I woke up in a cold sweat. Had a nightmare that my life was someone else’s game…
04:27 Notes from the dungeon: Gatts Toxis, Wind Rider, Avil, Bob the Heathen and Yo daddy 2 descended into a dungeon peeking into the darkness and carefully looking under their feet. 04:36 Notes from the dungeon: Desperate to find the exit, the team leaves the dungeon via the entrance.
Note to self. Find some Dwarfs and learn DUNGEON SKILLS 101, FAST… because 9 minutes tramping around in a dungeon without a single stick of gopher wood to show for it is going to get me laughed out of every tavern, in every town that hears about this. Hopefully, I won’t lose my diary my key, again.
I looked into the kind eyes of the vanquished monster and suddenly decided — Double Dragon, you’ll be my pet! And I’ll call you Tigger. Bandaged his wounds, gave him a treat and fastened the leash.
While at the hospital, I found Artamice lying in the infirmary. Spent 1842 coins on get-well gifts, hoping he will return the favor one day.
A guardsman caught me writing “Boom! Goes the dynamite!” on a wall. Had to pay a fine of 3197 coins.
Paid 1531 gold coins to give my little animal a bath before starting a tough campaign. Rex’s coat now shines luxuriously and he is happily hiccuping soap bubbles.
Suddenly, there was news about a golden calf grazing in a field near Godville. Omnipotent One, was that your handiwork? I took this opportunity and declared it a sacred symbol of the “seven winds home” guild
A massive tablet suddenly fell from the sky. Inscribed upon it were the words: ‘join “Blue Feather” dear one!’
I feel that being a member of the ‘Blue Feather’ guild is a better choice.
Baloo viciously rubbed against the enemy, striking him with high voltage discharges of static electricity.
My Baloo crept up on the monster from behind and barked loudly. Judging by the shocked look on its face, Scare-Bear was not mentally prepared for this.
My silly dust bunny got under my feet, and I almost stepped right on him. That would have ended badly.
Hmm, Toto the dust bunny… What a strange combination. Maybe I should have called him Deverstator?
Grayscaled Dragon raised his paw for a deadly final strike, but suddenly Toto threw himself at his feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, breaking his neck. Toto quietly heaved his last breath under the weight of the monster’s carcass. Oh my Lord, why? He was so young…
Scraped together 2403 gold coins and managed to persuade the priests to revive my pet. Oh, Toto, I missed you so much!
I looked into the kind eyes of the vanquished monster and suddenly decided — Bipolar Bear, you’ll be my pet! And I’ll call you Scrat. Bandaged his wounds, gave him a treat and fastened the leash.
Scrat sat on the sidelines, fluttering his eyelashes and looking super cute. When the monster’s back was turned, Scrat struck it from behind with a tire iron. Good bipolar bear, you’re always so crafty.
I looked into the kind eyes of the vanquished monster and suddenly decided — Bipolar Bear, you’ll be my pet! And I’ll call you Dumbo. Bandaged his wounds, gave him a treat and fastened the leash.
Dumbo suddenly perked up attentively and roared. Then he rushed into the bushes and pulled out a discharged wand of wishing. What a clever pet!
I looked into the kind eyes of the vanquished monster and suddenly decided — Trojan Horse, you’ll be my pet! And I’ll call you Rex. Bandaged his wounds, gave him a treat and fastened the leash.
Hmm… I didn’t know that my lock of Dreg tai zun’s hair was worth 2527 gold coins. A decent price, I’d say.
The Fangless Vampire said that ‘I see rubber monkeys!’ is a lame motto and vanished. What a rude fellow!
‘I am Wind Rider, 2nd place is 1st loser! Raaaaaaaargh!’ Great One, what do you think? Does it sound impressive?
The Leeroy Jenkins bribed me with 33 coins and tried to escape. I took the money, but then dealt a fatal blow anyway. Who would let that much XP get away?
Darned Peanut Butter Jellyfish stole my cookie! My god, you should punish him!
Did someone just say, ‘you should watch what you eat before battle anyway child.’, to me or not? Either way, I don’t care.
Clouds in the sky suddenly formed into the words: ‘You BETTER care!’
MEDIC! I need a medic over here!
Entered a bamboo grove to get some rest and met Crucial there. Drank from a mug to celebrate the lucky meeting and smoked a peace-pipe. Lost track of time.
What a coincidence! Squallsquall stopped by to visit me. We talked over a few drinks of living water.
Met Crucial. He tried to teach me “bending chakras”, but I failed miserably. Apparently, this is not my thing.
Met Domynaite, borrowed some food and a couple of healing potions. Feeling much better now.
What a coincidence! Karinenok stopped by to visit me. We talked over a few drinks of iodine solution.
Met Satra, borrowed some food and a couple of healing potions. Feeling much better now.
Ran into MaliErvin. He distracted the monster with some magic tricks, giving me time for a quick prayer.
Entered a bamboo grove to get some rest, but met VA2011 there. We built a little field altar and prayed to our gods. Maybe we should build a pantheon next time.
Met Karinenok, borrowed some food and a couple of healing potions. Feeling much better now.
Met Mirestige. Borrowed some food and a couple of healing potions. Feeling much better now.
The Godvillain claimed to be too weird to live, but much too rare to die. Baloo didn’t understand a word of it and simply continued to gnaw on the monster’s leg.
Godvillain raised his paw for a deadly final strike, but suddenly Baloo threw himself at his feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, breaking his neck. Baloo quietly heaved his last breath under the weight of the monster’s carcass. Oh my Lord, why? He was so young…
Sometimes I wonder if my god has too much control over me, but I’m afraid this thought will get me punished.