“Camouflage is the colour of fear… I have no need to hide from my foes… I have no fear of death. Colours of my Guild i wear openly, they proclaim louder than any words, “I am proud to live – I am proud to die”. No Fear! No Pity! NO REMORSE!"
— Grim Warhammer, Gladiator of the Harvest Moon guild
We do not know what our chances of survival are, so we fight as if they were zero. We do not know what we are facing, so we fight as if it was the dark gods themselves. No one will remember us now and we may never be buried beneath Arena, so we will build our own memorial here. The Guild might lose us and the Godville might never know we existed, but the Enemy – the Enemy will know. The Enemy will remember.
The Blog of Grim Warhammer:
10:58 AM I’m a hero and I’m OK; I sleep all night and I quest all day. I kill monsters, I stop and rest, I go to town when near! And when I’ve got lots of money, I waste it all on beer!
04:22 PM I am so excited about my date with that cute princess! My Lord, do you think I should wear this tie, or… Hey! What am I doing here!? I can’t believe you chose NOW to send me to the arena…
10:04 PM “The Diary of Grim Warhammer” sounds lame. Maybe I should call it “The Epic Chronicles of Grim Warhammer?”
01:32 PM Met Death out in the field. He was in such a hurry that he didn’t even recognize me…
08:18 PM Violence is not the answer, my Lord. It is the question. And the answer is yes.
01:49 AM Chaos, panic, and disorder – my work in this town is done.
01:13 AM I’m beginning to think that my meetings with monsters might not be coincidental. Perhaps Behemoth is a spy and is collaborating with them?
(RIP Behemoth)
10:39 PM Challenged a statue to a staring contest and shamefully lost. Challenged it to a drinking contest afterward and reasserted my dominance.
10:46 PM Joined a crusade against stupidity, but was immediately accused of being a double-agent.
10:15 PM Found an electronic diary on the ground. Left it there. Because anyone who would ever need more than ten entries is beyond me.
01:25 PM Opened a fortune cookie. It read ‘You will be attacked soon’. These things are never true…
12:44 PM Took time out from my busy schedule of death and destruction for a spot of knitting.
04:11 PM Argued with a security guard about my right to set up bear traps to capture an opponent.
11:03 AM After treating me, the doctor tagged me electronically, then released me back into the wild to track my mating habits.
02:39 AM A trader and his shop just fell from the sky to serve me. He’s losing blood fast, so I’d better make this quick.
01:13 PM There are heroes and superheroes. And then there’s me!
20:25 Saw a sign written in Cyrillic text. A translation underneath read, “In Russian Godville, moles upset you!”
02:10 PM Just for once in my life, I’d like the trader to call me “Sir” without having to add: “You’re making a scene.”
09:15 PM Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
12:53 PM Shelby suddenly grabbed me and fled the battleground. Before I could ask why, the Godville Administrator and surrounding countryside vanished into a blinding flash. Thanks for the warning, Omnipotent One!
Love diary of Grim:
05:26 PM With its last breath the defeated Alpha Centaur coughed up Kibela and died. She looked a little shaken up, but handed me a glimmer of hope and 113 coins she found in its belly as a thank you for saving her.
01:11 AM Heard someone shouting “Die, Kibela!” in the distance. I rushed to the rescue, but it turned out to just be an Interloping Antelope brutally smashing a scarecrow. I guess monsters need to practice too.
01:30 PM Notes from the arena: Kibela is on her knees. Grim Warhammer salutes to the heavens! The winner receives a gold brick and 1107 gold coins.
08:22 PM Kibela and I thought up an ingenious plan to make our praying more productive. We each press one of our hands together, which frees up the other hand for objects such as beer glasses. Praising has never been more enjoyable!
11:30 AM I let Kibela play with my weapon for a while. It can’t hurt to have a second set of fingerprints on it.
Kibela broke up with Grim.