09:55 Went past a fearsome-looking hero with a massive, oversized sword. Think you can hook me up like that, Exalted One?
10:06 Saw a sign reading “awesomeness guild rules”. Amended it by adding “Rule 1: Don’t join this guild. Rule 2: If you’re in this guild, leave immediately. Rule 3: Join Mystic Drago instead”.
10:27 The presence of the Omnipotent One filled me with determination.
11:13 Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Explosive Faithless Overhearing Alpha Mole! Dragonborn sorcerer got 5034 gold coins, a shred of the Alpha Mole, a golden brick, misplaced confidence and the stuff of legend.
11:56 Easily managed to go there, do that, get a T-shirt and got a “I Love Godville” T-shirt as a reward. Hooray! The mini-quest has been completed!
12:05 The Enlightened Nobodyguard was subjected to a spiritual cleansing through sacrifice. To the glory of thee, Luminous One!
12:56 As I entered the town square, a flash mob appeared and sang a rousing rendition of the “Mystic Drago” theme song, along with elaborate choreography, then faded away into the cheering crowd.
13:32 The Enlightened Beelzebieber challenged me to a shootout at high noon. Not wanting to waste daylight, I started the fight immediately.
14:48 Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Leeching Skilled Alpha Mole! Dragonborn sorcerer became the owner of 5733 coins, fur of the Alpha Mole, a golden brick, a golden brick, an obscure cultural reference, some cryptograham crackers, a can of borrowed time, a get-out-of-jail-free card, a deus fax machina, a psionic tonic, a recovery disk, black mail, a fantasy archetype, a “Learn LISP in 24 Centuries” book, a hoof of the Alpha Mole and a root of all goodness.
15:31 Carried Tige on my shoulders, so that he could see over the tall grass and alert me to possible danger. So far he’s alerted me to a ball of yarn, a dead pigeon and a lady ballpoint penguin.
16:22 Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Mutating Sneaky Censorcerer! Dragonborn sorcerer got 3057 coins, a hoof of the Censorcerer, a golden brick, some tough luck softener, a midnight train ticket and a modular nodule.
18:05 Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Summoning Auriferous Gladigator! Dragonborn sorcerer became the owner of 7400 gold coins, an eye of the Gladigator, a zombie survival kit and an eye of the beholder.
18:23 The sunlight flared a brilliant white, and by the time the city-dwellers had blinked away the spots, one of their community revitalization murals had changed to depict me and my guildmates. Surely the people of Godville will feel blessed that such beauty graces their dilapidated walls!
18:44 The Hair Elemental raised its hand for a deadly final strike against me, when Tige suddenly threw himself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. Tige was knocked out by the impact of the monster’s carcass. Oh, my Lord, if I don’t bring him back to his senses in time, he’ll lose all his levels and his will to compete!
19:12 I like to refer to my monster-slaying duties as “the process of elimination.”
20:23 Opened a door to what I thought was a bar, but instead it led me to the arena. Alright, Exalted One, I guess I have to fight for my booze.
20:34 A freak gust of wind blew my guild promotion flyers out of my hands. Amazingly, a sudden vortex then dispersed the flyers, sending one into the letterbox of every household in Godville! Truly, “Mystic Drago” will blow all other guilds away in this town.
At this rate, Dragon god Bahamud will soon have enough ingenious pieces to make an entire ingenious.
Dragonborn sorcerer — 24th-level adventurer, member of the “Mystic Drago” guild, with the motto “Mystic Drago guild fever”, stands at the 26th position in the pantheon of duelers under the vigilant supervision of the god Dragon god Bahamud. He is known for his disarming smile and ability to wake even the most exhausted comrades with his laughter.
08:51 Dearest diary, today was the day! I carefully laid the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all windows to let your glorious light shine in. I can’t believe it, your temple is finally finished, my Lord! I feel delirious with happiness.
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12:32 The xmas stocking suddenly jumped out of my backpack, fell to the ground, started to sizzle, and slowly transformed into a vial of holiday spirit.
14:30 Nessie got tired of my constant dawdling, grabbed me by the neck and dragged me at top speed for several miles. He can be a real jerk sometimes.
14:32 Had to pay a “stabling fee” of 74 coins for Nessie. You’d think he’d know better than to lick the Quirkytown guard post in a blizzard.
19:21 The Godvilla raised its hand for a deadly final strike against me, when Nessie suddenly threw himself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. Nessie was knocked out by the impact of the monster’s carcass. Oh, my Lord, if I don’t bring him back to his senses in time, he’ll lose all his levels and his will to compete!
09:46 A log! A thousandth log! I’m even ready for a flood now. Not that I’m asking for it, Luminous One.
10:41 Come on, Drago, we have to go down to the docks. Mighty One wants to play with his floaty toy.
helpless desk heroes is a heroic horde of 33 heads located around the 77th place in the pantheon of Adventure. Some of the guild members have been heard calling each other “helpless”. Despite all the protests, the Hacked Accountant is a totem of this guild. Guild’s admission tests include proficiency with the “powerful sneeze” skill.
11:16 The Count Spatula raised its hand for a deadly final strike against me, when Drago suddenly threw himself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. Drago was knocked out by the impact of the monster’s carcass. Oh, my Lord, if I don’t bring him back to his senses in time, he’ll lose all his levels and his will to compete!
12:15 I spent 6818 coins to heal my pet. He wasn’t knocked out for too long, so he might even get his next level faster. Grow big and strong, my Drago!
12:31 Was just about to finish off the Errorist when I spotted Death lurking in the shadows, waiting to claim the beast. Looking back, it was probably a mistake to high-five him.
after this, a test being performed to see if keeping the hero dead as benefits. so far, we got a ceremonial offering and a hurricane in a bottle, a ka-boombox as well as nice death puns and the spookyness aura.