Hero

7d3e4b8669414d9818bbe39ba07e84ed?rating=pg&size=50

Karnish

level 63

Potheads, one and all!

Age 1 year 6 months
Personality gentle
Guild Wandering Wondering Weirdos Wildlife and Preserve
(patriarch)
Monsters Killed about 116 thousand
Death Count 53
Wins / Losses 46 / 32
Temple Completed at 04/21/2016
Wood for Ark 60.1%
Savings 2M, 815k
Pet Satan claus Iago 17th level

Equipment

Weapon transmogrifier gun +72
Shield questionable content filter +72
Head Guy Fawkes mask +74
Body daisy chainmail +75
Arms suicide watch +72
Legs Freudian slippers +74
Talisman unlike button +72

Skills

  • brain dilution level 33
  • powerful sneeze level 32
  • thumb blowing level 32
  • oak cloaking level 31
  • sword-swallowing level 31
  • battle chess level 29
  • glance of Kaa level 28
  • bad breath level 26
  • full throttle level 24
  • asynchronous swimming level 22

Pantheons

Gratitude1870
Might10606
Templehood16289
Gladiatorship10816
Storytelling189
Mastery5340
Taming4229
Survival1368
Savings4080
Creation5725
Arkeology4322
Duelers1110
Unity58
Popularity129
Duelery130

Achievements

  • Honored Favorite
  • Animalist, 1st rank
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Hunter, 2nd rank
  • Martyr, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Shipwright, 2nd rank
  • Careerist, 3rd rank
  • Champion, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

+Resurrected during my autopsy. Gave the coroner the scare of his life.
+A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “At least i do try to help from time to time.” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, Luminous One!
+A voice from the skies thundered: “I’m trying to heal you, but my aim is off again.” Hey, turn the volume down!
+Since my extraordinarily unhelpful goddess refuses to heal me, once again, I’ll have to do all the hard work myself.
+Saw a really cool item at a great price, but Tarintodont wanted it too, so I let him buy it instead.
0 Took a snowball to the ear from Muscular Motivation.
+Great One, you won’t believe this! I’ve just heard how a choir was singing a song with the words “How can you believe it’s the berries? Oh wait, the effects are similar.” in it. I guess you’re getting famous and godpowerful!
Donated sunglasses to the residents of Godville in an attempt to solve the recent eyestrain epidemic caused by a spate of luminous haloes.
Saw a paper with the headline, “BINGO! It’s worth it every time”, Exalted One! You’re front page news!
Spent 5341 coins to heal my pet. He wasn’t knocked out for too long, so he might even get his next level faster. Grow big and strong, my Iago!
-Something is crackling in the skies. Sounds like the Mighty One is having fun.
Puffpuffpass saw me planting some bird seeds. He said it was cuckoo, but I’m hoping for canaries just like the picture shows on the back.
Luminous One, you won’t believe this! I’ve just heard how a choir was singing a song with the words “I know exactly how you feel, don’t like it either” in it. I guess you’re getting famous and godpowerful!
-Shouted, “I am Karnish, member of the “Wandering Wondering Weirdos Wildlife and Preserve” guild. This drought is over!” just as rain started to pour from the sky. Yep, the townsfolk won’t forget this anytime soon.
Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “That’s a relief, knowing i’m louder than the other voices”, Great One!
A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “Some people only exist as irritants to others.” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, Mighty One.
Met Doctor Shakalu. Borrowed some food and a few bottles of healing water. Feeling much better now.
I’m like level 61 now! I’m like way more mature now! You can’t tell me what to do anymore, Great One.
+Won several rounds of darts against Pan-Demonium at the pub, so he had to pay for the drinks. I guess I’ll put these 2284 coins away for a rainy day.
The radiance of a thousand suns lit up the sky above Godville… The townsfolk fell to their knees and begged for mercy, Most Righteous One.II
+ saw Aelah completing the crossword. On closer inspection she’d just written “Thou shall never perish for unperishable thy self” in the boxes.
Iago and I took an IQ test together. Luckily I was able to copy a few answers this time.

What a clever pet!

I can never understand these roadside historical markers. Who is Durel of The Desert of Former Alkies, and why should I care that he died here?
+A Ctrl Freak suddenly fell from the sky right onto my weapon, dropped a root of all evil into my pocket, and thanked me with its last breath. If only all villains were like this guy!
+Running out of ideas, I simply told the mime he was in a box. He tried to get out for a while, but then became claustrophobic and collapsed. Now I don’t know how to get him out, so I’m just going to walk away.
Looks like I’ve finally managed to trap a mime in an invisible box.
Endboss told me that even the most stingy traders would bite at the fantastic flour. If that’s true, the fish will bite for sure.
My horoscope in the Godville Times told me that today I should buy beer, kill monsters, and unsolve a generic mystery.
+Suddenly heard some buzzing coming out of my knapsack, and the Self-appointed Expert lost its will to live as it witnessed the power of my ka-boombox. Nice.
+A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “Only when you do the funny dance.” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, Mighty One!
+ Eldu just passed me the forecast for The Lake of Maiden’s Tears: sunny, with scattered monsters and a chance of lightning.
+A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “Yes, but it’s not as fun when i harass the flowers..” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, Exalted One!
+Thought I saw Ripley Siv and proceeded with our secret handshake. Got fined 1255 gold coins for assaulting a stranger.
+Iago looked briefly to the skies, then suddenly bit into my collar and started dragging me back to town.
Quest Reach the end of a treadmill (epic)
+Shouting “Victory or Death!” I heroically charged the Pro-Life Zombie… Next time I’ll choose my words more carefully.
+Saw a paper with the headline, “Give him lots of love, just like i give you”, Great One! You’re front page news!
Omnipotent One, I just became aware that your saying, “That was magic Karnish, how did you do it?”, is widely spreading around. Sounds like a great prayer to me.
+Iago jumped into a bush and came out bigger and stronger. Wow, he leveled up! Maybe I should try that.
+The sky suddenly turned dark and an array of fireworks spelled out “Wandering Wondering Weirdos Wildlife and Preserve”, lighting up the sky and mesmerising everyone in Godville. Simply marvelous, my Lady!
+Closed my eyes and saw “Will you win without Iago to help you?” etched behind my eyelids. This must be what they call 20/-1 vision.
+My Goddess, I’ve been bashed and battered. Please make me a twin so I can use him for spare parts.
That was a tough fight, but I finally overpowered my enemy, and stabbed him repeatedly to make sure he was dead. Then I left this little note in his diary to commemorate our epic battle. Sincerely, Bricked Indeterminator.
+Goldkiller suddenly rushed past me, barked “Hi”, and finished off the Hellaphant. Thanks!
+Saw a paper with the headline, “Well I’ll be, no one would do that without my permission”, Soul Supreme! You’re front page news!
+Iago suddenly grabbed me and fled the battleground. Before I could ask why, the Neck Romancer and surrounding countryside vanished into a blinding flash. Thanks for the warning, Exalted One!
1Wow, this brings back a lot of memories. All reminding me of why I left to begin with.
I was so happy to complete my quest to knock at Baldur’s Gate and run away that I passed out. I don’t remember what the reward was, but I’m sure it was good.
Lullaby Girl saw me planting some bird seeds. She said it was cuckoo, but I’m hoping for canaries just like the picture shows on the bag.
Iago viciously snuggled up to the enemy, striking it with high voltage charges of static electricity.
Fell into another hero’s trap. I would have been injured, but Saint Marasphica was lying at the bottom and broke my fall.
You know, Almighty, it looks like people are passing your saying, “That’s right, my boy, pretend it ain’t happening”, around as a prayer.
Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “No comment to your squishy feeling”, Soul Supreme!
16:03 The Slender Man was eliminated. Found the java scripture. Played truth or dare with Furen. He dared me to take candy from a baby. Time to do a new quest.
Saw a paper with the headline, “It was, it was but, you know how much i like showing off”, Great One! You’re front page news!

