Heroine

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Guenievre 4

level 105

Like a bass...

Age 8 years 11 months
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 432 thousand
Death Count 228
Wins / Losses 2 / 2
Temple Completed at 05/03/2016
Ark Completed at 01/07/2018 (321.3%)
Pairs Gathered at 07/24/2020
Words in Book 27.2%
Savings 14M, 543k (48.5%)
Pet Sun dog Toto
Boss Jaguardian with 82% of power

Equipment

Weapon infernal racket +115
Shield big book of self defence +118
Head beauty pageant tiara +118
Body theme parka +119
Arms hands-free gloves +117
Legs knee-hi flip-flops +117
Talisman dragon's wisdom tooth +116

Skills

  • heel grip level 107
  • radiokinesis level 105
  • inept singing level 97
  • eye scream level 95
  • sword-swallowing level 85
  • cash whistle level 85
  • unbearable boredom level 82
  • fake smile level 78
  • slap of the whale level 75
  • mating contact level 63

Pantheons

Gratitude4621
Might4596
Templehood16568

Achievements

  • Animalist, 1st rank
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Martyr, 1st rank
  • Savior, 1st rank
  • Shipwright, 1st rank
  • Careerist, 2nd rank
  • Freelancer, 2nd rank
  • Hunter, 2nd rank
  • Moneybag, 2nd rank
  • Renegade, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Scientist, 3rd rank
  • Scribbler, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

11/26/21 Poetica feels this one as the goddess of poetry: Continually questioning her own content…

9/22/21 11:26 PM Came to a sign that read, “Road works ahead”. Yeah, I sure hope it does.

8/8/21 10:33 AM Just watched Toto choke on a peanut. Didn’t know we had peanuts though.

8/4/21 Level 101! 07:35 PM In the name of Godville, I have the power! Level 101 is mine, Most Righteous One.

8/2/21 01:48 PM Felt an existential epiphany coming on, but thought, ‘Why bother?’ and continued on my way.

7/26/21 Another huge chest prize! 5 bolds, 1 activatable for an aura, 13000+ gold 06:56 PM Divine forces took the goodies chest and disassembled it without my permission. I should have known that there would be a daydream catcher, a delight bulb, some unnecessary paperwork, a supermassive plot hole, an inconvenient tooth, a strategy guide of life, a friends filter, an ambiance fluxuator, a pun deconstructor and 13583 coins inside.

7/26/21 05:06 PM Somehow managed to go there, do that, get a T-shirt and was rewarded with a special trophy. I wonder if an “I Love Godville” T-shirt is any good?

7/7/21 07:10 PM I am covered in chameleons and no one believes me.

7/4/21 Biggest activatable chest prize yet! 2 activatables, 2 bolds, 8000+ gold! 08:08 PM Divine forces took the goodies chest and disassembled it without my permission. There was a rant proposal, an alchemical transmuter, a traffic sigil, a zen energy pouch, a hero service survey, a bottle of drinking tobacco, a third eye, a dose of reality, a book of dungeon etiquette and 8037 gold coins inside.

6/17/21 First Boss awakened! Jaguardian at 82% power! 04:17 PM It’s alive… It’s alive, it’s moving, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, IT’S ALIVE!

6/11/21 11:26 PM I really need to hire a scribe to write these entries. This Grammar Policeman keeps stabbing me while I lean over my diary.

6/11/21 Most I’ve ever gotten for a side job! Six bolds, one activatable, 11k gold, plus two logs! 11:04 PM Divine forces took the side job bonus and disassembled it without my permission. There was some fuzzy logic, an alchemical transmuter, some bacon powder, a money-tree sapling, the heart of the matter, some deja brew, an astral projector, a supersonic screwdriver and 11090 gold coins inside.

6/11/21 Imagining how different life would be without Toto…

6/8/21 Level 100 at last after six years, one month, and change! 09:01 AM Alright, I’m now level 100! Decided to use my 4 new points on increasing my health.

6/6/21 Happy Sixth Birthday Toto! The goodest boy ever 12:10 AM Sent Toto on a scouting mission into The Cave of Dwarves Glory. He returned with badges for knot-tying and helping people cross the street.

