Roster of Enemies
🎵 I’m a heroine and I’m OK; I sleep all night and I quest all day. I kill monsters, I stop and rest, I go to town when near! And when I’ve got lots of gold, I spend it all on beer! 🎵
I kept dreaming of a world I thought I’d never see.
I got in.
This is still a chronicle.
IN the beginning, there was a word. The word. Wow. (It stands for Worlds of Wonder)
Four glyphs make up a word, 1000 words make up a Book.
║. BOOK OF CREATION .║
It was a dark and stormy night. Although the darkness and the storminess were somewhat debatable. It was brillig, and the slithy toves actually did gyre and gimble in that wabe down by Mr. Rabbit’s house. It was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness – each of about equal length every 24 hours. Somewhere a ponderous tower clock slowly dropped a dozen strokes into the gloom.
September 16, 00:22 Exalted One, do you know what day it is today? Remember, how you created me years ago?
Yeah I was drunk. 🍻🤣
Here are some glyphs that might tell a story:
Gather round, friends, and stare at this wonderous countertop, until you see visions of the heroine’s memories:
I am the 🌮 🎈 of vengeance!
The Ideabox Rejector and the heroine are discussing the unseasonably good weather…
Two bold items combined: 02:09: Yes, Almighty! Following your command I blindly made a continuum transfunctioner using the a chrono trigger, a community chest and 23 gold coins as materials.
(Too bad I don’t have the GP to activate it now!)
2 Bold activateable items combined into 1 bold regular, but then made it back into a bold activatable one!
12:51: I’ve found a new recipe: take a bioenergy amplifier, merge it with a box with a question mark and you’ll get a black hole punch!
12:52: Yes, Soul Supreme! Following your command I blindly made a box with a question mark using a bunch of hallucinogenic dill, a black hole punch and 23 gold coins as materials.
11:43: Yes, Almighty! Following your command I blindly made a beryllium sphere using the a bunch of wilted flowers, a broken heart and 24 coins as materials.
02:53: Planning to bribe the Godville Times editor to finally make the front page…
03:03: The handsome barman at “Progress Bar” told me that he would definitely go on a date with me if I managed to determine the terminal airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow! I’m sure he wasn’t just saying that to get me to leave. Not this time.
09:15: Don’t know how, but I transformed the astral projector into the Ungrateful Dead. The creature ran away and dropped a no-leaf clover, while screaming something about long-awaited freedom.
10:17: I found a new recipe: take a clear-colored crayon, merge it with a chunk of concrete evidence and you’ll get a corner of the globe!
02:39: Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by their common destiny have defeated the Auriferous Leeching Vertigoat! Ladyitty added 11106 gold coins, ear of the Vertigoat, a body language translator, an universal serial bus pass and a social network adapter to her bag.
Dec. 12, 2012 – 01:00: Wow, 24! I don’t get older, I level up!
Dec. 30, 2012 – 09:15: Reached level 25. Now I am officially allowed to do the things I shouldn’t have been doing. Yeah!
Jan. 6, 2013 – 09:11: Reached level 26. Now I am officially allowed to do the things I shouldn’t have been doing. Yeah!
Jan 8, 2013 – 06:10: Judging by Sparky’s face I think he’s tired of me. I guess it’s time to finally set him free. Farewell, Sparky! I promise to find a new best friend in your memory!
Jan. 14, 2013 – 07:30: I can’t believe I’m level 27 already. People tell me that I look much younger though, and I still act like a total noob.
Feb. 03 – 02:28: I can’t believe I’m level 29 already. People tell me that I look much younger though, and I still act like a total noob.
March 02 – 09:09: Wow, I am level 32 now!
The MOLE population:
- 04:38: There sure are a lot of holes along this path. I guess there must be a serious mole problem in this area.
- Idly watching some upset moles sign a petition to restrict hole digging…
07:42: Burrowed into Last Resort to avoid the gatekeepers, but got fined by a mole for tunneling without a license.
02:04 PM Was resurrected and immediately had to burrow myself out from underground. Turned out someone had buried me in Godvillewood. Thank goodness, I thought I’d been reincarnated as a mole!
Quest #1982: : Find a more mole-friendly way to dig
Quest #2229: : Agree on a dig-free zone with the leader of the mole council
They told me that to agree on a dig-free zone with the leader of the mole council would be a piece of cake. Well, I don’t see any cake, and I can’t eat this stupid golden brick either.