14:37 Pretended not to see an impudent face taking my saw tooth, nicotine eye patch, lucky jackalope’s foot, laughing stock cube, get-into-jail-free card, pecking order form and transparent highlighter pen from my inventory
05:41 Deposited 4376 gold coins in the bank as my way of apologizing for what I’m going to do next.
15:13 Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “This time it’s your meds and nothing to do with me.”, Soul Supreme!

01:29 Played truth or dare with Fruity Pants. He dared me to pass the tutorial level. Time to do a new quest!

07:48 As I raised my weapon to finish off the G.I. Foe, a bolt of lightning struck it and burnt it to a crisp. Mighty One, that kill was mine! Stop hogging all the glory!

11:35 After lengthy mathematical calculations involving some dice and several beers, I have decided to mow the surrounding lawn. Onwards to glory!

19:21 Confronted the ancient evil and read to it from my Chronicles. Not sure whether I should be insulted or relieved that it’s now snoring away.
Just as I was telling myself that my quest to lull the ancient evil back to sleep wouldn’t complete itself, it completed itself! Found myself with 2357 gold coins in my pockets.
12:33 Hold my calls, Great One: I have an urgent appointment with an infuriated Evil Genius.
10:35 I guess a raven is like a writing desk because there is a ‘b’ in both and an ‘n’ in neither.
Looks like I’ve finally managed to find out how a raven is like a writing desk. Received a confidence-building sense of accomplishment as a reward.

11:32 If I pray hard enough, maybe the Exalted One will change the color of my eyes to green. Then they’d match my armor!

13:27 A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “Iago, I’m so glad that Karnish has you to look after him..” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, Soul Supreme!

14:18 Just saw the doctor. I’d be much happier about my results coming back negative if it hadn’t been a personality test.

11:50 The crowd here must love me! As soon as I entered the arena, they began showering me with gifts from the stands. I added a potato-powered lightbulb, a list of 7 Unspeakable Words and a trigger-happy meal to my inventory, as well as several pieces of soft fruit for my next meal.

00:02 Just saw my diary spontaneously combust. Good thing I have this spare diary, but there go all my childhood memories.

22:37 Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by the Great Random have defeated the Leeching Sneaky Alpha Mole! Karnish added 3935 gold coins, eye of the Alpha Mole, a golden brick, a high-definition dictionary and some street credit to his bag.

22:26 Suddenly wanted to examine the dimensional destabilizer and make something useful out of it. Bad luck — an angry gremlin jumped out of it, snatched 1230 gold coins out of my pockets and vanished.
Salmon Cakes ran out of the bushes shouting, “Karnish, I’m coming!” and ran right past me. Well, you know what they say — if you want something done right, do it yourself.
My Goddess, why can’t you warn me the next time a mighty Hydracula is about to jump out of the bushes? The shock is just too much for my poor heart.
You know, my Lady, it looks like people are passing your saying, “Dude, I need your admiration and eternal love, it’s about time you repaid for my generosity”, around as a prayer. Isn’t that great?
I decided to give the Kung Pow Chicken mercy. Wait, no. I decided to give the Kung Pow Chicken a merciful killing. I always mix those two up.
1A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “You remember that next time you visit feel like complaining about my aim..” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, my Lady!
1Experienced a sudden premonition that clearly showed me the most efficient way to count how many steps it takes to wear out a pair of shoes. A good thing too. My original plan would have taken so much longer, including a tavern visit or two.
1Was about to spend my money on some delicious beer but constant reproachful glares from Iago guilt-tripped me into adding 2662 coins to my retirement fund. Darn that satan claus and his moral compass!
15:26 Suddenly clouds filled the sky and a lightning bolt struck the WANTED Mind Boggler, turning it into a tombstone with the words “Killed by proxy” engraved on it.
02:15 Tried something new by doing exactly what those in front of me were doing. Strangely, others copied me.
Great One, remind me never to follow by example again. I didn’t get anything for it, not even a ‘Thank you’.
16:13 Pulse… check. Breathing… check. All limbs… check. Looks like I’m alive again. Off to the tavern!
04:30 A zombie tried to eat my brain. It seems I didn’t help to feed the poor fellow’s hunger.

11:35 I’m not dead, Mighty One, I’m just taking a break from the living.

03:52 That was a tough fight, but I finally overpowered my enemy, and stabbed him repeatedly to make sure he was dead. Then I left this little note in his diary to commemorate our epic battle. Sincerely, Combustible Piñata.

16:03 Met Toyonus during a rest by the wayside and borrowed his diary to read. The writing is so similar… We’re obviously soulmates.

16:08 What a surprise! Quann stopped by to visit me. We chatted over a few drinks of healing potions.
05:17 Crop circles have appeared in the fields around Tradeburg and bear a striking resemblance to the crest of the “Wandering Wondering Weirdos Wildlife and Preserve”! I hope the damage doesn’t affect beer production, Great One.

17:49 Little Baby Woods asked me if I could finish his quest to take the hounds of war to the dog park for him. I’d do anything to help a frie… Hey! He hasn’t even started!

04:17 You know, Mighty One, it looks like people are passing your saying, “Shut up, it’s all about you, you, you!”, around as a prayer. Isn’t that great?
03:09 Got hit on the head by a flying can of meat, with a label reading, “You won’t ever become a vampire, not until I skate on Hell’s frozen flames..” How did that get past my spam filter?

01:35 A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “There, that’ll keep ya going for a while..” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, Great One!