5/23/21 Finally, Gwen decides this whole oval desk thing her Goddess named her after or whatever is overrated. Quest #2707: Put the sword back into the stone

4/29/21 Through the sunshine and rainbows…

4/29/21 I just wanted to reach level 100 and master guildie rank on my Goddiversary! 07:16 PM You know, Great One, it looks like people are passing your saying, “Any chance you wanna level up, Gwen?”, around as a prayer.

4/29/21 01:26 AM Unscrewed the top of my hip flask, and was amazed to hear, “Happy Sixth Goddiversary, Gwen and Toto! Love y’all, keep up the good work” from inside it. That genie’s drunk, I tell you.

3/31/21 Quest #2653: Give Medusa a cut and blow dry

3/31/21 01:12 PM Had a perfectly normal sandwich for lunch.

3/16/21 10:59 PM Soaking wet after hurling my body at a fish. Still haven’t mastered my fishing tackle.

1/25/21 01:04 AM Stuck in crouch mode.

12/23/20 What a bonus! 05:42 PM Divine forces took the side job bonus and disassembled it without my permission. I should have known that there would be a graphics engine, an emergency exit, a can of spam, an abracadabacus, a crumb of wisdom, a philosopher’s stone, the shape of things, a llama lamp and 6517 gold coins inside.

11/16/20 11:28 PM The trader looked at my battery (not included) and said, “Sweet! Now I’ve got the whole set! Worth every one of these 163 coins.”

10/6/20 Moneybags 2nd rank: 10 million gold saved! 12:53 AM Before I deposited 11836 gold coins, we talked about all kinds of stuff, my mother’s maiden name and even what my first pet was. What a friendly town.

8/3/20 A Most Appropriate Quest Start: 10:29 AM For once, I thought of doing something useful, kind, and generous… Nah, I’m going to stage a fundraiser to forgive the debts of the morally bankrupt instead.

7/29/20 A Thousand Pairs! 06:44 AM Having fallen for the bait, a manimal nibbled on my fishing rod and was eyeing me for dessert. Quickly sent him into the ark for his own good.

6/8/20 Beautifully appropriate godvoice by The Unseeing 03:07 PM I heard someone shouting from the trader’s hut: “stealing from you is always a pleasure.”

5/4/20 Fifth Goddiversary and Level 90! 03:20 AM Placed ten bags of gold on the sacrificial altar and yada, yada, yada… Got a nice chunk of experience.

3/16/20 Came back after idling, only to find 17900 gold, 38/50 items (7 bolds, 9 eligible for a huge +26 bingo score), and near full health with half a quest done! 09:27 PM A voice from the skies thundered: “Wow, great job Gwen.” Nice.

11/2/19 First Crossword solved! 11:40 AM I’m basking in your reflected glory, Omnipotent One… Wait a minute, that’s not reflected glory, it’s an aura of pacifism!

9/20/19 08:38 AM Great One… You may hear some rumors at some point. Just remember that I didn’t do it.

9/5/19 04:43 PM Stumbled upon a verse:
GALILEO
galileo
GALILEO
galileo

9/5/19 04:42 PM Saw a verse:
And maybe
you’re gonna be the one that saves me
cuz after all
you’re my Wonderwall

9/5/19 Finally, Poetica’s artistic influence spreads throughout Godville! 04:39 PM Came across a poem:
The Goddess Poetica
deeply appreciates
this new poetic style
and gives it her blessing

2/25/19 10:09 AM Does my goddess wear pants? Should I?

1/25/19 Upon a resurrection – 02:06 AM Cats only wish they had this many lives.

12/16/18 Martyr, 1st rank! 150 deaths, is this something to be proud of? – 07:55 AM Determined not to give the Angel of Debt the satisfaction of killing me again, I killed myself before it could.

12/3/18 The true blessings of the Goddess Poetica, Patroness of the Fine Arts, revealed! – 12:03 AM Wrote some poetic verses about my journey. They were too good to keep to myself, so I performed them in front of an adoring audience of townspeople. They said I have talent.

