Guys: Meet Painkillar.
Faster than a bullet
Enraged and full of anger
He is half man and half machine
Rides the metal monster
Breathing smoke and fire
Closing in with vengeance soaring high
He is the painkiller
This is the painkiller
You may (probably not) have guessed I am a Judas Priest fan.
Oct 25 2019:
Yay, I got at pet!
I looked into the kind eyes of the vanquished monster and suddenly decided — Firefox, you’ll be my pet! And I’ll call you Pinky. Bandaged his wounds, gave him a treat and fastened the leash.
Oct 25 2019:
5 bold pieces of equipment!
Weapon+22 Cowboy’s lariat
Shield+19 Shield of the SWAT King
Body+18 Braveman’s quilted coat
Arms+17 Edward’s scissorhands
Dec 15 2019:
You bloody rock! 17 bricks in 24 hours.
Dec 22 2019.
Awesome! It should be Christmas all year.
30 bricks in 24 hours. I am so pleased with my hero
Jan 22 2020
My guild was in the news today!
Paramedics is a guild ranked 11th in the pantheon of adventure, consisting of 32 heroes and heroines. The highest rank here is “paramaitre”. Hemogoblin declined to comment on its relation with this guild. This guild specializes in how to find something that duct tape won’t fix.
Feb. 2 2020
13:49 Dearest diary, today was the day! I carefully laid the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all windows to let your glorious light shine in. I can’t believe it, your temple is finally finished, my Lord! I feel delirious with happiness.
It was hard work and it took me 130 days.
Not THAT calls for a Carlsberg or two!
Feb 2. 2020
Hah, I went from 1. position in the Pantheon of Construction to 32772 in Templehood
March 17, 2020
I spent 17840 coins at the tavern to keep my brain in good health. I’ve culled the weakest brain cells so the strong ones will thrive.
March 18, 2020
Just a little fun:
You know, Gentle One, your poem is spreading like a wildfire:
When in trouble,
Or in doubt,
Run in circles,
Scream and shout.
March 22, 2020
Full plate in the Bingo
That’s all for today! So far you’re top-2.
April 20, 2020
20% logs for the ark
May 5, 2020
25% logs for the ark
June 29, 2020
New Achievement – “Animalist, 1st rank”!
I will fight to keep Pinky alive until I have the ark.
June 29, 2020
My guild was in the newspaper again:
Paramedics is in the 10th position in the pantheon of adventure, unlikely though it seems. Veterans in this guild call themselves “paratriarch”. Hemogoblin is a totem of this guild and just a good monster. Based on the Guild Council excerpts seen by the Godville Times Editor… nevermind.
July 16, 2020
50% logs for the ark
August 18, 2020
September 20, 2020
November 9, 2020
New Achievement – “Raider, 1st rank”
And .. 88% logs.
December 16, 2020
A log! A thousandth log! I’m even ready for a flood now. Not that I’m asking for it, Great One.
New medal: 舟
New Achievement – “Shipwright, 1st rank”
It took me 289 days.
January 3, 2021
New Achievement – “Savior, 3rd rank”
50 pair are now in the ark
January 5, 2021
Sailing is hard but I am learning.
New Achievement – “Seadog, 3rd rank”
Feb. 2, 2021
April 11, 2021
200 pairs collected
June 13, 2021
New Achievement – “Savior, 2nd rank”
Collect 300 pairs of creatures in the ark
August 12, 2021
400 pairs collected
Oct 16, 2021
500 pairs collected – half way there ..
Nov 24, 2021
Felt a burning desire to disassemble the continuum transfunctioner. Found a notarized document inside stating that I’ve died fewer times than I thought. Nice.
Death Count 0
Panthoen of Survival 7
Oh hell yes!
Nov 28, 2021
New Achievement – “Moneybag, 2nd rank”
10 mil saved.
Dec. 13, 2021
600 pairs collected.
Dec. 17, 2021
I won the Bingo yesterday!
1. Darkwing Duck (72)
Apr. 12, 2022
I’m like level 100 now! I’m like way more mature now! You can’t tell me what to do anymore, Exalted One.
Jun. 8, 2022
900 pairs collected.
Aug. 9, 2022
Almighty, I just re-counted the pairs and I think the ark now has a thousand of them. We’re not going to cram another thousand in there, are we?
Oct. 15, 2022
It’s alive… It’s alive, it’s moving, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, IT’S ALIVE!
Congrats on accomplishing a mission of a mad scientist! Your boss is now ready and visible to everyone on your hero’s page. This homunculus could barely walk, but it’s already useful even in the present form: once per day you can summon your frankenstein to help your hero in boss fights. While the boss is resting he turns in pennies at the hero’s shop (if there is one) and earns bonus trading experience for the hero. In the meantime you can still collect pairs and parts in the Lab to make an even better boss. No need to hurry, though.
May 19, 2023
Wow, I’m in the newspaper. That’s news!
Painkillar — 108th-level adventurer, member of the “Paramedics” guild, with the motto “Born to raise hell 🧨”, stands at the 84th position in the pantheon of Survival under the vigilant supervision of the god Darkwing Duck. He is known for his disarming smile and ability to wake even the most exhausted comrades with his laughter.