level 44

CarpeCarp! (SeizeTheFish)

Age 6 years 5 months
Personality neutral
Guild Black Market
Monsters Killed about 43 thousand
Death Count 38
Wins / Losses 5 / 1
Bricks for Temple 64.1%
Pet Sun dog Scratchy


Weapon boomstick +53
Shield perfect alibi +51
Head stiff upper lip +53
Body ninja turtle shell +52
Arms unrequited gloves +51
Legs quicksandals +52
Talisman ocarina of time +53


  • palm of the Panda level 26
  • spontaneous combustion level 21
  • asynchronous swimming level 20
  • forced generosity level 17
  • teeth gnashing level 14
  • electro-broom level 12
  • exhaust of the dragon level 11
  • pocket hypnotoad level 10
  • chakra bending level 8
  • Cheshire smile level 7




  • Honored Renegade
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Builder, 2nd rank
  • Careerist, 2nd rank
  • Champion, 3rd rank
  • Martyr, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

I worship the Goddess Cowabungallow!
I really need to start finding more gold bricks for the temple I plan on building to honor and praise the great and wise Cowsbungallow! Maybe I should dig for treasure.

First skirmish today…i’ ve been getting bored with all this questing. Seek this, find that. Yawn. So Daysha and I fought…and I won! I may have to try the Arena soon!

Fought my second skirmish today, against Ddeth and Pooopyface. POOOPYFACE?!! Despite the names, pleasant opponents. Plus, we won!

Emboldened by my wins I decided to try my hand at the Arena. Note to self, next time RTFM BEFORE THE FIGHT! Needless to say, I lost to Lord Purgatory and the Prince of Pain. (really?! Who comes up with these names?) . Personality? Viscious. Or Viscuous. You never know.

Today I fought my second Arena battle, and this time I was prepared! Though the hero Michael-Myers was formidable, and it was touch and go for a while, Cowabungallow and I prevailed! Though I must say that my opponents god Leveosa (and I use lower case intentionally) was a disgusting little creature, starting the duel by*insulting my Lady*, calling her a very nasty name-which he even spelled wrong, the heathen! Well we showed him! My Lady is no stretch of sand, nor a deciduous tree, nor even a female dog, but a kind and loving Goddess (unless I make her angry of course). Hah!

Hey, and today I finally got a personality! Yeay me! (i was getting a bit tired of being a fence-sitter, you know?
+++++ time passes ++++++
Well, humph! My Goddess, Cowabungallow (may she not be listening) left me alone for, like, 8 months or something ! She didn’t even remember my NAME anymore ! In fact (sotto voce) I hear she even misspelled her own. You did NOT hear it from me, got it? Well, of course I needed to be seriously ressurrected, both figuratively and literally. And then she thinks she’s just going to walk off and disappear again? I don’t think so! I skirmished. And won I might add. I hope she sends me to the arena again soon. I miss that place. Sigh. Absence doth make the heart grow fonder. As does absinthe. But thats another story.

Here are the notes from the battlefield…..feb 13, 2012
+10:01: Notes from the battlefield: RYUU X is defeated. Viper3 added 612 gold coins to her treasury. Viper3 now has a second-aid kit and RYUU X’s dog tag at her disposal. +

This is viper3 saying Goodnight…

++++++ SIGNIFICANTLY more time passes. Years. 2 or 3 to be inexact ++++++
Five+ years later….(or maybe 5)
Guess I never WAS good at keeping a diary, though not much has apparently happened. Still have Scratchy….he’s my Sun Dog. I’m also apparently not good at collecting gold bricks. (Used to be more of a ZPG-zero participation from Goddess situation) but turns out it requires some effort after all from my Lady. HEY! Do you hear that #Cow a bungle, ‘lo?# I mean, others heroes are finding enough bricks to build temple in 2 years, while I spend half my time dead these past 5 years! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Some lazy goddesses I chose to worship, huh? Might as well worship Scratchy….Whaddya mean,shhhushhh? She ain’t listening…

Barkeep! Another beer here!

So see, other Temples got built way faster than my Lady’s ( if that’s who she REALLY is). I mean, I’m just not interested in collecting golden bricks when my goddess-who-doesn’t-exist doesn’t check on me in FIVE YEARS!

WHOA! Look out! Heads up! ….What the? Everything is flashing, there’s thunder, it’s almost like there’s some crazy ANGRY goddess in the sky.

Oh. My. Goddess.


FOR those of you with no imagination, I just got a Freakin’ Lightning Bolt in the behind!( maybe I should have said tails up instead, huh?) DAMN! she NEVER uses the punish button, and ….OMIGODDESS, SHE EXISTS!??

NO,M’Lady, I’m not talking trash about you, not for a minute! (oh NOOO, not

DANG! Now I have a penance to do (who knew my Lady grew up RC?) For my penance I now have to do 1000 Hail Sylvias (You know? Cowabungallows MOM? Keep up here!).

July 9, 2017
Well apparently She had been very busy. Doing important goddess things. apparently she’s an important, what she call …an important “domestic goddess” in addition to my own god. No idea I was sharing her! Anyway….back to gold bricking for me!

The week just keeps getting better. This is the kind of day I’ve been having today…. You know, as an example:
“Tried to make an omelette by breaking my stone-shaped rock instead of eggs. It didn’t really pan out.”

November 2017
I don’t like my name anymore, Viper3. it’s stupid. like my parents had no imaginination. Though speaking of imagination, you knew,I can’t actually picture them? How sad is that? Huh….
SO I have no real attachment to my name apparently. Thinking of a new one, but it’s not so easy! I wasn’t something right reflect the new gentle hero I’ve grown to be, something classy perhaps? I’ll let you know. (let who know? Me, Myself and I of course, who else would ever read my chronicles?