HEROINE’S CHRONICLES
Well, for six months I’ve had a stabbing pain in my ear, courtesy of one very nasty Coal Mime. I showed him! Umm… a Shameless Pug took this chunk out of my thigh that never grew back. Plus I’ve got a cracked molar that won’t stop hurting; bit down too hard on a Croquet Mullet (total self-defence by the way). Oh, did I mention my spinal injury from last summer’s run-in with the Asparagoose? And Lady, I’m afflicted by a bald patch—
Umm, what? This space is for my Chronicles?
I thought you said “chronic ills”.
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Never mind.
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Heroine’s Chronicles (afterword)
25-Jan-2018
Today is the happiest of days! At long last, the construction of my Lady’s temple is complete!
Now I can relax and drink beer for the rest of my life, right? …Right? My Lady?
Retiree’s Chronicles
11-Jul-2022
Oh my goddess, can’t believe that I saved all this money! Finally I can have my very own shop! This is the life.
16-Jul-2022
(Trader level 4) To my surprise, my lab boss started “assisting” in the shop. Which is to say, he showed up unannounced, broke a vase, and ate all the Garibaldis when I wasn’t looking.
26-Jul-2022
(Trader level 10) Proudly renamed my new establishment the “Inconvenience Shop”.
30-Oct-2022
(Trader level 30) I’m in the big leagues! Now I can rip off— uh, serve — real live heroes and heroines!
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GODDESS’S CHRONICLES
3-Jan-2018
On this day my heroine elbowed her way fiercely to the coveted #1 position in the Pantheon of Creation. She clung on with her fingernails for a full four days, then plummeted to Pure Goodness on January 7. The girl has been hiccuping between Pure Good and Pure Good! ever since (not counting the 2 days she selflessly descended into mere Virtue to get her pet healed).
My heroine attributes her success at being Purely Good to:
- the amused support of her talking donkey,
- what she calls “reasonable but not excessive” dental hygiene,
- her Goddess’s apparent ignorance of the Punish button.
Update! Update! UPDATE!!!
On 20-Dec-2020, Georgiana1 released into the wild her first – and for a long time, her only – pet: Scrat, a talking donkey. Scrat had been with her for 3 years and 3 months, all but a few days of her Godville existence. However, as he had been languishing in the ark for months on end, Georgiana1 realized Scrat would be much happier roaming the vast meadows of Godville, chomping on herbs of dubious legality and generally not-talking to the world in the way “talking” donkeys do.
Farewell, dear Scrat! You will be remembered with fondness!
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4 February 2024:
02:40 PM Bust It Baby was visiting when a courier arrived with my shiny new Level 50 trader license. For once, we were mesmerized by something other than the shop counter.
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HOW TO KILL OFF A PET YOU DON’T WANT
My article How to kill off a pet you don’t want has been moved to my page on the Godwiki, where it is CONSIDERABLY easier to read!
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…And a smattering of epigrams!
02:58 [2025-03-30] Let it Be Known of Georgiana1, the Mighty, faithful servant of Cham Almighty the Almighty.
Behold her sacred maneuver of “dove of peace”, which she performs even in sleep. Strange trinkets she bears: sometimes the key to happiness, other times some hardware softener. Oft can she be found among the drunkards and brawlers of clan “Harvest Moon”. Known far and wide is her indomitable lava lamb, Pele “Grand”, of most spirited temperament. A pillar of the community, a dealer of misfortune, and a surprisingly talented mime. Let us pause our telling here, lest we leave no tales for the morrow.