I have finally done it. I have contacted a god! Um well,… I mean I have totally contacted many more gods before this one, so it’s not too big of a deal, heh. Anyways, It happened when I was going through my normal day of business of scami- enlightening townsfolk when suddenly, my toaster just popped. Slightly annoyed, I pulled the bread out of the toaster and ate it. Somebody must have snuck into my tent when i wasn’t looking or something, because I didn’t even buy any bread that week.
Evidently, this did not please the sender, because the next thing I knew, a lightning bolt burnt a hole through my tent and hit my toaster. When the smoke faded, the side had been branded with an emblem of a wyrm going in an infinity symbol with a piece of bread behind it.
Apparently, this god Toastwyrm, is the sole reason for all the messages burnt into toast. Other gods queue up the messages, but he is the one who burns and delivers the toast to heroes. The fact that I managed to contact this god means that there are so many more gods than I thought. I thought these “heros” were pretending to have a god for the Hero Discount at the taverns. I mean, thats my whole lifestyle! You wouldn’t believe the amount of gold people will give for you to preten-Uh… contact the gods!
Well apparently, Toastwyrm did not appreciate my ABSOLUTELY LEGITIMATE BUSINESS, as he decided to burn it down instead of just asking for me to change directions. I mean I guess he did a couple times on toast, but you can never know for sure what’s a god and what’s a coincidence you know?. So for now, I have decided to take up adventuring. Given my credentials, it’s the only other job I can get, so i guess my only choice is becoming a hero in the name of Toastwyrm!
I just finished laying the 250th brick on Halloween 2020. I feel like my third eye’s vision has been increased. Spooky!
Proof that Lightsaber-toothed tigers help fight
Cuddles spun around under the monster’s feet and chewed on its heels.
08:19 AM Notes from the arena: Sleighbaybay is on her knees. Tarot salutes to the heavens! The winner got richer by 2400 gold coins and a golden brick.
08:51 AM Notes from the arena: Sleighbaybay begs for mercy. Tarot definitely fulfilled his god’s expectations today! The winner receives a gold brick and 9762 coins.
The trader recognized the Godville Times (anniversary edition) 🎉 as a long lost piece of his soul, and offered me 4000 gold coins for it, which I recognized as a long lost part of my beer budget.