1. Achievement Unlocked GV: “Take the first breath”
The night was just about to die, the first ray of light shined over the golden brick lying at the base of temple. The head priest woke up and groggily looked for his hammer. He slammed the hammer with all his might and spoke in his deep voice, “Wake up, you must”. Other priests woke up with a start. They all bowed to the Head Priest and asked for blessings. The youngest one opened the make believe door of the temple and searched for the milk bottles. He was placed in an utter bewilderment, as he found himself staring at what looked like an over sized basket. He called out for other priests and they looked curiously at the odd thing. The basket contained a bundle of blankets and it was moving slightly as slurping sounds were issued from it. There was a glowing scroll stuck on to it. Head priest moved forward and opened it. He read out loud,
“’Sup humans? This is me, your God. How is it hanging? I know, I know, it’s always the same with ya’ll. ‘We have no temple’. ‘We are cold’. ‘Help us’. Well guess what, today’s your lucky day. I have sent you a temple builder. Have fun.
Peace, The Almighty One
PS: I was in the Halo battle of my life last night and built her in a hurry so that she could be delivered by the morning post(evening storks ask for more treats). A few features of her like intelligence and common sense are not up to scratch. So yeah…"
A collective sharp intake of breath followed as the Head priest removed the blanket. A woman dressed in the most curious assortment of clothing opened her eyes and stepped out of the basket. She stretched out her limbs, threw the last empty milk bottle on the floor and blinked at the priests surrounding her. She spoke in her trilling voice, “If you people really want me working to my best potential, you really oughta buy better beer. That white stuff was too light. Ugh”. She looked heavenwards, raised her hands in a prayer, “Exalted one! I reached safely. I will start working on building your temple after these people get me some decent buzz. Lot’s of love xoxoxo”.
A voice from the sky boomed back, “Good to know. Get to work brave Jawaan Sheila. You have my support, always. But if you bother me during my ‘me time’, I swear to myself that you wouldn’t be able to guess how many lightening bolts hit you x”.
As Jawaan Sheila tried to perform a special Salute to her God, Kaam Dev, she tripped over her own feet. Priests facepalmed together, and the head priest muttered, “A bad feeling, I have about this”.
2. Achievement Unlocked GU: “Guild Up!”
As the mere mortal Jawaan Sheila was busy collecting bricks and manage beer money, latter being of more importance to her, her God Kaam Dev sat in the heavens drinking Coke admiring her work. Ok, not exactly admiring, he did have a few grievances. Ok, not a few but a lot. Darn! You and your stares! Admittedly he was facepalming just about every time he checked her progress from his heavenly device of communication and entertainment(Cell Phone). He chuckled sometimes. But most times it was a facepalm thunderous enough to shatter diamonds.
It was one such day. Jawaan Sheila’s one particular idiocy resulted in three trees sacrificed to Kaam’s wrath. As Kaam Dev was about to send another lightening bolt, his good old friend and fellow god Dreamslayer asked him to stop. Dreamslayer explained how he experienced similar stuff with Gimpyslave. Kaam Dev asked how Dreamslayer solved that problem. Dreamslayer said, he didn’t. Not really. But he got Gimpy to build the Unleashed Guild. Kaam Dev enquired, as he served Dreamslayer a beer and had a Coke himself, how did that help? Again Dreamslayer said, it didn’t. But, now Gimpy atleast has a group where everybody did similar stuff. Kaam Dev thought for a while as both sipped their drinks and then asked, how can he get Sheila to join. Dreamslayer started explaining the complicated rituals and sacrifices involved. After half an hour when Dreamslayer stopped and Kaam Dev asked, no really, how? Dream slayer grinned and said, try ‘Join “Unleashed” guild’. Kaam Dev thanked Dreamslayer whole heartedly and stared down on his mere mortal disciple. She and him were gonna have a talk.
3. Achievement unlocked CW: “Chat Wars”
Kaam Dev put down his third Coke cup. He was sure that sending Jawaan Sheila to Unleashed guild was the way to solve his problems. But this presented a problem in itself, how to get this message across? I can create a new specie of talking birds and train them to repeat my words, Kaam Dev thought out loud. But that would take a lot of time out of Halo Night and that seemed like a less than bright idea. Plus the thought of bird poop was equally off putting.
When nothing struck him, Kaam Dev, just yelled , Jawaan Sheila join “Unleashed” guild! Suddenly his heavenly device of communication and entertainment(Cell Phone) beeped with a reply. “Not today Almighty, I have a headache!” A bit bamboozled, but yet encouraged seeing some process, Kaam Dev called out again; this time a bit mildy. His heavenly device of communication and entertainment(Cell Phone) beeped again, “This is my two weeks notice Mighty one. You talk and in two weeks I’ll notice!” This was getting curiouser and curiouser.
Half hout later, feeling weak and severly drained of his Godly powers, Kaam Dev’s temper boiled. He had tried being good, mad, threatning, pleading and even couple of times just groveling but nothing had worked. Water was going over his head. He was not going to be stopped by failures but the constant cheeks from Sheila were just too much too handle. Something had to be done. After all, HE was the God in this relationship. Kaam Dev sent a final warning, Join “Unleashed” Guild, or suffer my wrath. Kaam Dev’s heavenly device of communication and entertainment(Cell Phone) beeped and this it read, “You can say that again, Soul Supreme!”
