Heroine

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Pro Tagonist 6

level 128
trader level 5

Like OhMG, Fer sure!

Age 12 years 11 months
Personality neutral
Guild Guild by Association
(associate)
Monsters Killed about 916 thousand
Death Count 287
Wins / Losses 107 / 66
Temple Completed at 06/15/2012
Ark Completed at 06/15/2015 (566.2%)
Pairs Gathered at 02/03/2018
Book Written at 08/16/2023
Souls Gathered 15.36%
Shop “Bricks and Mortar”
Pet Fail whale Stitch 24th level
Boss Dungeon Sweeper with 72% of power

Equipment

Weapon weapon of mass distraction +141
Shield blame deflector +140
Head blindfold of accuracy +139
Body slate mail armour +138
Arms going-going gauntlets +140
Legs reservoir clogs +139
Talisman shadow puppet +141

Skills

  • forced generosity level 160
  • battle chess level 159
  • quantum leap level 153
  • contagious yawning level 145
  • dove of peace level 136
  • drunken rampage level 136
  • teeth gnashing level 132
  • selfish interest level 125
  • fake smile level 105
  • tin throat level 94

Feats

  • ⓷ Get featured in the newspaper as a famous hero
  • ⓵ Die to a monster and lose 15k gold

Pantheons

Gratitude107
Might811
Templehood1152
Gladiatorship3601
Storytelling182
Mastery568
Taming809
Survival1863
Savings583
Arkeology317
Catch327
Wordcraft1026
Soulfulness1065
Unity150
Popularity136

Achievements

  • Honored Animalist
  • Honored Favorite
  • Honored Shipwright
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Martyr, 1st rank
  • Moneybag, 1st rank
  • Savior, 1st rank
  • Scribbler, 1st rank
  • Careerist, 2nd rank
  • Champion, 2nd rank
  • Freelancer, 2nd rank
  • Hunter, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Scientist, 3rd rank
  • Soulcatcher, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

Last updated: 2012-08-22 (markup changes)

Sing Along with the OhMG Hymnal (presented with limited commercial interruption)

  1. Pro Tag of Godville
  2. The Ballad of Pro Tagonist
  3. One Night in Godville

Pro Tag of Godville 1

  • Now this is the story of Protagonist,
  • A quick little tale that shouldn’t be missed.
  • It’ll take me just a minute, sit back and chill,
  • To tell you how she became hero in a town called Godville.
  • A girl of the Valley both born and raised,
  • At the beach and the mall she spent most of her days.
  • Chilling out, relaxing, nary a frown,
  • Until an innocent trip turned life upside down.
  • In the City of Angels and divine Holy Wood
  • She discovered OhMG and the power of good.
  • Once she saw the light, heathens began to resist her,
  • And her greatest adversary was her own father’s sister.
  • So she left her home and finally made her way
  • To Godville as OhMG’s beloved devotee.

Does your God sound Daffy when you duel? Drowning you in demands to “Ho! Ha ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!” like a demented duck? Consider Divine Intervention with a professional voice coach.     Metatron : the Name you can Trust.

The Ballad of Pro Tagonist 2

  • Come ’n listen to my story ’bout Pro Tagonist
  • A simple valley girl, always givin’ it her best
  • And then one day, she was hangin’ with some dude
  • When with the holy spirit she was suddenly imbued
  • God, that is, Goddess: OhMG!
  • Well, the first thing you know, dear Pro’s a heroine
  • Kin folk said, Girl, leave this land of sun and sin
  • Said, yonder Godville is the place that suits your skills
  • So she loaded up her gear and headed for the hills
  • Godville, that is, Arenas, Temples, heroes…

And now a quick word from Pat Paulsen, speaking for the Guild by Association recruitment committee: “We’re upping our standards. So up yours.”

One Night in Godville 3

  • Godville: fantasy game setting
  • But the players don’t know what the city is getting
  • The creme de la creme of heroics in a
  • Show with everything but Chuck Norris
  • Time flies — doesn’t seem a minute
  • Since every teeny town has a guild hall in it
  • Must quest. Don’t you know that when you
  • Play at this level there’s no ordinary venue
  • It’s Beerburgh, or Los Adminos, or Trollbridge
  • Or…
  • Or this place!
  • One night in Godville for a drunken bender
  • God wants a temple, but gold bricks ain’t free
  • You’ll find your god demands a place of splendor
  • But if you’re lucky then your god’s easy
  • I can see a rainbow stretching over me
  • One town’s very like another
  • When you’re questing for gold pieces, brother
  • It’s a drag, it’s a bore, it’s really such a pity
  • To be snookered by some crook when shopping in the city
  • Whaddya mean?
  • Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town
  • Town girls, warm and sweet
  • But they slap you around
  • If you treat them like fresh meat.
  • Get bent, you’re talking like a tourist
  • Every hero here is among the purest
  • We get our kicks from fighting monsters, baby
  • One night in Godville makes a hero humble
  • Not much between despair and ecstasy
  • One night in Godville and the tough guys tumble
  • Can’t be too careful with your diety
  • I can feel the lightning bolts which threaten me
  • Godville’s gonna be the witness
  • To the ultimate test of heroic fitness
  • Duels grip me more than any
  • Chariot race or wild animal frenzy
  • Cause my God is up there watching the game,
  • Controlling it
  • I don’t see you guys waiting
  • On the kind of god I’m venerating
  • I’d let you play, that would be alright
  • But I just don’t have a Godville invite
  • So, you better go back to your bars,
  • Your temples, your hospitals…
  • One night in Godville for a drunken bender
  • God wants a temple, but gold bricks ain’t free
  • You’ll find your god demands a place of splendor
  • A little flesh, a little history
  • I can see a rainbow stretching over me
  • One night in Godville makes a hero humble
  • Not much between despair and ecstasy
  • One night in Godville and the tough guys tumble
  • Can’t be too careful with your diety
  • I can feel the lightning bolts which threaten me

Tune in again next week, when you’ll hear Pro Tagonist say: “A disgusting odor fills the air… Is there a terrifying creature nearby? Or maybe it’s just me… Yeah, it’s me.”

————————————————————

Music credits:

1 The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air by Will Smith

2 The Ballad of Jed Clampett by Paul Henning

3 One Night in Bangkok by Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus

All lyrics by OhMG

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Special bonus: Formatting tips for Chronicles

  • Markup is similar to that used in the forums. So far, I haven’t found a specific markup scheme which matches 100% to what works here, although it appears to be a variant of Textile.
  • Text formatting
    • *bold*
    • _italics_
    • -strikethrough-
    • ^superscript^
    • to hyperlink, just enter a URL
    • to hyperlink with different display text: "display text":URL
  • Paragraph/line formatting
    • start a line with bq. to blockquote
    • to make a list, start a line with * (bulleted) or # (numbered)
    • for nested lists, append another * or # to the start of the line
      • for example, this line begins with ***