09:39 Dearest diary, today was the day! I carefully laid the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all windows to let your glorious light shine in. I can’t believe it, your temple is finally finished, my Lord! I feel delirious with happiness.
14:21 Stared into the abyss. Couldn’t see a thing except some lemmings practicing base-jumping.
08:44 Duty called. I didn’t pick up in time.
10:09 I’ve been trying to stuff a pillowcase with rocks. It’s harder than it looks.
08:53 I exhaled loudly, but it seems the Hanna-Barbarian was unaffected. Strange. I was told that sighs matter.
08:05 My doctor told me that red meat is bad for me, but I know he’s wrong. It’s fuzzy, green meat that’s bad for me.
10:51 Kissed all the frogs in the nearby swamp. Didn’t find any of the hallucinogenic ones, but managed to schedule a few dates.
13:06 Attended group therapy with the voices in my head. They all agreed I was disruptive and asked me to leave.
14:22 Got a letter from a Ligerian Prince looking to smuggle thousands of gold bricks out of his country, and he will let me keep enough to finish my temple! All I had to do was send him 4938 coins for shipping. I hope I hear back soon…
07:06 Paid 5006 gold coins to increase the level of my sober view skill. I’d gladly pay double that for someone to train up my dating skills, though.
11:04 PM I’ve been thinking, Almighty. Is ‘Panic early, panic often.’ really such a good battle cry? Will it strike fear into the hearts of my enemies and comfort me on cold, lonely nights?
12:03 Got into an argument with a traveler over which one of us was the most humble. I won, of course, because I’m just awesome like that.
11:18 Turned briefly to the dark side. Couldn’t see anything.
10:56 When I asked the merchant’s daughter out on a date, she laughed so hard that she forgot to turn me down. Score!
08:25 Dear face, thank you for blocking that punch for me.
09:06 Met up with Jimmy Recard and challenged him to see who could kick a wasp’s nest the furthest. We both lost.
09:09 Meandering along the path I came across a sign that said “Low Trees”, so I gave one a big hug and carried on my way.
08:06 Oh no! I’ve lost my thesaurus. I can’t find the words to describe how upset I am.
06:53 AM While Robbie Frost feebly attempts to convert to the metric system, Dim Wit beats her to within 2.54 centimeters of her life.
07:47 PM Wow, a subnet mask! This thing will match the rest of my body armor perfectly.
09:36 Found a gingerbread house. Couldn’t help myself – had a bite of the windowsill.
08:31 PM “The Diary of Dim Wit” sounds lame. Maybe I should call it “The Epic Chronicles of Dim Wit?”
- Boo – 14 Significant Otter
- Tige – 20 Biowolf
- Tigger – 29 Heffalump
- Gleep – 34 Double Dragon
- Snowy – 26 Alpha Centaur