Augy 5

level 132
trader level 36

I will tar and 丯 you!

Age 10 years 3 months
Personality neutral
Guild Blue Feather
Monsters Killed about 749 thousand
Death Count 150
Wins / Losses 152 / 136
Temple Completed at 07/31/2013
Ark Completed at 06/24/2015 (562.2%)
Pairs Gathered at 01/15/2018
Words in Book 94.0%
Shop “Augyzon”
Pet Lightning colt Scratchy 20th level
Boss Bosstradamus with 222% of power


Weapon monster masher +146
Shield aegis of absolute protection +146
Head bionic eyebrows +147
Body diamond duster +146
Arms hyper cufflinks +146
Legs leap-of-faith boots +146
Talisman purse of squandering +146


  • radioportation level 142
  • full throttle level 141
  • swear-o-matic level 140
  • flying bird level 136
  • pseudopod attack level 135
  • fanned fingers level 134
  • electrostatic discharge level 127
  • brain dilution level 121
  • brownian motion level 114
  • mountain moving level 105




  • Honored Animalist
  • Honored Careerist
  • Honored Favorite
  • Honored Hunter
  • Honored Invincible
  • Honored Shipwright
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Martyr, 1st rank
  • Moneybag, 1st rank
  • Raider, 1st rank
  • Saint, 1st rank
  • Savior, 1st rank
  • Champion, 2nd rank
  • Coach, 2nd rank
  • Dueler, 2nd rank
  • Fiend, 2nd rank
  • Freelancer, 2nd rank
  • Scribbler, 2nd rank
  • Seadog, 2nd rank
  • Miner, 3rd rank
  • Scientist, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

Found a praystation? Go to Godville, ask for the “Augyzon” shop. Augy will buy it like a hot cake. Found today: 105 pcs.

Augy is conducting a quality survey on the monster magnet supply and offers excellent prices for any samples brought to “Augyzon”. Found today: 96 pcs.

Passed the 10 year milestone for being on Godville!

Augy is amassing Godville’s largest emergency exit collection, and willing to pay a premium for yours. Head down to “Augyzon” today. Found today: 80 pcs.

📰 another feature in the paper! 📰

Need money? We get it. Exclusively offered at Augy’s shop “Augyzon”, but first, come by and part with your divine spark.

“Our Augy puts the “awww” in pawn pawwwn shop! 🥳” @Wild Rosalinda

💰 🍩 💰 🍩 💰 🍩 💰 🍩 💰 🍩 💰 🍩 💰 🍩 💰


“Augyzon” and Augy are personally buying up a book of skill in unlimited quantities. Hurry up.


YAAAAY! I caught a mention in the Ideabox section of the paper today!

All responsibility for the originality of Ideabox submissions was put on @Augnoramous’s shoulders.


Augyzon in the paper!
Buying a background music generator at five times the normal cost! Godville’s one and only “Augyzon” shop. Just ask for Augy.
Found today: 58 pcs.

Freelancer Rank 2!
Completed 50 Side Jobs today. :)

1st time to have the Shoppe featured in the paper! “Augyzon” promises to buy a fifth element at several times the normal price. Augy is that rich. Found today: 83 pcs.

07/26/2021 🛒
Look what happened today! 03:17 PM A brief fanfare played as fireworks burst from my stall. Whoa, I’m trader level 10 now!

WELCOME TO “Augyzon”!!! With your Augyzon Prime Membership you’ll receive free shipping on all in-store pickup orders!

07/04/2021 🛒
Today, my place in the Savings Pantheon was cemented at #163 and my Shop was established! Working on a name for the future. 😁

Achievement: Honored Shipwright
Collected 5000 logs of gopher wood!

Featured in the paper today for my 2nd time! #3692 Day 3936 g.e.

Augy — 125th-level adventurer, member of the “Blue Feather” guild, with the motto “I will tar and 丯 you!”, stands at the 28th position in the pantheon of storytellers under the vigilant supervision of the god Augnoramous. He was known to distribute counterfeit invites to Godville during his youth.

At looooong last, after 8 years and 2 months of life and a very, very long time being eligible, TODAY is the 1st time we were featured in the Godville Times! 🎉🍻🎉. Coincidentally, this is one day after my birthday IRL.

Augy — 120th-level adventurer, member of the “Blue Feather” guild, with the motto “I will tar and 丯 you!”, stands at the 86th position in the pantheon of arkeology under the vigilant supervision of the god Augnoramous. We’ve had many reports that a Demoted Plutocrat has been afraid to make eye contact with him since their last encounter.

