Was born created at a few minutes before 1:00 pm. Am I supposed to just go around killing things? Is somebody laughing at me? “Helloooooo!”
By now I have killed so many monsters. Five hundred, at least. Does that make me a gasp murderer?
You know, when you presume, you make a praise of me and you.
What’s black and white and red all over?
Those guys, once I’ve killed them!
Tried practicing yodeling, but my solo act was cut short when a roadside tree uprooted itself, approached menacingly and told me to shut up.
¡noʎ ʎouuɐ oʇ ʇsnɾ uʍop ǝp!sdn ʎɹʇuǝ s!ɥʇ ǝʇoɹʍ I ’ʎʇɥƃ!ɯl∀ ʎǝH
Just before I came back to life, a tall bony fellow gave me an aura of spookiness as a parting gift.
I am… REBORN!
Stumbled across a sign that read: “Help, I’m being held prisoner in a sign-making factory!”
Discovered that a handful of my gold coins were actually chocolate ones wrapped in foil. Yum!
Great, my legs have fallen asleep. Which always means they’ll be up all night partying.
Great One, why did you create monsters? I could pray to you all day if I didn’t have to worry about getting killed by these nasty creatures.
Saw a hero speed wildly by on a chariot, while being struck by lightning numerous times. I think he might have been driving under the influence.
I had to buy this darksaber; it just called out to me. It might have sounded a bit like a muffled high-pitched version of the trader, but I distinctly heard it say, “Buy me, Princess Kitten! Buy me!”
Found a yellow submarine at the seashore yesterday, but it was infested with beetles so I let it be.
Cats only wish they had this many lives.