Hero

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Maxagent 5

level 129

Supersly agent guyℜ ☥丯🐙

Age 6 years 6 months
Personality gentle
Guild Nautilus
(nautiest)
Monsters Killed about 487 thousand
Death Count 46
Wins / Losses 661 / 740
Temple Completed at 06/03/2018
Ark Completed at 06/15/2019 (372.5%)
Pairs Gathered at 02/26/2021
Book Written at 10/10/2023
Souls Gathered 16.1%
Savings 27M, 542k (91.8%)
Pet Alpha centaur Thumper 33rd level
Boss Sinfluencer with 334% of power

Equipment

Weapon vacuum cleaver +140
Shield mental defense +141
Head ninth circlet of hell +143
Body all weather tire +142
Arms oktoberfists +143
Legs life socks +139
Talisman null pointer +138

Skills

  • fanned fingers level 125
  • deafening snore level 124
  • peek-a-boo level 122
  • mass effect level 118
  • brain dilution level 118
  • teeth gnashing level 116
  • asynchronous swimming level 114
  • full throttle level 108
  • lucky hoof level 106
  • lossy compression level 106

Feats

  • ⓶ Turn in a side job in the last ten minutes
  • ⓶ Feed hungry tribbles with regular ones
  • ⓵ Dig up and defeat three bosses
  • ⓵ Die to a monster and lose 15k gold

Pantheons

Gratitude2585
Might718
Templehood26700
Gladiatorship480
Storytelling136
Mastery1265
Taming500
Survival101
Savings997
Creation2759
Arkeology1907
Catch1945
Wordcraft1131
Soulfulness1049
Duelers1143
Unity7
Popularity7
Duelery14
Adventure6

Achievements

  • Honored Animalist
  • Honored Careerist
  • Honored Favorite
  • Honored Hunter
  • Honored Raider
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Champion, 1st rank
  • Freelancer, 1st rank
  • Miner, 1st rank
  • Savior, 1st rank
  • Scribbler, 1st rank
  • Seadog, 1st rank
  • Shipwright, 1st rank
  • Coach, 2nd rank
  • Fiend, 2nd rank
  • Invincible, 2nd rank
  • Martyr, 2nd rank
  • Moneybag, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Scientist, 2nd rank
  • Dueler, 3rd rank
  • Soulcatcher, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

On November 24, 2017 at 2:15am my lvl 5 disarming smile skill changed to lvl 5 cobweb gulp.

On December 2, 2017 at 08:20 AM The Two Trick Pony raised its hand for a deadly final strike against me, when Woody suddenly threw himself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. Woody was knocked out by the impact of the monster’s carcass. Oh, my Lord, if I don’t bring him back to his senses in time, he’ll lose all his levels and his will to compete!

Hero is in godville now with 10000 gold. I have no godpower.

On December 2, 2017 at 03:55 PM I spent 4612 gold coins to heal my pet. He wasn’t knocked out for too long, so he might even get his next level faster. Grow big and strong, my Woody!

Please pardon the pun. " I GOT MY WOODY BACK" 👹

On December 22, 2017 at 05:44 PM The Grimoire Reaper raised its hand for a deadly final strike against me, when Woody suddenly threw himself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. Woody was knocked out by the impact of the monster’s carcass. Oh, my Lord, if I don’t bring him back to his senses in time, he’ll lose all his levels and his will to compete!

On December 23, 2017 at 06:54 AM Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Explosive Nimble Deafening Giga Byter! Maxagent got 6272 gold coins, a golden brick, a dragon egg incubator, a dewaffling iron and a perpetual entropy generator.

Hopefully enough to heal Woody!

On December 23, 2017 at 07:42 AM Desperately praying and sacrificing, I made a small miracle and healed my pet’s heavy wounds. Woody, I’m so glad to to see you in good health!

Saved again!

On February 6, 2018 at11:42 AM A high priest rolled up his sleeves and slapped Woody, instantly bringing my beloved sun dog back to consciousness! At least, I think he was a priest… Paid him 7324 coins anyway. Oh Woody, how I’ve missed you!