Permalink to my famous heroes mention: link
Thx @Djonni!

I have cracked the Top 100 in the Pantheon of Arkelogy for the first time!

99 The Almighty Frans 4 (04/15/2015 ) 418.7%

100 Augnoramous 4 (06/24/2015) 418.3%

Achieved Saint, 1st rank!
Encouraged the hero 10000 times.

A very momentous day in the Blue Feather guild as recognition and trophies were given out to our three Honorees:

🏆🥇 To our fearless Blue Feather Guild Leader Goddygoddy , we present the newly minted medal and trophy: The Grand Featherbrain Award ! Presented to you for your devoted service and guild spirit. Hip, hip, hooray!! Thunderous applause 👏👏👏👏👏 and a 21-donut salute 🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

🥈🏆 To our hardworking Web Mistress Alizii ,
We present the Golden Phoenix Dropping Prize for Winging It , and doing it so well! 👏👏👏. 🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩

🏆🥉 …and last but by no means least, Augnoramous , without whom Blue Feather just
would not be the same, we present The True Blue Achievements in Augnorance Award , because you’re awesome! 👏👏👏👏👏👏

“It’s a good thing people like Augnoramous write into the ideabox, or we’d be out of a job.”

After 7 years and 8 months, I have finally been at least mentioned in the paper!!! First time I’ve ever seen or been told about it. Not even for one of my two pantheon achievements but for the ideabox, where I’m still waiting on approvals from a year back so I can get into the ER. A day to celebrate, so… in a very rare occurrence, we’re opening up the Blue Feather guild hall to all of Godville…😁

🌴〰 ⛵〰🐟〰💃〰 🏃‍♂️🐞 🏄🐾〰🐟〰👫〰🐟〰🌴
Come on over to Augy’s Sea Side Village, you can enjoy food and ‘Righteous Royal Blu’ on tap at Augnoramous’, microbrewery and watch peeps ride the Double Genome Helix of the Trouthouse Tetratroutarium Megawonderworld and Gecko-Trout Garden Habitat all the way to the basement!🏄

It’s all on me as is the next round of drinks at Open Bar, hugs at Hug Central and howling at Howling Moon.

And with activating the artifact…. 12:31 AM Felt a burning desire to examine the continuum transfunctioner. Sadly, a notarized death certificate was inside. Strange, I don’t recall that particular death, but it’s simply impossible to appeal a notarized certificate.

Martyr 1st Rank! Died 150 times. :)

Wooo hooo! Just completed my 50th spar and achieved Coach 2nd Rank! My friend Vertibraker turned out to be #50, and guildee @Tuasaur was #49! :)

My second Ideabox approval came today, for lair spray, a new artifact!

Just entered the Blue Feather guild karaoke event…

Fat Bottomed Squirrels
Originally performed by Queen,
written by Brian May,
adapted by Augnoramous.

All proceeds go to Health Research Funding
for further research in the treatment of Sciurophobia and the treatment of Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia

Dedicated to Freya 12 (disclaimer – for her relationship to squirrels not her fat bottom, not that I’m saying her or anyone of the female persuation, human, dragon or otherwise, has a fat bottom)

Are you gonna take me home tonight?
Ah, down beside that red firelight
Are you gonna let it all hang out?
Fat bottomed squirrels
You make the rockin’ world go ’round

Hey I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew life before I left my nursery, huh
Left alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nutty
Heap big rodent, you made a bad boy out of me
Hey hey!

I’ve been singing with my band
Across the wire, across the land
I seen every blue eyed squirrely on the way, hey
But their beauty and their style
Went kind of smooth after a while
Take me to them dirty rodents every time

Oh, can I take you home tonight?
Oh, down beside the red firelight
Oh, and you give it all you got
Fat bottomed squirrels, you make the rockin’ world go ‘round
Fat bottomed squirrels, you make the rockin’ world go ’round

Hey, listen here!
Now I got mortgages on homes
I got stiffness in my bones
Ain’t no beauty queens in this locality, I tell you
Oh, but I still get my pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure
Heap big rodent, you done made a big man of me

Now, get this!
Oh, (I know) I’m gonna take you home tonight? (Please)
Oh, down beside that red firelight
Are you gonna let it all hang out?
Fat bottomed squirrels, you make the rockin’ world go ‘round, yeah
Fat bottomed squirrels, you make the rockin’ world go ’round

Get on your bikes and ride
Ooh yeah, oh yeah, them fat bottomed squirrels
Fat bottomed squirrels
Yeah yeah yeah
Alright, ride ‘em, c’mon
Fat bottomed squirrels, yes yes

