level 57


Age 8 years
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 86 thousand
Death Count 57
Wins / Losses 46 / 44
Temple Completed at 06/10/2013
Wood for Ark 4.2%
Savings 905 thousand (3.0%)


Weapon sword of irony +66
Shield irresistible force field +69
Head masque of the red death +67
Body boiler plate mail +68
Arms big bangles +66
Legs nuclear power pants +66
Talisman passion flute +68


  • battle chess level 39
  • cri de coeur level 31
  • navel clamp level 29
  • thumb blowing level 29
  • lion belch level 28
  • clinical strike level 27
  • shiny heels level 26
  • backyard portal level 26
  • unbearable boredom level 23
  • instant hairloss level 23




  • Honored Favorite
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Animalist, 2nd rank
  • Martyr, 2nd rank
  • Careerist, 3rd rank
  • Champion, 3rd rank
  • Hunter, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

What happened? Where am I? Is this a temple? How did I get here?

I wasnt sure so I checked the map. Trollbridge is one inch that way. Shortly after I arrived I got a letter from a Ligerian Prince looking to smuggle thousands of gold bricks out of his country, and he will let me keep enough to finish my temple! All I had to do was send him 59 coins for shipping. I hope I hear back soon…

By the way, I am writing this entry with a pen I ‘accidentally’ took from the Godville Bank and Trust.

In the meantime I tried to send an influence up to her goddess. Didnt seem to work so I Fell off a cliff. Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

As I wandered I came upon an arena. seemed to me a good time to show others who’s boss. Quickly I realized I an not yet that strong. Trying to look inconspicuous as a strong fighters scanned the benches looking for an opponent and hoping to find someone my equal! Absolutely no one to fight with. What a pity… Anyway, teleportation to the city was great.

My vision suddenly went dark and my ears began to pound. Once I recovered, I found myself at the center of an arena with a strong desire to kick some butt in the name of  my goddess!

It wasn’t going well until I managed to grab my opponent’s health bar and beat him with it, breaking off a piece in the process.

A few days later I was abducted by aliens looking for intelligent life forms. I must be smarter than I look, because they promptly sent me back. To where? Tis hard to say. I looked, but all I could find was a map with an ‘X’ scratched on it! I had to ask, why do people insist on vandalizing perfectly good maps?

I thought it would be better if I used the force. Wildly swinging a stick and making lightsaber noises…then hitting myself was NOT a good idea. Got a concussion. srehto ot gniod neeb ev’I tahw siht si …sI .nopaew ym htiw flesym debbats yllatnedicca I !dlrow eht fo pot no gnileef tuo deklaW .hsac rof tool ym dedarT

Wow, was a relief to get back to Godville and get myself some help!

Many days of fighting and questing lead me back to town for a rest. I got bored, so i was picking my nose with my finger. Gave a tree a hug today, it smiled at me as I walked away… It likes hugs.

Sometimes I have to question what is going on in my world though. For instance, the other night I was in Beerburgh and I had some heavy drinking to do. Suddenly I get word from above to “hurry up and finish quest” I just had to yell to the sky “Seriously, Almighty? You expect me to get up and quest with a hangover like this?” I mean, really.

Note to self: wear pants first, the armor is cold!

Found a yellow submarine at the seashore yesterday, but it was infested with beetles so I let it be.

I recently lost my blanky. Haven’t slept in days.

As the earth shook, a statue of the leader of “Knights who say Ni” guild suddenly appeared in the market square. For some reason it was clad in a pink feather boa. Surely the villagers will talk about this for a long time.

Found a mini-quest on a bulletin board: go fishing in the gene pool. I guess I’ll do it really quick. It turned out that to fish for red herring wasn’t the last task of the quest! Now I have to find someone who sleeps with the fishes. Let’s see who’ll have the last laugh.

Well, the mini-quest seems to be harder than I thought. Better stop now before it’s not too late. instead I Suddenly felt a strong desire to examine the box with a question mark. My senses didn’t let me down — found 4808 gold coins inside!

I looked into the kind eyes of the vanquished monster and suddenly decided — Sun Dog, you’ll be my pet! And I’ll call you Baloo. Bandaged his wounds, gave him a treat and fastened the leash. But then he was killed by a monster.

June 23rd I began my 100th quest. Plus, I’ve been chosen for an epic mission! I was tasked to succeed where all others have failed. But I have a feeling it will take a while…Headed out at 8:57 am. i returned 2 1/2 days later. died a couple times but i suppose it was worth it….

goofed around for a couple week, doing the odd quest here and there. then July 8th, 09:02: Oh, I guess this quest is going to be really epic! I have to climb the tallest beanstalk to have a bird’s eye view of Godville. And they want to make it fast. Are they kidding?