Hey folks, thanks for taking the time to read my chronicles! I’d be very grateful if you’d give them a serious rating and pm me if you believe something should be changed/added. Also, if you have some awesome music of which the title fits a word/line in my chronicles, let me know! But now, I’m going to stand back and let Mychlon, my ever so brave hero, tell his story.
The Chronicles of Mychlon – By Mychlon
Wow, I don’t know what just happened, but I think I just had an epic premonition, and I think I should write some chronicles. Off I go!
First Impressions
Where am I born? I don’t know. Who are my parents? Do I have any? I don’t know. Who are my friends? Who or what is that strange presence that commands me to get up and going? So many things I don’t know. So let’s start with the things I do know.
First of all, my name is Mychlon. I don’t remember where or why I got that name, but I have it and it sounds good to me. Next, I’m not alone here. There are tons of other men and women like me. They call themselves ‘heroes’. Seems like I’m a hero, too. So that strange presence should be my own personal god. Did I create him? Or did he create me? Or did something else create both of us? Whoops, only more questions, let’s get back to what I know.
It seems I’m here in a place called Godville, the capital of a country, world, or whatever it is, called Godville. And, just like the name says, there’s plenty of gods here. Sometimes I hear them shouting desperately, trying to reach their heroes, and… no, Almighty, not now! I’m writing here! Well. For some reason I instinctively know what to do. Well, that’s not too hard when a weird creature approaches you, introduces itself as a monster, having the job to kill heroes or to be killed by them. So I bravely killed my very first monster. How great a feeling! I should do that more often! I also got some gold coins and some strange item. Don’t know what that is for, so I’ll just put it in my bag until I find out.
How to Live in Godville
Met an older, more experienced hero by the roadside. He told me all about Godville, gods, heroes, and monsters. So, this is my task here:
- Travel the road, marked by milestones, and meet monsters.
- Kill those monsters, and take their loot.
- When health gets critical or bag gets full, return to last town visited.
- If bag is full enough, sell everything inside it.
- With the coins received from the trader, buy equipment, healing potions, golden bricks or beer.
- Praise the Lord
- In the meantime, complete quests and get rewards.
- And most important of all, write everything I do in my diary.
- Some sort of, er, repeat… ad infinitum.
OK. So I know now what to do in general. But, what was that about golden bricks? I asked the older hero, and he said: ‘You have three main goals in your life. Number one is to join a guild, once you reach level 12. The second is to build a temple for your god, made out of massive golden bricks. And finally, you have to tame a pet and get it to level 30.’ Well, onwards then…
First Experiences
My first level-up was such a great feeling… I stood upon the corpse of a monster, and suddenly felt more healthy, experienced, and ready to challenge the whole world. My first quest completion was also a great experience. After all the titanic efforts, the reward was a brand new, shiny golden brick! Since there’s a page in my diary, keeping my stats, and on that page it says: Bricks for Temple: 0%, I thought it would change to 1% right away. Oh, the disappointment when I saw I needed 1000 of them instead of 100! Now, I saw the whole hugeness of my task, and decided to speed things up a little to prevent myself from being stuck here forever. Whatever may come after this. I hope it includes cookies, though!
Short after I had reached level two, I needed to go to town for a healing. There I experienced the best feeling ever: the feeling of good beer in my belly! My god, I should really do that more often, no matter what it costs me! However, I’ve got a feeling my god doesn’t like to see his hero down in the pubs, wasting his money on beer. But his anger about that was nothing compared with the anger he showed when I threw nearly all of my pocket’s contents in a wishing well and wished for more gold. Whoops!
After I reached level 7, I got a motto! Finally my very own, fear-striking battle cry, my cry of the brave! Woohaa! Fear me and my epic motto!
After level 12, I joined my first guild. They were nice fellows calling themselves Soul Reapers. I stayed with them for a while, eventually becoming a Master there. But after some time I felt there was more to discover, so I hugged my old friends goodbye and moved on. I ended up being a member of the “Guild Name” guild. I was welcomed by a quite active guild with a lot of nice members. I decided to stay there (it could also be that I simply am too lazy to leave).
