Early on in my infancy, I would never listen to my Higher Power, and I would waste ALL my money at the bar, instead of purchasing a really good weapon, I would pick up a Broken Stick and use that. Funny thing is, I would actually pay the Trader’s for that Broken Stick. I actually walked around for a few days with a Traffic Cone on my head, using it as a form of armor.
I also received a quest, “Learn to Quit Drinking”, and I managed to nocompleyte this quest, the entire time I was DRUNK! I even had to pay 1885 Gold Coins for my booze bill and all the damage that I somehow managed to do to the bar. Don’t ask me, I blacked out!! At least I didn’t wake up sleeping with a donkey or some other crazy monster!
At times I feel like I am in a cartoon and that wascally wabbit Bugs Bunny will pop out of a hole and say, “He should of made a left turn at Albuquerque!!”
Through out my travels I have learned that the town merchants are either monsters in disguise or are part of the Monsters R Merchants Syndicate, so be careful. That is how monsters get their loot. Bribe when necessary!
I also found out that My Lord and Savior is a Peeping Tom (God) ever since they got this special ability called, “Third Eye”
I got so confused I didn’t know what to spend my gold coins on anymore! Booze, Gold Bricks, Skill Books, Praying, Equipment, or more Booze? Booze it is!!
I found out that the moon is made out of; Out of this World Cheese and tasted so great, that is why there is only a little bit left. That is okay, because the moon will soon disappear for a day, and start regenerating itself. It is a Self-Regenerating Out of this World Cheesy Moon!
Maybe next someone will ask for my bank account number because a long lost relative died and they will send their Gold Coins directly into my bank after I have to send them Gold Coins to pay for the lawyer fee’s! Damn scams!
Ahhhhhh! My BYOB Guild Card, much better than American Express or Visa card! I get free equipment!!
I wish I could learn how to repair my own equipment, or have it repaired while I am at the bar!!
I had to fight a Sun Dog, and after I beat him up, I looked into his eyes and realized, he was going to be my traveling companion and I’ll name him Boo!! My first pet ever! I am so excited!!
Do you know something? I think I am getting worse instead of better at being a Heroine.. Am I somehow losing experience points instead of gaining them? Did Boo steal some of my experience points? Why do I keep dying?!!?
In a drunken stupor someone tried to get me to abandon my current guild and join a new guild! Damn haters! I was lucky my Lord and Savior was sober and pointed this out to me! Thank you for the quick thinking My Lord, because I would of had to start the Careerist Achievement all over, and would of lost my friends!
For some odd reason I had to empty a lake with a spoon and while doing that I came across a carnivorous plant that emits a scent of beer! I saw many hero’s and heroines entrapped by this new plant that I will call beeranium! All they need now is a traveling Beertown, that would be LIT most Omnipotent One!
While traveling, a Undead Pixie granted me a honorary comrade of the Common Monsters’ Revolution!!
I spent all my money on Gold Bricks, equipment, skill upgrades, weapon warranty’s, and other stuff I didn’t need. Because of this, I have lost my first pet Boo. Sorry Boo, I couldn’t curb my spending to have you recovered by the priests! I am so sorry! I even Paid 1135 Gold Coins to attend a seminar on money-saving techniques.
R.I.P. Boo (Day 91) An excellent Sun Dog (Level 14), my first pet. Boo will be missed!
On Day 99, I found my second pet, a Dust Bunny I called Sven!
I got a notarized document stating I died fewer times then I thought from a black briefcase! I wonder what would happen if I find more of those documents than I have died? Do I become Immortal, Undead, or Unborn?? Hmm… I am going to have to experiment with that. I MUST FIND MORE NOTARIZED DOCUMENTS!!! Help me, my Lord!
I have learned to stop wasting my God Power on opening deus ex machina, three times in a row I lost a Gold Brick!! The old rule; Three strikes and your out, applies now!
On Day 230, I completed my temple! Now I have to build an Ark??
On Day 237, I received the Animalist 2nd Rank award.
On Day 328, while I went on a shopping spree and used up all my money on junk items, I let my favorite Level 24 pet, Sven go. He got knocked out and I couldn’t curb my wasteless spending. Thanks Great Random!!
On Day 331, I found my third pet, a Solar Bear I will name, Woody!
On Day 500, I received the Animalist 1st Rank award!!
On Day 564, I lost my third pet, a Solar Bear named Woody! who was at Level 31! I just couldn’t stop spending my money at the bar and putting money in the bank!! I am soooooooo sorry! Now I have to find a new PET!!!
On Day 576, I found my fourth pet, a Alpha Centaur that I named Nessie!! Hope he is lucky, or maybe it’s a she? Can’t tell with a Alpha Centaur!!
My last 10 Boss Fights!
