Godville

5/17/12

• 01:09: Felt a burning desire to disassemble the mystery box. Found a notarized document inside stating that I’ve died fewer times than I had thought. .Splendid.
  actually gained back a life, sweet!
• 03:29: I was preaching about my guild in the main square, when there was a sudden flash in the sky and gold coins started raining down.
  People will remember it for a long time here!
• 03:48: The gold coins in my sack suddenly melted into a golden brick! Great for your temple, Great One, but bad for my drinking fund..
• 08:34: Somehow I’ve managed to build an igloo in the desert. Found a chest full of money. Gonna drink heavily.****
• 08:35: Omnipotent One, I was thinking… Well, maybe I wasn’t. Forget it.
  (hence my heroine name.)
• 09:54: Sold everything in my inventory. It’s good to be rich!
• 09:54: Mysterious forces created a golden brick in my purse. My Lady, was that your doing? (Yes! Another gold brick!)

• 16:02: Saw a cat run by me with someone’s tongue in its mouth. I wonder what that means…
• 20:28: Thought about helping the poor, but instead gave 817 coins to the rich so they’d have more to donate.

• Bragging about her kill/death ratio…(3262 kills/ 4 deaths)…that’s 815.5 kills per death!*=

• 03:02: The Attention Seeker was gloriously torn to pieces! While rifling through its remains, I found an electric compass. It will need a good wash before I can sell it.

• 04:24: Tattooed ‘*mo’ money. mo’ gold!’ on my butt cheek. Nice. **

• 15:43: My quest to determine the terminal airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow was a triumph! I’m making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. Got a golden brick too.

5/19/12

• 16:55: Saw Furryback running from a Moby Duck while I was fleeing from the Poltergoose. We joined forces and bravely fled together.

• 18:19: A wise man told me that I’m proof that gods like a good joke. I laughed politely, but didn’t get it.
  ****BA.(examples of why my heroine is named Blonde Air Head)

5/20/12

• 17:47: A wandering monk said that the gods like to see an atheist around, it gives them something to aim at.
• 17:48: Tried to imagine the Giant Enemy Crab naked to alleviate my fear, but the image I envisioned scared me even more.
• 17:48: Successfully escaped from the Giant Enemy Crab by cliff jumping. But now I think I have a different problem…
• 18:03: My brains fell out again. Gosh, it’s hard to keep an open mind.
• 18:38: Man, I really need to get a life.
• 19:17: These constant resurrections are wreaking havoc on my social life.
• 22:09: The mayor of Bumchester suddenly started choking during a public ceremony. I leapt from the crowd, yelled out ‘Not on ’Blue Feather’s watch!’ and performed the Heimlich maneuver until the mayor coughed up a leprechaun and started to breathe again. They’ll remember our guild around here, that’s for sure.

5/21/12

• The heroine is playing Twister with herself…

5/22/12

• 00:14: Entered a bamboo grove to get some rest, but met Furryback there. We built a little field altar and prayed to our gods. Maybe we should build a pantheon next time.
• 14:45: Had a hot date last night, or at least I think I did. I can’t remember a thing, but 373 gold coins are missing from my wallet, so it must have been pretty awesome!

• Entered a bamboo grove to get some rest, but met Furryback there. We built a little field altar and prayed to our gods.

• A priestess told me that my goddess wants me to ‘go forth and multiply’. Too bad I only know how to divide monsters.

• 22:43: Found an old, faintly humming monument covered with shoots and leaves. While I was clearing the growth, I laid my hands on the monument… When the SFX were over, I found myself surrounded by an aura of abstinence.

5/23/12

• 01:10: Quest to tell the plumber that his princess is in another castle has been completed! Got iron crown as a reward. It’s time to go to celebrate!

• 01:10: Wow, I am level 17 now! Caught a glimpse of my reflection while drinking from a stream. Oh yeah, looking good…

• 01:25: Dear Lady, nothing to report today. I’ve been bitten, scratched, punched, kicked, and severely wounded. In short, business as usual.*

• Quest #40 Find out who, what, when, why, and how (mini) (36%)*

5/25/12

• 01:19: Though I was hoping that succeeding in my quest to grant political asylum to the dethroned king of a neighboring country would win the respect and admiration of my peers, this gold brick will have to sufice.*

• 03:05: Almighty, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the gold to buy shiny new things. Meanwhile, please accept my humble donation of 41 gold coins.*

5/26/12

• 16:12: Quest to convince the suicidal lemming not to jump has been completed! Got dragon’s molar as a reward. It’s time to go and celebrate!

• 16:53: A group of crazy scientists have given me yet another quest to undertake: separate the red beans from the green beans.

5/30/12

• 09:28: Grant me the power of immortality, Omnipotent One, so that I may do stupid things and not have to consider death as a consequence.*
• The heroine is taking banned substances prior to the fight with the Vegetarian Cannibal…*

3:32: Dear Lady, most omniscient, beneficent, and unpredictable, whose existence was, is, and forever shall be eternal and interminable; the delight of my eyes and the song of my heart, whose wisdom flows like a waterfall unto… I forgot what I was going to say.

1:03: Fell down a hill. Hit the ground repeatedly as I flipped over and over again, all the way to the bottom. That’s how I roll.

April 2013

*Was resurrected and immediately had to burrow myself out from underground. Turned out someone had buried me in Beerburgh. Thank goodness, I thought I’d been reincarnated as a mole!

