Hey god… where did you get this lollipop? Give me another one will ya?
I promise I’ll fabricate some cool chronicle logs like you told me to
(Slowly flips the book to the title page)
I guess I mistook this chronicle book for my diary
(opens book again)
(takes a deep breath)
Hello there ye being who likes to spy on other heroes chronicles. I am Niyan, the most righteous hero here in Godv-
-ille… Demmit god!! Stop ruining my splendid chronicles!!
《you ruined it first… specifically on the third sentence》
(the sound of silence permeates)
(tries to think of ways to blame god)
(but fails horribly)
《are you getting rebellious now?》
Of cou-(lightning misses by a hair’s breadth)-rse not!!!
What was that ‘tch’ for?! Were you really trying to hit this beautiful me? What would happen if I lost the sacrificial gold I planned to give to you?
《You only ever sacrifice two types of gold anyway: the gold you happened to pick from the road, or the gold you puked on while partying all night long》
Anyway, back to my story. I’m actually a pure-blooded vampire hailing from the great lineage of king Dracula. The palace eunuchs even entitled me as the ‘all-knowing’ at the time I was 6 years old. At the early age of 13 the kingdom promoted me to a head priestess due to my incredible talent, becoming the youngest of all to achieve this rank. However, due to some unfortunate circumstances, I am now stuck with this bastard god who always does these cruel things to me.
《Hey, what’s with that suggestive line? Are you trying to land me to jail?! All I did was send some lightning bolts here and there since you wouldn’t listen to my commands! I also sometimes do it for fun!》-
-《But that’s not the main point! It’s purely your fault for not completely following your kingdom’s god’s instruction on Godville Registration! I’m sure he told you to do it step-by-step, but you somehow skipped some steps ‘accidentally’. It’s your fault for being too lazy! Do you know how I felt when I was teleported to the Registration Room while being in the middle of a bath?!! You even laughed about how I, a grown up, still plays with rubber duckies in the bathtub!!! Do you know the despair I felt when the Permanent Sealing Maching lit up and bound your soul onto mine?!!》
Ahem, let’s stop listening to this useless god of m-
《You dare to call me useless?》
-ine… fine! Come down here and fight me! You think I’m afraid of you! Come, let’s spar!!
《Don’t blame me for what happens…》
…. time to run!
end of first entry
Finally… after a day’s worth of dodging lightning strikes and wasting my god’s power, he finally gave me some breathing space. Mhmm… its definitely not because I offered him my hidden stash of gold coins or anything! Hmph!
Now then… I should probably write about my god for this entry. Yes, I must show respect and give him some exposure in my chronicles!
My god’s name is Cusack, a self-proclaimed great god who claims to have raised thousands of heroes here in Godville. Until the day I met him, I never knew that gods can be as shameless as he is. Did he really think I’m stupid? The ‘all-knowing’ me? He should really try to remember my background sometimes
Right… I should put my first three days with god in this book!
Day 1 with god: “Pfttt! Who brings a rubber duckie in the bathtub nowadays?! Are you a kid?”. Ahhh… how nostalgic, I never realized until then that simply blurting out my inner thoughts can grant me a free ticket to a dance battle with Death… Anyway, the choice of deliberately creating mistakes to escape that creepy god of my kingdom proved to be quite a bad choice. Who would’ve known that instead of that god with a strange taste of liking females with childish looks, I’d land to this cruel and heartless god instead? This crappy registration doesn’t even let me change gods after registering! Oh well, I guess its better than having a pedophile god to serve
Day 2 with god: “Still waiting for an encouragement to come my way. I’m sure that acting like what a good hero would should make it a little bit faster to get this god’s trust! Just a little more and I’ll be able to manipulate him and live a carefree life, away from harm”. What a naive thought I had. Up to this day I have yet to witness my god giving out a single encouragement. All he does is punish me, so much that I noticed it mostly occurs when I’m fighting monsters. I even started utilizing his punishment to deal injuries to my enemies
Day 3 with god: After fighting quite a sum of monsters, I noticed something odd. Toss coin? Choreography? Leaking Health Bars? The gods who created this world must be mental! Not to mention merely annoying this world’s residents would deal more damage than straight up just punching it. I guess being exposed to this kind of environment can turn anyone weird, which explains why god’s personality. Might as well avoid thinking too much about this matter
Day 4 wi-… nah, that should do it for my second chronicle entry
end of second entry
Hello there ya god with an incredible amount of patience. Good for you to be able to reach this far reading my chronicles. Because of that, I have a surprise for you! Try finding the 12th line of the whole passage! I’ve recorded a message there which states the most essential step into achieving higher levels activity in the human brain
Since the intermission number is done, let us proceed to the main topic then. A few days ago, I discovered that my god actually forgot the thing about Hero’s Chronicles. Maybe it’s because he gave up on my entries? or is it because he got busy with other things? If it’s the latter, all I can think of is the thing about his temple. Apparently, creating a temple gives a lot of benefits to gods, and I didn’t really want to involve myself in this farce. However, how can I refuse? He then proceeded to throw me to the arena whenever he had a chance…
Four straight losses… so fun. Somehow, god thinks I’m good at fighting brawls since I’m a pure evil existence. How wrong can he be? Did he really think that I, with no particular experience with fighting other heroes, am able to get the V by myself? I heard that in typical duels, gods interfere at almost anytime they are able to. Why does he force me to fight alone then? I can even overhear both gods speaking about not interfering with the match, which makes me wonder whether god just likes to see me suffer or not
On the upside though, since god probably won’t look at this chronicle book again, I can now put my heart felt words here. I guess I can even put my complaints about how annoying he is and how embarrassing his words are. For instance let me ask you, what do you think you’ll do in a situation where you were seriously fighting a monster, but then clouds suddenly parted accompanied by a large, booming sound: “Smite the balls my servant, THE BALLS!!!”, isn’t it just pure bull? Even though following his commands always does the trick, how embarrassed do you think I am whenever I pull it off?
Now in order to avoid being punished again by my crazy god, I shall now proceed to end this entry and write some fake entries on my diary
end of third entry
Ugh, sixth straight arena loss… god should really stop relying on this RNG thingy
end of fourth entry
Eleventh loss… should I keep this losing streak? Maybe god will finally give up and think its a waste of godpower. Who knows? I hope he gives up soon
end of fifth entry
Vetryanka taught me a special skill that she said no one else knows, called “asynchronous swimming” and swore me to secrecy. I’m not entirely sure what “secrecy” means, but I can’t wait to show everyone at the tavern!
end of sixth entry
Got some news from Amanda Renée Robinson, a professional vampire hunter and dragon cuddler (not sure if I got it right), that people from my bloodline got exterminated by her. What a formidable foe, I guess being able to kill my parents in their own kingdom speaks for itself. Not like I had much of an attachment to them anywa-…
oh my, I guess writing entries in a dark room really hurts the eyes, makes me look like I’m crying. I should probably rest for today
Amanda Robinson huh, I should probably remember that name
end of seventh entry
After some silent negotiation and forceful persuasion, I successfully managed to host a show called “Daily life of a Hero” on Godville Times TV. Now I embark to the journey of getting more fame! MWAHAHAHA!!
I also somehow managed to become a co-founder of a company called Wishing Well Incorporated due to some design I gave to a stranger in Bosswell. It’s just a scheme to profit from coins thrown to the well so how did it become a company? Better not think about it.
end of eight entry