Godville

Eons ago, in the past, yesterday, a hero was born in a pool of mud. Two wandering warriors of foreign descent, found the dirty fetus wallowing in the mud and decided to raise it as their own because the Amazon was barren….or the Spartan was shooting blanks…I can’t remember. At age 2 they taught him how to kill an ogre with a piece of Melba toast. At 3 he could eat a rock and regain +100 intellect even though it was useless because his parents were raising him to be a DPS Melee warrior. At 5 he could control his body’s natural energy and shoot it from his hands in a dazzling display of light and power, destroying anything in his path. Word of the epic toddler was spreading fast and people from all over the world came to witness such prowess. Even the far east dedicated an animated tv show to the child, but cleverly changed the first letter of his name to a ‘G’ to avoid copyright infringement because Doku was indeed copyrighted for merchandising at this point. By the time he was 22 he learned to read and write…What? Warriors don’t need to know how to do that! It was on that fateful day of his 24th birthday…his family was brutally murdered by the Doppler Radar Gang. Pain was in their 7 day forecast after Doku found the bodies of his parents. He shed not one tear because they died an honorable death. His father on the toilet, and his mother reading women porn aka a romance novel. He picked up the last piece of Melba toast and buttered it before he went searching for the Doppler Radar Gang. On his way out he tripped and got a stone bruise…he died eventually from his wounds…This is not the same hero as you see before you. The hero you see before you is the reincarnated soul of Doku that was spawned in another mud fetus. I found this mud fetus and decided to train him to be my hero. For my glory!