The Voice
Today was the day I was awoken, or born. Which ever one is right. Considering that I am not a baby I think I was just awoken. Though a few people have told me I have the sense of a child. I wonder what they mean…
I’m getting off topic though, what I wanted to tell you was how I was woken up. There was this voice… it said…
You are Cinna, my chosen one, my darling hero. You will go forth and spread my words across the lands. Your efforts will not, however, be in vain. I will assist you with kind words and those of wisdom along the way and not only that but I will revive you when you are hurt (and I’m sure you’ll need lots of that). Go forth chosen one! Go forth my hero, my love!
The voice was so loud and used so many big words, it was all I could do to write this all down. I’m just going to ignore it and go sleep somewhere or something…
Death
Today is the first time I have experienced death. It was rather unpleasant and disorienting. You know with the whole life flashing before your eyes thing. My life was quite boring and uneventful. I suppose that’s to be expected when you’ve only existed for less than a day.
On the bright side that goddess-lady from before resurrected me fairly quickly. Then she started talking again and I got bored. Decided to go find a bar or something.
One Year Old
I’ve just turned one! Happy Birthday to me! I can’t help but feel as if I’m a bit behind… I’m only level 47 and not even halfway done with the temple. I’ve also killed 3 pets in one year as well. I hope the humane society doesn’t find out…
Also that god lady wont leave me alone, she’s so annoying. I love my goddess Lyme… especially when I’m not being struck by lightning…
What I Do
I’ve been in one guild as long as I can remember, the elite Angels of Destruction. I’ve been in the
guild so long that I’m a regent!
Not only that, though. I feel as if I’m a really, truly good person. My wonderful goddess Lyme always showers me with miracles. I don’t know how to describe it I feel… virtuous almost. It’s truly quite nice.
Often after long days of killing monsters and going questing for different things I get tired and find my way to the bar to go drinking. The life of a hero is a lonely one, being on the road and all. So I go there in with hopes of making new friends to travel with but always wake up in some back alley with no memory of what happened but a vague sense of despair.
Completed Temple
It’s amazing I’ve finally been able to collect enough gold bricks to make a temple. All of my hard work and all of the beer money my goddess has stolen … melted into gold bricks for me has paid off. I often feel as if… miracles have been performed for me and I’m able to use all the extra gold bricks I get as money to buy even more beer! Even though I’m happy I can’t seem to shake the empty feeling I have inside. It’s almost as if my whole life has been spent trying to complete this one task and I have nothing really left to do…
Retirement
I’ve managed to find something to temporarily fill the void in my life! I’ve decided that it’s time to begin saving for retirement. The life of a hero is a very dangerous one and you never know when you’ll have to retire so I’ve decided to get ready!
More Things I Do
Fighting monsters is really a pain. I would probably get hurt quite a bit less if I focused on fighting instead of writing in my diary all of the time. It’s a really bad habit of mine… Yesterday I actually got killed when I was trying to write in my diary while fighting. I then proceeded to write some more in the after life.
R.I.P. Timon
I’ve managed to kill er, lose another pet. I had dear Timon for 6 months. He was level 30, that’s almost half my level and I’m having my 2nd birthday soon! I suppose I have to search for a new pet now. It gets lonely… maybe I should make some human friends, too?
Happy Birthday 2 Me!
I’ve recently turned 2 and I’m quite excited! I had a big birthday party with all of my guild and we had a great time. Or at least I think we did… I’m not sure, my birthday present was free beer from the bar all night.
I have made the slightest bit of progress this year, though. Instead of killing 3 pets I only killed 1! That’s my lowest score yet! Maybe this year I can go for a highscore?
Another Lost Pet
I’ve lost my dear pet alpha centaur, Sandy. He was level 35. We had been together 9 months. 9 months I had spent without making a single real, live, human friend. I guess I’ll be lonely again for a while…
I’m 3!
Surprisingly I’ve managed to make it here without many mishaps. I’ve not even killed lost a pet since Sandy a while back. I’m still weak and I die all the time but I enjoy going to the hospital every once and a while. At least there they recognize me and talk to me. Even if all they say is, “That’ll be XXXX gold, Cinna”.
In other news I’ve began building an ark a while back. To get the wood I have to venture down into scary dungeons with other heroes. It’s really weird when are down there and kinda scary, too but it feels better when other people are around. Often I have to drag those ‘other people’ out of the dungeons but they miss out on the spoils so that means more for me!
My 4th Birthday
Yesterday my guild members and I went out to celebrate my birthday. As my god is the head of our guild AND it was my birthday I was tasked with paying for everyone’s drinks. Now that I am 4 years and 1 day old I realize that perhaps they should have been buying me gifts or someone should have at least given me a present. Now that I have no money left and still have a huge bill to my name I guess it’s time to get out of town and get back to adventuring.
Completed My Ark!
Today, on this 15th day of August, I have completed my ark. I had to collect 1000 logs of gopher wood from down in those scary dungeons but I managed to do it in less lives than I would have expected! It was probably all due to my wonderful goddess’ advice while I was down there because if we heroes had been left alone we may have never made it out of there.
Now I’m gonna get some new pets and keep them safe in my ark so I can be ready for anything that may come my way. Unless my goddess doesn’t warn me first otherwise I may not even notice…
More Dead Pets
After taking the time to name and nurture even more pets I have also managed to kill them. Paylor and Thresh… I miss them a lot. I take care of them and get them to high level but they just die anyway, it seems that they love me a lot, though because they always fall trying to save me. I just wish they knew how many times I had already died before I had them. Then they would know that I’ll just come back anyway!
Anyway, I am almost 6 now! I’m really excited! I’m gonna have a party with all of my guild members and we’re gonna drink the night away, and then also the next day, and maybe the day after that, too! It is a big celebration we have to make sure we do it right!
My 6th Birthday
Somehow I managed to miss my whole 5th birthday, not really sure about that. Maybe I was dead? Maybe I was drunk? Perhaps some odd combination of both where one lead to the other or something? I don’t really know. All I know is that today is my 6th birthday and I want to have a party. I offered to take my guild to the best Tavern in all of Godville but when we got there we realized that with only 106 gold in my pocket we weren’t going to get far. We settled for going to the 2nd worst bar instead and had a great time. I remember it, too! Which is a shame, to be honest.
7th Birthday!
During my 6th year of life I managed to get a lot done. Most of it was bad but I did a lot of it. I killed at least 2 pets, I didn’t make much progress collecting animals, I died a whole lot. It was a generally unsuccessful year. That is why this year, I am gonna set goals I know I can achieve. I’m gonna drink more beer and find more ways to waste money.
Collected 1000 pairs
By setting my goals super low I have already managed to surpass them! Just yesterday I finished collecting 1000 pairs of animals for my ark. I am not really sure what to do with all of them because they are a bit heavy, but I think with my Goddess’s help I can create my own monsters! Hopefully they’ll be able to do useful things like buying me more beer.
10 years old!!
The past 3 years passed me by in a drunken haze. I can hardly remember anything since my 7th birthday. Today my goddess sobered me up enough that I could celebrate! I’m gonna go get wasted, see you in 3 more years.