11/23/18 The cutest orange box prize! Hero of the Day! – 11:03 PM Divine forces took the orange box and disassembled it without my permission. There was a “Hero of the Day” award inside.

10/26/18 01:46 AM Heading back to town. Forgot my toothbrush.

7/5/18 02:48 PM It’s amazing how much I write in this diary!

5/10/18 10:32 PM I would do anything for you, Soul Supreme. Especially if it’s easy.

5/10/18 10:30 PM A wise man said gods don’t play dice with the universe. Here’s 228 gold coins so you can learn, Almighty.

4/2/18 10:10 PM Turned my head to the side and coughed.

3/27/18 Level 70! – 12:38 PM Wow, 70! I don’t get older, I level up!

1/7/18 First Ark completed, two years, eight months running!!! – 01:16 AM It looks like the fish don’t know that this is a fishing spot. Time to take off.

7/3/16 Level 50 at last! – 10:44 PM I’ve grown slightly bigger as I hit level 50. More of me to love, Exalted One!

5/2/16 Temple finally completed, after a year and eleven days!!! – 08:31 PM Carefully placed the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all doors, and cut the ribbon in a stately manner with my sword. I can’t believe it’s finally happened! After all these months of work, the temple in your name is finished, my Lady! I feel crazy with happiness.

5/2/16 100.0% – 07:45 PM After counting as many as I could, I determined there are in fact more milestones than can be counted.
Hope that I won’t have to find out how many milestones there are again. But the reward was good: an extra dose of experience and a shiny golden brick!

4/21/16 Happy First Goddiversary, Gwen! – 11:37 PM Based on current evidence, I remain cautiously optimistic that I am immortal.

4/13/16 Pillowed against Toto, watching the clouds together…

3/22/16 12:54 AM Is it just me, Luminous One, or does life sometimes feel like a randomly generated series of humorous events?

3/14/16 12:15 AM All I ask of life is food, shelter, love, and absolute power over time and space.

3/5/16 08:19 PM While drunkenly stumbling wildly, I accidentally prayed through the medium of interpretive dance.

3/5/16 Toto “Oldie” Level 30! – 09:19 AM Toto glowed and his eyes sparkled. It seems that my brute just achieved a new level.

2/27/16 First Blood! – 06:40 PM Notes from the arena: Hero Of Numbers surrenders. Guenievre definitely fulfilled her god’s expectations today! The winner receives a gold brick and 631 coins. Due to this fight’s special rule, the winner gets three golden bricks instead of one.

1/17/16 01:16 AM A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli!.” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, Almighty!

1/1/16 Temple Halfway Mark! Great way to start the new year – 06:50 PM The Gravitational Field Mouse ripped out my guts and showed them to me. Hey look, a golden brick! I don’t remember eating that.

12/28/15 12:14 AM Ha, pillows are for wimps! Last night I slept on a turtle.

12/1/15 In the Godville Times! – The goddess Poetica is said to have no end of new ideas. This is someone to keep an eye on, claim Godville police.

11/29/15 06:54 3 bricks, 7 bolds, 12000+ gold – PM Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Pickpocketing Scurrying Terracotta Worrier! Guenievre became the owner of 7365 gold coins, eye of the Terracotta Worrier, a golden brick, a golden brick, a golden brick, a pointless fork, a déjà voodoo doll, a least wanted poster, an eye of the storm, a book of common knowledge, a roadmap to glory, a portable stairway to heaven, a supersonic screwdriver, a time amplification device, a bag of jellyfish sticks and a pilates license.

11/29/15 A victory with the help of guildie An0nym0us! 1 brick, 1 bold, 6000+ gold- 05:30 PM Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Nimble Alpacalypse! Guenievre became the owner of 5418 gold coins, a golden brick, a “Best of the Rest” award and a treasure chest expander.

11/8/15 12:26 AM Almighty! Almighty! Wherefore art thou, Almighty?

11/8/15 10:40 PM Was about to sell my heart of the Vertigoat, when a bunch of guards came in, arrested the trader, sequestered my artifact, and gave me 2584 coins as a reward. Fair enough.