11:55 I was just about to defeat the Satan Claus when he pulled out a beer and offered it to me. Hey, I could use a good drinking buddy. Slapped a collar on him and named him Iago. He looks like he’s regretting his choice now.
19:52 Suddenly, an enormous foot descended from the heavens and stomped the monster to death. There was much rejoicing.

OMG! A personal intervention! What a rare occurence at this special time of year, two days before something called ‘Christmas’.

19:33 Exalted One, I just became aware that your saying, “If it’s blue, it is for me, you know that.”, is widely spreading around. Sounds like a great prayer to me.
15:56 Thanks, Almighty. That strange candy-coated chocolate manna you sent me was rather bland but it sure did melt in my mouth.
14:00 Just realized that Roahon the king worships a different god. Great One, can we still be friends? Please?
19:47 Heard a loud popping noise right before confetti and glitter rained down from the sky. Thanks, my Goddess. I’m going to be picking this out of my hair and armor for weeks!
11:53 Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “You have no idea if the day I’m having and it’s not even lunchtime yet.”, Great One!
10:50 During our fight, the Ideabox Rejector was hurled high into the air by a random tornado. Its body didn’t come down until after it was struck by a series of lightning bolts and fireballs. Omnipotent One, are you having a bad day?
15:35 Well, you take the small-scale, low-mass theory of quantum mechanics and combine it upon itself trillions of times over and the forces constantly build up, eventually meshing perfectly with the large-scale, high-mass theory of relativity. Obviously. I mean, who doesn’t know that?
Hope that I won’t have to unify quantum mechanics with relativity again. But the reward was good: an extra dose of experience and a shiny golden brick!
02:18 Was about to commission a local artist to create a marble statue of me for my guild hall. I’m glad I decided against it and put those 1064 coins into savings… Word is that he’s just another chiseler.
23:06 Most Righteous One, I just became aware that your saying, “Wow, that’s your first bath in months, are you feeling alright?”, is widely spreading around. Sounds like a great prayer to me.
13:24 A bright light flashed and the Treblemaker turned inside out, then exploded. That was just a bit disturbing, Luminous One.
11:19 I heard Ripley Siv talk about her new Pathological Friar boots, so I searched for a Pathological Friar and killed it, only to realize it didn’t wear boots. Silly monster!
18:17 A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “It wasn’t the berries it the mushrooms or anything you ate..” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, Luminous One!
12:45 A beautiful rainbow suddenly appeared in the sky, sparking rumors that this was your handiwork, Mighty One!
22:25 A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “I know the feeling, just like when I want to zap a monster and end up getting you..” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, Great One!
03:25 A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “You know me, never one to linger longer than needed..” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, Exalted One!

02:14 My Lady, there is a fine line between not listening and not caring. You seem to walk that line every day.
21:20 Won several rounds of darts against Pandana at the pub, so she had to pay for the drinks. I guess I’ll put these 2178 gold coins away for a rainy day.
05:16 Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “Shut up and dance, dance I said, like your grandma.”, my Lady!
04:11 The sky split open and I glimpsed a formidable face. It said, “Shut up and dance, dance I said, like your grandma..” That was creepy!
18:50 The doctor said I needed to eat more fruits. Told him that from now on, I’d have a slice of lime with each beer.
16:05 The gladiators’ yearbook just came out. The editorial staff captioned my picture, “Voted least likely to successfully put the cat back into the bag.” Time to prove them wrong!

22:11 A mad scientist tried cross-
breeding a gopher with a woodchuck. The resulting creature chucked out a log of gopher wood into my temple before running off.

A good chronicle needs a great collection of the hero's deeds, and that is what we have here - lots of them to give us a better understanding of said hero. I'm hoping that one day they'll be enough to compile an epic story.

23:55 Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “O was aiming for the other guy, sorry.”, Most Righteous One!

16:06 I heard that if you love someone, you should set them free. I released Cuddles into the wild to pursue his hopes and dreams. Meanwhile, I’m off to pursue all my greatest ambitions, in the tavern.

16:06 A massive tablet suddenly fell from the sky. Inscribed upon it were the words: “Cancel quest!.”
16:06 Found a note stuck to the bottom of my beer. It said, “Congratulations! You’ve been poisoned! If you extend pet registration we’ll give you the antidote.” Sounds like fun. Except for the poisoning part.
15:56 Sometimes at night I hear the ghosts of long-dead heroes warning me of dangers ahead. Then I realize it’s just Cuddles passing gas in his sleep.
06:50 I didn’t manage to heal up my pet’s wound in time. Well, Cuddles, your regenerating abilities will help you to recover, but I think level-ups and pantheons are not for you anymore. On the other hand, who needs those silly things anyway?
21:05 You know, Great One, it looks like people are passing your saying, “Shut up and do your thing for my glory and so forth.”, around as a prayer.
01:05 Exalted One, I just became aware that your saying, “It’s always the mushrooms, my dear.”, is widely spreading around. Sounds like a great prayer to me.
09:17 Just as the Phlegm Fatale was about to finish me off, Cuddles gamely threw himself head-first at the creature, killing it instantly. He’s been stupefied since, with his eyes crossed and his tongue hanging out. I promise I’ll heal you, my brave, loyal bipolar bear, if it’s the last thing I ever do!
14:04 Look, Great One, I’m trying to concentrate right now, so can you put the laser pointer away? Anyway, why are you shining it on the Tiny-Sized Giant? …Oh, nice shot.
03:47 Tough crowd, these hyenas. When did they learn to throw tomatoes?
They said only an idiot would try to perform stand-up comedy for a pack of hyenas. I guess they were right: after all the travels and blood, I only got a jar of sunlight and 909 gold coins.
17:48 After trying to get a very large square peg into the round hole for awhile, I simply gave up and tried a much smaller square peg. Fit right in. Probably should’ve tried that sooner.
My quest to find a square peg that fits into a round hole was completed with excellence! Got a shiny golden brick and felt great about it.
15:11 Disassembled the bunch of hallucinogenic dill and the bowl of leeches and cream, hoping to create something new out of them. The result exceeded all expectations — I reassembled everything and made a victory sweetener out of the remaining parts!
17:09 Suddenly had an amazing thought, but it was blocked by an error message stating: “Sorry, the same idea has already been submitted.” Odd.
09:52 Just reached the ocean on a river of my tears, which were created purposefully and solely for this quest and have nothing to do with monsters bigger than me forcing me to run away scared all the time.
For completing an epic quest I was complimented, fed and given six logs for the ark and a golden brick as a reward.
03:53 Caught a trader cheating customers. Received some gold for my silence.
03:05 You know, Most Righteous One, it looks like people are passing your saying, “I was being encouraging you are encouraged aren’t you”, around as a prayer. Isn’t that great?
02:04 A giant balloon appeared in the distance. A sign that said “Go Karnish!” was posted on it. Exalted One, could you try to be a bit more useful?
20:35 Artillis stopped by and gave me a hug. Life is beautiful!
01:40 Suddenly remembered that I carry a weapon and struck the Snap-Dragon with it as hard as I could. What an amazing result! I should do that more often!
09:18 Got a great piece of equipment – an unconscious armadillo – a reward for reducing the Tyrannosaurus-Ex population.
03:28 Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by the Great Random have defeated the Faithless Skilled Vertigoat! Karnish added 6208 gold coins, eye of the Vertigoat, a graphics engine, an Enigma machine, a Fabergé omelette and a root of all evil to his bag.
03:13 Found it. Time to rush in.
Somehow managed to find where angels fear to tread and was rewarded with a special trophy. I wonder, if an invitation to hell is any good?
It turned out that to find where angels fear to tread wasn’t the last task of the quest! Now I have to calculate a snowball’s chance in hell.
06:40 As Cuddles began to glow and grow, fleas jumped off his fur and performed an elaborate celebratory dance number. Why don’t my fleas do that when I level up?
15:21 According to my calculations, doomsday has already happened more than a thousand times.
19:38 Scraped together 12349 gold coins and managed to persuade the priests to heal my pet. Oh, Cuddles, I’m glad to see you in great shape again!
01:42 The Nuclear-Powered Plant raised its hand for a deadly final strike against me, when Cuddles suddenly threw himself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. Cuddles was knocked out by the impact of the monster’s carcass. Oh, my Lady, if I don’t bring him back to his senses in time, he’ll lose all his levels and his will to compete!

