HERE ARE MY ChRoNiClEs!
Birthday! Okay, don’t freak out. First I’m in Heaven and then…BOOM! I’m in the temple. Maybe I should beat myself to death so I could go to Heaven again! Yeah! Wait, is that even possible? I don’t have a weapon! So…ooo! Cookies! Mmm…ouch! My tooth! Is there a tablet in here? Well, yes there is! It says, ‘I have put you in the world of Godville to worship me in a new way. Everything you do shall be done in my name.’
First Quest! I saw someone punching people, so I punched him. I punched him so hard that he died. His last words were, ‘Become one with the force.’ No! Before I say anything else, I better finish this quest.
First Mini-Quest! When I found my first mini-quest to do, this is the diary entry I wrote: 01:47: Found a mini-quest on a bulletin board: locate a hive of scum and villainy. Great, I just have half an hour to do it. – I hate these things! They always get in the middle of my regular quests! Might as well do it so I don’t get hit with a lightning bolt by the Almighty…
Mini-Quest Completion! When I finished my mini-quest to locate a hive of scum and villainy, I wrote this diary entry: 02:00: Somehow managed to locate a hive of scum and villainy and was rewarded with a special trophy. – Awesome!
New Mini-Quest! When I finished my mini-quest, I wrote this diary entry: 02:00: Shiver me timbers, to locate a hive of scum and villainy wasn’t the last task of the quest! Now I have to don’t panic. Let’s see who’ll have the last laugh.
Mini-Quest Completion! When I finished my mini-quest to don’t panic, I wrote this diary entry: 02:06: Easily managed to don’t panic and got a “Don’t panic” T-shirt as a reward. Hooray! The mini-quest has been completed!
New Mini-Quest! When I finished my mini-quest, I wrote this diary entry: 02:06: Shiver me timbers, to don’t panic wasn’t the last task of the quest! Now I have to find a level boss and defeat it. Hope this task is the last one. – Uh oh…
Abandoning of Mini-Quest…Alone! When I figured it out, I wrote this diary entry: 02:20: This mini-quest seems to be harder than I thought. Better stop now before it’s not too late. – I did that without any voices from my god! That was the end my first series of mini-quests.
Regular Quest Completion! When I finished my quest to become one with the force, the force granted me with something from out of this world…because I’m pretty sure that they are made by aliens. A…GoLdEn BrIcK! It’s funny, I was not told to build anything out of it. Wait…a temple? A thousand bricks? That will take me weeks! Wait…months? A voice from the sky shouted, ‘Just do it or I’ll burn your buttocks off with a lightning bolt.’ Well, fine!First Death! Sadly, one morning I died. I wrote a diary entry to explain it all: ‘21:50: My whole life flashed before my eyes and faded away. Darn the Master of Disaster.’ I lost all my gold and loot. It took my god 2 hours and 20 minutes to find out I was dead and resurrect me. Do not think I am saying your stupid Almighty, but, you’re the god and I figured out I was dead first.
Guilds! When it was time for me to join a guild, I took on a quest to join some guild. My god didn’t want me to join that guild. So, my god told me this voice: ‘Join the “Blue Feather” guild’. It is awesome! I joined on August 2nd, 2012. My guild’s allies are Harvest Moon and Holy Random.
Guilds, part 2! My god told me to create a guild. He said, ‘Create "The World’s Greatest Workers" guild!’ I listened.
Guilds, part 3! Okay, so my god found this awesome guild in the forum (by the way, what is the forum?). He said to me, ‘Join the “Zombie Hunters” guild!’ The first ones to greet me were Goddess Shelleron and The Good Doctor. 12:53 Found someone who allowed me to join “Zombie Hunters”. Hi, fellows!
A Few Guilds Later! Okay, same situation with the Zombie Hunters, except it’s. Dumbledores Army, and I’m never leaving!
Greatest Achievements! Godville 08:45: I had to grovel at the merchant’s feet to buy this golden brick. That was a bit humiliating. Godville 14:49: The trader suddenly gave me a big smile, winked and handed me an operating model of a black hole. I’m sure that huckster has something on his mind.
Abandonment! On June 3, 2013, my god, MORE Fun Man, left Godville. He told me he will miss everyone in Dumbledores Army.