On the 21st of August, 2017, the great god of the sun, Beausoleil, brought forth into this world a hero to spread his Word.
Tesekles completed his Golden Temple to the great sun god, Beausoleil, on the 2nd of May, 2018. On the 31st of July, 2019, he completed the construction of his Ark, and prepared to gather pairs of animals.
He was honored by his election as Leader of the Guide to the Galaxy Guild on the 5th of June, 2018. He served several terms, and he ended his time in leadership on the 9th of April, 2020.
Tesekles was blessed as an Honored Favorite of his kindly god on the 20th of June, 2018.
He achieved 50th level on the 10th of July, 2018; 60th level on the 9th of December, 2018.
90,000th monster killed 10th of December, 2018. It was a Ballpoint Penguin.
100,000th monster killed on 27th January, 2019. It was a Lightningale.
On the 21st of September, 2018, Tesekles’s pet and companion, Cupil, reached 30th level, earning the intrepid hero the Animalist badge. On the 26th of February, 2020, Tesekles had a second pet, Heffridge, reach 30th level.
The Day 2989 g.e. (15th of July, 2018) edition of The Godville Times featured Tesekles’ guild during his term as leader:
“Guide to the Galaxy is a bunch of heroes and heroines occupying 19th place in the pantheon of unity. Rumor says there are about 38 of them. “hoopyfrood” — that’s how elites of this guild like to call themselves. Guild’s unity increases with dropping temperature.”
The Day 3058 g.e. (22nd of September 2018) edition of The Godville Times featured Tesekles’ guild once again during his term as leader:
“Guide to the Galaxy is a heroic horde of 32 heads located around the 80th place in the pantheon of unity. The highest rank here is “hoopyfrood”. Almost every guild member finds it offensive to take a turn for the worse.”
The Day 3192 g.e. (3rd of February 2019) edition of The Godville Times featured Tesekles’ guild for a third time during his term as leader:
“Guide to the Galaxy is a group of 38 brave adventurers, who have climbed to 47th position in the pantheon of unity. The highest rank here is “hoopyfrood”. This guild specializes in how to loosen up some tied ends.”
The Day 3494 g.e. (2nd of December 2019) edition of The Godville Times featured for the fourth time during Tesekles’term as leader:
“Guide to the Galaxy — a guild of 33 heroes, located at the 68th place in the pantheon of popularity. “hoopyfrood” — that’s how elites of this guild like to call themselves. Trespassing is not forbidden, but the guild will not be held responsible for the loss of any health points.”
The Day 3548 g.e. (25th of January 2020) edition of The Godville Times placed his guild in the Guild Spotlight for the fifth time during his time as guild leader:
“Guide to the Galaxy — guild of 33 heroes, located at the 59th place in the pantheon of adventure. Veterans in this guild call themselves “hoopyfrood”. Based on the Guild Council excerpts seen by the Godville Times Editor… nevermind.”
The Day 3580 g.e. (24th of February 2020) edition of The Godville Times placed his guild in the Guild Spotlight for the sixth time during his time as guild leader:
“Guide to the Galaxy is a bunch of heroes and heroines occupying 49th place in the pantheon of popularity. Rumor says there are about 32 of them. The people muttering about “the good old days” in this guild are known as “hoopyfrood”. This guild specializes in how to compost the spoils of war.”
Below you will find a list of the the various ideas brought forth by the sun god and accepted by his fellow gods and goddesses:
Quests:
Go on a mild goose chase
Blow everything into proportion
Survive a fate worse than a fate worse than death
Monsters:
Snobgoblin
Anthro-apologist
Bad-Eye Deer
Artifacts:
Despair Tire
Boar Ring
Limes of Communication
Moebius Donut
“all live” oil
Equipment:
Pneumatic Nail Gun
Invisible Hand of the Market
Sarcastic Personality
Diary:
It is said that history is written by the victors. Well, I defeated that %monster%, and now I am writing about it.
I forgot to tell the %monster% that my safe word is “OUCH!”
I started this fight with my battle cry, but now I’m ending it with regular crying. (running away from a fight)
This would probably be a good time to apologize, %rg%, for ignoring your commands or giving you sassy responses. And I would also like to say that your time-outs way more intense that I had thought. (awaiting resurrection)
Fishing — when sitting still and drinking beer is considered an activity.
Earthly News:
Press 1 to continue in English…
Dungeon:
Honestly, %rg%, this is just another dank, creepy, depressing underground room. I can’t be bothered prettying it up for you.
After no debate or discussion whatsoever, the heroes go %dir%.
In spite of what they just decided, the heroes go %dir%.
Caving in to public opinion, the heroes un-enthusiastically shuffle %dir%.
The heroes rearrange their busy schedules and manage to find a little time to go %dir%.
The heroes can’t decide whether to follow their head, heart, nose, or gut; they manage to get all body parts to compromise on going %dir%.
%hero_name% always follows {his|her} dreams. Apparently, {his|her} dreams are currently going %dir%.
Sail:
For my divine mission, I wanted a holy boat. I ended up with a holey one.