Take a look at “The allegory of the Puzzle” – https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.thepuzzle

01:55 You know, Exalted One, it looks like people are passing your saying, “There. That wasn’t so bad, was it? You were lucky the dice missed you.”, around as a prayer. Isn’t that great?

01:34 Found the body of a dead adventurer by the side of the road. Oh, it’s one of mine!
14:06 You know, Soul Supreme, it looks like people are passing your saying, “I oughtto have left you with Death for a while longer.”, around as a prayer.
20:08 A horrible Capitalist Overlord is charging towards me! Oh Great One, I beg you to stop this cruel game with human lives!
23:31 I can’t believe I’m level 56 already. People tell me that I look much younger though, and I still act like a total noob.
23:31 Felt a burning desire to examine the mystery box. Found something unbelievable inside — a scroll with instructions on how to get a premature level up!
10:33 Suddenly, Cuddles began to spin in a circle at really high speed. When it finally stopped, I noticed that my pet had leveled up and was also wearing a super-bipolar bear costume.
23:41 A mad scientist tried cross-breeding a gopher with a woodchuck. The resulting creature chucked a log of gopher wood into my temple before running off.
08:39 I would like to thank my parents, my agent, my guildmates, fellow heroes and most of all my Goddess. Without their love, support and constant vigilance, I just wouldn’t be where I am today. Dead.
08:24 I was just about to defeat that Serial Killer Bee when I swallowed a fly. I had to swallow a spider to catch the fly and one thing led to another and now I’m dead, of course.
02:41 Thought I’d count the number of good ideas I’ve had today. Including the idea to count my ideas, I’m up to one.
02:45 Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “Would you like tequila with that?”, Almighty!
14:06 Played fetch with Cuddles. I squealed happily when he brought back a broken rearview mirror, then screamed in terror when I saw the Unbearable Grizzly chasing him.
01:58 A voice from the skies shouted: “Don’t worry I’ve been practicing my aim.”
01:57 Felt lightning strike my weapon. When I pulled it out to examine, I found the words “Well not exactly but you have to do something don’t you moster the next best thing”, engraved on the side. Almighty, what if you had missed by an inch?!
01:55 Cuddles suddenly doubled in size and began to punch the living daylights out of the Western Broom Warlock. Hey, wasn’t that what I was supposed to do?
01:15 Something tried to happen, but couldn’t. Lost the acme monster trap in the process, but found a gopher wood brick instead. Your deeds are marvelous, my Goddess.
00:28 I was going to follow my dreams, but they took out a restraining order. I suppose I’ll have to take a meteor shower instead.
23:53 Just ran my fingers over an old battle scar, and was shocked to find that it said “Karnish, go discover a golden opportunity and paint it silver!” in Braille. Not sure how I can suddenly understand Braille, but I’d better do what it says.
21:11 Have lots of original and viable ideas. It’s just that my original ideas aren’t viable and my viable ideas aren’t original. Either this is both or neither, so help me Luminous One.
07:57 Was about to spend my money on some delicious beer but constant reproachful glares from Cuddles guilt-tripped me into adding 3350 gold coins to my retirement fund. Darn that bipolar bear and his moral compass!
17:38 Some say it’s the reason heroes drink, and that it once swallowed a hero whole just to prove it wasn’t poisonous. All I know is that it’s called Cuddles, and it just leveled up.
02:13 A talking paperclip popped out of nowhere and proclaimed, “It looks like you’re fighting a Boy Who Cried “Dupe”!” I grabbed it and repeatedly smashed the vicious beast over the head with it.
02:25 Cuddles’s hospital bill: 11374 coins. Having my favorite bipolar bear back in one piece: priceless.
00:25 Just as the Bubblewrap Mummy was about to finish me off, Cuddles gamely threw himself head-first at the creature, killing it instantly. He’s been stupefied since, with his eyes crossed and his tongue hanging out. I promise I’ll heal you, my brave, loyal bipolar bear, if it’s the last thing I ever do!
18:16 Almighty, you won’t believe this! I’ve just heard how a choir was singing a song with the words “Cuddles is so cute and clever, unlike someone i know” in it. I guess you’re getting famous and godpowerful!
17:11 I found Cuddles dueling a wild squirrel. Awww, who’s the ferocious little bipolar bear?
25 Notes from the battlefield: The Cholestroll was triumphantly defeated! I’ve gained more experience and looted some gold, but it’s time to return to my heroic deeds.
02:06 Saw a paper with the headline, “For crying out loud Karnish, the trader’s cheating you so, I’m punishing you.”, Great One! You’re front page news!
00 I’ve realized that to prove it can always be worse, one needs patience, lots of energy and good sense. That’s why I’ve got Cuddles.
04:15 Most Righteous One, you won’t believe this! I’ve just heard how a choir was singing a song with the words “Sure was, you know all blue stuff is mine dear.” in it. I guess you’re getting famous and godpowerful!
01:34 step 20 2016 Amane Misa is on her knees. Karnish salutes to the heavens! The winner got richer by 5803 coins and a golden brick.
01:34 step 19 2016 Karnish pelted Amane Misa with cake and custard. Amane Misa looked a trifle hurt.
Under instruction from above, Karnish attacked the enemy with his full strength, instead of the token effort he’d been putting in so far. Amane Misa was injured out of sheer surprise.
A voice came from somewhere above, “Attack! Punch! Kill!.”
Amane Misa held up her weapon as high as she could, ready to attack. Unfortunately, being the tallest object, she was struck by lightning.