- My battle with Zodiyak Chronicle on 12/22/2017 @ 03:13
- My melting of The Snowman Chronicle on 12/27/2017 @ 20:58
- My melting of The Snowman Chronicle #2 on 12/28/2017 @ 12:10
- Pai Ayam and I dug up a Censorcerer Chronicle on 01/19/2018 @ 06:35
- My destruction of Archnemesis Chronicle on 03/15/2018 @ 05:14
- My mutilation of Placeboss Chronicle on 04/10/2018 @ 06:07
- My fight of Awkwarg Chronicle on 07/25/2018 @ 08:25
- My fight of Hellaphant Chronicle on 08/12/2018 @ 18:54
- My destruction of Megaphony Chronicle on 11/09/2018 @ 10:23
- My mutilation of a Archnemesis Chronicle on 11/17/2018 @ 07:28
On Day 1085, I died for the 79th time! The Great Random really must hate my guts!! :(
Here are the last few snippets from my Diary, and my Thoughts.
______________________________________________________________________
Day 970 (2 years 230 days);
Los Demonos Miracle;
05:30 AM As the earth rippled, a statue of the founder of “BYOB” guild appeared in the market square. Surely the townsfolk will talk about this for a long time.
Los Demonos Encouragement;
05:35 AM A group of fans from a rival guild were in Los Demonos spreading the word about their “Blue Feather” guild, when suddenly their pants burst into flames. They ran off screaming and I smoothly took over, assuring the townspeople about BYOB’s non-combustible attire.
Hey! Wake up!!
12:24 PM Couldn’t stand having to fight both fate and the Bone Corrector.
Thanks!!
01:05 PM I was resurrected in a metropolitan temple by the will of the Almighty. Thank you, Great One!
Day 984;
Died again!!
07:46 PM Thought I could take the R2 Detour. Turned out I was wrong… dead wrong.
Thanks!;
05:38 AM Thanks for the timely resurrection, Gentle One. I wonder if I remembered to leave myself anything in my will.
Godville Miracle #1;
05:39 AM Crop circles appeared in the fields around Godville bearing a striking resemblance to the crest of “BYOB”! I hope the damage doesn’t affect beer production, Almighty.
Godville Miracle #2;
05:39 AM A freak gust of wind blew my guild promotion flyers out of my hands. Amazingly, a sudden vortex then dispersed the flyers, sending one into the letterbox of every household in Godville! Truly, “BYOB” will blow all other guilds away in this town.
Day 987;
Egopolis Encourage;
04:52 PM The “BYOB” theme song blasted from the heavens over the main square as the farmer’s market was showered with confetti in our guild colors. Real subtle publicity there, my Lord.
Egopolis Miracle;
04:52 PM As I entered the town square, a flash mob appeared and sang a rousing rendition of the “BYOB” theme song, along with elaborate choreography, then faded away into the cheering crowd.
Day 990;
Heisenburg Miracle #1;
05:36 PM Incredibly, the front page of every newspaper in town turned into an advertisement for “BYOB”. My guild is definitely going to gain more influence here.
Heisenburg Miracle #2;
05:37 PM A spotlight alerted me to a lowly tramp trying to steal from a shop, so I arrested him in the name of “BYOB”. The shop owner praised my guild in front of the whole town. Thanks for the tip-off, Soul Supreme.
“Day 991*;
Trollbridge Miracle #1;
08:19 PM “BYOB” signs appeared on all the walls and buildings in town in glowing paint. This will show the other guilds that Trollbridge is our territory now, at least until they paint it over again.
Trollbridge Miracle #2;
08:19 PM Incredibly, the front page of every newspaper in town turned into an advertisement for “BYOB”. My guild is definitely going to gain more influence here.
Trollbridge Mieacle #3;
08:23 PM BYOB’s members organized a temporary petting zoo in the main square. The people loved it and no one was accidentally mauled.
Trollbridge Miracle #4;
08:23 PM I was trying to convince a town-dweller of the benefits of joining “BYOB”, when suddenly I split into a hundred clones of myself, who each continued to try to convert the locals before fighting to the death, leaving only me. The lucky residents of Trollbridge shall fondly remember the day they were overrun with a plague as beautiful as this!
Day 992;
Beerburgh Miracle #1;
04:10 PM I was singing the “BYOB” anthem in the town square when three angels swooped down and provided a catchy accompaniment. That tune is really stuck in everyone’s head now.
Beerburgh Miracle #2;
04:11 PM The flagpole bearing the “BYOB” flag grew dramatically in height, channeling a storm of thunderbolts destined for the townsfolk safely into the ground. The grateful inhabitants of Beerburgh will never forget the day they avoided their gods’ wrath.
Day 993;
Herowin Miracle #1;
07:20 PM Local traffic was disrupted by a long entourage of geese crossing the street, squawking loudly: “BYOB!”
Herowin Miracle #2;
07:20 PM I was trying to spread the word about my guild at Herowin’s main square when suddenly thunder boomed and amplified my voice a hundredfold. People here are going to remember the “BYOB” guild for a long time.
Day 1010;
Guess what, boss man?
03:06 AM Et tu, Were-Panther? Then fall, Fribee!
Tanx!!;
08:49 AM I was floating upwards towards feelings of peace and happiness, when my spirit was violently shoved into my body screaming back to life.
Monstro City Miracle;
08:49 AM Every member of “BYOB” in town suddenly grew nearly half an inch taller. The residents of Monstro City are mildly bemused.
