Porkchop the Wide

level 86

I used to think

Age 12 years 5 months
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 257 thousand
Death Count 173
Wins / Losses 105 / 124
Temple Completed at 02/26/2015
Ark Completed at 09/03/2016 (185.5%)
Twos of Every Kind 435m, 422f (42.2%)
Savings 7M, 735k (25.8%)
Pet Hyper lynx Rex 10th level


Weapon axe of valor +97
Shield solar disc +95
Head deja view glasses +95
Body award robe +95
Arms manacles of freedom +95
Legs boots of hasty retreat +95
Talisman bonsai tree of knowledge +95


  • fanned fingers level 96
  • intimate tickling level 74
  • slap of the whale level 69
  • swoop of the smith level 68
  • navel clamp level 67
  • sword-swallowing level 67
  • electrostatic discharge level 65
  • cri de coeur level 58
  • dragon pout level 55
  • epitaph writing level 50




  • Honored Renegade
  • Animalist, 1st rank
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Hunter, 1st rank
  • Martyr, 1st rank
  • Shipwright, 1st rank
  • Careerist, 2nd rank
  • Champion, 2nd rank
  • Raider, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Savior, 2nd rank
  • Moneybag, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

The lord of Swine was a simple yet brilliant man who battled his way up the dangerous ladder of social hierachy. Through sweat and grit, this young man from Swina single handedly brought fame to his small country. Now thanks to century old texts, we can finally learn of his exploits.

In 990 bc, the lord of Swine became a personal advisor to King David of Israel. Due to his telepathic power, he was able to foretell every enemy attack on Israel and was significant in holding back the Assyrian Army back for nearly 100 years. After leaving Israel via a small handcart, the lord of Swine coleted his most heroic task of all.

In 26 ad the Lord of Swine travelled to Rome just in time to prevent Jesus from dying. After fighting through 900 roman guards, and saving Jesus, he was told by God to let Jesus die. So the Lord of Swine was sent back in time to let Jesus die. However God was so pleased with the lord of Swine, for his heroic actions that he transformed the Lord of swine into a god.

Lord Swine now is a current god with 1 hero, Porkchop the wide.