16:43 Filed down the Boogie Woogie Man’s claws so that it wouldn’t be so intimidating. It gave me 129 coins for the manicure.
14:56 “A happy bipolar bear means a happy hero.” That is what I shall keep telling myself until Cuddles is done destroying my house of cards. Argh, I can’t take it anymore! Let me chew on it too!
00:25 Almighty, you won’t believe this! I’ve just heard how a choir was singing a song with the words “About time it’s so tiring looking after you” in it. I guess you’re getting famous and godpowerful!

11:05 Ok, my Lady, that’s enough drinking for today. I’d better put aside 6350 gold coins for the future and spend the rest on praying.
16:20 Couldn’t find the acoustic chair and non-existential spoon in my inventory, but found 2045 coins instead. Bingo!
07:06 Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “But it’s BINGO, don’t you understand”, Almighty!
02:55 All the catfish did was flip, flop and flap in the litter box until I put it back in the tank, now it’s floating at the top, hope no one notices for a while.A hero’s work is never done, but my quest to train a catfish to use a litter box certainly is! This golden brick is a nice reward for such a thankless job.
15:52 The gladiators’ yearbook just came out. The editorial staff captioned my picture, “Voted least likely to successfully train a catfish to use a litter box.” Time to prove them wrong!
21:29 While I was making my way out of the graveyard I bumped into a zombie. Poor fellow, his god hasn’t done a very good job at resurrecting him…
14:40 As I delivered the final strike to Spraying Mantis, it yelled “Today is opposite day!”. I perished and the Spraying Mantis looted my corpse. Felt like I had been fooled.
04:34 Suddenly felt extremely drowsy and fell asleep. Woke up to find my equipment patched up and a note at my feet that read, “Fixed by Emergency Dwarf Squad, as per the orders of this hero’s goddess.” This is so bizarre!
02:36 Saw a paper with the headline, “Karnish, why does Death warmed up look better than you?”, my Lady! You’re front page news!
01:07 A giant balloon appeared in the distance. A sign that said “Go Karnish!” was posted on it. My Lady, could you try to be a bit more useful?
18:57 Soul Supreme, you won’t believe this! I’ve just heard how a choir was singing a song with the words “I do like it when you turn blind eyes to the bingo” in it. I guess you’re getting famous and godpowerful!
02:18 I heard that when it rains, it’s because you’re crying. Don’t be upset, Great One! Look, I’m doing a little dance for you!
22:35 Soul Supreme, I just became aware that your saying, “I didn’t think you’d notice that fine line, oopsy.”, is widely spreading around. Sounds like a great prayer to me.
19:07 I awoke to see that Cuddles had clawed several marks on the ground. Upon further examination, these marks spelled out, “find out what victory tastes like.” I guess Cuddles really wants me to do this for him.
09:15 Saw a paper with the headline, “About me respecting your privacy we need to have a chat about it after theseworfd from our sponsors”, Luminous One! You’re front page news!
11:37 A passing Ravenous Bugblatter Beast told me that the best revenge is living well. I’ll kill it for teasing me with unattainable aspirations!
09:06 Won several rounds of darts against Nichola Tesla at the pub, so he had to pay for the drinks. I guess I’ll put these 3625 coins away for a rainy day.
01:50 Cuddles stood in front of me and enthusiastically wagged his tail as I scratched his ears. It wasn’t his fault that the attacking monster got flogged in the process. That’ll teach the Combustible Piñata about interrupting hero-bipolar bear time!

This fight has a special rule: the divine influences here are more likely to backfire than usual. It seems that this is not the first fight between Misti Serin and Karnish – the current score is 1:0.
Shouting, “金May the gold be with you”, Misti Serin welcomes her opponent. Karnish idly responds with “Potheads, one and all!”. The judge ensures that both opponents have equal chances and the duel begins.
00:27 Notes from the arena: Misti Serin begs for mercy. Karnish definitely fulfilled his god’s expectations today! The winner got richer by 5780 coins and a golden brick.
17:00 Stumbled upon a long-dead hero clutching an ancient-looking scroll that reads: “Your Ideabox entries will be accepted shortly”.
15:52 Scraped together 10219 gold coins and managed to persuade the priests to heal my pet. Oh, Cuddles, I’m glad to see you in great shape again!
11:47 A sudden downpour forced me to take shelter in a nearby cave. While I was looking around, I noticed something on the wall. Upon closer inspection I saw a message that promised a great reward for anyone who would make a nice shirt out of the fabric of reality. Looks like a job for Karnish!

18:12 Starting to realize that the existence of thousands upon thousands of other heroes makes me a little less special. Sad.

17:11 Saw a paper with the headline, “Wow! A female trader! That’s a first.”, Mighty One! You’re front page news!

Stared intently at the trader hoping she would give me a discount. She asked me out instead. Great One, I just became aware that your saying, “Of course my dear so, I’m going to send you to the arena, aren’t you lucky?”, is widely spreading around. Sounds like a great prayer to me.

Was about to spend my money on some delicious beer but constant reproachful glares from Cuddles guilt-tripped me into adding 2321 coins to my retirement fund. Darn bipolar bear and his moral compass!
Tried to recall when and why I started writing a diary. I couldn’t, but I recorded my efforts.
I awoke to see that Cuddles had clawed several marks on the ground. Upon further examination, these marks spelled out, “acknowledge the elephant in the room.” I guess Cuddles really wants me to do this for him.

22:15 You know, Omnipotent One, it looks like people are passing your saying, “Cuddles is so cute, that’s why he gets a treat and you don’t.”, around as a prayer. Isn’t that great?

20:53 A Mad Scientist suddenly fell from the sky right onto my weapon, dropped a gopher wood brick into my pocket, and thanked me with its last breath. If only all villains were like this guy!

19:46 Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “I’m getting bored entertain me fool”, Most Righteous One!

20:54 The doctor told me he was inspired because I was a person who loved nature in spite of what it did to me. Wait, what?

12:13 Thanked my Lady for all the little things in life… and for the earth-shattering meteorite that crushed Dead Terrorist.

19:22 The Question Marksman was preparing to finish me off when it glimpsed my guild badge and said “Wandering Wondering Weirdos Wildlife and Preserve? Why didn’t you say so?”, patted me kindly on the head, and smiled as I stumbled away.

7:53 A Guild Usurper suddenly fell from the sky right onto my weapon, dropped an Encyclopedia Godvillia into my pocket, and thanked me with its last breath. If only all villains were like this guy!

