Heroine

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RachaelZ

level 48

 Da Mooooon ☾

Age 12 years 4 months
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 56 thousand
Death Count 54
Wins / Losses 23 / 29
Bricks for Temple 72.9%
Pet Solar bear Woody

Equipment

Weapon sword of overcompensation +58
Shield shield of offense +55
Head contra band +54
Body lawsuit +53
Arms Icarus rockets +53
Legs clever clogs +59
Talisman cheat sheet +57

Skills

  • smack of the bribe level 23
  • quantum fireball level 21
  • mosquito roar level 20
  • drunken rampage level 19
  • tin throat level 17
  • shiny heels level 17
  • spoon-bending level 14
  • sober view level 12
  • electrostatic discharge level 11
  • brownian motion level 11

Pantheons

Gratitude1017

Achievements

  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Renegade, 1st rank
  • Builder, 2nd rank
  • Fiend, 2nd rank
  • Martyr, 2nd rank
  • Animalist, 3rd rank
  • Careerist, 3rd rank
  • Champion, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

Birth

Though RachaelZ has been asked many times by both her adoring fans and her hateful enemies, “Where did you come from?” she has never been able to answer. It is widely believed that immediately after she was born (or created… or whatever) she immediately dashed for the pub and got drunk. RachaelZ has admitted that the first thing she remembers in her life is complaining of a severe hangover.

A Hero is Claimed

The mighty and powerful god, ArtemisRZ, has watched RachaelZ in the bars and pubs, and is very much impressed by her will to fight, and her strength. ArtemisRZ goes down to Godville in the form of a burning bush and tries to get RachaelZ to the top of a mountain, but RachaelZ would not go, complaining that ArtemisRZ was being unoriginal. Sighing in annoyance, ArtemisRZ reappeared in one of RachaelZ’s favorite bars, killed each of the drunk customers there, and demanded in a very powerful and godly voice for RachaelZ to follow her. RachaelZ agreed readily, but it may have just been because she was half-drunk at the time.

The First Quest

ArtemisRZ’s first godly command was that RachaelZ must build her a temple out of brilliantly shining golden bricks. RachaelZ had absolutely no idea where to find golden bricks. So she ran into town, screaming, “Any quests that need to be done! Free questing here!” until someone, tired of her insufferable wailing, finally gave her a quest to go on. Full of enthusiasm, RachaelZ immediately ran out of the town and into a monster. Terrified, she ran and hid. So much for a will to fight.

Death

As RachaelZ would later report, her first death was a distinctly unpleasant experience. She reports being roughly thrown to the ground, then being stomped on many times by a fearsome monster (whom she was not afraid of, of course). She remembers dying in excruciating pain, but she did not cry out because she wanted to die with dignity. Her goddess, watching from above, recalls watching her heroine writhe in pain and beg for mercy. Hm. I guess we’ll just never know who is right. I suppose that when in doubt, look in favor of the goddess, but that’s just an opinion.

Homeward

After returning home, triumphant, after her first quest, RachaelZ expected a crowd of people waiting excitedly at the gates, cheering and screaming her name. She was extremely surprised that nobody particularly cared that she had completed a quest, and was so disappointed that she got extremely drunk trying to forget about it. ArtemisRZ smited her with lightning bolts for expecting such a welcome, and also for wasting her money on beer instead of equipment and donations to her goddess. In return, RachaelZ became a hardened warrior, and resolved never to smile again because it showed weakness. RachaelZ is now a vicious, stone-cold fighter, showing no mercy to any man or monster.

Arena

RachaelZ was having a drink in the bar, trying to see how many beers she could consume in a minute, when she overheard two other heroes bragging very loudly to each other about their many, many victories in a place called the “Arena.” Interested, RachaelZ scooted her barstool over to the two heroes so that she could hear them better. After she had broken her record of 26 beers a minute, she immediately dashed out of the tavern and into the nearest temple she could find. She knelt on her knees and asked ArtemisRZ to summon up all her power (or at least, 75% of it) and send her to the Arena so that she could kill other heroes and pose heroically over their dead bodies. ArtemisRZ didn’t answer, so RachaelZ went to the Arena on her own to bang on the doors and demand entry. After killing a few of the guards, she was thrown out. This drew ArtemisRZ’s attention, and she graciously teleported RachaelZ into the Arena to the annoyance of the guards who had survived her vicious attack. Unfortunately, RachaelZ was defeated in her first fight and didn’t get the chance to pose heroically like she wanted to.

The First Pet

RachaelZ had been walking a lonely road, the only one she’d ever known. She didn’t know where it goes, but it was home to her, and she walks alone. Eventually, she got tired of walking that lonely road, and decided that she would find someone to keep her company. Just as she was thinking this, a deadly Sun Dog leapt out of the bushes on the side of the road. It growled menacingly, then leapt on top of her and bit her in the face. She died. When she was resurrected, she noticed a firefox in the hospital bed next to her. She tore it away from the life support machine, named it Stitch, and claimed it as her companion, all while it was trying desperately to get away from her.

The First Death of a Pet

RachaelZ, even as stupid as she is, managed to keep her enslaved Stitch alive for a little while. But then he died. So she resurrected him. I can’t say he was very enthusiastic about this, because he died again. It was a bit more costly to resurrect him this time, but it was done. Then, Stitch finally completely caught RachaelZ off guard and died at a very unfortunate time. She lost hope of resurrecting him and left his rotting corpse on the ground. Oh well.

Please PM me if you have any suggestions for improving my chronicles. Thank you for reading and rating!