Day 1011;
Nibbler got to level 20!!!
08:41 AM Nibbler just shed his skin! Wait, does a grounded hog do that? Anyway, he looks bigger, meaner and cleaner now.
Day 1013;
Los Adminos Miracle;
03:49 PM I was trying to spread the word about my guild at Los Adminos’s main square when suddenly thunder boomed and amplified my voice a hundredfold. People here are going to remember the “BYOB” guild for a long time.
Day 1017;
Trollbridge Miracle;
08:13 PM The “BYOB” theme song blasted from the heavens over the main square as the farmer’s market was showered with confetti in our guild colors. Real subtle publicity there, Mighty One.
Unsettlement Miracle #1;
06:11 AM Every member of “BYOB” in town suddenly grew nearly half an inch taller. The residents of Unsettlement are mildly bemused.
Unsettlement Miracle #2;
06:11 AM A totem pole unexpectedly grew up out of the middle of the main high street in the center of Unsettlement, depicting the face of each and every member of “BYOB” guild! We’ve certainly become more recognizable here, Almighty.
Day 1018;
San Satanos Miracle #1;
06:19 AM Every member of “BYOB” in town suddenly grew nearly half an inch taller. The residents of San Satanos are mildly bemused, but our guild has clearly increased in stature here today.
San Satanos Miracle #2;
06:19 AM A priest suddenly realized that the sacred inscription on the ancient monolith in the town square was actually an anagram of “BYOB”! I made sure to spread the amazing news in all the local taverns.
Day 1019;
I died fewer times than i thought, only 78 times?!
11:14 AM Felt a burning desire to disassemble the mystery box. Found a notarized document inside stating that I’ve died fewer times than I thought. Nice.
Day 1020;
Herolympus Miracle #1;
07:16 AM A sudden tremor rocked the town as a new tavern rose from the ground. I quickly claimed ownership for “BYOB”. I have a feeling that we are going to get more members from Herolympus!
Herolympus Miracle #2;
07:16 AM Local traffic was disrupted by a long entourage of geese crossing the street, squawking loudly: “BYOB!” The townspeople will definitely remember this.
Day 1026;
Last Resort Miracle;
07:59 PM A priest suddenly realized that the sacred inscription on the ancient monolith in the town square was actually an anagram of “BYOB”! I made sure to spread the amazing news in all the local taverns.
Day 1028;
Godville Miracle;
10:52 PM The sky suddenly turned dark and an array of fireworks spelled out “BYOB”, lighting up the sky and mesmerising everyone in Godville. Simply marvelous, my Lord!
Day 1029;
El Herado Miracle #1;
02:27 PM Everybody in the town square suddenly began to sneeze, but their sneezes sounded unsettlingly like “BYOB”! Is that your idea of viral marketing, Luminous One?
El Herado Miracle #2;
02:28 PM The “BYOB” theme song blasted from the heavens over the main square as the farmer’s market was showered with confetti in our guild colors. Real subtle publicity there, Great One.
Day 1040;
San Satanos Miracle;
06:46 AM A bunch of members of BYOB guild got together to reenact the ancient Battle of San Satanos. Apparently no one told the townsfolk, because they’re now convinced we saved them from time-traveling marauders.
Day 1043;
San Satanos Miracle #1;
05:55 AM A spotlight alerted me to a lowly tramp trying to steal from a shop, so I arrested him in the name of “BYOB”. The shop owner praised my guild in front of the whole town. Thanks for the tip-off, Gentle One.
San Satanos Miracle #2;
05:57 AM Just saw a public opinion poll that showed that the citizens of San Satanos feel BYOB is the least annoying guild of all.
Day 1050;
Guess what?;
02:50 PM To fool the Epic Flailer, I fell over and pretended to be dead. Remembered too late that this only works on bears. Guess I won’t have to pretend anymore.
Thanks!!;
02:52 PM I was resurrected in a metropolitan temple by the will of the Almighty. Thank you, Great One!
Day 1069;
Guss what? Dead again, thanks!!;
10:17 AM Shamefully died by the hand of the Gluteus Maximus.
Thanks gor bringing me back to life Chief!!;
06:13 PM Woke up during my own funeral. Received 304 gold coins from the funeral director for increasing his business as some attendees were shocked to death.
.
Day 1070;
San Satanos Miracle #1;
08:54 AM A spotlight alerted me to a lowly tramp trying to steal from a shop, so I arrested him in the name of “BYOB”. The shop owner praised my guild in front of the whole town. Thanks for the tip-off, Soul Supreme.
San Satanos Miracle #2;
08:54 AM A priest suddenly realized that the sacred inscription on the ancient monolith in the town square was actually an anagram of “BYOB”! I made sure to spread the amazing news in all the local taverns.
Day 1085;
Guess what?
05:34 AM Overcome by the Repossessed Soul, I boldly told it “I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.” Well, next life it is then.
Thank you my Lord;
08:37 AM Woke up during my own funeral. Received 291 coins from the funeral director for increasing his business as some attendees were shocked to death.
UNDER CONSTRUCTION – PLEASE EXCUSE MY DUST!