Also, at this level I fought my very first duel against a guy called Ophin. The joyful feeling when he laid on his knees, and I was victorious! I however had a bad feeling about fighting other heroes, so I decided to keep the number of those fights to a minimum by not going to the Arena. I have been only one time out there, so until now I kept my promise…
Not too soon after, I faced Death for the first time. A huge monster raised its paw… the impact was terrible. Everything disappeared before my eyes. Next thing I knew was that I was feeling awkward… sort of unreal. I looked around. I saw a corpse laying by the roadside, the head mashed. Then I realised that I was staring at my body, and that I (or, at least what I always had described as “Me”) was dead. How terrible a feeling! I looked over my shoulder, and if I hadn’t been dead already, I’d have died out of fear. A huge skeleton in a long black cape and with a very large, mean-looking scythe was standing behind me. He turned out to be a decent chap, luckily. He even brought a pie to welcome me!
The skeleton introduced himself as Death. He told me that I was dead (wow…), and that my spirit would be staying with him until my god decided to resurrect me. I must say that my ‘spirit’ feels quite solid though… maybe I can beat myself a way outta here if it takes too long for my god to resurrect me. Ha, my body may be dead, but my soul and my spirit will go on!
I met a lot of dead hero’s spirits there. They told me the first time always is very overwhelming, but I’d get used to it very soon. Hm… Suddenly I felt a strong feeling from inside me. I felt the presence of my god, giving me the power to form a new body and return to the world of the mortals. I said bye to Death and the other spirits and was brought back to life in a local temple with some neat sfx. Phew.
After level 18, I finally got my very first pet! It was, I still remember the poor soul, a Rocky Raccoon called Stitch. We were happy with eachother, until the day that bloody monster came, and Stitch sacrificed himself to save my life… that was the day I realised that everything goes by. Maybe even my own life! Until now, I had been resurrected when a monster ‘killed’ me, but what if I wouldn’t one day? Help!
And time goes by…
At the moment I’m writing this, I’m level fourty-nine, have a level 17 Biowolf called Oy as my fifth pet, have totally lost count of my countless deaths, have 883 bricks for my temple and will become a Guild Name Patriarch in two days. What a difference to the little Mychlon who discovered the deliciousness of beer, and killed his first monster! I have learned many things, did many great deeds, witnessed many strange happenings, like some more towns suddenly pop out as if they’ve always been there, some of my quests becoming shorter, other quests become longer, and seeing monsters on the wanted posters instead of myself… and so time goes by. Who knows what lays in the future? I don’t know.
31 August 2012, 21.48:
Ok, drums please… Hello? The drums? Where are the drums? Ah. Much better so. Thank you. You may start playing Building the Church now. Nice! Even better now. Oh, it’s such a wonderful song… Now where were we… oh, yes, I have something to proudly announce. So let’s get started. A drum roll please!
I, Mychlon, 50th level hero under the vigilant supervision of the god MasterOfShadows, Patriarch of Guild Name Guild, owner of 20th level Biowolf Oy and exactly one year old, am incredibly happy to announce that I just completed my temple on my first birthday! Therefore I had to gather 16 bricks in one day. It’s a miracle that I succeeded. Now I can enjoy even more miracles! So, Champagne Name for everyone! Cheers! Oh, and do we have another beautiful and appropiate Steve Vai song to play… yes. You may start playing For the love of God to celebrate my deed for the love of my god!
17 December 2012, 07:38
(Steve Vai’s The Animal starts playing in the background)
07:38 PM Oy glowed and his eyes sparkled. It seems that my brute just achieved a new level.
This is just a simple message. But it has a great meaning: I have finally managed to keep a walking furball alive for long enough to reach level 30! Now, doesn’t this nice little – erm, big – medal look great on me?
Now, my tale is told. At least, for now. Of course many things keep happening to me as my life goes on, but if I would keep track of all of them, I’d need a whole library of books for my chronicles! So, for now I’ll just keep it at this. Thank you for reading my chronicles of all my great experiences and even greater heroic deeds!
Proudly,
Mychlon
Praise for Mychlon’s chronicles
11:53 AM Faced with the choice between listening to the full recount of my chronicles or jumping into a nearby volcano, the New-times Roman went for the less painful option, leaving a chip off the old block behind.