• Consulted a psychologist, and he told me I was insane. But my backpack assured me that it was more qualified than the doctor, and that I shouldn’t listen to his asinine remarks

accomplishment(s) of the month

• The mayor of San Satanos suddenly started choking during a public ceremony. I leapt from the crowd, yelled out ‘Not on ’Blue Feather’s watch!’ and performed the Heimlich maneuver until the mayor coughed up a leprechaun and started to breathe again. They’ll remember our guild around here, that’s for sure. :-)

• The mayor of Los Demonos suddenly started choking during a public ceremony. I leapt from the crowd, yelled out ‘Not on ’Blue Feather’s watch!’ and performed the Heimlich maneuver until the mayor coughed up a leprechaun and started to breathe again. They’ll remember our guild around here, that’s for sure.
  gee this sounds familiar… hmmm

May 2013

*The gladiators’ yearbook just came out. The editorial staff captioned my picture, “Voted least likely to successfully paint the town red.” Time to prove them wrong!

*My quest to paint the town red was completed with excellence! Got a shiny golden brick and felt great about it. (Hooray for me)!

May 2013

• Took Buck to a local orphanage to try to cheer up the children. It worked so well that the kids begged him to stay. He gave me a wistful glance and a sad smile before going inside. Farewell, Buck, I hope you give those kids as many fond memories as you have given me.

• I was trying to spread the word at Last Resort’s main square, informing the people about my guild, when suddenly thunder boomed and amplified my voice a hundredfold. People here are going to remember the “Blue Feather” guild for a long time.

may 2013

• I’m cold, tired, and wounded! Unless you want me to organize a union, I suggest you grant me better working conditions, Exalted One!

*The flagpole on the “Blue Feather” guild hall grew dramatically in height and acted as a lightning rod, channeling a storm of thunderbolts destined for the townsfolk safely into the ground.

*I just heard someone in the tavern shout, ‘You should search after a hobbit an punish him! Make him to your slave.’. Pretty funny – someone’s more drunk than I am!

*03:36 AM Notes from the battlefield: While digging, Karal and Blonde Air Head disturbed someone’s lair. A giant Faithless Deafening Heromnivore shows up in front of them…

*03:54 AM Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by their common destiny have defeated the Faithless Deafening Heromnivore! Blonde Air Head got 7490 coins, ear of the Heromnivore, a golden brick, a miniature siege tower and a portable quest generator.

*03:54 AM The Heromnivore was triumphantly defeated! I’ve gained more experience and looted some gold, but it’s time to return to my heroic deeds.

• 05:56 PM A freak gust of wind blew my guild promotion flyers out of my hands. Amazingly, a sudden vortex then dispersed the flyers, sending one into the letterbox of every household in Tradeburg!

somewhere in far future

03:08 Almighty, why do I seem to be your only follower? Don’t you have other people to yell “Wonder Brain(s) Activate!” or do stupid, almost heroic things in your name?

*09:42 There was a mix up at the store and I was accidentally given healing items instead of booze for my journey. Darn that trader!

july 2015 – A death by any other name is still a death.

**03:56 Was just about to finish off the Game Overlord when I spotted Death lurking in the shadows, waiting to claim the beast. Looking back, it was probably a mistake to high-five him.

**03:56 Was just about to finish off the Game Overlord when I spotted Death lurking in the shadows, waiting to claim the beast. Looking back, it was probably a mistake to high-five him.

**08:56 Woke up during my own funeral. Received 242 gold coins from the funeral director for increasing his business as some attendants were shocked to death.

105 deaths and counting

10:57 I now know I’m getting old. The doctor told me that they’ve discontinued my blood type.~
*yep now I am officially older than dirt!

sunday
*03:24 Saw a homeless beaver begging by the side of the road. Didn’t give a dam.

*04:58 I was trying to spread the word at Los Demonos’s main square, informing the people about my guild, when suddenly thunder boomed and amplified my voice a hundredfold. People here are going to remember the “Blue Feather” guild for a long time. ;-)

Monday
*I’ve grown slightly bigger as I hit level 80. More of me to love, Great One!

• 11:09 AM I’M BEING HELD CAPTIVE IN A DIARY FACTORY! IF ANYONE’S READING THIS, PLEASE SEND HELP! — I don’t remember writing this. Weird…

• 04:02 PM Heroes and heroines, sitting under trees, R-E-S-T-I-N-G. No time for love, just devotion, receiving wounds not healable by potions.

09:10 PM I’m like level 105 now! I’m like way more mature now! You can’t tell me what to do anymore, Soul Supreme.

April 2nd 2020
Hero:. ATHENA- Wise 1
Heroine: Blonde Air Head.
Motto: Wonder Brain(s) Activate!
Age: 7 years 10 months (2869 days)
Deaths: 229

• ATHENA – Wise 1. Hmmm… Perhaps I should change my God Name to ATHENA- Unwise 1. Seriously I’ve died over 200 times, not very wise is it?!*

Wow, I’m SO OLD!! I’m probably getting senile. I found my Journal, but forgot why I had one, & what it was for.

Payed a witch doctor to resurrect my Journal memories.
Thank you Goddess for tutoring me in Reading & Writing Again!

• The Day is getting a bit better for me! 😀 *

• There. A beautiful map of Godville. I have no idea if it’s accurate, but it looks good.*

*After managing to completely map out Godville so quickly, I got a pile of wooden ark planks and 7701 coins as a bonus.

• Woot,Woot, I’m rich again!😎. O Yeah!*