Hero

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Cohen da Barbarian 35

level 100

Death by Concubine?

Age 9 years 8 months
Personality gentle
Guild Ankh-Morpork City Watch
(regent)
Monsters Killed about 373 thousand
Death Count 145
Wins / Losses 93 / 123
Temple Completed at 10/12/2015
Ark Completed at 01/15/2019 (244.7%)
Twos of Every Kind 849m, 888f (84.9%)
Savings 11M, 719k (39.1%)
Pet Terror bull Pilot 21st level

Equipment

Weapon Sword of a Thousand Truths +111
Shield big book of self defence +113
Head industrial military complexion +110
Body trenchcoat of arms +110
Arms hands-free gloves +110
Legs rocket skates +111
Talisman sphere of destiny +113

Skills

  • epitaph writing level 94
  • inept singing level 89
  • clinical strike level 85
  • mega-bite level 85
  • teeth gnashing level 84
  • effect of the groundhog level 84
  • powerful sneeze level 79
  • bad breath level 79
  • swoop of the smith level 71
  • selfish interest level 67

Feats

  • ⓶ Feed hungry tribbles with regular ones
  • ⓶ Deliver both a wanted monster and a wanted artifact within one day

Pantheons

Gratitude692
Might6334
Templehood12553
Gladiatorship7315
Mastery3309
Taming3960
Survival3715
Savings3485
Creation2967
Arkeology3249
Catch3644
Unity1
Popularity2
Duelery3
Adventure4

Achievements

  • Honored Renegade
  • Animalist, 1st rank
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Careerist, 1st rank
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Shipwright, 1st rank
  • Champion, 2nd rank
  • Freelancer, 2nd rank
  • Hunter, 2nd rank
  • Martyr, 2nd rank
  • Moneybag, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Savior, 2nd rank

Hero's Chronicles

Left as an infant on a mountain and was cared for by giant eagles. Spent life rescuing babes, battering creatures and stealing loot from temples. Battled both the Dwarves and Trolls in the various battles of Coom Valley. In the twilight of his life he helped stop the destruction of the Disk with a failed ‘Wizzzard’, a Tourist and a walking box. Took control of the counter weight continent with a few mates. Then attempted to destroy the home of the gods and died. Cohen’s spirit hijacked the horse of the Valkyrie who came to claim him and he got lost ending up at God King Monkey’s house. King Monkey gave him a new body, $50 and sent him to Godville.

Cohen’s Saga Continues… Find out what’s in humble pie (completed)

01:01 am It took a little longer than expected because of all the Stop signs. Hope that I won’t have to visit enough signs to learn sign language again. But the reward was good: an extra dose of experience and a shiny golden brick! Visit enough signs to learn sign language (completed)

11:56 pm The Worthy Opponent raised its hand for a deadly final strike against me, when Toto suddenly threw himself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. Toto was knocked out by the impact of the monster’s carcass. Oh, my Lord, if I don’t bring him back to his senses in time, he’ll lose all his levels and his will to compete!

11:56 am I didn’t manage to heal up my pet’s wound in time. Well, Toto, your regenerating abilities will help you to recover, but I think level-ups and pantheons are not for you anymore. On the other hand, who needs those silly things anyway?

06:14 am I heard that if you love someone, you should set them free. I released Toto into the wild to pursue his hopes and dreams. Meanwhile, I’m off to pursue all my greatest ambitions, in the tavern.

12:03 pm I looked into the kind eyes of the vanquished monster and suddenly decided — Sun Dog, you’ll be my pet! And I’ll call you Iago. Bandaged his wounds, gave him a treat and fastened the leash.

11:26 pm Oh, I guess this quest is going to be really epic! I have to do six impossible things before breakfast. And they want to make it fast. Are they kidding? 02:59 am Well, that took long enough, was able to have lunch and a couple dinners since I started. Now that I’ve finished, I guess I can finally have breakfast. My quest to do six impossible things before breakfast has brought a very nice reward of 24461 coins right into my pocket! Hope I won’t lose it on my way back… 10:23 am Strutted up to the quest giver and demanded an epic task worthy of my many skills. I must have exaggerated a bit too much, because now he expects me to climb the tallest beanstalk to get a bird’s-eye view of Godville. 09:25 am The Unicycle Gang Member raised its hand for a deadly final strike against me, when Iago suddenly threw himself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. Iago was knocked out by the impact of the monster’s carcass. Oh, my Lord, if I don’t bring him back to his senses in time, he’ll lose all his levels and his will to compete!

02:49 pm I healed my pet so fast that I think he just gained a new level. Congratulations, Iago!

OMG. I DID IT!

11:27 am An epic journey of a thousand milestones begins with a drunken dare to rediscover the world.

12:02 am And this is … Godville? Mhh, yeah, interesting! It turned out that to rediscover the world can be very profitable. I’ve got three golden bricks and a weapon of less destruction for doing it!

Finally, a baby with candy! Sweet! By completing my quest to take candy from a baby, I received some experience and… an inflatable voodoo doll again? Really? Oh well, at least I can sell it.

The guild is quiet. Too quiet. Even the ever present sound of the quaffing of …whatever from @GodofBeer’s room seems subdued. As the great monkey king’s feet quietly pad the suprisingly tidy wooden floor on their way to the notice board, he finds himself unconsciously holding his tail to his chest. And unsurprisingly there it is, another reminder to stop investigating whether shape changing reptilians have replaced the Guild Council. “sure I’ll stop, @Susan sto Helit. If that is your real name” he scrawls over the reminder in red ink.

And then a howl winds through the corridors. A verbal incarnation of dispair in @DArgo Sun-Cohen’s own unexpectedly soprano voice. “Damn you @Azzageddi! Stop influencing my hero! Now he believes that he can only pray upside down in a turu.”

The Monkey King breathes a sigh. this is better

05:29 am The trader told me that no hero should own something as powerful as my golden brick, and gave me 1077 coins to destroy it.

15th October 2015 06:40 pm Carefully placed the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all doors, and cut the ribbon in a stately manner with my sword. I can’t believe it’s finally happened! After all these months of work, the temple in your name is finished, my Lord! I feel crazy with happiness.