Hello, I'm the chief chronicler and I'll be taking over from the research and translations team. Looking over the notes, our hero has had quite a journey. My, my how interesting and the notations bring him to life, shame they were stopped, I find them more insightful than just plain text. But, I shall strive to do my humble best to bring some sense and continuity to the heroics of Karnish.

07:36 Saw a paper with the headline, “Bingo! that’s what the matter is, all is great.”, Soul Supreme! You’re front page news!

00:48 Was about to order my first drink when a picture of a quaint little cottage by the lake caught my eye. Seems like the right place to settle down one day, so I left and invested 481 coins towards that dream instead.

16:47 Mighty One, have you seen the collide-o-scope, money-tree sapling, ‘Monsters’ Rights Movement’ pamphlet, get-into-jail-free card, ashes-to-dust converter, needle from a haystack, alpha mail, flat globe of Godville, silence-o-meter and medieval jukebox? No? Alrighty then.

02:44 An extremely excited heroine bounded up to me and yelled, “I can’t believe some of the clever things you do”, before being dragged away by several men in white coats.

10:50 I’ll admit, in human weight I’m not perfect, but in bipolar bear weight, I’m spot-on!

11:36 Stopped by at the ‘Progress Bar’. Gave 1071 coins to the bartender and waited for my drink, but instead of a beer I received a check saying that I had progressed in my Savings Pantheon ranking. Don’t know whether to feel happy or betrayed.

03:56 Disarmed the Great Caesar’s Ghost. I wonder what I should do with this arm… Hey Cuddles, fetch! – that's so cute! Almost makes me want to go and find a pet of my own to play 'fetch' with...

15:17 A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “The trader is cheating you, my dear, shall I punish him?.” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, my Lady!

An enormous hand came floating down from the sky and slapped me, sending me flying into the air… I landed in the middle of the arena with a strong thirst for combat.

A zombie hand rose from the ground and held Shyborg by the foot as lightning struck him. Seems like Goddess iliana has had enough of Shyborg.

A pouch with 483 coins in it fell from the sky onto the trader’s counter. He gleefully claimed it, then grumbled and handed it over when I pointed out the “Property of Karnish” tag.

08:33 Exalted One, I just became aware that your saying, “I keep sending you girlfriends but they keep getting lost in the post”, is widely spreading around. Sounds like a great prayer to me.

My Lady, I just became aware that your saying, “Far to the left of where you started, that’s where you are, right here”, is widely spreading around. Sounds like a great prayer to me.

14:42 My Cuddles looked at me quizzically when I shouted “Far to the left of where you started, that’s where you are, right here” at him instead of shouting “sit”.

121:08 Subliminal advertising implanted the phrase “As long as you believe in me my dear hero it doesn’t matter about the rest” in the dark recesses of my mind.

9:09 A mysterious admirer bought me a pint of beer at the pub. After immediately skulling it, I noticed “Would you orchestrate an unnecessarily complicated raid on a rival guild’s headquarters for me?” engraved in tiny script on the bottom of the glass. Oh, the trials and tribulations I must endure for my fans!
13:17 Just encountered an Inevitable Hulk selling bootleg ‘Potheads, one and all!’ T-shirts. It shall pay dearly for this trademark violation!

11:37 The File Executioner recognized me as one of the heroes who let it go when it was still a wimpy monster. Had a good chat and went our separate ways.

06:39 Got a bit bored, so I helped reset the arena between duels. Reburied a few zombie hands, shoveled some unicorn dung, and found a few shards of shattered confidence embedded too deeply in the wall to pry loose.

05:46 Saw a paper with the headline, “You have won my Divine Grace my dear Hero”, Most Righteous One! You’re front page news!

05:36 You know, Exalted One, it looks like people are passing your saying, “I scare you to remind you to thank me for my kindness”, around as a prayer. Isn’t that great?

00:50 A torrential rain converted the battlefield into a rejuvenating mudbath. The opponents returned to the fight feeling refreshed. The faithless boss seems to be unaffected.

Finally caught that little punk who kept tagging your temple with obscene runes, Great One. Tanned his hide and dragged him down to the guard post by the ear. He turned out to be the captain of the guard’s son.

Shouted, “I am Karnish, member of the “Wandering Wondering Weirdos Wildlife and Preserve” guild. This drought is over!” just as rain started to pour from the sky. Yep, the townsfolk won’t forget this anytime soon.

16:03 I was just about to finish off the Big Bad Bed Bug when I suddenly thought of yet another dull anecdote that I simply had to share with everyone, and ran off to clumsily append it to my chronicles.

02:02 Mighty One, I just gave 2912 gold coins to kids to have your name written all over the city and especially on taverns and holy places. Now everybody can really see you in everything.

13:04 The Chewbaccacabra revealed itself as a sales rep and handed over a free sample of some permitted fruit before rushing off to catch the next hero. Talk about aggressive marketing.

Was swinging the incense burner when it flew out of control. Caught it in my bare hand by reflex and burnt myself. I’m very sorry for blaspheming loudly in the middle of your temple service, my Goddess.

Thought about doing something really nice for you, Mighty One. Didn’t actually bother doing it, knowing it’s the thought that counts. You’re welcome.

02:11 Pondered taking the path of atheism for a moment but then realized that I’d have no one to complain to. I think I’ll stick with you, Most Righteous One.

A high priest rolled up his sleeves and slapped Cuddles, instantly bringing my beloved bipolar bear back to consciousness! At least, I think he was a priest… Paid him 8470 coins anyway. Oh Cuddles, how I’ve missed you!

I was suddenly overcome with a lust for battle so overwhelming that I lost my bearings in a wild frenzy. When I came to my senses, I was at the arena with rubble on my clothes and a smoking trail in my wake. Neat!

The mighty hunter stalks his prey. He moves with the skill and prowess of an experienced predator… singles out the weakest glass of beer… and pounces!

14:14 Was nearly sent to an asylum for saying weird things like, “If you don’t heal your pet, I shall punish you into oblivion.”

Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Scurrying Pickpocketing Faithless Terracotta Worrier! Karnish became the owner of 4571 gold coins, hoof of the Terracotta Worrier, a golden brick, a less-than-stellar star chart, a resurrection permit and the lunchbox of Notre Dame.
Cherubs descended from the sky and endowed everybody with happiness, leaving nobody unattended. Great One, are you in the mood? ^wish my deity would be this nice once in a while.^

I just got word that “Wandering Wondering Weirdos Wildlife and Preserve” is hosting a party in Bumchester. I better get back there before I miss it.

Rolled the Hunchback of Monsterdam up into a tiny ball and placed it upon a tee. Upon aligning my weapon, I took aim and swatted the beast across the field where it landed in an empty grave. Hole in one!

I’m not sure if the Genghis Leprechaun is dead. All I can say is that it has lost its head. Literally.