Enough was enough as Kaam Dev opened his secret stash. He whipped out a blue brick he had collected from Jawaan Sheila’s ruck sack and tore open the wrapping. Munching on the unique coloured bar inside, Kaam Dev instantly felt strong again. Next he opened his lightning bolt cabinet, picked one out and lit it up with his divine power. He took aim, and threw one straight at Sheila. His heavenly device of communication and entertainment(Cell Phone) beeped, “Ouch Almighty one, what was that for?” Saying nothing, Kaam Dev repeated the process. This time, heavenly device of communication and entertainment(Cell Phone) beeped, "Was hit on the nape of my neck by a lightning bolt. Now that’s a sign of my god, prayed immediately. "
Who’s your daddy now, Jawaan Sheila, Kaam Dev thought with a sinister grin. Not breaking character, Kaam Dev yelled viciously, Join “Unleashed” guild. Now. Instantly his heavenly device of communica… (you’ve probably learned what it means by now) beeped, "I feel that being a member of the “Unleashed” guild is a better choice."
Feeling satisfied Kaam Dev sat back on his bean bag of clouds. A little punishment never goes awry, he smiled to himself! It’s Halo time!
Achievement Unlocked AT: “Arena Time BABY!!”
Jawaan Sheila felt her life as a heroine had entered into a rut. It was being too repetitive; same old killing monsters, looting their corpse and selling it. The last fun thing that happened to her was joining Unleashed and even that now had become tiresome. She liked people there, no doubt, but she felt oddly detached. It was as if some beacon inside her kept beeping, “Leave this guild! Join that one!” Guild elders said that it was perfectly natural what did the old farts know. It was most probably their fault. Blaming stuff on other people was Jawaan Sheila’s new character trait. The trader is too dirty to cheat her, the stuff in her inventory was misplacing itself, and her God intentionally kept hitting trees… the list doesn’t end.
One such day when she gave a passing by hag her Alchemical Transmuter, for karmic brownie points, she felt a strange tingle. It’s happening! It’s finally happening, Jawaan Sheila thought. My efforts as to negate all the evil bestowed upon on me are finally working. The tingle was going through her fingers into her arms and flowing into her everybody part from there. The tingle was making her realise muscles she never knew existed. Suddenly the tingle was accumulating in her every pore and expanding; expanding to the levels which made her believe she will explode. The feeling of explosion was in her mind when she actually disintegrated and disappeared from her last location, one step away from Monsterdam.
Before Jawaan Sheila could even begin to curse her now disintegrated self, she felt the curious sensation of being warped through space in contradiction to the laws of travel. The sensation was even more curious because she was feeling something while disintegrated. It ended as soon as it began. The sense of motion stopped no inertia either by the way, and the molecules seemed to attract themselves as she was rebuilt from bottom up. From a Hollywood director’s point of view, this is the scene where they put the actress on a green screen and use an ankle shot which follows the construction on its way up as it happens. The lights are dramatically dimmed and then brightened. Some CGI guy finally finds a day job and today he will be able to buy meat.
Jawaan Sheila notices her surrounding and finds that she is staring at a signboard reading, “All heroes awaiting arena admission please stay sober, you just might be next”. In utter astonishment, she mutters, “Where in Godville am I?” “You ARE in Godville. At the arena to be precise”, a voice responded. Shocked Jawaan Sheila looks for the source but can only look at a giant coliseum and that signboard. She walks up to the coliseum and asks the wall, “Did you just say something?” “It’s the signboard newbie.” “Oh”, said Jawaan Sheila walking back to the signboard. “Before you ask the same old questions asked by about a million newies have asked, you are at the arena. You are here by your God’s will. He wants you to battle some body, don’t follow up with ‘why’, some bragging rights are involved. Please wait till you’re matched with someone. The duel will begin then.” Board said all of that, very fast and in a very bored voice.
Jawaan Sheila was only half way through jotting down what all was said cursing the day she picked up “Poisoned Kiss” as a skill over “short hand”. “What was that last one”, she asked the board with false politeness, “matched was it?” “Board, doesn’t repeat itself”, board said with authority. Finding that the board was not willing to give up any quarters despite in any case after having used, politeness, true politeness, death threats, dating opportunities and even refusing money, Jawaan Sheila sat back to, as she was told, wait. She cleaned her weapon, picked her nose; not necessarily in that order. It was amusing how fast she had travelled; she could finally challenge that Jamaican bloke. When she had just about given up and wanted to go home, the board changed its sign from “Wait” to “Enter”. “Waiting for that, were you” she scathingly asked the board. “May be, but never mind that now Sheila. Go now, for your destiny awaits you.” The doors to the massive coliseum opened and Jawaan Sheila entered. The crowds cheer almost knocked her to her feet but she managed. She could feel it now. Tonight’s her night for she is Jawaan Sheila and she won’t lose to anybody…
5. Achievement locked
6. Achievement locked
7. Achievement locked