudged through the forest, I met a very fat knight named Sir Cumference. He said he acquired his shape from too much pi.
08:08 pm A glowing fairy came along shouting, ‘HEY, LISTEN!’ I swatted it out of the air.
10:15 pm Looted the lair of the slain Cookie Monster. Found an old group photo. Darn, we went to school together!
10:06 pm From now on, I shall completely devote myself to my quest, Luminous One! I shall not deviate from… Oooh! A little kitty!
06:31 PM Who’s to say I have a screw loose? Maybe everyone else’s screws are too tight. 06:33 pm Walked on the wild side, saw things that made me blush.
08:55 PM Heard some other heroes talking about getting stuck in walls and skipping milestones. I’m not too bothered. I’ve got 99 problems but a glitch ain’t one.
11:35 PM Summoned my spirit guide to ask how best to achieve my destiny. Saw a vision of a sloth shrugging.
06:37 PM Chanced upon Kallisto Waters nearly drowning in a giant vat of honey wine. Selflessly drank almost all of the beverage, allowing her to escape to safety. A friend in mead is a friend indeed.
01:33 PM As I delivered the final strike to Air Guitarist, it yelled “Today is opposite day!”. I perished and the Air Guitarist looted my corpse. Felt like I had been fooled.