These chronicles are inspired by the Heroine Lisa Ladybird and her God Carmentis. Thanks for the inspiration and making me start this.
Chapter 1
Here I sit… Wondering what to do and where to go. Living my life hand to mouth. Every day the same grind, doing exactly the same thing day in day out.
Staying positive is hard. Being negative is too easy. Even though, the only time you should ever be negative in life, is on your HIV results.
I came home, after a hard day from work, and started my normal routine. Getting comfortable by putting the kettle on for a cup of tea, getting supper ready, before taking my shoes off and relaxing for a bit.
On the way to the shower, I notice a mysterious package on my bed. Picking it up, I give it a little shake.
“Hmmm…. Not glass. What could it be? More importantly, where did it come from?”
The package is about the size of a breadbin. I decide to open it, inside I find a backpack and a midnight black diary with a quill attached.
I pick up the backpack. It looks to be very lightweight and durable. With my other hand, I pick up the diary.
A burst of blinding white light, seeing stars flying past, another burst of absolute darkness. As I open my eyes, “Oh my God, I’m blind!”
A voice in the darkness replies “No my child, you were blind, but now you will see more clearly than ever” came a voice from the darkness.
“Who’s there? Show yourself!” I say nervously.
I start seeing a glimmer of something, then all of a sudden, a glowing shape appears in front of me.
“My name would be unpronounceable by your human standards, but you may call me Beast03.”
“What happened to the other two?”
“What?”
“You said you’re Beast03, which means, somewhere there is a Beast01 and a Beast02.”
“That is not important, it has no bearing on what’s happening here. Now, where was I? Oh, yes… Ahem… In this land of Godville, I am one of hundreds of Gods. You have been chosen by me, to be my disciple and my hero on this plane of existence.”
“WHAT!? Are you for real? No way, I’m dreaming, or in a coma. I must have hit my head or something. This ain’t real. No way, no how!” I shout unbelieving.
“Oh, but it is very real, my young companion. As you will see when you leave here, very real indeed.” He seems to be looking at me questioningly. Well, as much as a being of pure light can seem to be looking at me.
Already a bit high-strung, I ask him irritatingly “What you lookin at? See something interesting?”
He replies offhandedly “I was wondering if you would take up the challenge, or return to a meaningless existence?”
“You mean I have a choice?”
“Of course, life is nothing without choice. You can choose to become a hero. A life with adventure and excitement. Or you can choose to go home. Back to a life of boredom and drudgery. But choose you must.”
“What’s the catch?”
“Pardon?”
“What’s the catch? Can’t be that easy. What’s to happen to me? What’s in it for you?”
“If you choose to stay, your life will be in constant danger, you will start with nothing except the diary and backpack. But the rewards are plentiful. And I shall be your patron God, to watch over you, to help when I choose. If you choose to go home, you will awake in bed, thinking that all this was nothing more than a very vivid dream. And you may carry on with your mediocre life.”
“You will be my God? Helping how? Are you going with me?”
“By healing you, resurrecting you when you die…”
“Die? What? Like dead? You’re not serious?”
“Yes, you will die on occasion, but I shall resurrect you, to carry on. Now, may I go on?”
“What? Oh, yes, go on.”
“To answer your other question, no, I will not physically be with you. That is what the diary is for. When you touch the quill to the page, your thoughts are transferred to the book. I will be able to read them from my vantage point. To check on your progress from time to time.”
“You must go out, kill monsters that are terrorizing the villages, collect gold, gold bricks, go on quests and pray to me”
“Why gold bricks and praying?”
“The gold bricks are for a temple that you will build for me. And the more you pray, the more I am able to help you. The time for talk is over. CHOOSE!!”
Become a hero, or go back to nothing and the repetition of the same grind every day? Sounds like a no brainer.
Finally I say “I choose you, my Lord.”
And with those words barely out my mouth, I see in front of me a door, and outside, blue skies and a dirt road leading to a new life.
