In the capital city of Godville, where heroes were forged in fire and battle, there lived a man named Akira. He preferred napping in the shade to basking in glory. He had the strength of a thousand men, the wisdom of a sage, and the willpower of a well-fed housecat.
One fateful day, Quirkytown sent an urgent message: an ancient dragon had awoken and was demanding a tribute from all the towns in the land. Godville needed a champion, and Akira, lounging on his hammock, was their last hope.
With great reluctance, Akira agreed, but only after negotiating an upfront payment for an infinite lifetime supply of beer and a promise that he wouldn’t have to walk too much. He slowly rode his pet piggy banker towards the dragon’s lair, devising a plan that required minimal effort.
Upon arrival, Akira found the dragon half-asleep on a mountain of gold. Instead of drawing his weapon, Akira yawned, sat down, and began snoring. The dragon, confused and somewhat impressed, assumed this was some form of ancient warrior magic and agreed to leave Godville alone for now.
Akira eventually returned to the capital as a hero, though he mostly slept through the celebrations. And thus, the legend of Akira the Idle was born, not for his battles, but for proving that sometimes, the best way to win is to do absolutely nothing at all.