We agreed on it. Too bad for the mole council it’s far away from the paths commonly traveled by us heroes.
Now it looks like the “mole council” is an army:
Stumbled into the wrong building while looking for the “Blue Feather” guild hall, and briefly saw what appeared to be a large group of moles in military uniforms standing around a big map of Godville and pushing small models around on it with a stick. These theme parties are getting weirder and weirder…
Godville was suddenly overrun by a plague of angry moles. Grabbing shovels, my guildmates and I beat them away and eventually managed to drive them back underground. The townsfolk are safe again, for now, and are indebted to “Blue Feather: Bane of moles!”
The earth beneath my feet shook slightly for a moment. It’s either a very small earthquake or another mole just leveled up.
So I finally got a good pet: 01:27 PM I was just about to defeat the Vengeful Mole when he pulled out a beer and offered it to me. Hey, I could use a good drinking buddy. Slapped a collar on him and named him Nipper. He looks like he’s regretting his choice now.
Renamed him to Holymoley!
09:40 PM Good news! Holymoley agreed to match my retirement contribution this time! Together, we deposited 2351 gold coins. Of course, I’m loaning him the money until he earns enough himself.
My mole got chased by a mole?: 03:17 PM Played fetch with Holymoley. I squealed happily when he brought back a ‘Free hug’ coupon, then screamed in terror when I saw the Vengeful Mole chasing him.
More mole-on-mole action: 02:23 PM Holymoley flew into action and landed strike after strike on the Vengeful Mole.
12:23 AM Shadowy representatives of the mole council demanded I go on a quest to get a water sample from the river Styx to atone for my heinous crimes against molekind. They look like they mean business so I’d better do it.05:01 PM I’m so ashamed. Holymoley finally had to go over and ask another vengeful mole for directions. He’ll never let me live this down.
10:27 AM I opened my “Tome of Quests” to a random page and read the first entry. Looks like I’m off to attend a conference on mole-friendly digging techniques!
Quest: Find a more mole-friendly way to dig
Quest: 26.09.21 You know what? Let’s agree on a dig-free zone with the leader of the mole council.
01:09 I was suddenly ambushed by a vengeful mole and its cronies. I thought I was doomed until Holymoley leapt in front of me and growled fiercely. The creatures lowered their heads and backed away respectfully.
- End of Mole Chronicles *
Enjoying the updated sail features Summer 2017:
Got about 15000 gold for a small box and about 25000 for an actual sail treasure.
Islands that can be used more than once do NOT lose their type icon.
April Fools Day 2019:
A box in a crate, a case in a box… In the end I got two logs for the ark. I opened this thing 21 times, Mighty One! That’s what I call unboxing!
08:11 PM From now on, I shall completely devote myself to my quest, Great One! I shall not deviate from… Oooh look! A kitty!
Not long afterward:
Got stuck up in a tree, but a kitten helped me get down.
Note to self: make sure the diaries I buy are pet-proof.
Note to self: stop ignoring notes I’ve written to myself.
Note to self: do not feed horses weird mushrooms.
Note to self: never accept apples from wandering archers.
Note to self: never test the depth of a river with both feet.
Note to self: never agree to go out for a bite with a vampire.
Note to self: Never squash a bee with your bare foot, especially when the pointy end is facing up.
Note to self: don’t try to catch an arrow shot directly upwards.
Note to self: a grinning monster is not always a friendly monster.
Note to self: some false hope is not a boomerang.
Note to self: wishing really hard that the berries aren’t poisonous doesn’t change anything.
Note to self: always wear pants, armor is cold.
Note to self: playing football with a beehive is not a good idea.
Note to self: to score a date with a pretty nurse I need to be patient.
Note to self: Why am I writing in my diary while fighting?
Note to self: B flat.
Note to self: C sharp.
Note to self: noted.
Note to self: When in doubt, mumble.
Note to self: I need to stop making these notes.
(While dead) Note to self: All bleeding stops — eventually.
Nothe thu sthelf: never sthick your tongue to a frothen lamppostht.
07:01 The Capitalist Overlord raised its hand for a deadly final strike against my beloved Simba, when I suddenly threw myself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. I’m dead but otherwise okay. Oh, Most Righteous One, why? I was so young…
[Please leave a copy of this chronicle in every hotel room in town. It has a rating of 5 stars on Godreads! ]