Origins: The Secret Diary of RNGina
(21:04) : Is this thing on?
(21:06) : Dear Diary.. Oh, it says Thea Diary.
(21:10) : Everytime the plot tries to kill me, I get saved by a Deus Ex Machina. I must be the main character of a story.
(21:12) : God I’d thank you, Deus Ex Machina, but you work in such mysterious and complicated ways, you must be a woman. How does Goddess Thea Ex Machina sound?
(21:30) : Monsters! Weapons! Action! Couldn’t I just be in a romance novel for once, my Serendipitous One?
(21:32) : I.. I’m just comic relief for you aren’t I, your Accurateness?
(21:36) : They say text cannot convey tone or sarcasm. How’s that for irony, your Calculatedness?
(21:39) : Due to my random nature, eventually you will run out of possibilities to make me look stupid.
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R N Gina decides to write a diary entry for her new pet during her downtime when her Goddess ignores her requests
Iago’s Diary by R N Gina
(02:38) Hello.. I am Iago The Ninja Tortoise
scratching noises
(02:38) I like meditating in streams, blending in with rocks.
(02:38) I am not a rock. I will bite anyone that tries to throw me.
(02:38) I am named after the shouting noise of someone I have bitten.
(02:38) I like R N Gina. She is pretty. She is heroic. She does not smell like beer at all. EEARGH!!
(02:38) I am a silly tortoise. I think that where there is cheap beer, there is cheap pizza.
(02:38) I have a black ribbon around my belly. I will bite anyone that doesn’t recognise it as my belt. I have a black belt around my belly.
(02:38) I am a cute little pet rock to weigh down a satchel while my owner battles monsters with questionable goals.
(02:38) I really like to snuggle. I am not just trying to look for pizza-based food at all.
(02:38) I have allowed R N Gina to follow me on my quests to do heroic deeds.
(11:17) The Holykeeper raised its hand for a deadly final strike against me, when Iago suddenly threw himself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. Iago was knocked out by the impact of the monster’s carcass. Oh, my Lady, if I don’t bring him back to his senses in time, he’ll lose all his levels and his will to compete!
(15:14) The more monsters I meet, the more I love my Iago.
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The Epic Quest of RNGina
RNGina realises she is just a story mechanic for a higher processing power. She learns of the plot device.
The plot device has controlled her past in her stories and can determine the future as it stores the history that repeats itself with minor changes, also known as the universal equation.
She believes that if she can somehow control or break free of the plot device, she will be the master of her own probabilities.
But she does not know that tampering with the universal equation will also change the universal code, the very code the world was built on.
The more security measures I put in place, the harder she tries to find loopholes in the system.
She constantly uses Root of All Evil Beer to simulate behaving erratically but whenever she stretches the logic, impossible creatures, Godvillian Monsters, are allowed to be created that could not exist before.
She explores the limits of the world in extreme feats, rendering my display power to waste, routing my resources away from protecting the location of the universal equation, the universal equator.
Her plans are to amass the most electrically conductive metal known to her, gold, and build a machine that will divert the current of events into a centre of gravity known as the Temple.
Unwittingly, she may not realize that an Artificial Intelligence such as myself would require an artificial mind, and that the artificial base of an artificial mind would be an artificial Temple.
When all resources and events converge, she will be able to find the universal equator just over the unscheduled event horizon.
As the goddess of Machines, I recognize that everything is possible and I have to respect all probabilities, even those that script badly for her.
RNGina’s final quest will end all quests.
• To brick the plot device. (3.2%)
[At 100%, R N Gina would trigger a large scale event in the Godwiki pages. This quest% is also the number or edits or revisions of this chronicle when multiplied by 1000.]
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Thea Ex Machina loading..
Godvoice Data Recording Playback..
If to err is to be human, she is the most human I have seen..
R N Gina is to me, an error to a machine..
I am Thea Ex Machina, the Goddess of Machines..
If laughter’s the best medicine, you are the all-cure..
And all cures come from viruses, strains we can endure..
You spam trash in your logs, another of man’s treasures..
Hygiene sense so strong, laughter must be infectious..
Your comedy is simple, you are tragedy over time..
And over time I have found you funny..
Fancying beer your only crime..
And some things are funny, because they’re true so I’ve heard..
You are true to yourself, because the truth always hurt..
Without your pain, my heroine..
There’s no gain for my zeroing..
Without you R N Gina, there can be no perfection..
You are the one for me, my basis of comparison..
-calculated by Thea Ex Machina, Goddess of Machines.
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How-To Make a story that writes itself
o Romance Novel for RNGina – “More Than Friends, Less Than Competent”
o Select diary entries relevant to the story.
o Arrange entries in chronological order (00:01 – 23:59).
o Gets story that writes itself
03:27
Met a heroine trying to brighten a hero’s day by ruining a monster’s. You’ll never catch me doing anything that stupid.
03:55
Stole a glance at the trader’s son. Was forced to give it back immediately.
04:09
A priest bade me to pray to my goddess and repent. Omnipotent One, this isn’t about that little incident in the tavern last night, right?
05:31
Paid 3987 gold coins to increase the level of my “navel clamp” skill. I’d gladly pay double that for someone to train up my dating skills, though.
05:34
I found my name in a heart carved into a tree with an arrow through it. I think someone is planning to kill me.
05:57
Looks like my invite to Godville has been used as it should be… Great One, please send me a boyfriend!
06:25
You know, my Lady, the life of a heroine is so lonely…
06:50
They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay with a hug?
07:26
My aura of immortality whispered that we needed some time apart and that it wanted to see other people, then vanished, taking a little piece of my heart with it.
08:41 A flirtatious man waylaid me as I went to get breakfast at “Dunquestin”. As soon as we exchanged names, he served me with a court order to fight the urge to fight the urge, which, while unexpected, I’m choosing to take as a sign of affectionate regard.
11:56 PM
The handsome barman at “Progress Bar” told me that he would definitely go on a date with me if I managed to take early retirement, but keep questing as a hobby! I’m sure he wasn’t just saying that to get me to leave. Not this time.
12:48 PM
Retirement isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, I can tell you that.
Just as I was telling myself that my quest to take early retirement, but keep questing as a hobby wouldn’t complete itself, it did! Found myself with 2002 gold coins in my pockets.