On May 7, 201809:00 AM Just as the Were-Panther was about to finish me off, Woody gamely threw himself head-first at the creature, killing it instantly. He’s been stupefied since, with his eyes crossed and his tongue hanging out. I promise I’ll heal you, my brave, loyal sun dog, if it’s the last thing I ever do!

On May 9, 2018 Woody was my first pet and the second lost.
11:54 PM I didn’t manage to heal up my pet’s wound in time. Well, Woody, your regenerating abilities will help you to recover, but I think level-ups and pantheons are not for you anymore. On the other hand, who needs those silly things anyway?

On May 10, 2018 10:31 AM I heard that if you love someone, you should set them free. I released Woody into the wild to pursue his hopes and dreams. Meanwhile, I’m off to pursue all my greatest ambitions, in the tavern.

On June 2, 2018 09:56 PM Dearest diary, today was the day! I carefully laid the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all windows to let your glorious light shine in. I can’t believe it, your temple is finally finished, my Lord! I feel delirious with happiness.

10:37 PM Notes from the dungeon: After calmly considering the matter from every angle, the heroes decide to panic and flee the scene.

Templed and first dungeon! At 8 months and 17 days.

On June 7, 2018

Sasha and Pasha come in from the back door of the bar. “Well that’s got it,” Pasha says. “Sasha & Pasha’s Home for Former Pets is now takin’ residents!”

“If ye need to release yer pet,” Sasha says, “no need to release ‘em into the woods! Ye can just bring ’em here an’ we’ll find space!”

“After that building behind us got knocked down in that fight between rival guilds, we bought the land cheap. Now there’s plenty of space!” Pasha rolls her sore shoulders and makes a relaxing cocktail for both of them.

“And we got our ark parked next to it. Sweet Snowy and Applejack can play with all the other pets we get, and kids can come see all the cute beasties!”

June 7, 2018
〰〰🏃〰🏃〰🏃〰〰〰〰🐟〰🐟〰🐟〰〰

Came by to check things out for Woody. He’s a fine Sun Dog and fierce friend. I’d like to donate the 17,000+ coin’s my hero is carrying, but he won’t let them go. Thanks for providing a place to revisit memories. Hope you don’t mind if I leave this little sign. It’s going Global!

Hi! I heard about Sasha & Pasha’s Home for Former Pets and I’ve come by with Nessie. She’s a wonderful Ninja Tortoise and Love’s to cuddle. I’m glad she has a place. Thank you.

Heard about dis here place from a Boss I beat the c*** out of! So I stopped by with Blaze! He’s a sweetheart of a Sun Dog, but keep the glasses on😎 he’s lost his brightness control. That’s Boo, over there… crusty old penguin. He’s got a gig at the Orphanage, but he still gets around. This place is the best! I’ll tell all my friends.

@Kara-jay
I’d like to leave Olwyn, my vengeful mole – and Chewy, my battlesheep here at Sasha & Pasha’s Home for Former Pets
I’m sure they’ll both be very happy here. ___

@Sasha & Pasha
“Oh, this is wonderful!” Sasha hugs and fusses over the new residents of the big, spacious retirement home for pets. “They’re so adorable! Thank you, Kara-jay and Secretagent99 and The Almighty Snuff and Michael Culkin and Secretagentmax!”

“Aw, they’re playing together!” Pasha says. “Oh, but baby, Lago’s just visiting. Hmm, he’s still in the doorway, too. Oh well, anybody who really wants a drink’ll just climb over him. But I’ll open a window just in case somebody is a little nervous about stepping on him.”

@The Almighty Snuff

In his usual fashion of stumbling and falling into the bar (it’s all the rage in latest fashion), Snuff Taker appears in style. “Bartender”, he says, “hit me with one of those none-alcoholic bone growing drinks, would ya?… Oh hi everyone”.
As Snuff Taker drags himself onto the bar stool, he notices Lago somehow is stuck in the door again. " sigh He’s never understood how they work. Give him an hour and he’ll either figure out you’re meant to go in length ways and not width ways or he’ll probably fall asleep and be the new door mat. Knowing him, it’ll be the latter.
“Anyway”, he mumbles through broken teeth, “how’re you doing Sasha and Pasha ?”