I put the diary in the backpack and prepare to leave, when I feel a breeze.
I look down at myself.
“Oh, for gods sake!”
I have no clothes on. I’m totally naked.
Damn!
He really did mean you start with nothing.
Chapter 2
I prepare to walk outside, wondering what I’m going to do for clothes, when I notice a table. On the table, a dark blue almost black cloth, with a rams head emblazoned on it in silver. In the exact centre of the table, a golden brick and a note.
“Go forth and make me proud. The brick is the first of many for you to collect in the pursuit of My temple. Be brave, be strong. And know I am always around.”
I look at the brick. Looks heavy. I try and pick it up. It IS heavy. Lugging this thing around is going to be a pain in the back. After eventually getting it picked up, I bomb it in the backpack.
I also decide that there is no way I’m walking around naked. And as the tablecloth is not only in my favorite colors, but also seems to have my star sign on it, I’ll wear it as a toga.
No objections did I hear, no shouts, so who says I can’t protect my modesty in this manner. Not naked anymore and ever so slightly stylin as well, I prepare to leave the building.
I heave the backpack up, expecting the weight of a heavy brick, only to land flat on my back, when it comes flying up and into my face.
Lightness of a feather, solid as a brick. Head ringing, I grab the backpack, gingerly this time, and stumble to the door holding my head.
Starting out my new career with a concussion does not bode well for the future. But, who cares? I’ve had worse.
It’s a new life, with new experiences. And, maybe, hopefully, more friends to share these experiences with.
Isn’t there an old saying “even the longest journey, starts with a first step”? I might have said it wrong, but you get the idea.
I take my first step from the door, trip over the hem of my toga, and promptly fell down the stairs, head over heels, all the way to the bottom. Apparently, that’s how I roll. Great first step.
Yep, I’m an accident waiting for a place to happen.
Chapter 3
New journeys start with the first step, as they say, but where to go on this, the first journey into the unknown that I’ve undertaken. Yes, I’m not a very adventurous person. A home body, who would rather stay at home with a good book or a movie.
But now, is it too late to change my mind?
I decide to test the diary, so I take it out of the backpack and sit down on the ground to start writing. And died, when I promptly got run over by a cart. Probably wasn’t a good idea to sit down in the middle of a busy road.
After much pain and twinkling lights, my broken bones and wounds are healed and up I get. Checking the diary, at a safer distance from the road, and checking my surroundings for any immediate dangers, I see a message from Beast03, “Do be more careful, idiot. And yes, it is too late to change your mind.”
And then some more writing appeared, in smaller font, as if god was talking to himself. “Did he really just sit down in the middle of the road? I should have chosen someone smarter. What a moron”
“yeah!? well, screw you too!”
And got struck by lightning.
After the pretty, pretty lights and twinkling stars faded away the diary popped up with “Don’t get cocky, there’s more of that, and worse.”
Feeling electrified, hehe, I carried on down the road. I walk up a slight rise and look down on a smallish town surrounded by massive temples of gold to the North, East and West. Looks like I’ll have to walk around to get to the entrance at the South end of town.
“Exploring the town seems like a good idea for now. Wonder how long it’ll take me to get there?”
With that, I set off.
Chapter 4
Four hours, two resurrections, one due to a coconut and the other by a rival god missing his target, and a concussion later, I finally stumble up to the gates of the town. Distances in this world are extremely deceptive.
On the left, attached to the wall above the guard post, which is surprisingly empty, is a sign stating:
Welcome to Godville, Capital City Of The World
pop: 1 000 000
Don’t forget your “customs tax”
As I pass through the gate the population counter goes up by one, cool. Looking around I see a few shops, a tavern or two and what looks like very “interesting” people going about their business.
Time to get to work.
With that, I turn towards the nearest tavern, and step straight into what seems to be a brick wall and fall flat on my back.
“God damn it, what the hell?!” I shout infuriated.