by advisement of my lord i shall seek a better doctor that is no longer practicing.
After all these years of adventuring, and killing monsters, and drinking beer, I have not matured to the same level as some of my peers. Maybe if I weren’t always staggering I would gain experience faster.
I guess my Lord named me right.
new guild rank, factotum, because I can do it all
Ribbit….
Today was a wash. i discovered this morning that all these years, i have been wearing my shoes on the wrong feet.
The feeling i had from this great discovery soon took a back seat to the horror i felt when I discovered the out of order sign on the outhouse.
My lord was so amused by my circumstances that he shared them with the false Gods in the idea box.
Today was a bad day. I tripped on a rock and when I hit the ground my chocolate got peanut butter all over it. I hated to throw away good supplies, but nobody would want chocolate with peanut butter on it.
Boiled some eggs for breakfast, but then decided I would prefer to have them fried. Guess I will try to freeze them and see if they will be raw again so I can start over.
I’ve been rubbing this bottle for hours…and still no Genie.
Feeling more like I do now than I did a little while ago.
admiring the pantina on my old armor.
caught a godvilla today… reckon I’ll raise the little feller up on biscuits and mustard mmhmm
Through purely scientific research, i have concluded that my head shrinks when i drink beer. i passed out last night with my head between the rungs in the stairwell, and this morning when i woke, my head was too big to pull back out.
the evidence is overwhelming…. maybe i should stop fighting monsters and consider a career in scientifical research.
I really should do something with my life… maybe tomorrow.
I didn’t fall, i am just spending some quality time with the floor.
If the future is shaped by my dreams, I should stop wasting time and go to sleep.
I don’t mean to interrupt people, I just randomly remember things and get really excited!!
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.
Avoiding the valley and the shadow of death.
today i asked my guild members to read my Chronicles in a shameless attempt at self promotion. Hope it works.
the trader convinced me to trade him my list of dreams for this list of chores. somehow i feel like i made a bad deal.
found a can of my favorite “Itchy wiskers” brand pickled sardines, but lost the key to open them. Why me Great one, why me?
calculating the concaved convection curve of cosmic collisions and considering their consequences on climatic conditions…..well really just trying to figure out what those words mean.
replaced the cats litter with pop rocks….bwahaha…now I wait
Woke this morning and found my Chronicles in the best sellers list!!!
My Lord always has a way of teaching me about the jealousy of false Gods.
Thanks Misterlee, for showing me once again that you are the ONE TRUE god in all of Godville.
Tonight my lord sent me to the arena, I boldly went forth with my weapon in one hand, my fist balled up and my chest puffed out. No one dared to enter the arena with the mighty Staggering.
All must fear the power of my lord Misterlee.
My lord is definitely displaying his omnipotent might today, showering me with his blessings and elevating me above all other heros in Godville in the pantheon of creation.
wondering what i should do next…. it hurts.
never trust atoms, they make up everything.
yes lord, i drink brake fluid….but I can stop at any time.
my Lord said learning by doing is the school of hard Knox, and that the hard Knox are what push the lesson in.
judging by my lumps, bruises, scars and death count… I must have a master’s degree by now.
Today i helped Medusa remove an ingrown hair.
Today my guild members elected me as leader for the second time. That will look great on my resume!!10/30/17 09:07AM
I don’t mean to interrupt people, I just randomly remember things and get really excited
/Diary/ Approved
My neighbor started knocking on my temple door at 2:30 AM. can you believe it? 2:30 AM!!! Lucky for him i was still up playing my drums.
My Lord resurrected me for the 150th time today.
because i am Soo good looking
11:46 AM Somehow won first prize in a beauty contest, despite not being eligible to take part, or even being present at the event! Dedicated my victory to “First Pantheon of Progress” guild before the bemused citizens of Godville, who won’t forget this in a hurry.
My lord left me to my own will for some time. I don’t know why because I’m not good at making decisions. But in the absence of Mrlee’s Devine guidance I left my guild of seven years and joined a guild I have never heard of. This can’t be good for my retirement fund. I prayed to my lord to send me back home, but Mrlee told me that I made my bed, and now I have to sleep in it.
Many moons have past, and I have tried many new guilds, but none have kept me long. Melee said all I need is his Devine guidance. Yes my lord has raised me beyond loyalty to groups of men. There is only loyalty to the almighty Mrlee
Well what do you know….I the all drinking Staggering am 10 years old. It seems like Mrlee would let me retire soon
Since I don’t get along with anyone MrLee has lead me to start a new guild “Ruthless”
Mwahaha, this will be fun.
08:51 AM Went to the main square, took off my armor and showed off my recently appeared stigmata to the stunned townspeople. The residents were gazing at the sky in terror. They will remember you, Great One!