Too much happening, will chronicle later…
Nope not today…
Tomorrow doesn’t look good either…
Sorry i broke my hand, so I can’t do it today…
Still broken…
Stiiiiiiill broken…
OK, I think I’ll start…ooooh a butterfly!
A couple of months and a few days ago (give or take) I was born. Which is weird because I’m pretty sure I was alive before then too. Oh well. Anyway, I was weak, not that I’m any stronger now, and suddenly I heard a voice come out of nowhere. I thought I might have had too much to drink, but then I realized that I didn’t drink anything yet because I was on my way TO the pub!
The voice said “I AM THANATOS1393, AND FROM NOW ON YOU WILL DO AS I COMMAND!” Then I woke up. I was so relieved to know that was a dream… until I realized I was covered in cuts and bruises and in the town hospital… Dazed and confused I tried to make sense of what had happened but couldn’t.
“WHAT THE H-E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS IS WRONG WITH YOU THANATOSE!!!!” OK it has to be the morphine, it has to be! “NOPE” !? OK now I’m starting to worry I might just be crazy! “YOU ARE NOT CRAZY MORTAL, OK YOU ARE A LITTLE CRAZY BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT. I AM A GOD AND AS I SAID EARLIER FROM NOW ON YOU WILL DO WHAT I SAY! AND THIS TIME TRY NOT TO FAIL YOUR QUEST 5 SECONDS IN…” Quest? What quest?
“SEVERAL HOURS AGO I CAME TO YOU AND ASKED YOU TO BATTLE MONSTERS AND BUILD A TEMPLE IN MY HONOR. YOU DECLINED, rather bitterly I might add, BUT THEN I BOUGHT YOU A DRINK. 1 DRINK. YOU THEN GRABBED A BAR STOOL AND PROCEEDED TO UNDERGO A QUEST OF YOUR OWN, ONLY TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE BY THE BARKEEPER.” It’s all coming back to me… that punch hurt!
Hey why are there numbers in your name? “I…YOU…HAS…JUST…CAN’T…SHUT UP!” OK, geez touchy… After a lengthy discussion over tea and crumpets Thanatos1393 explained how this whole Godville thing works, I still don’t understand it though.
Anyway, a few weeks later, after slaying many monsters and gathering many bricks for His temple, I had a funny feeling about this Dust Bunny I was fighting so I decided not to kill it, name it Sooba and make it my pet. What a useless thing! He didn’t do anything except trip a few monsters! I know this may sound mean but I wasn’t all that upset when he died…why I ressurected him I have no idea.
So I joined this guild called the “Time Lords”. I liked it there, but when He ignored me for a week I was so upset that I left and joined the “666” guild. My Lord wasn’t to thrilled about that when he found out… I was struck by lightning and He told me to join this other guild called “Guild Name”.
Boy is this guild great! They sure are friendly too! Upon arrival I was asked to add my favorite cheese to their list and I slyly wrote “The dairy kind” hehehe. I’ve made alot of friends here and it turns out that my childhood buddy Zephrix is here too, we are going to cause SOOOOO much trouble, or not, I don’t know. After talking with him I realized he was duped into this hero thing too by some God calling himself Zephurious.
A few weeks later Sooba died again so I decided to just bury him. Luckily a few days after that I found a Rocky Raccon. I named him Sneezy (clever I know!). And guess what! He’s still alive! He too is useless but at least he’s funny! THANATOSE! Yipe! STOP TELLING YOUR LIFE STORY AND GET BACK TO WORK! OK, OK, geez don’t get your panties in a bunch…
OK, so I was kind of ignored last weekend so I took a chance and tried to leave Guild Name…. it didn’t work. Does anybody have any aspirin?
Mysterious forces created a golden brick in my wallet. Almighty One, was that your doing? YES, YES IT WAS. Cool, thanks man! SHUT UP AND KEEP QUESTING! No sir! (thunder rumbles) OK, OK!
Sneezy died…I’m so upset! He was the only one who ever liked me! I don’t think I will ever lov…Hey another Rocky Raccoon! I think I’ll name him Iago. Thanatos1393, what do you think? YOU MORON! What did I do?
Iago just died…I don’t seem to be having any luck with these pets now do I? But you know what? I miss him. Ressurection time!
Well, Iago died again…(sigh) What will happen now?
As it turned out, I got tired of carrying his corpse around, so I layed him to rest…But fear not Thanatos1393, for I have tamed myself a Trojan Horse! ...