07:41 PM It’s been a full day and my Lord still hasn’t brought me back. I have one word for this occasion: BRAAAAIIINS…
09:44 AM Found a pile of nuts and grains with a sign that said “Free Birdseed.” Stopped for a snack and a Hypnopotamus on rocket skates tried to grab me!
10:43 PM It’s a tough job, Almighty, and somebody’s got to do it. Not me of course, I’m a little busy right now. Somebody else definitely.
10:35 PM Managed to get 486 gold coins from the trader for my treasure chest expander. Luckily he didn’t see the graffiti of a famous artist’s name sullying the bottom.
01:59 AM I told the healer that I hear voices in my head telling me to do things. For some reason he nodded knowingly and gave me some medication.
02:54 AM Today, I’m doing nothing because I started doing it yesterday and I haven’t finished it yet.
07:36 AM The Beta Jester fell before my might. I received 40 coins and a “Dummy’s Guide to Dummies” guide.
10:59 AM Confessed my sins to the priests in the temple. I don’t regret them, it’s just nice to reminisce.
11:00 AM The town mayor asked me if I have a plan B in case I have difficulties with my quest to tickle a dragon until it cries “uncle”. Plan B? Heck, I don’t even remember ever having a Plan A! 11:31 AM The guild doctor transplanted a Spring Chicken’s liver in place of my own. Can’t wait to test it out in the local tavern!
11:47 AM Tried to give my offering to a monk, but he said that the Omnipotent One wouldn’t bless such a violent person as myself. I took offense and stabbed him in front of the altar. Looks like I doubled my sacrifice!
12:52 PM I’m in the middle of my daily exercise of one sit-up. I started it this morning when I woke up. I’m going to finish it this evening when I lie down.
Copying other heroines’ answers on the doctor’s symptom questionnaire…
http://godvillegame.com/duels/log/ta9pf
01:58 PM Found a goose that laid golden eggs. It was delicious.
06:47 PM Spent some time pondering the difference between ignorance and apathy before realizing that I neither knew nor cared.
08:07 PM Stumbled across a sign that read: ‘Caution: Reading this is a waste of your precious time!’
03:32 PM How is it possible that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes the whole box to start a campfire?
08:05 PM There was a mix up at the store and I was accidentally given healing items instead of booze for my journey. Darn that trader!
02:36 AM As I was staring at the assorted pastries and candy in the shop window, my heavy breathing eventually revealed a secret message in the glass: “Go put the cat back into the bag!” This is gonna be sweet!
05:37 AM Bought a skill upgrade coupon at the local community center for 2877 coins. Used it to upgrade my “acid tears” to level 5.
01:36 PM The trader told me that my outfit was so last season. Bought a bulletproof monk for 1961 gold coins to bring my look back up to date.
04:26 PM This seven-sided nut is a well-crafted, limited edition and perfectly suited for stylish yet brutal combat, but I bought it because it was shiny. It’s certainly worth 1486 coins! 02:27 PM They were giving out free equipment at the traders. I got a beehive on a stick and only had to pay 1195 coins in shipping and handling. I love free stuff!
09:20 PM Tried to get rid of all these tribbles, but they bluntly refused to come out of my loot bag.
12:08 AM Finally found some fool who was able to save me from all these tribbles. I even managed to get 3010 coins for them!
05:58 PM Jumped through a portal… and reappeared right behind it. Didn’t travel very far, but at least I’m still alive.
01:36 AM I successfully completed the quest to fight fire with fire without getting burned. Looted treasure – check! Slain princess – check! Rescued dragon – check… Um… I think I made a mistake somewhere. I’d better get rid of the evidence…
12:37 PM Asked the trader to prove to me that he wasn’t giving me coins made of fool’s gold. He said that technically any gold of mine would be fool’s gold. That’s one less thing to worry about then. 01:08 PM I’m sorry, Omnipotent One! I promise on my life, I won’t die again!
09:40 AM Showed my diary to the psychiatrist. He said it looked like the work of hundreds of different personalities, rather than just one. What do shrinks know anyway?