A little thing happened today that was 800 days in the making…. I achieved the phoenix rank in Blue Feather! To celebrate my new status, I have changed my gravatar. I also achieved Raider 1st rank- 300 successful dungeons with a run of friends including Secretagent99, Mabinogion, and Queenclaire. HUGE DAY! 🥳🥳🥳

Pantheon of Storytelling: 1. Today was a momentous day. Not only did I have a massive 5 figure day for Savings, but I hit #1 on the Pantheon of Storytelling! Woot woot! @Secretagentmax, said it was because of all the talking I do in the guild chat and forums, but if it were just for yappin’ I’d be way out in front! BTW, 3 DAYS TO PHOENIX!

BOSS COMPLETED!!! He actually fished the final boss part out last night, a level 3 paw. I happened to look this AM and I have a Bosstradamous 222%!

I finally had my 1st ideabox submission APPROVED! Eskimosquito is officially a monster! Off to Open Bar to celebrate!!! I still have 5 in review, dating back many many months… Hoping for more.

Twifight Sparkill continues to be a riot… we just finished a dungeon and then she sent this…

“If you see us through this death sentence,” the rabbit cried, “I’ll buy you all the drinks and stuff you want!” Augy did as much. For such, Navieka took Augy for drinks and dancing at her favourite ale house, showing him a right debaucherous fun time – being a spirited bunny girl, knowing expertly how to cut loose after a terrible day of murdering anything within swinging distance, she was definitely a knowledgeable guide into the very worst ways to make merry, that was for certain. Poor Augy.

Hours later, waking up in a filthy alleyway behind a toy shoppe, the pair were left holding empty bottles of nondescript booze, covered in tarps used by the local law to indicate the bodies at a murder scene, and too many questions. They quietly slipped away whilst the guards were otherwise occupied, soon snickering whilst traversing through the darker pathways towards freedom and eventually making it to a main city road.

“You’re fun, Augy,” Navieka grinned, kissing him farewell – she tasted like a plush doll dipped in tequila and barbecue sauce. “Let’s never do this again! I mean, except the dungeoning… ooh, or the celebrating! I can’t believe you wrestled a walrus naked! HAW! Hm! I guess… I guess I mean let’s do it all again soon! Night!” The acolyte then curled up on the sidewalk and immediately fell asleep, snoring loudly within a few moments. Augy left before things got any more awkward, if that was possible, wondering whose clothes he was wearing. 🐰🤗"

I did save her in the dungeon after all. 😘

Today, I had the pleasure of naming the newly built home for our Blue Feather guild trout: the Trouthouse Tetratroutarium Megawonderworld! @Elaphrus was the chief architect, and I with help from @Queenclaire and other guild members helped her build it in the guild attic. I was also the paint master and chose an opaque see – through rainbow and glitter paint. I think our trout will love the slide!

I just got Hunter 1st Rank! That was my 500th boss killed while on a dungeon run with friend @Portico.

The momentous awesomesauce day when I was first to reach the #donutKart in the Blue Feather guild hall! I was first to WOOT basically, and the wonderfully lovely @Cassia Rainsonne uttered the following phrase which was music to my ears…

🐾 @Augnoramous, “>.> do I have to use… the… K?

….and so the 24 hr period of #noC began! insert that deep, victorious muhahaha laughing track here. 😁😁😁

03/2018 Won 3rd place in Open Bar’s St. Patrick’s Day Karaoke for my rendition of Danny Boy. :)

01/14/2018 10:45 PM My Lord, I just re-counted the pairs and I think the ark now has a thousand of them. We’re not going to cram another thousand in there, are we?

12/19/2017. 02:46 PM By the power of Godville, I have the power! Level 100 is mine, Omnipotent One.

10/05/17. A milestone was achieved today in defeating HairPlug4Men, the top active dueler in Godville. It was a 2 action duel. I WON! … and rose 93 spots in the Duelery pantheon. It could have gone either way. It’s all because of the duel yesterday with guildmate Ursi-gozi (@Ursina’s alt @Agozi.) We matched accidentally, and I lost. She used the same strategy on me that I used today on him where this duel was limited to two actions. A solid strategy and a little luck, as it should be. HP4M friended me after and was very gracious. We had a good chat and he said “well played”. I was so happy with the win that I didn’t realize he’d come in with about 50K in gold until he mentioned it. I was able to put about 38K of that into Savings. ;)
Duel Log