12:22 AM Saw Patman Jenkins running from a Stoned Golem while I was fleeing from the Nine Inch Snail. We joined forces and bravely fled together.
07:41 AM Patman Jenkins jumped in front of me and yelled, “Interception!” as the healing ray descended from the heavens. Please try it again, Great One, he’s gone now!
07:45 PM Met Patman Jenkins, and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health.
03:27 PM Patman Jenkins gave me a potent placebo for my hypochondria. At last, someone takes me seriously!
08:41 AM Patman Jenkins taught me a special skill that he said no one else knows, called “shiny heels” and swore me to secrecy. I’m not entirely sure what “secrecy” means, but I can’t wait to show everyone at the tavern!
09:27 PM Met Patman Jenkins and borrowed his diary to read. Edited several entries to make it appeal better to my taste.
08:06 AM I just got news that Patman Jenkins bit the dust, so I tried it. Gritty and dry with an earthy flavor.
12:06 PM Ran into Patman Jenkins laying a wreath of flowers near one of my old tombstones, which read, “The Once and Future Home of Akatriel.”
07:47 AM Just as Mortal Wombat was about to kill me, Patman Jenkins came in yelling, “Don’t worry, I’ve got your back!” and finished it off. Thanked him by letting him have the rewards from the corpse.
03:15 PM Patman Jenkins and I both wanted to buy the shield of Heaven’s Protector, so the trader auctioned it. After a fierce and stressful hour, the price soared to 1637 coins and I emerged as the winner.
10:58 PM Patman Jenkins took the monster aside, giving me plenty of time to get away. Don’t worry Syntax Terror, I’ll get you next time!
12:50 AM Met Patman Jenkins. Borrowed some food and a couple bottles of healing water. Feeling much better now.
03:38 PM Patman Jenkins came in and attacked the merchant, screaming about a fake gold coin. In the confusion, I took a figment of the imagination from the counter.
01:24 PM Patman Jenkins ran out of the bushes shouting “Akatriel, I’m coming!” and ran right past me. Well, you know what they say – if you want something done right, do it yourself.
06:33 PM Climbed a tree to avoid the Critical Bug. Met Patman Jenkins avoiding his own problems.
02:00 PM Saw Patman Jenkins running from an Effective Butterfly while I was fleeing from the Evil Overlord. We joined forces and bravely fled together.
09:16 PM I bet Patman Jenkins that I could count up to eleven. Luckily, I had a hole in my sock.
09:32 PM Ran into Patman Jenkins. I must remember to look where I’m going when I’m heroically retreating from a battle.
06:56 PM Found Patman Jenkins stranded at the bottom of a bear trap. Carefully avoided jumping in the trap myself, and instead fell into a nearby pit while looking for assistance.
10:57 PM Fell into another hero’s trap. I would have been injured, but Patman Jenkins was lying at the bottom and broke my fall.
06:29 AM Garçon! Another round for everyone. And put it all on my tab, under Patman Jenkins.
09:27 PM Met Patman Jenkins and borrowed his diary to read. Edited several entries to make it appeal better to my taste.
10:39 PM With its last breath the defeated Feral Pet Rock coughed up Patman Jenkins and died. He looks a little shaken up, but handed me the pet rock and 9 gold coins he found in its belly as a thank you for saving him.