Hero

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Paul The Impotent

level 57

Six seasons and a movie!

Age 12 years 5 months
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 87 thousand
Death Count 53
Wins / Losses 173 / 119
Temple Completed at 12/08/2012
Savings 1M, 62k (3.5%)
Pet Solar bear Tige 28th level

Equipment

Weapon sword of irony +66
Shield massive ego +65
Head polar ice cap +62
Body beach towel of doom +64
Arms unrequited gloves +61
Legs sandals of time +63
Talisman passion flute +66

Skills

  • eye scream level 39
  • strike of the rabbit level 30
  • iron vortex level 29
  • inept singing level 27
  • dragon pout level 27
  • electro-broom level 26
  • peace enforcement level 25
  • menacing glance level 24
  • glance of Kaa level 20
  • selfish interest level 20

Pantheons

Templehood4134
Gladiatorship2006

Achievements

  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Animalist, 2nd rank
  • Champion, 2nd rank
  • Martyr, 2nd rank
  • Renegade, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Careerist, 3rd rank
  • Invincible, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

  • I am the very model of a Godville-born adventurer,
  • As can be verified by anyone who’s smelt my stench afore.
  • I finish quests to pile up my golden bricks so lustrous,
  • And oft ignore my god whose droning voice is loud and blusterous.
  • I strike down all my enemies with blows of such ferocity
  • It isn’t any wonder why I’m met with animosity.
  • Indeed, I tackle battles with such frightening temerity
  • That leaving one alive would be a great peculiarity.
  • To buy some new equipment ought to strengthen my morale again,
  • Because I love to level up my weapon, shield, and talisman.
  • As can be verified by anyone who’s smelt my stench afore,
  • I am the very model of a Godville-born adventurer.
  • I’ve found a bolded item and a stone of a philosopher,
  • So, as should be apparent to most any interlocutor,
  • I’ll haul them in a manner so inept and so precarious
  • That one is sure to break; my god must find this so hilarious.
  • I shout my motto at a volume verging on the thundering;
  • I spend my every waking hour pillaging and plundering.
  • And if my god should take the time to lovingly encourage me,
  • I’ll write a smarmy diary entry, simply as a courtesy.
  • Then off to the arena where I battle for aggrandizement,
  • And watch as my opponents get laid low by my god’s punishments.
  • As can be verified by anyone who’s smelt my stench afore,
  • I am the very model of a Godville-born adventurer.
  • If only any of the talents that I have would correspond
  • To something that’s acknowledged by a title or some pantheon;
  • And if at all my combat skills I wasn’t quite so maladroit,
  • And if I found a smidgen of intelligence I could exploit;
  • If I could keep my pet alive for more than just a day or two,
  • And take back every stupid thing that I have spouted hitherto;
  • In short, if I had more than just a smattering of competence,
  • I’d say that I’m a perfect hero with some greater confidence.
  • And yet I’m well-intentioned, full of vim and spontaneity;
  • I’m always willing to debase myself to serve my deity.
  • And so, as verified by anyone who’s smelt my stench afore,
  • I am the very model of a Godville-born adventurer.