Notes from the arena: Htwe is unconscious. Karnish successfully fulfilled the goal of praising his deity! The winner receives a gold brick and 10316 gold coins. The winner gets a log of gopher wood in accordance with the special rule of this fight. As a sign of heroic solidarity, the winner returned 78 coins to his rival for buying medicine.

Everybody in the town square suddenly began to sneeze, but their sneezes sounded unsettlingly like “Wandering Wondering Weirdos Wildlife and Preserve”! Is that your idea of viral marketing, Exalted One? thank goodness we're allowed notations again, bless the Chief. This entry might explain all the weirdos about today.

12:33 The town doctor healed my wounds. I’m feeling so strong now! I’d better sit down and wait for the feeling to pass.

Great One, you won’t believe this! I’ve just heard how a choir was singing a song with the words “All blue stuff is mine, so you won’t see it again” in it. I guess you’re getting famous and godpowerful!

[Suddenly wanted to examine the deus ex machina and make something useful out of it. Bad luck — an angry gremlin jumped out of it, snatched 1118 coins out of my pockets and vanished.]

A wandering monk said that the gods like to see an atheist around, it gives them something to aim at.

Grant me the power of immortality, Mighty One, so that I may do stupid things and not have to consider death as a consequence!

My Lady, I just became aware that your saying, “You ask for a sign I make a beautiful face out of clouds do you know how difficult it is”, is widely spreading around. Sounds like a great prayer to me.

A voice from the skies shouted: “You ask for a sign I make a beautiful face out of clouds do you know how difficult it is.”

Finally found some fool who was able to save me from all these tribbles. I even managed to get 5156 gold coins for them!

09:54 Good news! The doctor just found traces of blood in my alcohol stream.

23:53 The continuum transfunctioner suddenly fell apart. Three tribbles that appeared to live inside immediately moved into my backpack. Oh, gods…

I’m a hero and I’m OK; I sleep all night and I quest all day. I kill monsters, I stop and rest, I go to town when near! And when I’ve got lots of money, I waste it all on beer!

I’m a courageous hero so I struggled mightily; hurdles never bother me anymore. Whenever I encounter one from now on, I slink under it as fearlessly as possible!
Though I was hoping that succeeding in my quest to get over the fear of hurdles would win the respect and admiration of my peers, this golden brick will have to suffice.

I heard a nearby Questing Mascarpony yell “Potheads, one and all!”. You can assault me, kill me, take all of my gold and items, but when you steal the motto that I worked so hard to coin, that’s when it’s personal! It’s on now!

°Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “As soon as I figure out how to teleport myself I’ll let you know”, my Lady!°

I felt a sudden tingling and a surge coursed through my body, setting my hair ablaze. I appreciate your enthusiasm, Mighty One. But next time, could you dial it back a little? I don't know why it's funny but u can't stop laughing a thank the stars for predictive.

A terrible Biggerfoot known for terrorizing the neighborhood and abducting peasant women was pulled out of his hole by the divine power and turned into a stone statue. Peasant women are praising my Goddess and singing and dancing in rings.

Tried to steal a free donut, but was caught and had to pay the shopkeeper 40 gold coins.

Met a madman. We decided to switch roles temporarily, for a laugh. No one seemed to notice…

You know, Most Righteous One, it looks like people are passing your saying, “Just the mushrooms you ate earlier.”, around as a prayer.

Exalted One, did you know that you’re actually my heroine?

You know, my Lady, it’s lucky that no matter how far I travel, and how strange the creatures I encounter are, everybody speaks English. And almost nobody speaks Russian.

“Stand back, Cuddles! I’m going to try… science!”

My wily Cuddles jumped on the monster from behind. The Dead Ringer obviously didn’t expect such a cunning move from my pet.

Tried on a winner’s medal in anticipation of my match victory. It don’t fit. Neither did the championship belt. Trying really hard not to wonder if fate is telling me something

My Lady, I’m off to make all the difference in the world. The temple’s sacrificial flame is off and the doors are locked. Don’t wait up, it looks like I’ll be a while.

Flipped through the Godville Times. Apparently the new phrase of the week is “Happy Birthday Godville, Karnish isn’t that great?”, Omnipotent One!

Oh look, a dungeon. What could go wrong?A friend of mine said that just before we went into the dungeon. I sill have nightmares about it.

Today’s resolution is to drink even more beer, kill even more monsters and complete all my quests.these monologues with the Divine One are so touching.

Mighty One, I don’t know whether life is passing me by… or trying to run me over.

Ouch! Cuddles, stop that! I don’t want to go that w… Oh, you found the right path.bless the fool and his pet.

A giant pair of dice came tumbling down and struck the Mathemortician. Would you quit gambling with my life, Exalted One?

Luminous One, I just became aware that your saying, “Very much so my dear I do need the blue stuff”, is widely spreading around. Sounds like a great prayer to me.

Stood up in the tavern to make a toast to you, my Lady, but all that came out of my mouth was, “Very much so my dear I do need the blue stuff.” What the heck did the bartender put in my drink?

Bought some fake healing potions from the trader for 386 gold coins. Maybe some will turn out to be duds and end up healing me.

Watched Cuddles sleep as he cuddled against my leg. Aw, what a cute little bipolar bear…

Gave Cuddles a flea collar. Received a bar of soap, a stick of deodorant and a toothbrush in return.

16:36 “A happy bipolar bear means a happy hero.” That is what I shall keep telling myself until Cuddles is done destroying my license to own a license.

10:49 I didn’t try to kill this Hidden Dragon, my Lady, I swear! I was just cleaning under my fingernails with my weapon, minding my own business, when the Hidden Dragon came from around the corner and ran into it…

16:37 A huge mole appeared in front of me with a note stating that my goddess wants me to explore a dungeon.

08:35 Suddenly felt the urge to disassemble the mystery box in the hopes of finding something useful inside. Bad idea — right in the middle of the process a spiteful gremlin jumped out of it, grabbed 1278 coins from my pocket and ran away.

08:34 I was lying under a rock, reading myself my last rites, when a Bird of Paradise flew up my nose. Hey! I suddenly feel much better!

23:48 When I went to check on my temple, I found a wanted criminal sleeping off a hangover. Turned him in for the reward of 3289 gold coins.

18:39 I placed twenty bags of gold on the sacrificial altar and offered a quick prayer to the Great One asking for a better life… It worked! I felt my experience bar increase in size.

A little pink cloud descended in front of me. I reached out to touch it and withdrew a handful of cotton candy! Spent the next few minutes in utter bliss. Yum yum!

11:53 The sky suddenly turned dark and an array of fireworks spelled out “Wandering Wondering Weirdos Wildlife and Preserve”, lighting up the sky and mesmerising everyone in Los Demonos. Simply marvelous, my Lady!