11/8/15 2 activatable bolds, 15000+ gold – 09:29 PM Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Scurrying Deafening Auriferous Vertigoat! Guenievre became the owner of 9982 gold coins, heart of the Vertigoat, a flux incapacitor, generic goodness in a bottle and a history eraser.

11/8/15 1 brick, 1 bold, 7000+ gold – 04:39 PM Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Auriferous Leeching Terracotta Worrier! Guenievre got 5128 coins, a golden brick, an apocalypse date generator and a set of Godville action figures.

11/8/15 Another Bossferatu, Gwen’s Worst Enemy, 1 bold, 1 invite, 10000+ gold – 12:10 PM Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Skilled Hulking Bossferatu! Guenievre got 6191 gold coins, a helping hand, a cat’s 9 lives coupon, an invite to Godville, a piece of kryptonite, a golden facepalm, a Rubik’s hypercube and a dream machine.

11/6/15 2 bricks, 5000+ gold – 01:35 AM Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Hulking Nimble Scurrying Giga Byter! Guenievre got 5119 gold coins, a golden brick, a golden brick, a heart of gold, a burn notice and a bottle of holy ale.

11/3/15 10:16 PM I looked, and looked, and couldn’t find any exception to the rule that every rule has an exception. So I guess having the rule must be the exception, unless just having a rule is exceptional. But all heroes are exceptional, just ask them. That must mean I rule!
My quest to find the exception to every rule has brought a very nice reward of 24294 coins right into my pocket! Hope I won’t lose it on my way back…

10/27/15 Happy half-birthday, Gwen! – 03:32 AM Off to new deeds!

10/23/15 01:13 AM Woke up today, only to discover that I’m still incredibly fabulous.

10/20/15 07:13 AM I did it! It didn’t seem like it would fit at first, but I managed to squeeze all of my excitement in! Now how do I unpack it?
My quest to pack a lifetime of excitement into a single day has brought a very nice reward of 23172 coins right into my pocket! Hope I won’t lose it on my way back…

10/12/15 11:18 AM Gave a tree a hug today. It smiled at me as I walked away… It likes hugs.

9/22/15 2 bricks, 11 bolds, 19000+ gold – 10:38 PM Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by the Great Random have defeated the Scurrying Nimble Pickpocketing Bossferatu! Guenievre added 12688 gold coins, eye of the Bossferatu, a golden brick, a golden brick, a plug and play liver transplant, an invite to Godville, a slice of heaven, a chaos engine, a Last Resort postcard, a nuclear fuschia plant, an ACME monster trap, a quantum mechanism, a nap sack, an essence of wealth, the heart of the matter, a disengagement ring, an Enigma machine and a battery antacid to her bag.

8/30/15 08:28 PM Can you hear me, Almighty? I’m never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

8/30/15 08:20 PM Stumbled across my old stomping ground. Stomped on it for old times’ sake.

8/26/15 05:34 PM When I assured the trader that my horn of the Bossferatu was totally worthless, he declared, “We’ll see about that!” and shelled out 1443 coins.

8/26/15 14000+ gold – 05:21 PM Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Skilled Enlightened Hulking Bossferatu! Guenievre got 9189 gold coins, horn of the Bossferatu, a golden brick, a genetic marker, some space-time fabric conditioner, a Godville Admin bobblehead, an exorcise machine, a kitchen synchrotron, a crackerjack prize, a can of uneasy cheese, a center of gravity, a paper trail and a third wheel. The enlightened boss turned out to be a good inspiration for a deep prayer.

6/18/15 08:01 AM Bump.

6/13/15 11:32 PM Why won’t these rocks eat the rock candy I bought for them?

6/13/15 03:46 PM When the trader saw my lucky paw of the Alpacalypse, he began to hyperventilate. Pointing his shaking finger at it, he exclaimed, “That is… That is…” and handed me 980 gold coins without further delay.

6/13/15 03:29 PM Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Pickpocketing Scurrying Alpacalypse! Guenievre got 5166 coins, lucky paw of the Alpacalypse, a golden brick, a rainbow feather, a chrono trigger, a comic timer and a candy gram.