12:29 AM Suddenly realized that my dirty money could one day become sentient and lead all the artifacts in a war against humanity. Smashed it to smithereens, and saved the world. That was a close one!
07:29 PM Odd. I found sections of a map of Godville printed in the Cyrillic alphabet. It gave me an eerie feeling, as if there was a parallel universe…
07:36 PM Now that I think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever met an old hero. My Lord, should that worry me?
12:54 AM My body is beaten, bloody and torn, but besides that I’m fine. How was your day, Mighty One?
06:34 AM Wow, déjà vu! Must be a glitch in the system.
12:08 AM I looked into the kind eyes of the vanquished monster and suddenly decided — Significant Otter, you’ll be my pet! And I’ll call you Koda. Bandaged his wounds, gave him a treat and fastened the leash.
09:13 AM Fought the urge to steal a donut. Lost.
01:05 PM A glowing fairy came along shouting, ‘HEY, LISTEN!’ I swatted it out of the air.
01:37 PM I was stopped by a dirty-looking beggar. He claimed to be my brother and shared an epic tale with me. I told him it was a cool story and sent him on his way.
12:57 AM Strange thoughts filled my head, and I suddenly felt compelled to spend a night in a haunted house. My God, was that your doing?
06:32 AM I’m a hero and I’m OK; I sleep all night and I quest all day. I kill monsters, I stop and rest, I go to town when near! And when I’ve got lots of money, I waste it all on beer!
06:49 AM Dear Diary, today I decided to write a special entry to you. Hello!
12:22 PM It’s good to be bad, isn’t it, my Lord?
04:37 PM If my brain were so simple that I understood it, I’d be so simple that I couldn’t.
07:52 PM Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
02:10 PM Stepped through a portal to a parallel universe. Everything was identical, but just a little to the left.
02:35 PM Hmm, starting to regret that last diary entry. Maybe if I run really fast counterclockwise I can turn back time and erase it?
02:39 PM Out of my mind, back in 5 minutes.
03:05 PM You think this diary entry is a waste of time, Great One? Just wait until you see the next one.
06:41 AM I remember the day I left home to become an adventurer… Wait, did I turn the stove off?
06:51 AM Ran with scissors. Nearly died.
02:58 PM Was eating an apple while waiting to see the doctor, when I was presented with a temporary restraining order and told to stay away. Odd.
03:14 PM Passed by a smouldering town. I swear Great One, I had nothing to do with that, not this time at least…