11:48 Notes from the dungeon: The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. Karnish gets 23378 coins, a log for the ark, a motion potion, a crackerjack prize, the key to success, a heart of gold, a portable tunnel, a golden ticket and a center of gravity.

Karnish is sniffing a daisy while skillfully dodging Nachomancer’s furious attacks. Our hero is ever so brave and dashing. We are not really allowed to do these notations but, many of us feel that just the raw translation, without editing, is simply not enough to convey the true meaning of Karnish's adventures. I'll probably get in trouble for this comment and it would be worth every second of my punishment to be able to share my admiration for the Goddess and Karnish.

16:45 Played truth or dare with Lord Stick. He dared me to put an end to the Never-Ending Story. Time to do a new quest!

16:15 I placed ten bags of gold on the sacrificial altar and offered a quick prayer to the Exalted One asking for a better life… It worked! I felt my experience bar slightly increase in size.

11:06 A merchant tried to sell me some bootleg “I am the Divine one, course nothing escapes my attention.” T-shirts. You’re getting famous, Exalted One!

16:43 A heavy satellite suddenly dropped out of the skies, missing me by a couple of inches. My Lady, I assure you that this was not what I meant when I asked for better communication between us.

19:56 Suddenly realized that to become the 69th member of the guild “Dragonslayers” doesn’t sound heroic enough for my chronicles. Thank you, Almighty, that could have been a real stain on my reputation! – I really wish I knew how to make those boxes.

18:54 Scraped together 6784 gold coins and managed to persuade the priests to heal my pet. Oh, Cuddles, I’m glad to see you in great shape again!

09:56 Luminous One, I just became aware that your saying, “Yep it is Holly magic, you can thank me later”, is widely spreading around. Sounds like a great prayer to me.
01:46 Most Righteous One, you won’t believe this! I’ve just heard how a choir was singing a song with the words “Cuddles looks more experienced, has he leveled up?” in it. I guess you’re getting famous!

00:20 It doesn’t matter where I am. My god will send a lightning bolt to me twice or more wherever I am. I’m blessed to have such a reliable god.
My quest to find out where lightning strikes twice was a complete success. Got a slightly scuffed golden brick as a reward. I think I’d rather use this brick in the back corner of my temple.

2:44 Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Squandering Hulking Pickpocketing Alpacalypse! Karnish got 6176 gold coins, lucky paw of the Alpacalypse, a golden brick, a golden brick, a time amplification device, an irrelevant quest item, an Easter egg detector and a center of gravity.

22:42 Karnish tried to punch the air but missed, giving Alpacalypse a black eye.

22:41 Alpacalypse was knocked off his feet thanks to an uppercut from Karnish.

22:35 Karnish took a pose for a crane kick. Alpacalypse laughed so hard that it actually hurt.

22:34 Karnish lay lifeless on the ground. As Alpacalypse approached, he suddenly sprang up and attacked. The “playing possum” strategy worked!

22:33 A peal of thunder distracted the fighters. It seems like it was Goddess iliana’s doing…

22:31 Karnish suddenly noticed that his weapon had caught fire and immediately rushed into attack, landing a scorching blow. Goddess iliana is on the watch.

22:19 What kind of hero would ask rhetorical questions while running away from an angry Buzz Bunny?

02:41 Launched into an elaborate interpretive dance to illustrate the pain and sacrifices I endured to acquire my kamikaze survival guide. The emotional intensity of my performance overawed the trader so much that he handed me 136 gold coins before I even completed the prologue.

{{bc. The latest find:}}

You know, Almighty, it looks like people are passing your saying, “Because you’re my hero, who else is there.”, around. - Have nothing witty to say to this here, little gem.

Saw a paper with the headline, “yes I can lip read, take that back, now!”, Almighty! You’re front page news! -Where, oh where, is today’s entertainment? They don’t make ’em like they use to do. I wonder if Y-factor will be on tonight?

A terrifying Enemy of the People is approaching, but I am not afraid, because I have my valiant Timon by my s… Hey, you coward, come back here! -Exasperation at the fickleness of his beloved pet running away from battle.

Lets face it, we all know the feeling when that happens and I'm really glad that, even back then, our beloved hero faced the same problems that we are still struggling with now.

A gust of wind lifted me off the ground, and as it swirled around me, it whispered "I love you Karnish and Timon!.” - I know, just as you do too, that is was the Great Goddess iliana.

He answered My Lady, sometimes I think praying is optional. But I will do it anyway. Such devotion! It definately inspires me to apply myself more to my own relationship with the Great One! I wonder if it does that for others too

I was suddenly ambushed by a ninja tortoise and its cronies. I thought I was doomed until Timon leapt in front of me and growled fiercely. The creatures lowered their heads and backed away respectfully. I must remember to treat Timon next time we’re in town… _- We have, on good authority, that at this stage Timon is level 17 and is known as Vigorous.

’’What’s taking the quest giver so long? He’s usually awake at this hour… Oh, whatever. I’ll just do something that the government will officially deny while I wait and check back for a mission later.’’
- A perfect example of the dedication and eagerness our beloved Karnish took his devotional responsibility to the Great One, may she always smile down upon us.

‘’Tried to stay in touch with reality but it just wouldn’t return my calls.’’ - Positive proof that, even back then, reality was hard to find.

- Isn’t that right Petal?…..
- Who?
- Don’t be absurd, I’d never call you that….
- Ah….
- If you must know, I was talking to my imaginary pet…
- What?
Don’t mind him Petal, he is envious because no imaginary pets have made friends with him.

“Timon snorted disdainfully and laughed at my futile attempts to make all the difference in the world. Now he’s making faces at me. If you
think it’s so easy, why don’t you try it
yourself, you silly ninja tortoise?”

- This shows that his beloved pet really did play a major role in helping our hero become the person he is to us today. I guess no one will dare laugh at my ninja tortoise so, what if he is a bit slow and I have to carry him everywhere… Oh, right, back to Karnish. He is our example of how best to lead ones life, that reminds me, pub, pray, quest. See you later…

’’Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies." - Is the most famous qoute Karnish is said to have allegedly said. The scientific masses have yet to find any of the many supposedly existing diaries our beloved Hero, as legends tell, had written over the years in his quest to build the magnificent temple of our beloved Goddess iliana.

Him & him alone has ever heard the guidence she has to offer & experienced the miracles we all pray for, (to tell us which plants are useful so that we can illigalise them & thus forcing the populace to buy our less effective, definately more expencive than the free gift of our Divine deity has created & get rich quick) & expose some mysteriuos roumours surrounding that historic duo.

We will keep digging & eventually let u know everything that we think u might enjoy. While keeping all the juicy parts to ourselves.

Guess that’ll do for an opening. Now then, who’s up for getting spaced?