@Thorboern
09:08 The Unregistered Pet tried to look cool, but soon died of hypothermia. I chipped a frayed knot and 36 coins out of the ice around it. Was brought to Sasha and Pasha were it lived happily ever after.

On June 25, 2018

@Cowabungallow

Um…hello? Are you still accepting pets for the retirement home? See, it took me awhile to find him, but I did. I eventually found ol’ Scratchy here, my old Sun Dog, over in Dogville. He had been trying to start a Three-Card Monte con but, you know, opposable thumbs and all? He wasn’t doing so well at it. Apparently he saw some painting of dogs playing poker and was thinking of working up to that. We’ve had a long talk about gambling and cons and I’m sure be won’t be any trouble at all! He’s just very gregarious and was getting tired of working as an assistance pet—his previous job—because he wasn’t able to romp and play the way he likes, and no one was allowed to pet him. Do you still have room? Only you see, he’s not getting along with my solar bear to well at all.

On June 26, 2018

@Azzageddi
Loving the pet stories, all.
Pretty sure Astfgl the Inner Demon is planning to kill and replace me as my hero’s god. (Being a former devil, I’ve already demonstrated the possibility.)
Avogadro the Vengeful Mole is busy with his chemistry lab.
Goldblum the Philosoraptor is trying to convince people to stop making more Philosoraptors from mosquito DNA, because they’ll even tually break out and cause trouble BECAUSE CHAOS, MAN!
Liniment the Battle Sheep is being stolen by Feegles all the time. He’s used to it.
Guaca the Grounded Hog is annoyed that his name can’t be changed again. I’m afraid I got mixed up and thought he was a Vengeful Mole when I named him. Shoulda called him Hamburger.

@Chaitea
@, my Nipper is a grounded hog that will foist Winston Churchill impressions on anyone who will listen. On days with the letter “t” in them, he can be found drunkenly shaking what his furry momma gave him at Bon Jovi tribute band performances.

@Expressionist-Horror
@ didn’t realize we were doing retired pets too. Dumbo the significant otter sneaks out of the ark to look all cute and cuddly in alleyways, then mugs whatever dimwit followed him in there.

On July 10, 2018
04:57 AM Attended Agent99’s funeral again. A passing Doubt Collector prodded me in the back and said, “You’re next.”

On July y 15, 2018
05:36 PM Went to the graveyard today and gave 17101 gold coins to the groundskeeper to have a nice grave with flowers, candles and a great view over Godville the next time I need one.

Good planning!

On July 17, 2018
05:54 AM I used to worry about my memory problems. Now I just forget about them.

One August 15, 2018 posted to chat.
Maxagent appeared in Godville before his DNA benefactors because of a time anomaly created by the explosion of a firecracker in a toilet drain. He is strong, stubborn, and able. He didn’t know the Nigerian Prince was a scammer selling cheap copies of the best Chinese Bossbuster’s.
Maxwell Smart 86 and Agent99 are twin siblings. Maxagent is the result of a scattering technology (not inbreeding).

Agent99 was a fearless Secret Agent but since Godville has a relatively benign government and no physical threats, there’s very little Secret Agenting to do. So she does her best to help everyone.

Maxwell Smart 86 is a Master of intrigue and knows nothing else. He partakes in intrigue between Guilds, has a phone on a shoe, and is tickled pink anytime he picks up a cone of silence.
Together they form a loose triumvirate helping all(even AFK, but don’t go out of way)
Many of you know one or more already, they’re rotating soon.

On September 1, 2018 Augy posted.
04:00 PM Played truth or dare with Agent99. She dared me to tell people about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. Time to do a new quest!

Given quest by my alt.

On September 26, 2018
Ode to Tree Hero 
Adapted from Trees by JOYCE KILMER

I think that I shall never see 
A hero so lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest 
Against the earth’s sweet flowing…
Well, stopping there might be best.

A tree that looks at his God all day,
(That is you, @Forest King, by the way) 
And lifts his leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in Summer wear 
A helm of robins over his hair;

Upon whose bosom so many have been slain; 
A leading dueler, so who can blame?

Poems are made by fools like me, 
But only @Forest King can make a tree.

Dear deer, when will rain reign?
I hope you enjoy hearing this brief refrain.
Thanks for phixing our Phoenixes a-gain!
Three cheers to FK for your reign!

- Augy 🍩🎉👍

January 26, 2016
@Dremon
Divine enlightenment politely made it clear that I was calling my pet by the wrong name all this time. I’ll be calling him Agentmax from now on!

February 25, 2019

Helped S624 with 4 spars toward a side job of 6 adventures.

No flies on these agents
They jumped when Strandloper called
To the sparring fields
A side job to haste
No time to waste
The timer ticking
Here to dish out a licking
The deeds are done
4 matches in an hour
The agents retire
To await the call once more

💘 @Michael Culkin

June 4, 2019

10:48 PM The heroes defeated the arrogant monster! Gintaman became richer by 6073 gold coins. TokenBlack became richer by 1895 coins. Brayen Gar got 5722 gold coins and a rib of the Ark Enemy. Secretagent13 got 5803 gold coins and a monkey business suit. Thunder McGee became richer by 1895 gold coins. A pleasant voice from above announced that all bosses in this dungeon have perished and wished the intruders to burn in hell. Long passageways to the west, north and south snake off into darkness.

Raider 3rd rank.

June 15, 2019

A decaying map on a wall reveals a nook with the reward: extra gold in the treasury.
A poster under the ceiling reads, “The Abyss of Mystery welcomes its prey!” A footnote at the bottom reads “This dungeon is special, but nobody knows how”.
Once upon a time, Maxagent, Strandloper, Augy, Perlin Jakansson and Bow 2 Me set off into a dungeon… Parents are strongly cautioned: this dungeon contains scenes of comedic violence.

1:14 PM A log! A thousandth log! I’m even ready for a flood now. Not that I’m asking for it, Omnipotent One.

01:46 PM Notes from sail: Was about to kick the bucket, but then decided to grab it and swim to the shore instead.
Drowned my first sail.

03:57 PM Accepting the bait as a gift, a pretty fenimal quickly swam in the direction of my ark.
First of pairs from fishing.

June 17, 2019
01:00 AM Notes from sail: I got something from this voyage. Unloading a donation box, a fenimal and an overseas thingamajig from the hold.
01:01 AM Divine forces took the donation box and disassembled it without my permission. There was an Encyclopedia Heroica, a frontstage pass, a Darwin award, a rubber duck, a “Made in Godville” label, a Godville particle, a hive of activity and 10097 coins inside.
01:01 AM One of my artifacts just fell to pieces. Discovered a boss monster plushie, a plot twist straightener, a bicycle of life, an emoji translator, a trouble magnet, a wristlet sundial, a golden snitch, a perpetual emotion machine, a one-of-a-kind item, a small hadron collider and 7753 gold coins in the shards.

September 18, 2019
11:13 PM Maxagent comes out as a winner. Abmahnanwalt Garry obediently gives away a crate and water and jumps overboard. package

became a Pirate today.

April 11, 2020
04:03 AM Just as the Shadow Worrier was about to finish me off, Rex gamely threw himself head-first at the creature, killing it instantly. He’s been stupefied since, with his eyes crossed and his tongue hanging out. I promise I’ll heal you, my brave, loyal dreaded gazebo, if it’s the last thing I ever do!
04:38 AM As I lay dying, the Godvilla whispered into my ear, “Where is your great god now?”

08:45 AM I healed my pet so fast that I think he just gained a new level. Congratulations, Rex!
Into the Ark! Time for #3

August 20, 2020
05:48 PM Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Skilled Hulking Rootbear! Maxagent added 6429 coins, a tail of the Rootbear, a golden brick, an emotional shock absorber, some atom balm, an emotional randomizer, a love triangle, a box of web cookies, a thought counter, submarinara sauce, a smoke signal booster, a buckyball, an I.O.U. note, a written voicemail, a monster repellent, a popped balloon, some silly pâté, a two-way shaving mirror, a magnum opus, a solar-powered candle, a diamond in the rough, a Judgement Day calendar, a constellation prize and a binary-tree seed to his bag.

Took the number one spot for most trophies (23) from a dig boss.
Secret Agent Academy (21) held it for a long time.